Author: Nan Ruoruo

Li Mianmian's nose was sore, and she was so overwhelmed by what he said next that she couldn't make a sound for a long time.

But then she thought that the "want" he said did not mean the ambiguous meaning she imagined, so she gradually calmed down again.

"Do you know what half a year is?" She didn't even call her brother, her tone was very calm, "The days we stayed together only amounted to more than two years - even if you include my sophomore year in high school.

Years. But the fact is, you left when I was a sophomore in high school."

Gu Yanci said nothing.

He forgot to consider this.

In fact, for him, the separation between Li Mianmian and him did not last that long, nor was it so complete.

When Li Mianmian was in her senior year of high school, it was not true that he hadn't seen her for a year.

Occasionally when the KTV is not busy or on vacation, he will pick her up secretly.

Gu Yanci knew that high school boys would have some trash in their heads, so ever since what happened with Ma Jinsai, he had been uneasy.

He had promised to pick her up every day, but he failed to do so in the end, but at least he would still go there occasionally.

Then he discovered that he seemed to think of himself as too important.

Li Mianmian has never been indispensable to him. Without him, she can still live a good life.

She just didn't get used to it in the first few days, so she gave him the illusion that she particularly needed him.

But in fact, she got along very well with her parents, younger brother, and classmates.

On days when he was not there to pick her up, Li Mianmian never went home alone.

She is quite popular. Although sometimes she only goes home with Nan Shengsheng, most of the time she is accompanied by a large group of people besides Nan Shengsheng. They walk home talking and laughing, which seems better than being alone with him.

We should be happier when we are together.

Gu Yanci knew that there might be a generation gap between him and her.

Others say that there is a three-year generation gap. The age gap between them is two years, and psychologically it may be several times that of two years.

There are so many generation gaps that I can’t even count.

Li Mianmian always said that he was more in charge than his father. Gu Yanci reflected on himself and occasionally found himself particularly annoying.

But he just couldn't help it.

Whenever he saw her being a little wronged, he remembered that when they first met, the little girl was like a frightened stray cat, trembling and hiding behind Lan Qingwan, looking at him with timid eyes.

Thinking of her sharing the cake with him, she didn't dare to get too close to him, so she held the cake in front of him in a very funny posture.

Thinking of the conflict between her and Li Yan, she cried and said that she should not have appeared.

I think of her crying so hard in his arms; I think of her being afraid of thunder and hiding behind the cabinet trembling; I think of her aunt squatting alone in the classroom that day, with an expression that looked as if the sky was about to collapse.

Then he thought of himself.

After witnessing his father beating his mother for the first time, he hid behind the cabinet and trembled just like Li Mianmian had done.

I wanted to cry, but I was too scared to cry.

He also tried to resist. When he grew up a little, when he saw his father being violent, he held the knife tremblingly and missed his father, but scratched his mother.

Just relying on oneself to resist is tantamount to hitting an egg with an egg against a stone. It is indeed too difficult.

At that time, he also thought about someone who could help him.

Later, when he was ten years old, he had a conflict with a classmate. The two of them fought, and he beat his head to pieces. His mother apologized and paid for it.

That time he was even more frightened than when he witnessed his father's domestic violence.

Because he feels that he is very similar to his father.

He remembered that Gu Yun had said countless times that he was Gu Yun's son and that Gu Yun's blood was flowing in his body.

Sooner or later one day... he will become like Gu Yun.

As a result, he became more and more disgusted with all his impulses and desires.

He began to learn to be patient, and he tried his best to endure it. The more angry he was, the more he had to laugh and speak calmly and slowly. The more he wanted something, the more he had to control himself and prevent himself from getting that thing.

Although he obviously likes sweets, he insists on brainwashing himself and never touches anything sweet, causing everyone around him to think that he really hates sweets.

Even including some habitual little actions and mantras, as long as someone mentions them, he will try his best to correct them.

He hates all emotions, emotions, and hobbies that cannot be controlled by reason.

What I hate the most is the half of Gu Yun's blood on my body.

The words he said when facing Gu Yun were not angry words.

He really wanted to drain all the blood that belonged to Gu Yun from his body. Just like Li Mianmian said, he also felt that he should not appear in this world.

He really tried to do this.

But then his mother became ill, and he no longer dared to think about these things.

There are many, many more difficult things in this world than dying.

At that time, the only ones who took the initiative to lend a helping hand and were willing to give him some comfort were Lan Qingwan and his wife.

So he wanted to repay these things to Li Mianmian.

He knew that he seemed to have intervened too much and failed to control the degree.

But it is difficult to control.

Because he always saw his own shadow in Li Mianmian, he couldn't help but want to protect her, to cover her inside like a glass cover, so that she wouldn't be as destitute and helpless as he once was.

Depend on.

This was probably the only thing that he couldn't control rationally.

It wasn't until he saw with his own eyes that she was doing well that he made up his mind to try to let go.

Try to find yourself who is rational and not controlled by any emotions.

Li Mianmian really had no contact with him for such a long time. It was really easy for him to deliberately reduce his presence.

But he only separated himself from her life, but he did not separate her from his life.

Li Mianmian is just like the self in his fantasy.

The one who helped me from the very beginning and was saved, then lived happily and contentedly.

He would often check to see how that "self" was doing.

Her circle of friends is not particularly rich, and she never posts any photos, but she will still share it every time there is something interesting.

Sometimes I go shopping and eating with my friends, and sometimes I go traveling and having fun with my family.

Compared with her circle of friends, the content posted by Lan Qingwan is more colorful.

Not only are there photos, there are also many videos.

Gu Yanci saved these photos and videos. When he had nothing to do, he would look at them and it would be like watching a dream.

When he mentioned Li Mianmian to others, he often spoke with unknowing pride and pride, as if this dream was created by himself.

Therefore, in his eyes, Li Mianmian has not changed much. Even though they have been separated for nearly half a year, he can still recognize her at a glance.

After more than half a year, he and Li Mianmian still spoke in the same familiar tone, showing no signs of unfamiliarity.

But he forgot that Li Mianmian's feelings were different from his own.

The little girl has grown up, she is generous and beautiful, she looks better than in the photo, and her personality has also changed a lot.

He was absent from the period when she was growing up the fastest. Perhaps in her eyes, he was similar to the wretched and weird brother Hao Yun who wanted to add her on WeChat for no reason.

Or even more annoying than Hao Yun.

At least Hao Yun didn't preach to her like his father.

His dream is no longer his.

She is herself, living in two completely different worlds from him.

"Then you..." Gu Yanci smiled and said softly, "If you encounter any problems in the future that my brother can help with, you can come to me at any time."

——He wanted to try to keep a little distance, at least not to make people so annoying.

To Li Mianmian's ears, these words almost meant saying goodbye to her.

After being quiet for a few seconds, she asked tentatively: "Do you have anything else to do?"

Gu Yanci didn't know why she suddenly jumped to this topic.

He also thought that this might be a tactful way of asking him to leave quickly, so he nodded and said with a smile: "Yes, something happened."

"Oh." Li Mianmian wasn't very happy, but didn't dare to show it too obviously, so he lowered his head and looked at his phone and said nonchalantly, "Then go ahead and get busy. My roommate also urged me."

Gu Yanci felt a tightness in his chest.

——Listen to the tone of speaking to him! He is really angry! The pain was in vain before!
To be continued...