The lights in the room are not too dark, but they are not dazzling either. It is a brightness that makes people easily relax. The surroundings are very quiet, and the soft whispers of women can be heard, recalling the experiences of that year in a very calm tone.

"I was thirteen years old, and I had just had my period, and something like this happened to me. I didn't know who to tell, but I knew very well that I couldn't get any sympathy or pity. Fortunately, I passed out, and they

I don’t know how long the two of them had been doing it, but it hurt a lot. My body seemed like a piece of inferior silk that had been torn apart. The water in the bathtub had long been cold and mixed with blood, so I grabbed the edge of the bathtub with both hands and sat on the ground.

, a pack of freshly opened sanitary napkins was scattered at my feet. My obsession with it started from that time. Every time I see this thing, my heart is ready to move."

The woman sitting on the sofa finally said it all in one breath. The hand holding the tea cup was obviously shaking slightly. She hadn't spoken so many words in a row for a long time. In fact, she had hardly spoken in the past year, so that her pronunciation

It sounds a little strange, there are some weird pauses between each word

The person listening carefully on the other side is a middle-aged woman with brown curly hair, blue eyes, and a straight nose. She is a standard European beauty. She is wearing a gray suit, holding a notebook and pen in her hand, and always maintains a light expression on her face.

expression

"Being able to talk about the pain in the past is the first step in healing. I'm glad that you are willing to talk to me. Today's conversation will stop here for now. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you feel that your sleep is not very good, I

You can contact your doctor and prescribe you some medicine that can help you fall asleep quickly."

After closing the notebook, this woman actually spoke fluent Chinese. She was waiting for the reply from the young woman opposite. Obviously, the faint blue and black color on the other side's eyelids showed that her sleep quality was not good.

"Thank you, but... I don't want to take medicine, no need."

Qiao Chuxia put down her cup, stood up, took the initiative to give the woman a goodbye kiss, then tightened her shawl, turned around and walked back to the bedroom next door.

The most famous female psychological counselor in Dublin looked at the bleak back of her latest client, raised her eyebrows helplessly, and suddenly felt emotional. Since ancient times, beauties are like famous generals, and they are not allowed to grow old in the world. When she first learned Chinese with her father, she didn't

She understands the meaning of this very well. In the past few months, she has visited this suburban mansion many times. Every time she sees this Chinese woman, she feels that she seems to be getting older. Her aging is not a change in appearance. In fact,

She is still young and beautiful, but this aging is due to mental decline.

Pack your belongings, Pauline Thain was about to leave when the sound of a car suddenly came from outside the villa. She was standing in the living room on the first floor. Within a few seconds, a tall Chinese man opened the door and came in.

"Hello, Doctor Thain"

The man stepped forward and took the initiative to open his arms and give her a hug. Pauline Thain was not surprised. She naturally knew that this man came from London almost every week without interruption.

"Cheng, long time no see, I have good news to tell you. There was some progress today. Miss Qiao actually talked to me about her childhood."

The man in front of him took off his hat and paused in the air, with a look of ecstasy on his face. His left eyebrow was raised high. Suddenly he thought of something, and a smile condensed on the corner of his mouth.

Without wasting a moment, Thain quickly took out the notebook from his handbag and told Cheng Fei the details of the conversation in the past hour.

"So, I also agree with the diagnosis and treatment results given by her attending physician. As you said, if Qiao's parents are really biological siblings, genetically speaking, such children will have certain physical defects.

Yes, it’s just that some are dominant, some are recessive, some are physiological, some are psychological. According to your information, Qiao’s mother also had some signs of mental illness after she was about thirty years old, so from then on

Genetically speaking, Joe is prone to mental problems. Her weird stealing habit is just a trigger. She is like a very fragile dam. As long as the amount of water is a little larger, she will be completely washed away."

Thain frowned and explained the conclusions she had drawn one by one. At the end, she added hesitantly: "And according to my observation, she seems to be more impressed by the past, but it is easy to forget recent things, such as

When I first came today, she asked the maid to serve me tea. She almost said the same sentence no less than three times, as if she was about to forget it when she turned around."

Cheng Fei nodded, exhaled a little irritably, took out the cigarette case from his coat pocket, thought about it but took it back, and thanked Sean again.

Pauline Thain thought for a moment, then tore out a page from the record book and handed it to Cheng Fei, "It is actually against professional ethics to show the client's treatment records to others, but Qiao's situation is serious.

It's too special. I'm afraid that my narration will cause unnecessary trouble, so I will give you today's record. If you have time, you can take a look. After all, you have known each other since childhood. It may be helpful to her health. I'll say goodbye now.

"

Cheng Fei took the light piece of paper full of letters, put it in his pocket, and personally escorted Thain out of the villa.

"Yes, Miss Qiao seems to have a bad memory recently. When Dr. Thain came today, she asked me to make tea. She said the same thing three times, as if she didn't remember what she just said."

The maid's words were exactly the same as Sean's. Cheng Fei waved his hand to indicate that she could leave and frowned even more.

Written on the paper in her hand are Qiao Chuxia's intermittent memories, the longest of which is about the rape that year. Her narrative is very fragmented, so Thain's record is not comprehensive, but fear and escape can be revealed between the lines.

, these words made Cheng Fei's eyes sting. He naturally knew what he had done better than anyone else.

"Hey, I'm sorry for you, but you're also punishing yourself..."

He crumpled the paper, his eyes filled with misery, sighed, and then walked up to her bedroom upstairs.

As expected, the maid said that she always liked to bask in the sun on the balcony in the afternoon. The attending doctor did not allow her to drink tea or coffee and other irritating drinks, so she could only hold hot water. However, she was not bothered and seemed to be waiting all day long.

Stay like this for an hour or two

“It’s autumn, you’ll catch a cold if you do this.”

Cheng Fei stepped forward, bent down, and covered Qiao Chuxia's legs with a thin blanket with his own hands, and then stretched out his hand to tighten her shawl. The warm sunshine made a rare blush appear on her face, which made her look uncomfortable.

so pale

"You're here"

Qiao Chuxia raised her eyelids and glanced at him, then closed them again, her eyelashes trembled a few times, and then opened her eyes again.

"Actually, you don't have to come."

She turned her head and found that the sunset was getting earlier and earlier in the past few days. It seemed that after just sitting for a while, orange appeared on the horizon.

It was brilliant but it was almost dusk, and she had a premonition that time was running out. She squinted her eyes and looked at the horizon. She hadn't slept well for several nights. At this moment, her vision was a little blurry, and the scenery in front of her seemed to be covered with a layer of gray.

Blinking quickly, the gray color faded away. Qiao Chuxia watched Cheng Fei squat down in front of her, his right hand still tightly grasping the corner of the thin blanket on her lap.

"Tell me, what can I do to make you feel better?"

He lowered his eyes, his voice already filled with tears.

No one could have imagined that Cheng Fei, one of the veterans of the British Royal Intelligence Service, a celebrity in the police industry who has been met and dined with the Queen many times, and a young and promising orientalist who is rare in London's upper class, would also be so overwhelmed.

She didn't answer, hesitated for a moment, raised her wrist, put her hand on the back of his hand, and patted him gently a few times, like a mother.

"I, forgive you"

He was shocked, but did not get up. A hot tear fell down, and Cheng Fei choked and said: "I don't ask you to forgive me, I only ask you to forgive yourself."

The hot water in my hand is now completely cold.

During dinner, the news that Cheng Fei would stay in the villa tonight surprised all the servants. This was the first time that the green-eyed, serious housekeeper asked him which guest room he wanted to stay in.

I asked someone to clean it quickly, but I was told that it was not necessary and he slept in the master bedroom.

The master bedroom was Qiao Chuxia's room. Her hand holding the fork trembled slightly, but she didn't make a sound.

After dinner, Qiao Chuxia usually watches the news for a while. She hasn't had a chance to use her English for a long time. People in the villa can only speak simple Chinese. Maybe she is afraid of being unfamiliar. She watches the news every night, even if she just listens to it casually.

Cheng Fei sat next to her and stayed with her without saying a word. Unexpectedly, today's headlines were about the resurgence of drug chains in Asia and the Middle East.

Qiao Chuxia watched it calmly, then fumbled for the remote control and turned off the TV.

"Chu Xia, I plan to stay tonight"

Seeing that she was about to leave, Cheng Fei reached out to hold her arm. Only then did he realize that she was terribly thin under the sweater, and his heart couldn't help but tremble.

She nodded and replied softly: "Okay"

She is already twenty-eight years old, and fifteen years have passed since that incident. A woman actually doesn’t have many fifteen years to waste.

Qiao Chuxia finished taking a bath with the help of the maid. When she walked out of the bathroom, Cheng Fei had already taken a bath in the bathroom next door. He was leaning on the bed and waiting for her. When he saw her coming out, he quickly got out of bed and picked her up.

The maid immediately walked away and carefully led the door, and the room became peaceful again.

Cheng Fei hugged her, put her on the bed, took a hair dryer and carefully blew her hair to half dry, and then slowly combed it with a comb.

The teeth of the comb brushed through the long hair, and he brought out a strand without using any force. Cheng Fei was stunned, and his face changed drastically. He didn't know that her hair loss was so serious. He tried to comb it a few more times, and his hands were shocked.

There was already a handful of hair, and his eyes were sore that he did not dare to comb it anymore, so he threw away the comb and hugged her.

"One of the three thousand worry threads is just one worry. If all of them fall out, the worries will be gone and I won't feel uncomfortable. Why are you worried?"

Qiao Chuxia spoke calmly, raised her hand that was hanging down, and hugged his back. She seemed to talk a lot today, more than she had in the past three days.

Cheng Fei stood, leaning lightly on her body, pressing down little by little, not daring to use too much force. When he kissed her forehead, she freed up a hand and turned off the light.

The two of them became familiar with the darkness in this room little by little. The burning heat between her eyebrows made her a little uncomfortable, but she did not avoid it. He also waited for her to adapt before slowly moving his lips down and kissing her eyes.

"If I could do it over again, I would definitely not do that to you. You know, I was half ashamed, angry and half jealous. When you saw such an unbearable scene, I was so angry that I became so angry."

Cheng Fei smiled bitterly, the words he had been ashamed to say for so many years finally poured out like a dam.

"My father has a special status. My mother spends three-quarters of a year in Europe and rarely returns to China. Their relationship before marriage was extremely good. It was a rare free love in the adult circle, but their relationship deteriorated after marriage.

Little by little, my mother's love for my father faded away. Later, this love turned into a perverted love. She couldn't completely get him, so she transferred this abnormal emotion to me when I was 12 years old.

On my birthday, she entered my bedroom at midnight. I was young and curious at the time, so..."

He was slightly embarrassed, coughed, and continued: "This abnormal relationship has been maintained for many years, but I also know that this won't work, so I only have some physical intimacy with her, and I have never been really close to her.

The time we had sex with you when you broke into me in the garden was the biggest one. Just as I was about to go in, I saw you who broke into me unintentionally. I suddenly felt very dirty. I was like a dog in heat that had been held in for too long.

, Apart from possessing you like that, I don’t know the second way, especially since Le Wenyu has had evil thoughts about you for a long time, so I took advantage of him and worked with him..."

Cheng Fei's voice was choked with sobs, and it could be heard that he was deeply repenting.

"Stop, stop talking!"

Qiao Chuxia suddenly interrupted him, not wanting to hear any more. Over the years, she had wrapped herself in layers of silk into a cocoon, but now she was about to be peeled off by him, revealing the softest and most vulnerable part.

He stopped talking and just kissed her intently, from her eyes to the bridge of her nose, lips, and chin. He took her lower lip in his mouth and sucked it gently.

Her lips were still sweet, making him linger. He pushed away her teeth and tentatively inserted the tip of his tongue a little. Seeing that she didn't dodge, he became bolder and continued to penetrate.
To be continued...