Qin Rushuang lay undressed on the dragon bed. After waiting for a while, she saw no movement from Xie Xun. She turned her head and looked, using the light of the red candle, to see Xie Xun silently sitting on the edge of the bed, with his head lowered and saying a word.
Not sent.
Qin Rushuang was lying on her back, and from her angle she could only see the back of Xie Xun sitting down.
For some reason, his back looked a little lonely, like a big dog that had been abandoned by its owner.
Qin Rushuang could guess some of the reasons why he was so depressed, but she didn't want to say it clearly.
For Qin Rushuang, she could try to live with Xie Xun, or she could promise Xie Xun to marry him again, but she really didn't want to force herself any more, such as pretending to be surprised.
But at this moment, where Qin Rushuang couldn't see, Xie Xun clenched his hands, put his fists on his knees, and sat beside the bed with his golden sword.
His back was turned to Qin Rushuang, and under the long candlelight, his eyes were painful and confused.
Yes, he felt confused.
In the court, no matter how difficult the matter, he can find flaws and room for maneuver; on the battlefield, no matter how critical the situation, he can seize the opportunity to turn defeat into victory, but only in the matter between him and Qin Rushuang
, he couldn't find a way.
Qin Rushuang's cold behavior today made him feel even more at a loss.
It was as if all his roads were blocked, leaving only a heart that was already riddled with holes but was already calm. No matter how hard he covered it, he couldn't keep it warm.
He didn't know what to do.
Qin Rushuang, who was lying flat on the bed, didn't wait for Xie Xun's move. The condensed atmosphere between the two made her sit up again.
She leaned weakly on the bed and looked at Xie Xun who was silent.
"My lord, are you disappointed? I'm disappointed that I'm not as happy as you expected."
Xie Xun suddenly looked back.
He stared at Qin Rushuang's stunning face under the candlelight and said slowly: "No, I'm not disappointed, I'm... I don't know what to do."
Qin Rushuang did not miss the flash of confusion in his eyes.
Qin Rushuang raised her hand and wanted to pat his bent back. In the end, she stopped less than a palm away and hung down.
Qin Rushuang changed her question.
"Do you want my love? Do you want me to love you like I used to?"
Xie Xun's eyes lit up, and he looked straight at Qin Rushuang, his tone a little excited, "Of course! I lost you, of course I want to find you."
Qin Rushuang lowered her eyes and whispered, "It's impossible."
"What?"
Qin Rushuang raised her head and looked at him firmly: "I said, it's impossible."
The light in Xie Xun's eyes dimmed little by little.
He was silent for a while, then tried hard to collect his emotions, and looked up again: "It doesn't matter, I know you can't forgive me now, but I will try my best to make up for my past mistakes. It was all my fault in the past, I..."
"No, it's not your problem." Qin Rushuang interrupted him.
"What do you mean?"
Qin Rushuang lowered her head, stroking the brocade quilt embroidered with dragon patterns with her slender fingers, and whispered: "I don't want to lie to you. My love, my love for you, has already faded away little by little in the past time.
It’s all gone. I don’t deny my hatred for you, nor do I reject your overtures to me now. Maybe one day, I will fall in love with you again, but the hot and loyal love I once gave you cannot be
There will be a second one.”
She raised her head again, and this time she finally said seriously to Xie Xun: "I don't want to lie to you. I want to tell you that even if you are so good to me now, even if I really fall in love with you again in the future, my love for you will never be the same.
Perhaps it is more out of the responsibility of a wife and mother, and out of consideration for the future and the family. This love is a compromised love, and it is also a love mixed with other things."
Qin Rushuang pursed her lips and asked tentatively, "Would you mind?"
Before today, Xie Xun thought about thousands of possibilities for the future of the two people, but he did not expect that Qin Rushuang would analyze her thoughts in front of him.
It would be a lie to say I'm not disappointed.
Anyone who has ever received such hot and loyal love from someone, who has rushed to you like a moth to a flame, and received that kind of love, any other love after that will seem to be insufficient.
But he also knew that these were all sins he had done before.
He had lost that passionate feeling, and now he was still trying to find it again.
Many thoughts ran through Xie Xun's mind, and he thought silently for so long that Qin Rushuang beside him became a little uneasy.
It's not that Qin Rushuang has never thought about pretending to love him, but she really can't go back to the feeling she once had.
What she said today was actually a bit impulsive, Wang Jun, but she still said it.
In the silence, Qin Rushuang thought Xie Xun would not answer this question again, but Xie Xun suddenly stood up.
He found an angle again and lay down halfway on the bed.
He rested on Qin Rushuang's legs and looked straight at Qin Rushuang with a bottom-up gaze.
"Then will you leave me in the future?"
"Huh?" Qin Rushuang didn't realize what he was talking about for a moment.
"I mean, if I can accept that we can never go back to the past, but can be together in another way of love, will you promise to never leave me?"
Qin Rushuang was stunned.
She hesitated for a moment before replying: "If you hadn't done anything to hurt the people I care about, I wouldn't have left you for no reason."
Upon hearing this, Xie Xun suddenly turned over and buried his face in the quilt.
"I won't regret it." His voice came muffled through the quilt.
"As long as you stay by my side, whether you give me love, hate, or family affection mixed with responsibilities and interests, I am willing to accept it all."
"As long as you don't leave me."
"Please don't leave me..."
Qin Rushuang raised her hand, and this time it finally fell on Xie Xun's hair.
Xie Xun is a man with a very tough temper, resolute and resolute character, but on the contrary, he has very soft long hair.
Smooth hair flows through Qin Rushuang's fingertips.
"Then let's go on together, take it one step at a time, and leave the future to the future."
"Um."
Qin Rushuang patted his back gently and said, "Still not getting up? It's time to rest."
Xie Xun made no move, still lying on the brocade quilt, and said slowly: "Wait a moment."
After another moment, he raised his head again.
It's just that all the emotions have been hidden in his eyes at this time.
Qin Rushuang bit her lip and reached out to uncover her inner clothes, but Xie Xun took her hand first.
"It doesn't have to be like this."
"But……"
"At least I won't force you until you see the emotion in your eyes that I think is strong enough."
After he finished speaking, he lay down aside.
Qin Rushuang was stunned for a while, and then she was about to lie down, but when her hand was inadvertently brushed against the quilt, she felt some slight moisture on her fingertips.
She took a closer look and saw that where Xie Xun had just lay down, there was a small patch of bright red brocade quilt that was different from the color next to it and was a little darker.
There seems to be some water damage.
Xie Xun, he actually...
Did you cry...
A night of silence.
Early the next morning, when Qin Rushuang woke up, Xie Xun had already left.
The little palace maid on the side stood with her eyes lowered, seeing that she had woken up, and helped her bathe and change clothes.
Just after I finished washing and dressing up, I heard the sound of green branches outside.
Qin Rushuang asked her servants to help Qingzhi in, but Qingzhi actually had a bowl of porridge in her hand.
Qin Rushuang lowered her head and looked a little dumbfounded.
"I've already given birth to a baby, why are you serving me red bean porridge?"
Qingzhi said seriously: "Of course I do. You and the prince share your feelings. Yesterday was your wedding, so you should have a bowl of red bean porridge."
Qin Rushuang didn't tell Qingzhi that nothing happened between them last night. She couldn't resist Qingzhi, so she finished the bowl of sweet red bean porridge.
The maid put away the bowls and chopsticks and retreated, leaving Qin Rushuang and Qingzhi alone in the palace.
Qingzhi smiled mischievously and said, "Since the princess and the prince have become a good couple, it's time for Mr. Du's illness to be cured."
Qin Rushuang was stunned, remembering that her grandfather suddenly said that she was not feeling well, and she understood immediately.
I'm afraid a few people were trying to match him up with Xie Xun, so he could only smile helplessly and shake his head.
Now that Xie Xun had to worry about political affairs, and Linbao was grown up, Mrs. Qin and Mr. Du could both take care of him. Qin Rushuang found herself with nothing to do and chatted with Qingzhi for a while. It was not yet time for lunch.
"I'm really used to worrying. Linbao is not here today, and I don't have anything else to do. It just felt like a long time has passed, and lunch time hasn't come yet."
Just after he finished speaking, the chief eunuch came and told Qin Rushuang that she didn't have to wait for Xie Xun to eat.
"Your Majesty said that there are some clues about the fourth prince's matter. He wants to deal with it with the ministers urgently, so the princess does not have to wait."
Qin Rushuang raised her eyebrows.
"Did the prince ask you to say this to me, or did you make your own decision?"
The eldest eunuch quickly smiled flatteringly and said, "The princess is joking. How dare I pretend to convey the prince's intention? The prince said it. There is no need to avoid you in matters in the court."
After the eunuch finished speaking, he withdrew.
When Qingzhi heard that the fourth prince's matter had been concluded, he felt relieved.
Seeing that Qin Rushuang was silent, she said: "Princess, you are not still worrying about those bad things, are you? Just leave those things to the prince. You should enjoy a few days of peace and happiness in the palace."
Qin Rushuang revealed the matter with a smile, had lunch with Qingzhi and others, and took a nap while being served by the palace maid.
When she woke up, Xie Xun still hadn't come back. She thought about it and ordered the eunuch to be summoned to inquire about Xie Xun's whereabouts.
"The prince has just returned from the clan's residence. He should be in the royal study. Does the princess want to go there?"
"Can I enter the imperial study room?"
The eldest eunuch smiled and said quickly: "Of course! The prince does not shy away from you talking about political affairs, so the imperial study is naturally accessible. Moreover, the king also said that in the future, the princess will not need to pass the messenger to enter the imperial study."
Qin Rushuang did not comment on the eunuch's seemingly flattering words, put on a robe and hurried to the imperial study.
The palace servants guarding outside the Imperial Study Room saw Qin Rushuang coming and were about to pass the message. Qin Rushang waved her hand and asked them all to step back and walked in by herself.
Looking up, he saw Xie Xun sitting at the desk, frowning in deep thought.