Ferry bar.

I found a booth in advance, ordered a glass of dark beer, and started waiting for Lin Jiayi to arrive. It was only afternoon. It was not yet time for men and women to get off work. The rare quietness was very useful. There was no noisy music, no twisting waist, and some were cigarettes and wines placed on the table, and folk songs sung by the resident singer on acoustic guitar.

This kind of bourgeois life makes me intoxicated, but this intoxication is like a bubble, which is broken with a slight touch. I am just an ordinary person wandering in Beijing to survive. Let me ask, where do people who struggle to survive have the right to enjoy this kind of life?

I lit a cigarette for myself. In the misty smoke, I saw a picture: She was still by my side. We opened a Kaba called Jieyou. She made arrangements for others. I held the guitar and sang songs written for her. We lived in the small town in my hometown. We had no worries about food and clothing. The Kaba income was enough to support the mortgage that was not much. We had a pair of children and also had a Satsuma life in a dull and peaceful life.

But none of this belongs to me.

When a cigarette burned out, I was still ferrying and nothing changed.

She is gone, I am lost, and I am still struggling in the city of Beijing. I don’t know why I think of Tong Xue again, especially when I imagine this lifestyle that is most suitable for me.

Why is she worth remembering?

Can seven years of joy not be forgotten after spending a year?

Shaking my head, I found that I couldn't see through it at all.

Pick up the wine glass and drank the dark beer made from pure grain barley in one breath. This little alcohol cannot make people intoxicated, but I would rather be intoxicated by myself.

The resident singer on the stage coughed gently and said to the customer who counted over with one hand: "We live in this city, and we are also wandering in this city. A city is for everyone. I hope that after the years have been ruined, we can still stick to this city."

The man picked up the corner of his mouth and gently tweaked the strings. Perhaps he felt that the tone was wrong. He put the guitar on his legs and adjusted it twice, aimed at the wheat rack, and sang softly with his vicissitudes of hoarse voice:

“He lives a nine to five life in this bustling city”

"There is no smile on the corner of his mouth and he has five alarm clocks for different times."

"She often puts beautiful bracelets behind her boss in this exaggerated city."

"Her face with a smile, her soul has long disappeared."

The singer suddenly stood up, without showing off his skills, and just tweaked the strings so hard, just like fate fiddling with our lives in a nearly crazy way, and he began to roar:

"He used to think that the future would be full of hope, once he said that he should stick to his ideals even when dreaming."

"But some people betrayed ** Some people betrayed their dreams"

"Some people lose their faith and some people are willing to be slutty"

""

"Where do people have any future?"

"Where do people have any future?"

"Where can people have anything to do later!!!"

Before the sound dissipated, the man put down his guitar, held the wheat stand, and gasped, "We have no future, because we are still wandering in this city. Some people have lost their dreams, some people have lost their faith, and some people have even lost their other half of their lives. We have no choice. If we talk too much, it is so fucking pretentious. Everyone eats and drinks well."

Until he got off the stage, I still couldn't get out of his story. The story of this song was about me, Tong Xue and I thought the future was full of hope, and I could give her a home in Beijing. As for dreaming, I had to stick to my ideals. I never said this, but I have always done this, but since that divorce case, I lost my ideals and chose money.

I betrayed my soul and faith. As for **, there is always one person between us who betrayed it.

After continuing a cigarette, I still couldn't wait for Lin Jiayi. I was anxious and took out my cell phone and called her.

"I'm at the door."

After the call, I looked at the door and she was thinner than before. Her head, which could have been bundled, turned into a neat shorter one. She was dressed very well and was no longer the punk girl.

female.

She still couldn't get out of her sadness, at least that's what her makeup today told me.

"Are you anxious?" Lin Jiayi found me soon.

"I just suddenly feel lonely and I need you to accompany me." I looked at her and said seriously.

"how?"

"Nothing, that feeling is inexplicable, it's much better now." I smiled and asked, "I'll treat you something."

"water."

"oh?"

"I've drunk too much, and I feel disgusted when I see that thing recently."

"All right."

I nodded, then went to the bar to ask for a bottle of beer and mineral water. After taking the things handed over by the bartender, I returned to our booth. She sat there, looking at the table that originally belonged to her, with a lady's cigarette between her fingers.

She is so distressing that I couldn't help but ask, "Don't you only smoke when you sing?"

Upon hearing this, Lin Jiayi turned her head, raised the corner of her mouth gently, and said self-deprecatingly: "Someone was in charge at that time, but now no one is nagging, so of course she will pick it up."

"You, Xiao An, will definitely not want to see you like this."

"You asked me out to teach me?" she asked me with her head tilted.

"It doesn't mean that." I shook my head and explained, "It's just a reminder from a friend's perspective."

"Ha, friend."

Lin Jiayi took a light puff of the cigarette, sprayed smoke at me, and said, "So, my friend, what's wrong with you asking me for it? Will you resume work?"

"Well, I know this is quite inhumane. I don't want to start work like this, but there are some things that I am not able to decide, and you can scold me if you want to beat me. If you want to beat me, I blame me for not taking on this job for you."

"Ha, you are kind, why do I blame you for doing?"

"If you feel that you are in a bad state now, I can communicate with you."

"You said it, it's not something you can decide."

With a bitter smile, I said, "I can discuss with Mr. Zhang that I'll tell her about your affairs, she said."

"What did you say in Chen Mo?" Lin Jiayi interrupted me and asked.

"I"

"Who asked you to excuse me in this way?" Lin Jia frowned and said in disappointment: "Any excuse is OK, but this one cannot. Don't you know this?"

"I know, but I'm a little bit dissatisfied. What should I say? Did you force you to shoot in those few days? Or would you ask for a penalty for liquidated contract?"

She still can't face reality, otherwise she wouldn't question me like this.

"What is my business? What does it have to do with you? Chen Mo, do you think you are doing this for my own good? Do I need me to thank you?"

""

"You're selfish, really selfish."

"Jiayi!"

Excited, I pressed her shoulder, "You should face the reality, Xiao An is gone, he doesn't want to see you like this, let alone I have never been selfish, I'm not for your own good, I just."

"What are you just?" Lin Jiayi stared into my eyes and said in a cold voice: "You are just to please your superiors, you are just to prove your own value. As for me, I can't use you to judge. I know this fact better than anyone else after that bastard left, so you don't need to remind me."

"sorry."

I let go of her shoulders, picked up the bottle and poured it down, and the beer melted into my stomach juice along my throat. "Please believe that the reason I did that is just that I don't want us to be cruel to you. When he left, he said that I would take care of you. I don't have many friends in Beijing. He is one. I can't go against my friend's wishes. In my eyes, you are still a child, a very pure girl. I don't want you to be unhappy, especially at this time. I'm really fucking unethical."

"Ha ha"

Lin Jiayi smiled, bent over and burst into tears.

"You bastard are like him. You always feel how much you know me. You always feel that you can't stand your own way without you. Bastards, they are all fucking bastards."

&1t;b

r    />"Come on."

"I'm very calm." She stopped laughing, "Tell me, when will I take a picture?"

"you"

"Don't look at me in such surprise. This is what I promised him. It has nothing to do with you. I didn't want to break my promise when I promised him to help you."

"Thanks."

In awe of shame, I lowered my head and didn't dare let her see my eyes. "Actually, what you said is right may be me who doesn't face the reality."

I am selfish, but I have found a noble excuse for my selfishness. I am also dirty. I am for her own good, but in fact, what I did brought her secondary harm.

No one wants others to excuse themselves with such excuses.

"Who can we truly face reality?" she murmured: "A person's life is like a bracket. The left is birth and the right is death. What we have to do is fill in the brackets and fill everything in this life. He left, but he couldn't take me away, and I stayed, nor could he leave him. This is reality."

After we decided on the corresponding matter, we waved goodbye. I returned to the cold and empty rental house alone, and I was constantly responding to what Lin Jiayi said in my mind, and then I was secretly annoyed.

I always feel that I am sincere, sincere to my friends, and sincere to myself, but today, when Lin Jiayi tore my disguise apart, I realized that I am just like others, very hypocritical.

I stood on the balcony, lit a cigarette for myself, and looked at the city of Beijing in the night. It was prosperous and unreasonable. People all said that this was a realistic city, but why do we hypocritical people live in this city?

Open the window, the wind coming in can make me wake up. I also need to contact Zhang Yao and tell her about Lin Jiayi’s news.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Zhang Yao's voice was a little tired.

"There is no problem with Kayi. You can start shooting anytime."

"Is she better?"

"It's not, but it shouldn't be delayed in starting work."
To be continued...