"Do I believe it?" Wang Luoshan smiled self-deprecatingly, "Do you think I should believe you?"
It has been almost a month since I met Mu Feng. This month has changed a lot for Wang Luoshan, from a single golden person to a married woman now. Looking back on all this, it seems like I am dreaming, but it is so real.
She has always been used to being alone, and suddenly broke into a strange man in her life, which made her life full of resentment and more fun.
Although Wang Luoshan is not interested in Mu Feng now, I have to admit that I have gradually gotten used to this man being by my side. Even if I feel unhappy when I see him, it is a pleasure to lose my temper with him.
She is a woman and wants to be spoiled, and Wang Luoshan is no exception. Every time she is gentlely called as her wife by Mu Feng, she feels more or less satisfied. Every time she sees Mu Feng's aggrieved and timid appearance, she feels funny and happy again.
She knew that all this was done by this man on purpose, and she couldn't figure out why he did it because of love? No, it was absolutely impossible. There was no such thing between the two, at least not now.
"Mu Feng, do you think you love me?" Wang Luoshan looked at him calmly.
"I don't know." Mu Feng shook his head and replied without considering it.
"Yes, you don't know, because you don't know what love is. All you know is hurt, hurting the people around you, but the funny thing is that you haven't realized this yet." Wang Luoshan sighed, his eyes full of jokes, because she was one of them.
Mu Fengmoran, is this really the case? He has never thought about this question.
It hurt Wang Luoshan, maybe it was a foregone conclusion since the night of meeting.
Usually Mu Feng tried his best to please Wang Luoshan. Although he almost made the other party angry to death every time, that was not his original intention. Sometimes he himself couldn't understand whether he started to fall in love with this woman or to make up for the mistakes he made.
People will be confused and distressed by many things, just depending on whether you are willing to think about it or leave it aside.
Mu Feng sighed, took out a cigarette and lit it, took a slight sip, his expression seemed a little strange, and Wang Luoshan just frowned slightly this time, and did not take off his cigarette as usual.
"You are right. Maybe I am such a person. I have completely ignored the feelings of the people around me. I have hurt them." Mu Feng pinched off the cigarette, and now he didn't even feel like smoking. He looked directly at Wang Luoshan, "I know, you are the one who hurt the most."
"That's right, from the first time I saw you in the bar, I secretly swore that I must deal with this woman until the three of them appeared, saw you being dragged out, drugged, and almost given to xx by the three of them. All of these were seen until I appeared at the last moment to scare them away."
After a pause, Mu Feng said again, "You were already confused at that time, but I took the opportunity to possess you. Speaking of which, there is no difference between me and those three, or worse, and not human."
Wang Luoshan listened quietly, without getting angry or expressionless.
Mu Feng smiled faintly, "In the next few days, I was frightened and worried that you would come to cause trouble for me, because I could see that you are not an ordinary woman. If you were not in a very bad mood, you would never choose to drink in a place like a bar. Until you really appeared later, we both got married in a confused manner."
"I wish I could kill you!" Wang Luoshan said with his teeth biting his lips.
"Maybe, you really should have made that choice." Mu Feng said melancholy.
"you···"
"Do you know? I never thought about getting married in my life because I am not worthy of having a marriage. My hands are covered with blood. I am afraid, and I dare not really love a woman. I am afraid that I will be hurt because of me." Mu Feng said to himself.
Wang Luoshan's eyes shone for a moment. She had already felt this. It was because of Mu Feng that he was implicated because of him.[
"I don't know what feelings are, because I have never experienced what feelings, family affection, affection, love, let alone love. These things are very strange to me. I don't know whether to touch it, or how to touch it in a way."
At this moment, Mu Feng's expression fell down.
Wang Luoshan didn't say anything. Everyone has their own unsatisfactory side. For example, she has lost her maternal love since she was a child. So far, if she hadn't had a photo of her mother, she wouldn't have remembered what her mother looked like.
And what about Mu Feng, why is he like this? Is it related to his past? What kind of past does he have? Why is he so cruel? Is life worthless in his eyes?
Suddenly, Wang Luoshan suddenly wanted to fully understand this man and his past.
"From childhood to adulthood, I only have one thought in my mind, which is to live. In order to survive, I must learn to kill people. Only killing people can have the qualifications to make me live. Although I don't want to do that in my heart, I have to make that choice."
"I remember when I first killed someone, I vomited for three days and had nightmares for three days, and my mind was covered in blood. Do you know how old I was? I was only seven years old."
"I don't want to live that kind of life, I don't want to kill people. In order to get rid of it, I even thought about suicide. Although I didn't succeed, can you imagine how terrifying it is to have a child who is only a few years old to have suicide thoughts? No! You can't understand it." Mu Feng shook his head and said.
"Until later someone told me that if I live, human life will only be once, and living is the best, even if you live in an environment that has suffered all the torture."
"Since then, I learned to be strong and endure, and gradually had the idea of survival and the desire to live. For a steamed bun, I dared to kill people, and for a drop of water, I dared to kill people, because I only have one life, and I don't want to die, so others will die."
Mu Feng's eyes were blurred, tears flashed in his eyes, and he fell into memories, and his whole body trembled again and again after time.
Wang Luoshan saw all this. She didn't know what to say, whether to continue to hate this man or to comfort him. She knew that this man was not as lustful as usual, nor was he as cruel as he was when he was murdered, and had a side that she didn't know.
"Kill people, kill them and become numb. In my eyes, those targets that were killed gradually became real targets, not just one person. I only know that I will kill him and complete the task and leave. I will not consider whether he has family or lover."
"I remember in Africa, we had a group of seven people and killed all the militants of more than 400 people until the last one fell down. I didn't blink, didn't hesitate, and didn't feel regretful, because in my eyes they were just targets, not people."
"But it's very tiring to live like this, really tiring! I didn't wake up until the man who once asked me to live was dead. There is another thing about human beings, that is, feelings. I suddenly realized that I am a person, a living person, not a murderous machine."
"From then on, I wanted to get rid of that kind of life, the person who controls me, and I wanted to avenge the person who asked me to live. For this, I started killing again, and I stopped until I killed all those people. When I calmed down, I suddenly felt a sense of pleasure and sadness. At this moment, I finally confirmed that I was a person with feelings."