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Who am I, where am I, what I want to do is not a philosophical question, but a question I want to think about now. Loneliness will swallow me up. I don’t know where to go on this route of life.

If I were normal, now I would probably go into a bar in Houhai, then order a glass of Glenfidy, and admire the young and dancing bodies. Now I can't, so I'm about to pay the rent. The day before yesterday, the landlord started urging me to prepare, and she would come this weekend.

Pay one and pay three. This way of paying rent is like a sharp blade hanging above my head, reminding me all the time what the taste of money shortage is.

Go home?

I feel a little unwilling to do so. From the bottom of my heart, I hate the excitement, but now I need the excitement. Only by contacting people can I know that I am still alive, not a walking corpse who only breathes, but I am already lonely enough in my soul. I don’t want to be lonely, that’s the same as death.

Shaking my head, I lit a cigarette for myself, and stood at the intersection of Guomao, confused.

It felt bad, like a question that had to be made before me, going to the left, taking the upper and going home, going to the right, wandering aimlessly

After taking out a coin, I decided to force myself to choose in the most common way and throw it gently. The silver one-yuan coin was flashing with light under the neon light, and reached out to grab it. I put it in my pocket without looking at it. Because when it was spinning in the air, I knew the answer, the answer to what I was going to do.

Wrapped her collar tightly and walked on the streets of Guomao in the gradual north wind. She suddenly wanted to go to a place, a place that she hadn't been to in three years, four years ago, when she first arrived in Beijing, she went to the place she had been with her.

I don’t know why, I just wanted to go back and take a look. I don’t even know if the store is still there, or if the things we left behind are still there. The pace of life in this city is too fast, and God knows whether such a store can survive in the materialistic capital city.

"If it's gone, go home."

I said to myself, I followed the route I remembered, and walked there

Deep sea coffee.

It's still there!

It is still hiding on the corner of the street, rarely interested in it, and it is still the dim light, just like a small shop in the 1900s, a building that imitates red bricks, like the traces of light carved on people at the same time. It is still here and still incompatible with the entire street.

It should exist in the alleys of old Beijing, but it is just on the corner of the bustling Guomao Street.

When I opened the door, the wind chime hanging beside the door was driven to make a "ding dong, ding dong" sound. In this moment, I became quiet, quiet from the inside out. The room was warm and there was unknown country music. The boss and clerk were a woman in her thirties. Compared with four years ago, she had no changes. Time seemed to prefer her.

The black turtleneck sweater dripped her figure so exquisitely, with long shawls and crimson lips. At this time, she was quietly wiping the cup. There were not many people in the store, a couple, and a man in his thirties. They were all listening to music and occasionally taking a sip of coffee.

"Get a deep sea." After thinking about it, I added: "If it still exists."

After all, I haven’t been here for too long. The store has not changed, but the category is really too easy to change. If a store does not make enough work on the category, it is really easy to lose money.

She raised her head when she heard the sound, put her head in her hands, a hint of surprise flashed in her eyes, and she smiled and said, "It's always there."

"Sorry, I haven't been here for too long."

"It's great that it hasn't changed." I sighed.

"This city is too impetuous." She smiled, "Besides, I'm not opening a store for money, otherwise why would I charge five dollars for a cup of coffee?"

"Too."

Nodded, looking at the decoration in the house, and not to mention anything else, just buying a store in this area, the funds used were not something I could imagine.

I remember when I came here four years ago, we had just finished our day's work. Because we had paid, we decided to have a luxury and found this store. Before entering the door, I was ready for heavy bleeding. I told myself in my heart that I must let Tong Xue experience the life of a petty bourgeoisie in Beijing. As a result, two cups of coffee and one dessert were only thirty yuan, which was enough for us to be surprised for a long time.

In a flash, four years have passed, and she is no longer by my side.

Rather than saying that I came to drink coffee, I was here to miss the simple beauty of the first place.

The boss turned around and after a moment, the debugged coffee was handed to me. The coffee foam was like the sea during the tide, which was the color of the deep sea.

There was no sugar or milk added, but just brewed freshly ground coffee beans. Holding it, I found a seat by the window and sat down, taking a sip, slightly bitter and warm, the most primitive coffee taste instantly occupied the taste buds, and the taste did not change.

It's still the taste in memory, but it's no longer sweet.

How many joys and sorrows have been recorded in this location in four years? The figures of copywriting are tirelessly rushing to write, the pedestrians who are in a depressed mood after work, the tired tourists who are wandering and sitting opposite each other, the speechless but sweet young couple.

Frustrated, proud, numb, cold, and too much warmth all melted into this deep sea.

Close your eyes, those clips were staged in front of me like films, and I seemed to have found the answer

After the remaining half of the cup of coffee, I got up, and walked to the bar and asked, "Sister, is the mailbox for the future still there?"

"Well, you want to leave a message?"

"No, I want to get a letter." After hesitating for a moment, he finally spoke: "I want to see us at that time."

She put down the cup in her hand and asked, "Which year is there, there are a lot of grids."

"Four years ago, October 30th."

"Remember it very clearly."

""

I suddenly came back to my senses, yes, how could I remember so clearly?

"That day was the day when I made my first pot of gold." After thinking about it, I found such a vulgar excuse.

Actually that day was my love anniversary with Tong Xue

She turned around, opened the cabinet next to her, and handed me the entire grid from the lattice on the left: "It was all here that day."

"Thanks."

After a glance, we immediately found the letter that belonged to us because of her handwriting.

"Can I take it?"

"Yes, just don't get it wrong."

“No.”

I smiled faintly, turned around and waved my hand, and I left here.

Why should we stay in our memories and suffer?

Stop at the door, looked at the name of the store, and whispered to himself: "I won't come here again in the future. Goodbye, Deep Sea Coffee."
Chapter completed!