It should be from here that I tell my story. This story may be sad or dark, but these things really happen to me. I don’t know what kind of mentality I have to write this story like this. They are like marks in my heart and cannot be removed. Maybe I will feel a little better when I write it down as a story.

It was from that day that I went from being a pampered child to being pitiful in the mouths of people. When I was a child, I felt that being pitiful was a kind of luck, as if the world was very warm to you. But one day I realized that the so-called pitifulness was often ridiculed and looked down upon. So I cut off contact with those who had said I was pitiful before and never met them again.

How to say the life of elementary school is actually fine at the beginning. It is a little more complicated than kindergarten and has more homework. The teacher no longer plays with you kindly, but he dislikes you with a serious look on his face, and he can't learn it well. From simple pinyin to gesture learning to write, it is also a kind of progress. The nap class has also changed from being on the bed to sleeping on the desk. This is something that takes some time to get used to. At the beginning, it is always impossible to sleep. Every time the teacher goes upstairs to lie on the lounge chair with other teachers in nap class. We are not used to sleeping on the nap class and laugh and play in the nap class. The teaching building in the elementary school is not good, so the sound insulation is very bad. Sometimes it is too noisy and it is easy to attract the teacher.

In fact, my hometown is a small and developed place with light industry, so there are many people from other places. I should have started to contact the outside world at that time. I learned that ethnic groups are not divided by province but by region. Some ethnic groups have very unique styles and even attract me. The most profound thing in my memory is that there is a Miao classmate who always has a silver ring on his neck and his hair is tied with a whip. As for what ethnic group he is from, I have forgotten. I only remember that my relationship with him was quite good at that time. Not to mention how good it is, it should be considered as having fun.

My impression of my father's transformation should have started at that time, and I gradually became what I am now from that time.

My father and Aler followed a contractor again. I have a good impression of him. I often bring some things to visit my house. It seems that my grandfather had a little acquaintance with him when he was working at the dock, so he accepted that his father and Aler worked under him regardless of the rumors outside. My father is a very smart person and he does a pretty good job under his hands.

Although life is still stable now, it is still not a problem to eat and wear. But looking at the people who were behind me in the past are now thriving, it really doesn't feel good. Ale and Xiaoli used their savings to open a small shop around the corner, and built a place to live upstairs, and their lives are becoming more and more comfortable. Every time I see their family, I can't help but envy them from the bottom of my heart, always thinking how great it would be if my father also opened such a shop.

Xiaoli was watching the store at home, Al went out to work, and Xu Tao was smiling outside every day, and he couldn't tell what the impact of life had on his emotions. Actually, isn't this what I want? I can put a smile on my face anytime and anywhere, instead of having a bitter face every day as if praying for the whole world to comfort me.

I don’t have much impression of the first grade, so I will start from the second grade. That year I met many new friends, some of which influenced me for a long time, and the courtyard started to have trivial matters again from that time. That year, there were a few more students who came here, probably from other places, one fat man, one thin man, and one very smart genius. The fat man’s name is Li Qian, the thin man’s name is Wei Li, and the genius’ name is Wei Chengshan. The thin man has nothing to do with genius, but their surnames happen to be the same.

Li Qian is a very honest fat man with great strength. He does look fat, but he has been a very terrifying existence since then. His skin is as hard as a stone, and the flesh on his body is very tight. Later, when he was in junior high school, he could break four blue bricks stacked together with his bare hands, so many people called him Big Brother. Wei Li was a very naughty time, a bit bullying the soft and afraid of the strong. Of course, I am the soft. There is not much intersection between Wei Chengshan, but later he likes to joke about me, which makes the relationship between us very bad.

At that time, I was not good at making friends, and I only played in the corner with Xu Tao in school. Fortunately, there were many fun places in elementary school. After all, it was Xiao Xu in the countryside. The gaps in the small bamboo forest and the drainage ditches under the canteen were the places where Xu Tao and I went most often. Only there was the quietest place, which was considered a temporary private area.

In fact, when I was a child, I was not talented. I was unwilling to learn a lot of things, and I couldn’t listen to some of them. In fact, it was not because I was not easy to learn or what happened. I always felt that my spirit was a little unfocused. I only had my own world, flying dragons, or iron-blooded warriors in my mind. In fact, most children were like this, and they always had to be a little imaginative in their minds, otherwise they would be boring.

It was at that time that parents should have started to quarrel endlessly, and they didn’t know what they were quarreling. The sound was very loud and they would quarrel every time. Perhaps some marriages were like this, from being in love with each other to being in conflict with couples who quarrel all day long. Some people say that marriage is the grave of love, but I don’t think so. I think marriage is the deterioration of love. But some deterioration is as delicious as fermented products, while some deterioration is like fruits that cannot get into their throats after mold.

I opened my memory, as if I was turning on a yellowed page. The words inside were a little blurry, but I could still understand what was written on it. But I could no longer find the feelings at that time, but the remaining unforgettable memories are vivid in my mind.

The family was busy with their own affairs during the day, and no one did the cooking at home. It was from that time that the grandmother would limp from the front to the yard to cook for our family every day. She would prepare the meal for me to eat when I was over school. But maybe because the rules of our family were a bit strict, my father and I couldn’t serve the table first before they came back. Grandpa and grandma ate in their own room. Sometimes if I was so hungry, I would eat with them in my grandpa’s room.

My father came back a little late that day, and my stomach was not very hungry, so after I came back, I put two benches alone to do my homework while waiting for him to come back. My mother came back that day a bit early. There was no smartphone at that time, and the TV was still a color satellite TV, which was really boring. Every time she came back, she would find a small bench to sit beside me and watch me finish my homework slowly. I have been a little distracted since I was a child. Every time I do my homework, I always write for a while and play for a while. When my mother sat next to me, the smell of motor oil was very strong, and I sometimes smelled a little dizzy.

But this smell reminds me that she is by my side and I will finish my homework seriously. Once no one is watching me, I will start my own small movements. The homework that I can finish in half an hour may take more than two hours to finish. My father always teaches me a lesson because of this matter, and every time he scolds me and starts to educate the stick. He uses a useless wooden stick as a family method. He puts it behind the door of the living room upstairs, and every time he asks me to give it to him. Before he starts to beat me, tears are falling.

My father looked bad when he came back. It must be that something unhappy was happening on the construction site today. I was very unhappy to eat with him, and even couldn't eat it. The hostility he exuded all over me made me feel a little uncomfortable. He always sat in the south with a newspaper and looked at the rice wine in his glass from time to time. Sometimes when I didn't eat seriously, he would look at me with a creepy look, as if if I didn't like him, he would pick up a stick to beat me anytime and anywhere.

I don't know why he became like this. But sometimes I always feel that he regrets giving birth to me.

When I was a child, I liked to smack my lips when I was eating. He hated this the most. Every time this happened, he would glar at me, and then I had to close my mouth and eat. I couldn't put the chopsticks randomly after eating. Such rules would be constantly spoken from his mouth and restrained me. I always felt that eating was like completing a task. At this time, I envied Xu Tao very much. He smacked his lips until he was in his teens. He was happy and happy when the family was eating. But this was the feeling, but I never felt it before.

"Have you finished eating? How long will you take a bowl of rice?" My father was impatient when he saw me eating a bowl of rice for nearly half an hour, so he put down the newspaper in his hand and stared at me. I didn't dare to look up at his eyes, so he had to quickly bring the bowl of rice to his drunkenness. When he finished eating, he choked and I took a sip of the soup.

"Have you finished writing your homework? If you haven't finished writing it, hurry up and write it. Don't be too slow all day long, what's the way it looks like."

My father's tone was very harsh. I wanted to eat another piece of braised pork before leaving, but my father stopped me from drinking it:

"What are you doing? Don't eat food after you finish your meal. Go and do your homework!"

There is no room for anything in my tone. If I don’t set out to finish my homework right away, it will be a meal of fried pork with bamboo shoots.

I turned around and left the kitchen and walked to the yard alone. My homework and pen were placed on the bench in a mess. I sat in front of the bench and turned on the fluorescent light in the yard. I picked up the pen and traced it on the copybook. When I was a child, I didn’t understand what the meaning of copybook was. Every homework was written on the red line now, and then on the paper. But every time I wrote it myself was very different from the red line. I never had the patience to write the words completely on the red line. Every time my father was very annoyed when he saw my homework book, and even tore my homework apart.

I began to write my homework like a decent look, and I remembered the expected sound in my ears. Because there were two walls, I couldn't hear what they were quarreling. My father's voice was very loud. I guess if someone passed by outside the door at this time, I would definitely hear my father's yelling. That feeling that even a calligrapher might not be able to draw the red line on my notebook at this moment.

So I started my own little movement again, first holding my chin to fantasize about another world, then looking for a small hole on the table and poking the pencil inside. Occasionally, Xu Tian's face would appear in front of me, but because I had been a little too long and my hippocampus had not developed completely, I could no longer remember her appearance at that time.

Not long after, my mother ran out of the kitchen. When she walked past me, I seemed to see her eyes flushed. She rushed out of the door and I quickly stood up and followed.

After my mother left the door, she walked alone to the pump station on the left side of the courtyard, and squatted there and started crying. She was not as pretentious as those Yingyingyan, but was crying with the sound of blowing her nose. I didn't know what to say, so Zhide walked to him silently. In fact, before this, I was used to their quarrels. Most of the time, my mother would run out to find a place to cry.

My father chased me out of the courtyard. At that time, my mother and I were the most afraid of it because no one knew what he would do next. When he rushed over, I covered my head in a deliberate way. Sure enough, he slapped my face:

"Whatever you do, what you come out to do. You are the same as your mother, and you are useless!"

He held the red scarf I usually tied around his neck in his hand, pulled my neck and pressed it on the telephone pole, and tied my hand to it:

"You can stay here today!"

Then I turned around and grabbed my mother's hair and pulled him towards the direction of the courtyard. I cried very loudly. Many neighbors turned on the light because of my crying and my mother's struggle, but no one was willing to come out to help. I was actually very confused because all this happened without reason or warning.

But at that time, I still became a little used to it. I broke free from the red scarf tied to the telephone pole and ran towards the front. This habit was also formed when my father started to change. Every time I ran to the front to tell my grandfather and grandmother. Only in this way can I stop my father from continuing to beat me and my mother.

It seemed like he suddenly became like this, and no one knew why he became like this.
Chapter completed!