The entire Zhengdong General's Mansion is very lively and busy, as if it's the Chinese New Year. Especially in the Di Pavilion, it's extremely noisy. In addition to the noisy drums, strings and human voices, bursts of wild laughter can be heard from time to time.

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"Hahaha..." The laughter seemed to be echoing in my ears.

A few days ago, Wang Cen was very happy that Aye and her father had returned safely. But she was not used to the scene in the house today. She had not liked talking or being lively since she was a child. In the past two years, because she was not in a good mood,

Well, more easily irritable.

The feeling of irritability cannot be described. It's like there is something dirty on my body that cannot be washed away no matter what.

There was a celadon basin next to the dressing table, with cold water in it. Wang Cen walked over alone, dragging her long skirt, and began to wash her hands again. At first, she also washed her nails carefully, and gradually, between her fingers,

I felt a little upset and just rubbed my hands in the water.

She kept rubbing it, even she felt disgusted that she was very sick, but she couldn't control it.

Her clothes had to be changed every day, and she even heard the maid complain behind her back. She was always spotless, but she still felt unclean. She couldn't get rid of that cleanliness habit, which had been tormenting her in recent years. Strangely enough,

She didn't feel dirty elsewhere or on other people's bodies, but she just couldn't stand even a little bit of dust on her own body, especially her hands.

Distraught, she recalled what her father had told her when she was a child. It was about a woman who was helped up and touched, and her arm was cut off. The blood in the room could not be wiped clean.

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In fact, when she was a child, her father and mother told her many similar things and truths, which meant that she should pay attention to the family tradition and reputation. She has understood it since she was a child. But somehow, her father told so many things, only the one who chopped off her arm.

She remembers things about women the most.

...After a while, Wang Cen remembered the letters that her father had burned not long ago. At first, she felt inexplicably relaxed, as if she had put down a big stone, but that sense of relief soon disappeared.

My father could burn the letter written by Wen Lang, but what about the letter written by Wang Cen himself?

The Wang family and the Wen family are both clans from Qi County, Taiyuan County. There is a custom in their hometown that the deceased's belongings should be divided among family members and relatives. The more personal things are, the better, the more they can protect the future of their relatives. Sometimes relatives will die to fight for it.

Brothers can quarrel with each other's personal belongings.

Maybe her letter has spread throughout her hometown, and she doesn't know when the rumors will spread to the world. After all, the Wang family in Taiyuan is a very famous noble family, and people like to talk about celebrities. Wang Cen occasionally has nightmares.

She saw many people calling her a whore. She was just scolded. What she feared most was that the reputation of the Wang family would be tarnished, especially her father, who cherished the family reputation very much.

It is not known who has read those letters. At least one of Wen Lang's cousins ​​knows about it.

Just before Wang Cen went south with her father, she also received a letter from a cousin of the Wen family sent by Zhuang Ke.

The cousin of the Wen family said something very polite in the letter. The main idea was that the deceased is gone, so the girl should not be overly sad. If you really want to do something for Wen Lang, just take care of Wen Lang's parents and show some filial piety for Wen Lang.

Only an only son.

The words were very tender, but Wang Cen understood that this must be some kind of blackmail. As a teenage girl, she could not go back to her hometown to take care of her two elders, so she had to give the banker some money to take back.

...Looking back on these years, Wang Cen often feels like he is living in a dream. It is very boring to think about it. He spent the youngest years of his life and did something that ruined his reputation. This world is indeed full of dust.

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But the one she wanted to blame the most was herself.

At first, Wen Lang wrote to contact her, and the writing was quite satisfactory, with nothing inappropriate. She just thought it was refreshing to be able to correspond with her mentor who was so far away, so she didn't pay much attention to it, and she also replied to the letter. Moreover, when she was a child, she respected her mentor very much and felt that he

He has beautiful handwriting and is good at swordsmanship. He is really an amazing person.

Later, when she was about twelve or thirteen years old, the content of Wen Lang's writing began to change.

She naturally understands that those words are becoming more and more offensive, and she has understood them since she was a child. But Wen Lang always finds a way to support her between the lines, saying that she is as good as a fairy, more noble than a princess, and he will do anything for her.

And so on. She really thought too simply at the time, and was even a little dizzy, coveting that feeling of superiority.

Only Wen Lang has been writing those things. Of course Wang Cen is embarrassed to write explicit words, and she has very few letters. But as long as she responds once, Wen Lang will be encouraged and will definitely send several letters to Luoyang one after another.

Of course, Wang Cen never agreed to Wen Lang's demands. Perhaps, if he had really agreed, he would not have written so many letters. People in the world are always particularly persistent about things that cannot be fulfilled.

Wang Cen pretended not to know anything about dancing swords together, admiring the moon together, marrying someone other than her, etc. She was only happy with the words that made her feel like a fairy and make her feel superior.

What's more, she never thought that she could choose to refuse. At that time, she seemed to be subconsciously afraid of offending Wen Lang, and then her father would know about it when the incident happened. What she thought when she was twelve or thirteen years old was really a bit stupid.

Because it was a reply to Wen Lang's letter, it was inevitable that Wang Cen's letter contained some words that violated etiquette. Some topics were not something that an innocent girl who had not left the government should mention. Besides, she really didn't know much at that time.

He didn't pay any attention to the words of the letter.

That's why Wang Cen has never dared to destroy Wen Lang's letters. If something happens, and Wen Lang's letters are used as evidence for comparison, then people may understand that she is not that kind of person, and maybe her crime can be mitigated.

?

But who in the world cares about those complicated comparisons and those who spread rumors? Who is here to uphold justice? Wang Cen’s only hope is to get his family to pass the evidence and believe the truth, hoping that his family can be a little better.

Forgive her.

Maybe she still thinks too simply.

...In the past two or three years, as she grew older, her thoughts gradually changed, and she began to truly understand fear. Worry and worry gradually replaced the self-righteousness and superiority of the past. In the following period, she remembered

I should have only replied to two letters.

Wen Lang was ill and could not be cured for a long time. He wrote a lot of words about loneliness, fear, and unwillingness. Some of them mentioned asking Wang Cen not to die for his love, but to let him face this alone.

Wang Cen once wondered if she had been cast under a spell and had written some kind of suicide letter in a daze, because she didn't mention that at all and didn't even think about it.

She was living well and was only a teenager, so why did she seek death? Moreover, Wang Cen did not expect at all that Wen Lang would really die. She thought Wen Lang was just too worried about herself.

Wang Cen's Aye is over sixty years old, can't he still be an official? Wen Lang is still so young, how can he die so easily?

Therefore, Wang Cen didn't want to break out and write anything bad, so he wrote two letters before and after. They were basically to comfort Wen Lang, let him think broadly, and persuade him that he was not so lonely, and there were still people in the world who cared about him.

Such a letter would be misunderstood if one did not read what Wen Lang had written. In fact, Wang Cen felt that his parents must care about him.

In the end he really died!

Then Wang Cen remembered the custom in her hometown. From then on, she never stopped worrying, just worried that her letter would be seen by others. Not only was she worried, she was also very sad and sad, feeling that she was finished.

When Wen Lang's cousin sent a letter with words of filial piety, Wang Cen felt a little better. Sometimes, not knowing whether the sword on his head would fall off was even more uncomfortable than if it actually fell!

... As time goes by, Wang Cen has more and more ideas. Perhaps someone who is not very talkative has more ideas.

Wang Cen first realized that Wen Lang had mentioned the matter of dying for love many times. In fact, he was just like a drowning man trying to hold on to a straw. He was indeed afraid of facing it alone. He wanted to keep something, even before he died.

Possessing something. At that time, people feel really crazy.

Later, she thought about how she was eleven or twelve years old when she received Wen Lang's first letter. She was only a few years old when she was in her hometown, and came to Luoyang when she was about eight or nine years old. She began to guess that she was still a girl.

At that time, Wen Lang might have had some evil thoughts early on? Maybe it was because of her birth status?

Although it is not uncommon for some powerful men in this world to raise girls and have evil thoughts towards girls. Wang Cen instinctively felt disgusted and resentful of such abnormal practices.

However, even if she wanted to hate Wen Lang, she couldn't. What else could she do if everyone was dead? He had taken away all the complex emotions and brought them into the gloomy, unknown, and awe-inspiring tomb, leaving only

Just those letters.

There is always an elusive fear in dealing with the dead.

...Wang Cen has never dared to tell her father about these things. She originally brought them on herself. And she knows her father very well. He will definitely misunderstand and will not be able to listen to her explanations calmly. He will think too much and overthink things.

You have to completely deviate from the truth.

Wang Cen is already very irritable, and he will have to deal with his father when the time comes. His father is also a person who cares very much about the family's reputation. He will definitely be extremely angry and difficult to appease.

The result was just as she thought.

My father eventually discovered the letters and kept blaming her. He burned the letters in a rage and lost the evidence. Moreover, he didn’t believe what she said at all. It was useless no matter what he said. Now that he had no evidence, it was even more...

Don't argue with anyone.

My father always thought that he felt sorry for Wang Cen, but Wang Cen felt suffocated. It might be wrong and unfilial to think this way, but she couldn't deceive her feelings.

In her father's eyes, she must have been unclean.

Wang Cen himself felt that she was really unclean! If those scandals were spread, what would her future husband think of her and treat her if he knew about it? How many unpleasant words would he say, and maybe even the Wang family would be humiliated too!

She wanted to cut off her "arm" to make herself clean again. But it was no use. She couldn't find where the arm was.

But she didn't want to die. Wen Lang was not the only one who was afraid of death. She was also afraid of the grave.
Chapter completed!