Chapter 18

I was holding my child in my bedroom. [`Novel`] I had already closed the door.

The child was awake, and he was looking at me with his eyes wide open. The child's eyes were dark and full of curiosity. I was thinking: The child must be thinking, who is this person holding him?

The child's hair is very dark, a little hard in texture, and has curly hair on the forehead, just like mine. I gently stroked the child's head, and his hair felt soft and comfortable in the palm of my hand. I looked at him,

There was a dreamlike feeling in my heart: Is this my son? Is it really true?

Really, sometimes I don’t really believe that this world is real, and I always feel that many things are just a dream. Medical career: Obstetrics and Gynecology 18

Now when I think about my life, I realize that my junior high school years may have been the first time I realized my relationship with society, and initially had the concept of being a member of society. It was only in high school that I began to have fantasies: I

What will my future be like? Who may become my future wife? However, few people in middle school will think about another question: What will my future child look like? Will it be a boy or a girl? That

The reason why I didn’t think about such issues at this stage was because my children’s affairs were too far away from my reality at that time.

The real fantasy about children should be in college. Because at that time, we were close to the adult stage in terms of physical development and mental maturity. The more direct factor is that there are many people of the same age around us.

People are already married and have children, so when we see all this, we can’t help but think about such issues as fantasy. However, our fantasy is still vague and illusory, because at that time we still feel that we are very

Small.

However, we are envious of those shots of married couples holding their children. So in this case, we will start to fantasize: Who will my future wife be? What will our children look like?

?

However, when I actually got married, I no longer had any illusions, because at this time I felt that the arrival of my child was a matter of course. Perhaps at this stage, I was more excited or happy. The emotions of excitement and happiness will make people no longer have illusions.

.

When the child really comes into this world and is really held in my arms, like now, I can't believe that all this is true: Is this really my child? Is he my son?

Yes, of course. Then, I suddenly laughed. I felt that my sometimes thinking was ridiculous. Maybe it was because my marriage was not going well, so I always fantasized that all the bad things that had happened were just a joke.

Dream.

Maybe it's not just that, maybe I, like many other men, always have a desire to be unmarried in my subconscious.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu once had a wonderful and apt metaphor for our marriage. He compared marriage to a "sieged city" - people outside want to run in, but people inside are desperately trying to break out. In fact, there is a hidden meaning in it.

deep psychological roots.

Of course, there are fundamental differences between men and women when it comes to marriage issues. Women may have such emotions because of romantic disappointment, while men mostly prefer the new and dislike the old.

Women will maintain their marriages out of resignation, while men often do it out of responsibility or face.

I have heard the male compatriots around me complain more than once: How can marriage be like this? Why do I no longer feel anything after getting married? But my female patients often talk about their men. So,

Most men are fond of the new and dislike the old.

I believe that many men often dream that they are married before getting married, but she is uncertain in the dream, or they know the name of the woman they are marrying in the dream, but often find that they do not see the woman they are marrying at all.

I don’t know the other person’s face clearly. This is because I

Yearning and confusion about future marriage. But the dreams of men after marriage are completely different. The dreams of men after marriage are often like this: It seems that they are not married yet, so they go out to date the girl they like the most recently.

.Even men who already have children do it

Such a dream, but after the dream, he will be confused: I seem to have a child, right? I seem to be married, right? But when did I get married? Who did I give birth to my child with? This

It's funny, but many men really have such dreams. In fact, this is

Dreams still reflect our subconscious, because deep down in our hearts we always hope that we are young and that we have another choice. In the final analysis, it is still the same problem: our disappointment in marriage, or our

Deep down, I like the new and hate the old.

That night I had such a dream.

I dreamed that I was with a girl. She kept jumping for joy beside me, with a bright smile on her face. We were shopping hand in hand, and we played on the beach at the seaside, as intimate as the first love in our fantasy.

.But we didn’t hug, we didn’t kiss, and we didn’t have sex. In the dream, we were in the innocent scene in Qiong Yao’s movie.

Of course I knew who she was. Because of this, I was confused and surprised after I woke up. Because she in my dream turned out to be Tang Zi.

Then I got up, because I knew why I had such a dream, and I also knew why she appeared in my dream - I envied her youth, and I pursued the feeling of youth in my heart.

At the same time, deep down in my heart I still yearn for pure love, and even hope that everything about myself can be restored.

Of course it's impossible, after all, we can't turn back time. After getting up, I whispered to myself while changing the baby's diaper. I was shocked, because in the corner of my eye was Chen Yuan who was still sleeping.

I deliberately went to the hospital late today. I am the director of the department, so I can arrange my own time freely without outpatient clinics and surgeries. Moreover, the medical university has not started yet. Even if the school starts, I will still have a big class ahead of me, because

I am the director, so I am only responsible for teaching "General Introduction to Obstetrics and Gynecology". Other content will be taught by other people.

I have already prepared the lessons, so I am not in a hurry. Medical career: Obstetrics and Gynecology 18

When Azhu left, she asked me, "Why aren't you leaving yet?"

I looked at her and smiled, "Didn't you arrange a task for me?"

Her face immediately turned red and she turned around to go out. I secretly felt funny: This girl seemed to be really emotional. Just as she was shaking her head with a wry smile, she heard a knock on the door. Coming so soon? Haven't they met before?

?This Ah Zhu is real, why do you have to ask me to ask for her?

I hurried to open the door and was surprised to find that it was Azhu who appeared at the door. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Call me as soon as you get the news," she said.

"Just like this, you ask for a leave from the department. Gong Yilang will be here soon. You can arrange it for him yourself." I said to her with a smile.

"If you want to kick me out of your home, then you should arrange my future life for me. I am your junior sister. You promised me." She said, and then made a face at me.

"You..." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but she had already disappeared from the door. I couldn't help but shake my head and smile bitterly, "Hey! It's like I owed her something in my previous life."

Gong Yilang arrived on time at nine o'clock in the morning. When I had just wiped Chen Yuan's body and helped her put on clothes, he smiled at me and said, "Doctor Feng, you don't have to go to work today?"

"You have to go to work, I'm waiting for you." I said.

At this time, the nanny was getting ready to go out. She told me that she was going out to buy groceries. I nodded to her and then continued to talk to Gong Yilang: "I want to talk to you. You can take a rest this morning."

He looked very happy, but I found that the way he looked at me was a little weird. Suddenly, I remembered that he seemed to have looked at me like this before. Only then did I suddenly feel something: this Gong Yilang

He is a man who is more beautiful than a woman, and his eyes are as charming as a woman. What makes me even more incredible is that his eyes are so clear and bright that people can't take their eyes away.

I would never admit that I was attracted or confused by his eyes. I was just surprised and even a little shocked.

He was still smiling at me, "Doctor Feng, tell me."

What suddenly made me feel a little sick was that there was a gentleness in his voice. Also, his expression was very coy.

I seemed to have thought of something, and suddenly I didn't know how to continue the conversation with him, "Well... Su Hua seems to have asked you before. Did she ask you if you talked about your girlfriend?"

"I answered her, but I lied to her because I have a girlfriend, and there are more than one." She replied.

Not only did her answer not disappoint me, but it made me feel relieved. Because the feeling he gave me just now made me very sick and uncomfortable. To be honest, I really regarded him as that type of person.

"Oh. I see. Haha! It's okay, you can play the piano now." I said, thinking that Ah Zhu had such a hard life, why did he fall in love with a ****? Although I told Ah Zhu that I only wanted Gong.

She would have had a chance if Ichiro was not married, but I find that at least now even I can't accept this statement.

However, he did not go to the piano immediately. He still stood in front of me and said, "Dr. Feng, didn't you say you wanted to talk to me? In fact, I have always wanted to talk to you, but I found that you have been very busy.

.”

I was very surprised, "Oh? What do you want to talk to me about? Then let's sit down on the sofa and talk slowly. By the way, what kind of tea do you like to drink?"

"Whatever, I'll drink whatever tea you make," he said. Medical Path: Obstetrics and Gynecology 18

Then I made him a cup of Longjing and also made myself a cup.

"Tell me, what do you think?" I asked him with a smile after sitting down.

"You are so kind to your wife," he said.

"She has suffered a lot. I'm sorry for her." I sighed.

"Are you an obstetrician and gynecologist?" he asked.

I nodded, "My wife was once my patient."

"I heard that male doctors in obstetrics and gynecology don't really like women? Or even become more feminine?" he asked, "I'm sorry, Dr. Feng, I'm just curious."

I smiled bitterly, "More than one person has asked me this question. My answer is, no, that's not the case. I am a man, and I know this very well."

"So, will you get tired of women because you look at that part of them every day?" he asked again.[`Novel`]

I felt that his question was a bit unacceptable, but I thought that he was the piano player I hired after all, so I answered his question seriously, "A doctor is a doctor, and life is a life. It may have some impact, but at present

I didn’t feel it.”

"I feel it." He said, "I found that there are beautiful women living in your home, but you are very distant from them."

I immediately laughed, "It depends on who it is? Are you talking about Su Hua and Azhu? They are both my friends."

He shook his head, "No, you are very polite to them. You don't feel the same way a man does towards a woman. I can see that. I have always believed that a real man cannot pretend to be pure in front of a beautiful woman.

Because desire is something that comes from a person’s marrow.”

I thought this person was a little strange, but I didn’t want to continue discussing this issue with him, because I thought it was pointless and boring, so I smiled and said, "Really? Let’s not talk about this. I am very grateful to you for being able to talk about it every day."

Insist on coming to my house on time to play the piano. If you have any requests, please feel free to ask me."

"Actually, Dr. Feng, if I told you that I actually don't need money, would you believe it?" he said suddenly.
To be continued...