Why do you treat me like this? Why do you have to mess with me for everything? I can live to this day, don’t I deserve to die? Why do you all have to deal with me! Why on earth? I want to yell loudly, I even I want to fight to the death with the pair of red eyes, but I can't, I don't know where it is, it seems to be born from the bottom of my heart, peeping at me tightly, it doesn't move, it just looks at me like this , watching me trembling with fear, it was laughing, it was laughing crazily, I was like a clown played by fate, being tossed around and being laughed at.
For the first time, I felt that I was so fragile. I was really tired. I am also a human being. Even if I am a man, I will be tired sometimes. How I wish I could live an ordinary life, even if I am just As an orphan, even if I don't have a lot of knowledge, even if I am just a person at the bottom of society, I can do it. But can I? I can't!
I didn't want to cry, but the tears still fell. No one knew that as calm as I was, there was so much fear in my heart. I became more and more confused. Is my resistance so much in vain? Why should I persist in living? Now, if I go to the underworld and be reincarnated early in the morning, maybe I can be an ignorant but happy person.
After resisting for so many years, when I suddenly felt that all resistance was in vain, I completely collapsed and tears rolled down. Come on, come on if you can, kill me! Damn it! I really don’t want to live anymore!
Mo Yibai paused in front of me, hesitantly stretched out his hand to pat my shoulder, stared at me closely for a long time and then said, "You can't die."
I collapsed on the ground and sneered, I didn't die when I deserved to die, but I couldn't even die when I wanted to die? How pathetic am I?
"Stop pretending to be a good person in front of me. You all grit your teeth and say nothing. I am the only one who is kept in the dark. Do you still want to pretend to be a good person in front of me? Why can't I die? Why should I listen? It's yours! I'm going to die, who can stop me!" Anger rushed into my heart, I yelled at Mo Yibai, and pushed away Mo Yibai, who was defenseless in front of me, "Get out of here, everyone! Get out of here!"
Mo Yibai fell to the ground, and his body was cut with many wounds by the glass fragments on the ground. A lot of blood suddenly flowed out. A cold smile appeared on the corner of my mouth, but the tears still flowed down uncontrollably.
Hua Bubai was also alarmed by me. He grabbed his whip and asked with a confused look what was wrong, what and who!
Then I hurriedly helped Mo Yibai up on the ground and then came to help me, but was pulled out by Mo Yibai. Mo Yibai said: "Just be quiet first!"
Hua Bubai and Mo Yibai went out, and I sat on the ground alone, feeling cold all over.
When Black and White Wuchang came, he saw the worry on my face and asked me how I was doing.
I looked at Black and White and sneered, "You guys are here, seducing my soul. I won't resist this time. Take me to see the King of Hell. I am no longer a human being. I am no longer a fucking human being! What kind of tomb of gods? What?" Gold, silver, jewels, those who rule the world, go to hell with them. I don’t want any of them. Even if I can be a fucking turtle, it’s better than being this person! I won’t fucking do the deal with the Lord of Hell, either. Let me go, it doesn’t matter if I go to the eighteenth level of hell!”
"Master Xiaolong, please don't do this. Brother, we are not here to take your life! The Lord of Hell asked us to take care of you. The treasure fighting conference is about to begin. The method to get to the Tomb of the Immortals should also be revealed. The Lord of Hell asked us to take care of you."
Are you ready?"
"Go to hell with the King of Hell! I won't work for him anymore! Whoever wants to take the things he wants will take them. I'm going to die! What do I want with my life? Waiting to turn into a monster?"
"Xiao, Mr. Xiao Long, are you okay?" Bai Wuchang asked worriedly.
"Me? Do you think I'm good? Do you think I can be good?" I yelled hysterically.
Black and White Wuchang was startled, took a few steps back, and suddenly disappeared, leaving only a sentence floating in the air, "Master Xiaolong, we have brought the words of Lord Yama, so we will take the first step."
!”
"Go away, there is no good thing. I gave you life, but you still don't want it!" I snorted and stood up from the ground, my head was at a loss. Where should I go? Should I live, or should I die?
I never knew that such a day would come to me. I always felt that my destiny was in my own hands. I always felt that as long as I didn’t want to die, even the Lord of Hell could do nothing to me! But, it was wrong, everything was wrong.
! Even if I don’t die, so what, am I waiting to become a monster, am I waiting to let those red eyes devour me?
The future is uncertain. I just feel that I am so insignificant. The ever-changing hands of fate have cut me into pieces. I don’t understand why I am living so desperately and for what purpose.
I stood up and walked out the door in a daze. Hua Bubai looked at me worriedly and asked me if I was okay.
I ignored it and walked straight out the door. I didn’t want to care about anything. Why should I care about so many things? Why should everything involve me? I couldn’t just be an ordinary person.
Human? I sneered, I knew I was a little broken, I was a little hysterical, but I couldn't calm myself down, I couldn't make myself rational.
As long as I think of those red eyes staring at me, as long as I think of the scales on my back, as long as I think of that dream, I feel frightened, I can no longer rationalize, I am on the verge of collapse, I even
Yu wanted to commit suicide by wiping his neck. He died a hundred times.
It's just that my heart doesn't allow me to do this. I know that it's not me who is so weak, but I am unable to fight anymore. It's like you are in the deep sea with no end in sight. In the endless deep sea, you don't know where to go.
When you have to reach the shore, you can't see a shred of hope, and all you see is the most terrifying solution, you will lose the courage to try again.
I knew I needed to vent, vent hard, otherwise I would go crazy. I rushed to the door and reached out to open the door, but Hua Bubai stopped me and called out, "Where are you going? The treasure fighting conference is about to start!"
"Fuck you, I'm not interested in it now!" I yelled coldly, opened the door, and rushed out. I wanted to be alone for a while.
"Master Xiao Long!" Hua Bubai's voice came from behind, with a little worry.
I ran like crazy, bare-chested, just running like crazy. I sneered and roared, and the people around me looked at me in surprise. Look, look at me, look at how weird I am, look at
I am a freak, look at the scales on my back, look at the golden dragon on my shoulders, look at Long Zuimeng, a lunatic at the mercy of fate.
I ran hysterically, the summer madness burned my body, and my tears continued to fall uncontrollably. I never knew that I was so fragile. I thought that, like the King of Hell,
If I dare to fight, I am already invincible in the world, and I am already looking at life and death, but I still cannot see through the consequences that I will bear.
I don’t know how long I ran, but my legs were numb. I felt as if my whole body had turned into a lead mass. I no longer had the strength to run. I stood on the bank of the Qiantang River, with the hot river wind blowing towards me.
I yelled towards the Qiantang River, "Why are you doing this to me! Why are you letting me fall into confusion? Why on earth?"
I collapsed slumped on the cement dam by the river, looking at the rolling waves in the Qiantang River. It was so majestic, like a strong army galloping in, and the turbid muddy water slapped the cement dam by the river.
, the smell of muddy muddy water with a fishy smell filled my nostrils.
"Young man, is there anything you don't understand?" came a voice, a hoarse, elderly voice.
"I can't understand, I can't understand anything!" I murmured as I looked at the river.
"It's only if you don't understand it. If you understand it all, life will be meaningless!" The voice continued, "Life is the one who explores and moves forward step by step. Don't feel like you are walking step by step towards an unknown future.
, is it a very interesting thing?”
"Is it meaningful? If predicting your own future is something that is difficult for you to accept, can it still be interesting? If you know that the future will be more miserable than death, what else will you do in the future?" I turned my head.
I looked at the person sitting next to me with a wry smile.
It was an elderly man with gray hair and a wrinkled face. He was wearing a Taoist robe and had a long beard. His hair looked like the Taoist priests on TV. The old man touched his beard and held a white whisk in his hand.
fiddling with it.
I laughed at myself in my heart, damn it, I don’t even want to live anymore, here comes this old man who is pretending to be a ghost. What a blind old man. He knew I was penniless just by looking at me, yet he still wanted to come here.
Cheating money.
"You can't kill everything with one stroke. Young man, be calm. You still have a long way to go, and your life is still tough!" The old man said, "The future is unknown. Do you think you can predict it? Maybe you feel very sad today.
It's tragic. Tomorrow you will find that your destiny has improved. People who have been beggars can become emperors, and those who have been emperors can become beggars. Life is like this, with ups and downs. It depends on how you take it!"
I glanced at the old man. If it were in the past, I would definitely think that what the old man said was very reasonable and I would give him a few big bills. But, how can I still listen to these bullshit remarks? Who can make sense*
**I don’t know how to talk about it. You have never experienced it. Of course you are clear-headed. I want to put this matter on you. If you can’t be anxious, I can call you my ancestor!
"Young man, everything is destined. Don't be anxious, don't be anxious!" the old man said calmly, "You have to do it step by step!"
I didn't say anything, just looked at the river. After the water was churned, it was just turbid in color, which made people feel sick. The smell blown up by the wind was also unpleasant, with a rotten smell, which made people feel sick to their stomachs.