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This is true for some people. As long as they appear in front of you, they only need a simple look and a very dull word, which will expose all the barriers you have built for your heart.

Zhang Yao is now, to me, such a person.

I can't be calm at this moment, and I can't speak to her in an orderly manner in such a situation.

Love is not a lawsuit, there are not so many reasons for people to talk about. At this time, I am just a man who was abandoned by my beloved woman. I keep me calm, but I can't do it... By the heart, few people can do it.

Because I am a human, flesh and blood, my own thinking, and emotions. I am not a cold machine. Everything can only be turned into a machine after it is contained.

My voice was sharp and weird, like a stray dog ​​who was forced into a corner and was about to try his best.

In front of her, I was indeed a stray dog.

Zhang Yao's brows did not stretch, she still looked at me like this, with a little disappointment in her eyes and a feeling of feeling that I don't know if it's heartache. She sighed softly and asked me:

"It's not difficult to find a job in this city, but it's not difficult for you to survive here... But Chen Mo, have you ever thought about how long you have been struggling to survive in Beijing?"

I stretched out five fingers, curled my lips with a self-deprecating voice, and replied, "This is the fifth year. I know you look down on me, so I will get out by myself."

"Chen Mo!"

"What's wrong? Isn't what I'm saying a fact?"

"The fact is that you want to leave Beijing as a loser and return to your hometown in shame?"

Zhang Yao's teasing tone once again hurt my self-esteem.

I wanted to speak out and refute, to maintain these remaining things that belong to me to a certain extent, but I have no reason to stand firm, because the facts are right in front of me, and no matter how noisy I make, it will not change at all.

Women, after returning from sensibility to rationality, are mostly cold-blooded.

I took out a cigarette from the cigarette box and lit it for myself, and looked at her without saying a word.

Gradually, a thin layer of smoke surrounded my eyes, which was my purpose, because I dare not look at her eyes... Her calm eyes were like a mirror, which could reflect the mirror deep in my soul.

......

When the cigarette between my fingers reached two-thirds, I finally comforted my emotions and spoke to her:

"There are so many people in the world, and the success is only a minority. Why can't I be the same as most people?" I smiled and continued, "What's wrong with my hometown? Without a fast-paced life like Beijing, there is only a few thousand yuan a month. At that time, I can afford a house that is not big or small, marry a girl I don't like but don't hate, and then we have a fat boy... I think this kind of life is suitable for me, and it's also what my parents hope to see."

"Instead of not seeing the future like now, like rootless duckweed, and not seeing the future... I always worry that one day I will be swallowed up by this city."

Things in the world are impermanent and helpless.

I lie with a smile, which protected my self-esteem and stinged her heart.

Zhang Yao turned her head slightly and looked at me with a complicated expression, "Chen Mo, are you such people?"

"Or who am I?" I shrugged and asked back to her.

"Okay...even if you are such a man, I still have to ask you, what kind of people are those who are really here to say that life is dull?"

"Ha, what kind of people can they be? Do they know the suffering of ordinary people? Do they know how many ordinary people want to live their lives? Some successful people who have come here are just complaining without any illness."

"So you know it too."

"What do you don't know?"

I sucked all my last cigarette, threw the cigarette butt on the ground and stomped it out, and said, "No man does not need the power of heaven and earth. Everyone wants to prove himself. In the end, only a small number of people can prove himself... Ask yourself, I don't want to be the majority, but I have to be one of the majority."

"Chen Mo...I'm sorry, I don't know that I will make you fall into a slump, I..."

"What does it have to do with you?" I interrupted Zhang Yao and said with a little teasing: "If it has something to do with you, I can only thank you. Thank you for letting me realize the reality and letting me see clearly what I have nothing."

At this moment, I felt a sense of pleasure after revenge, because I saw the change in her expression. This woman who always looks calm and unsightly when she was forced to take off her mask, she looked so beautiful, and even her frown was so charming.

I don't know whether to be happy or sad about having her.

It doesn't matter anymore. Even if I want to rush up and hug her and tell her that as long as I give me time, I will definitely prove it to her. I, Chen Mo, are not a useless man, have ordinary things, not what I want.

But I know that those words are not something I can do easily; just as I promised her to quit smoking, she will smoke unscrupulously in front of her at this moment... Some things can be solved by not just love.

Living in this real world and in this glitzy city, I lost myself and began to face this woman who wanted to pull me out of the way with silence.

"I know I can't make any requests to you now... Similarly, I can tell you clearly that I'm asking someone to introduce you to your job, but I want you to live in this city instead of living."

Zhang Yao paused and continued, "I remember telling you that the things I do now are not what I want to do. My original wish was nothing more than to be a teacher to teach and educate people, or learn architectural design... Nowadays, these are things I am forced to accept. There are few moments when people get what they want. What it gives people is forbidden to accept."

"Then what?"

I grinned and looked at Zhang Yao with mockery. Even though my heart was full of holes, even though... I still wanted to be by her side and help her overcome the difficulties.

However, no matter how much you love someone, you cannot be entangled after separation because dignity does not allow it.

I've trampled on it, and now I'm going to pick it up again.

Because I am Chen Mo, I should say so much, but I am better than silent Chen Mo.
Chapter completed!