I lit a cigarette and smoked it in a little depressed mood. My grandfather's death made me feel extremely depressed. At this moment, I don't want to say too much, even though I haven't seen Chen Qingyi for several months.

"Do you remember the first time you brought me to the small town?" Chen Qingyi asked me.

"Um."

Chen Qingyi said with a sigh: "It has been more than 3 years, and time passes so quickly!"

I didn't say anything, and my heart was very sad. In fact, my grandfather's life had already begun to count down at that time!

"That evening, you took me to the river and drifted."

I recalled it for a moment, but it seemed that there was no such memory. I said, "I don't remember it very much."

Chen Qingyi didn't mind my forgetting. She took out her cell phone from her bag and played two videos for me, one was I was wasting the water, and the other was her. This thing really existed.

"What do you think?"

"I was a little surprised that you still kept these clips." I said.

"I have changed my phone several times, but every time I change my phone, the first thing I do is to transfer this video to a new phone. This is a good memory for me. At least since that time, I have never had a chance to get a waterfall again." Chen Qingyi said with some regret.

I didn't say anything, but just snatched off the cigarette butt in my hand and looked out the window in a daze.

"Let's go and go there, right now." Chen Qingyi suggested.

“It’s raining.”

"Can the rain stop you? Zhang Yixi, this is not like you, not like the fearless and daring you once was!" Chen Qingyi looked at me and said.

"I'm really not in the mood!"

"The evening when I first met my grandfather, you took me to get a water drift... Now that my grandfather has left, we will get a water drift again. It is also a special way of seeing you off with beginning and end. What do you think?" Chen Qingyi said seriously.

......

Chen Qingyi and I drove to the small lake. When I stood here again, we couldn't help but feel moved by the scene. More than three years of time seemed like a dream.

The rain hit the lake, and the wind blew hoarsely. I seemed to hear a whine: "The river flows across the river and my heart is disturbed. I look up and want to pick a cloud. I look back but see snow without trace. I brush my figure and live or die. I don't care about the vast world of white hair..."

I lit a cigarette, Chen Qingyi held an umbrella, and looked at the dark but turbulent lake surface because of the rain. We unconsciously approached each other's bodies.

I remember that I once felt life here, but I still haven't understood it yet. Why are we given life and finally welcoming death? What is the meaning of such a cycle? Is it really necessary to be in the vast world, and life and death are not a question?

The more I think about it, the heavier it becomes, the more painful it becomes... I seem to be in a purgatory life like a purgatory!

"The night here is not as beautiful as it was in the evening!" Chen Qingyi sighed.

“It will rain tonight.”

"Maybe, if it was sunny, there would be a moon, and if the moon was reflected on the lake, it would be not as dark as it is now, right?"

I looked up and saw dark clouds covering the entire sky. Behind the dark clouds, I seemed to see the lonely star of Tiansha, who had no companionship and was lonely for a lifetime.

Chen Qingyi lowered her body and picked up a smooth stone piece from the ground. When she lowered her body, the umbrella left me, and the smoke in her hand was destroyed by the rain in a blink of an eye.

The stone flakes jumped and continued on the lake surface. No matter how hard they struggled, they finally sank into the lake surface.

"Zhang Yixi, if you give the stone tablets enough motivation, would you jump to the other side of the lake?"

I pondered for a long time and said, "No, because you can't see the other side. You will never know how much motivation you have to give the stone slabs. If you don't have to sink to the bottom of the lake, if you give too much, you may fall into another lake!"

"If someone who has been to the other side leads you, you will use the most appropriate strength to send the stone to the other side!"

I smiled lost and said, "Have you ever reached the other side through the darkness?"

"I have been there, Ireland is my other side... I came back this time to take you and Pipi to Ireland!" Chen Qingyi looked at me, her eyes full of sincerity.

"That's your other side."

"It's ours, the other side of our family... Don't stay in this place that hurts you anymore, okay?...I can't bear to see you like this!"

“I don’t need sympathy.”

"This is not sympathy, it's love. I love you, love Pipi... I hope our family can be reunited. These days, I have opened a seaside hotel, a toy shop, and a bar. I know Pipi likes toys, you like drinking... I have used the wealth you gave me to create a small paradise for us in Ireland. We will definitely be happy if we leave the troubles in the country!" Chen Qingyi held my arm and looked up at me expectantly.

I suddenly felt tired and tired of my current life, but I didn't express my opinion, and there was something I couldn't let go of.

"Leave here and give everyone a perfect ending." Chen Qingyi's voice was already choked.

I remembered the tenderness that Chen Qingyi gave me...I remembered the pain that Anqi's marriage news gave me, and I saw the scene where the prince slashed my arm with a fruit knife in anger...

"Grandpa will rape me, but Mom Chen won't... Mom Chen also said that if I get a lot of little red flowers, she will send me a full set of Iron Man!" Pipi's words lingered in my ears again.

The betrayal of friends, the plot of enemies, the separation of lovers... I am really tired, I am shaken, I want to escape, maybe going to Ireland is really a perfect ending.

"Go to Ireland. We don't need to rush to remarry. We can try to fall in love and try a new life like many young people... Even if there is no love in the end, even if we can't be together, we are just friends and neighbors, which is much better than staying in China now!"

I stared at Chen Qingyi for a long time and finally said, "Give me some time."

"Yes..." Chen Qingyi nodded heavily.

.....

Leaving the dark little lake, I seemed to feel the Irish sea breeze, smelled beer and the smell of the sea, and the rows of rotating windmills by the sea. Our family of three was walking leisurely under the setting sun with the turning windmills... At this moment, I finally became less tired... I knew that the balance in my heart had gradually tilted.

When I returned to my residence, Chen Qingyi and Pipi slept together, and I was alone. I didn’t know what Chen Qingyi was feeling in the next room at this moment, but I was imagining and making a decision.

I know that in China, I can't give Chen Qingyi a sense of security, so she firmly wants to divorce me. I also remember that she used to be by my pillow, begging me to give up her domestic career and immigrate abroad together. I know that she can't let go of her love for me and Pipi, so she is compromising and waiting for me to compromise... But after the compromise between the two parties, will we really have the passion for love and life?

But I am really tired, so tired that I want to escape. As Chen Qingyi said, even if we don’t have love in the end, we still can’t be together. Just being friends and neighbors is much better than staying in China now!

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Chapter completed!