"Writer? No, I can't be a writer." Tolstoy shook his head slightly, and then showed a helpless smile, "Although many people have said this before... But I know that I can't be a writer at all.

You can’t become a writer.”

?

Kitahara and Kaede slowly put a question mark in their minds, and at the same time thought of the young version of Pushkin who felt that he could not write poetry.

No, are you big guys so humble?jpg

"It's different from what you think." Tolstoy glanced at the other person's expression and knew almost instantly what he was thinking. After all, this was not the first time he had seen this hesitant look.

"I did think about embarking on the path of writing before...if the war hadn't broken out."

"But now." He looked at the people gathered not far away, chatting with each other or walking together, his eyes looked soft and melancholy, "I really want to continue to pick up the pen, but I know that I can no longer write what I want to do.

I want a story.”

"...Why, are you really not able to write anymore?" Beihara and Feng were silent for a while, then raised their heads and asked very seriously.

However, although he still held on to low hopes, he already knew the outcome of this problem.

Wenye...

The time traveler turned the glass of water that still contained obvious warmth, lowered his eyes and fell into silence.

How should I put it? Although they are called "wild dogs", everyone in the literary field has their own stubborn persistence.

Perhaps their confusion and wandering stem from the incompatibility between this persistence and the surrounding environment, but they will never give up what they insist on because of this.

——So, what is the belief that the man in front of me, Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy, insists on and carries out throughout his life?

Beiyuan Hefeng looked at the person in front of him. For a moment, he felt that he had thought of a lot of things, but in the end it all turned into a gentle sigh:

It should be life...

"Because I know very well that art is fake." Tolstoy seemed to smile bitterly, and touched the glass water glass with his cold fingertips, making a clear knocking sound.

"Believing in the meaning of poetry and the development of life is a belief for which I have devoted my life. But on the battlefield...there, I understood how hypocritical it all is. I have always felt that I can teach others with words and let others

People got better development, but I found that I actually didn’t know what I could teach.”

"Teach them how to kill? Or how to take human life? Or, as an executioner, tell them how precious and worth cherishing life is?"

The voice of the retired soldier gradually dropped, and he said in an almost self-deprecating tone: "What can I teach them? People like me."

"..." Beihara and Feng did not speak, but continued to listen quietly. He knew that what the other party needed at this time was just someone who was willing to listen to him finish all his thoughts.

But...have we still walked on this road? The time traveler recalled Tolstoy's "Confessions" in the third dimension, and helplessness and understanding flashed in his eyes.

——Does my life have an eternal meaning that transcends death?

This is a topic that Tolstoy has been trying to explore in the third dimension, and it is also a sentence that shows the change of Tolstoy's thoughts: From then on, he abandoned his original class and beliefs and embarked on a road with the peasants.

Standing together on the road. Even accusing his own "War and Peace" of being just a "nobles' game".

The "Confessions" shows in great detail his thinking and searching during this period, his inner confusion and his relief in finding the direction in the end.

Obviously, the other party is currently in this period. He has doubts about life and the life he has been experiencing.

"I was very tired from the moment I left the war. I have seen countless people living hard and confusedly, and I have also seen many people die in ignorance - I can feel their helplessness all the time.

The reasonable situation is that I caused the life..."

Tolstoy looked at the crowd, and his voice gradually became very soft: "I feel that I can no longer pay so much attention to it."

Art is the decoration of life and the temptation of life. But life has lost its appeal to me. How can I use it to attract others?

After listening attentively, Beihara and Feng pressed their eyebrows, and then twitched the corners of their mouths with difficulty.

Sure enough, we have reached the ideological period when Tolstoy wrote "Confessions" three times!

It is said that despite having completely different experiences in the first half of my life, I was able to reach a similar psychological stage. Should I say that I am worthy of you, Tolstoy?

Let me think about it, how did Tolstoy find a way out in the third dimension in the end... as if he made life meaningful again by pursuing new ideas?

——Rediscovering the value of life itself from the most common and ordinary people, thus completing the transformation of the world view.

From the current point of view, the other party should also follow this path, but he will be in a state of entanglement and confusion for a long, long time.

So, is there anything I can do?

Kitahara and Kaede asked themselves this.

For the first time, the traveler who was afraid of trouble wanted to take the initiative to get involved in some trouble. Not because he wanted to make up for the regrets in the original work, or because of his long-standing commitment, but simply because he wanted to help the person in front of him.

You meet a gentle person who still has doubts about himself and has not yet found a way forward. And you happen to know what he really wants.

Then will you take the initiative to give him a hand?

Yes, if it were me.

Although this behavior of interfering in other people's lives is very arrogant, although I am just a fool who has not yet understood "life", although this behavior may interrupt the other person's process of sublimation in confusion and pain...

But, it’s completely impossible to just watch it like this.

Beihara and Feng looked up at the person in front of them, and seemed to see the bouquet of flowers made of countless pure lights.

A handful of snow-white flowers blooming in the most cruel, bloody and desperate place, a beam of light shining in the darkness of corpses and blood, a life that even war and artillery fire cannot destroy.

If you are seeing such a person in front of you, if the other person has such a beautiful soul, how could you not want to reach out to help the other person! (Shocking sound)

"So, are you struggling with 'life'?" The traveler rubbed his fingers slightly, re-expanded the perspective from higher dimensions, looked at the handful of extremely bright and beautiful flowers in front of him, and asked in a rather serious tone.

road.

"It's like a person who is lost in the forest. He feels scared because he is lost. He wanders around in the hope of walking on the right path. He knows clearly that wandering will only make him more confused, but he has to go back and forth. You feel that you

Is this the current situation?"

"Ah? That's right...it's true. The meaningless side of life suddenly opened up in front of me. I can neither completely ignore it and return to my previous life, nor can I understand this meaninglessness.

Completely agree.”

Tolstoy seemed stunned for a moment, and then replied - maybe he never thought that a stranger could express his inner thoughts so accurately.

"I feel that there must be a way, there must be such a road that can lead me out of the forest. I also believe that life has meaning, even if everything I experienced on the battlefield refutes this."

"But I can't find evidence, I can't find any evidence that can prove its existence..."

No, no, no, you idiot, you have found it!

Beihara and Feng looked at each other helplessly, with an inexplicable desire to complain in their hearts.

What you are looking for is right here, right now, right here, among the people around us.

Although many people’s impression of the Russian State Library is always dignified and reserved, in fact, there are more abundant things here, and the name is “life”.

And life itself exists in these most ordinary people, in the simplest life they have - this is the answer given by the three-dimensional Tolstoy after being confused for several years.

Although I have come here subconsciously so many times, I still haven't found that the answer has been given subconsciously... Kitahara and Kaede sighed.

"Actually, a long time ago, when life as we know it began to exist, people were living and knew the conclusion that life is empty. This conclusion proved to us the absurdity of life. But after all, people still lived and at the same time gave

Their lives have some kind of meaning."

Beihara and Feng silently straightened up, staring at each other - in fact, he wanted to look into each other's eyes, but the light on the other side was too bright, and he couldn't see the position of the other's eyes clearly - and then turned around and asked a little abruptly:

"Do you believe me, Mr. Tolstoy?"

He did not wait for the other party's reaction. He also knew that his words were irrational and impulsive, but he still smiled and said seriously:

"I can 'see' people's souls. Whether you understand it as a supernatural ability or a special talent, your soul has told me that you have found the answer."

Maybe you haven't thought about it seriously, haven't acknowledged this answer, and haven't been ready to break with your past, but this answer is indeed before your eyes.

The traveler paused for a moment, and did not directly tell the other party the answer that Tolstoy had found three times. Instead, he continued with a smile: "Then we might as well leave it like this. Since Mr. Tolstoy no longer intends to write a book, then I

How about writing a book for you?"

"Ah?" After Tolstoy was stunned for several seconds, he finally recovered from the series of self-exposures and inquiries made by the traveler. A tangled look of confusion, expectation and embarrassment gradually appeared on his face.

"No, I just think..."

"Mr. Tolstoy." Kitahara and Kaede blinked, and then decisively interrupted each other, smiling and repeating the question they just asked, "I ask again, do you believe me? Although for

This is a very presumptuous question for someone I just met, but do you believe I can understand you?"

"……believe."

Tolstoy was silent for a while, and then gave this reply firmly.

Otherwise? The relationship between people is never determined by the length of time they spend together.

Some people have known each other for a long time but still don't understand each other, some people meet by chance but they feel like old friends they have known each other for a long time. Some people can become close friends with just one sentence, and some people still can't touch your heart after talking for a long time.

Although they have not known each other for a long time, it is precisely because of this that the other party can see at a glance the crux of his confusion...

So moved? Maybe, but more of a feeling of peace of mind that I have finally found my "kind".

Of course, at this time, Kitahara and Kaede still didn't know what the person in front of him had imagined him to be like. He just showed a proud and confident smile after hearing this affirmative answer:

"Then we've settled! I'll write a book for you - if this is a dream you had from the beginning but decided to give up, then give it to me."

"I already know what its name is going to be. 'Resurrection', a nice name, right?"
To be continued...