"Go and prepare."

"Yes, Vice President."

After Assistant Lin left, Wang Taika sat on the chair, staring at the view outside the window in a daze. He had some thoughts in his mind, but he didn't know why, but he disappeared little by little. Then some messy fragments appeared in his mind. His mood slowly became stable again, and even a little bad.

Happiness is fleeting, and depression comes suddenly.

Wang Taika felt that her bipolar disorder reaction was back.

It’s not that I suddenly went crazy, but... I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt an unrealistic feeling. It seems that the beauty I have now is fleeting.

This feeling of worrying about gains and losses is actually quite bad. Just like the girl who doesn't believe that she can get happiness, Wang Taika always subconsciously feels that the happiness she has is short-lived.

Especially after being with Chong'er, this feeling became very serious. When he was with Chong'er, it was really uncomfortable for the two of them to sleep together.

Wang Taika often wakes up in the middle of the night, and then finds that there is such a person next to him at such a close distance. He just closes to him, leans against him, wraps his hands around his arms, or holds his body.

Wang Taika often wakes up in his dreams and then enters a defensive posture of fear. That is a habit left behind in the wild shooting, because you don’t know what terrible beast is next to the tent when you wake up. At the beginning, Wang Taika even put a saber under the pillow. Later, he changed this habit. However, this extreme lack of security is difficult to relieve in a short period of time.

So most of the time, Chong'er hugged Wang Taika, because Wang Taika always curled up and fell asleep beside him, which is a manifestation of the lack of security.

Until now, Wang Taika has gradually gotten used to sleeping next to him. If Chong'er is gone, Wang Taika is half asleep and half awake at night. He suddenly turns his head and wonders why there is no gentle existence by his side. Then he puts his hand around and grops for a while and finds it empty? There is only a large cold area. I remember that he is alone, and at that moment, his mood suddenly becomes unstable? A lonely place.

This love makes people feel satisfied and often worry. The more you experience the ups and downs, the more you know that the promised vows do nothing at all. When you think of the impermanence of the future, even if you are a psychopath like Wang Taika? Sometimes you will feel afraid. Will a corner of your life be missing?

Will this feeling make people weird? Just like Wang Taika was a little happy because of Assistant Lin’s arrangement just now? The next moment I remembered the loneliness after returning home, and it became empty in an instant.

What’s ridiculous is that the first thought that popped up in Wang Taika’s mind was not how to consolidate this relationship? But suddenly I thought of it? Maybe they’re separated?

Just like the fable that he and Chong'er have been telling, the rabbit who watched the moon eventually gave up ownership of the moon? Without possessiveness, there would be no obsession.

At this moment? Wang Taika was sure that he was indeed abnormal. Even if his bipolar disorder was basically cured, but his thoughts that had been destroyed could not look at many things like normal people.

Maybe it’s because of the lack of interpersonal communication? I’m too lonely, so I feel a little bit neglected and think about leaving the other person.

But think about it again, there is more than just Wang Taika in this world who has such an idea?

If you are a little haunted by loneliness, you will think of leaving decisively. However, most people don’t have the courage, but they must have such thoughts in their hearts, and they will never leave at most.

At this moment, Wang Taika was extremely normal again. Because there would be no normal person in love. This possessiveness is so unreal.

Thinking about Chong'er, Wang Taika softened his heart because Chong'er could be trusted. However, the feeling of not being able to see him was too difficult, so he suddenly felt afraid that he could not quit.

This is Wang Taika, who likes to stop loss and likes to quit love.

Wang Taika is very afraid of what he is addicted to. Once he realizes that he seems to be trapped in, what kind of person, what kind of hobbies, or what kind of feelings, he will feel like he is about to fall into it. He will make a big alarm before he falls into it, and then stop the loss in advance and quit this liking. Keep yourself silly and not be affected by anything.

The way to keep yourself calm forever is to never get caught in anything and stand in a sidelined position.

At this moment, Wang Taika's random thoughts and sudden thoughts of breaking up are all self-warning.

Because Chong'er has become more important little by little, so important that it can affect Wang Taika's mood and thoughts. He will not be able to quit immediately, nor can he give up.

It's so ridiculous. Love makes Wang Taika obsessed with it, but reason makes Wang Taika let it go quickly. There are two voices in Wang Taika's mind, the division of sensibility and rationality seems to have begun again at this moment.

And the direct reaction of this contradiction is... Wang Taika had an urge to give up on himself. At most, he could renew his relationship with Pani, stay in a state of gloom with Nuna, pay off his debts well for Na'en, and even contact more people. As long as he pays more feelings and does not put the eggs in a basket, there will be no more worrying thoughts about gains and losses, because he has already gained a lot and is not afraid of losing them.

Crazy! Crazy!

Wang Taika has asked questions countless times, and even shouted at Nuna on the night of Hokkaido. Why can’t I have the beauty of this world alone?

And this is Wang Taika's heart. When did he be a good man and a trustworthy woman? He has always been greedy and selfish. What he imagines deep in his heart is to have everything. It is just that his relationship with Chong'er made him feel that he wanted to treat it well, so he broke off all the ambiguity and was well with Chong'er.

But the country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to change. Wang Taika's nature is greedy and above. Even if he really wants to treat Chong'er well and only loves one person in his life, how can the greed of his nature remain silent? Wang Taika can suppress it for a while, but not for a lifetime.

"I see......"

Wang Taika understood why he suddenly felt like this, because he was so unwilling to accept it. It was not because he was dissatisfied, but because he was too greedy.

Why can’t you have all the beauty in this world?

Anyone who says this sentence will be regarded as a lunatic. Wang Taika also feels crazy and will be dominated by such thoughts. But in fact, Wang Taika cannot control his true heart.

What happens when your original desires and existing morals, laws, rules, and customs in this world are all opposite?

At this moment, Wang Taika suddenly realized a psychological problem. This problem has troubled Wang Taika for many years, that is, what is the most terrifying, most harmful and extremely dangerous antisocial personality in mental illness.

At this moment, Wang Taika seemed to understand. This was probably the conflict between the original heart and the outside world, which created the devil.

So, is there such a big conflict for a person like Wang Taika, who lives in modern society but has a lot of whimsical thoughts?

Wang Taika, who used to be aware of loving only one person in his life, only after ending his ignorant first love, he experienced too much suffering. Wang Taika learned from it that he faced darkness without fear of darkness, but at the same time he also had extremely eager expectations and possessiveness for beautiful things.

The people Wang Taika met may have some flaws, but each has its own shining points and unique features.

Chong'er's gentleness, Ji'en-chan's stinginess, Nuna's stubborn temper, Pani's enthusiasm, and... many more. These are unique, and their own beauty all represent hope.

So Wang Taika wanted to occupy all these beautiful hopes. This is why he had such greedy thoughts in his mind.

But this idea is destined to violate the fairness and good customs of modern society, the moral system of this society, and the concept of marriage in this world. So should we give up or go against the current?

I have to say that no one in this world can say such a thing so reasonable, and even come up with a theoretical system to fully and reasonably answer the necessity of opening a harem. Only Wang Taika can do such things!

But in fact, these are not nonsense. Wang Taika is no longer a person surrounded by existing vision and rules. He can see through these and understand the truth. However, these truths are really shocking and only effective for Wang Taika.

After all, Wang Taika is also a reasonable person. Even such things will not only be a hypocritical so-called liking, but will create a theoretical system to support it.

But the more this happens, the more painful Wang Taika feels. He really wants to live a good life with Chong'er, but he can't suppress his heart's yearning for all the beauty.

In fact, 99% of people in this world do not have the qualifications to be willful.

Things in the world are impermanent, and some endings can be changed, but they will be bruised and even half-dead. Therefore, for ordinary people who are unarmed, they cannot be gambled at all. The ending is either fixed, but in essence it is fixed.

There is no way to go, so they say that the reluctance to separate is regret, useless efforts as hard work, and the unchangeable future is destined.

But this is not because they are weak, but because they are really powerless. So they can only say that they are trying their best and destiny.

Many people cannot grasp the beauty of this world, so they have to pretend that everything goes well. Then they comfort themselves: Returning you to the sea of ​​people is to be sober and conscious.

But there are people in this world who are stubborn, who don’t like the spring breeze, who don’t bother with the summer cicadas, who don’t feel sad when the autumn breeze, who don’t sigh when the winter snow, who don’t see the wealth and honor, who don’t dare to face the unfairness. Facing darkness, you are not afraid of darkness.
Chapter completed!