Pei Bingwen touched his nose, walked over and said sincerely: "I'm sorry, what happened today was all caused by me."
Gu Beibei didn't expect Pei Bingwen to apologize like this, and she couldn't even try to make things difficult for her.
"Okay, what does this matter have to do with you? This is my own fault.
Although I like to make trouble without reason, I don’t blame others for everything.
You didn't know about my problem in the first place, so why should I blame you?"
After Gu Beibei finished speaking, she lowered her head, with an uncertain expression on her face.
When Pei Bingwen saw this, he knew that she was in a bad mood at this time, but he still said directly:
"Why are you like this? The doctor said it's psychological, but your illness doesn't look like claustrophobia. What's the reason? Can you tell me?"
The smile on Gu Beibei's face froze for a moment, but then she sneered, looked at Pei Bingwen and said,
"Are we familiar with each other? Even if there is some other reason, do I have to tell you?
Brother Pei, you don’t really think of me as your sister, do you? I don’t have a brother like you.
I have enough brothers, I don’t need another one.”
Gu Beibei's words were very explosive, and most people would feel unhappy when they heard them, but Pei Bingwen looked calm.
"If there is any problem, we should solve it. I also knew from my sister before that you didn't seem to like eating much.
So your intestines and stomach are very weak, but later you start to change, so your body will get better and better.
Since this aspect can be changed, what can’t be done in other aspects?”
Gu Beibei folded her arms and looked at him with a sarcastic expression.
"You seem to really want to be a good brother now, or do you want to be my psychiatrist?"
Pei Bingwen said calmly, "I noticed that you often fold your arms with your hands.
I heard Gu Feibai say that this action is usually done by people who are extremely defensive or extremely offensive.
And you should be the kind of person who is extremely defensive.
But on the other hand, you desperately want others to look at you, which in itself is against the law.
In other words, people who are extremely defensive actually don’t want others to look at them.
Because this will make them very miserable, and they are afraid that they will be attacked at any time.
But you are different. While you are extremely defensive, you also like to attract attention to yourself.
Why would you do something that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Then there must be another reason. Let me guess, when you were a child, were you ever locked in a narrow, dark claustrophobic space similar to a cabinet?
That's why you will think of that kind of thing when I ask you to hide in the closet again today."
Gu Beibei didn't speak for a long time.
The autumn wind blew in outside the window, bringing a slight chill.
Gu Beibei held her arms tightly with both hands.
Finally, the legs subconsciously bent.
Pei Bingwen watched, bending his knees on the bed also meant that he did not feel safe.
Gu Beibei's next action was probably to hug her knees with her hands.
As expected, Gu Beibei hugged her knees and looked out the window.
It's a posture that a person will have if he doesn't feel safe.
On the one hand, it will make the whole person look smaller, which seems to prevent others from looking at themselves.
On the other hand, this posture also imitates the movements of a person while still inside the mother's body.
Gu Beibei did not look at Pei Bingwen and only said: "It seems that winter is coming soon again."
"Autumn is here, and it will snow again in a while." Pei Bingwen continued,
"It was also in such a winter when my sister and I met."
Gu Beibei changed the topic, but Pei Bingwen didn't ask for details and directly changed the topic.
But Gu Beibei quickly turned around, looked at him and said, "Yes, I was locked in a cupboard when I was young.
Do you know how long I was detained?"
She didn't expect an answer from Pei Bingwen. She laughed, her voice gradually became lower, and she said to herself, "I was detained for two days and one night."
Gu Beibei smiled at Pei Bingwen, "You want to know, right? I'll tell you..."
After a long time, Zuo Li turned around and left outside the door.
The wind was very strong today, and the leaves in the hospital were falling one after another.
The sky was also misty, as if it had been covered with a veil.
Just like Zuo Li's current mood, he seemed to be cast in a dark cloud.
When Gu Feichen came to the hospital, he happened to see Zuo Li in a daze.
He walked over and put the scarf around her neck, "What are you thinking about?"
Zuo Li hugged him and buried her face in his neck.
"I just feel bad for the kids when they were little."
Gu Feichen hugged her and remained silent.
The two just hugged each other and didn't speak for a long time.
"Mr. Gu, do you know? When Beibei was young, he once had fun and hid himself in the cupboard, and then fell asleep.
Others didn't know there was anyone in the cabinet, so they put a lock on it.
Then she was locked up there for two days and one night. Later, when someone went to get something, they found her dying in the cabinet.
From then on, she hated being ignored, and that feeling must have been desperate.
I don’t even know what she was thinking during those two days and one night.”
The two were walking hand in hand by the Daliu River.
Zuo Li heard Gu Beibei mention what happened back then outside the ward door.
She didn't go in immediately.
She believed that Gu Beibei hadn't mentioned it to her because he didn't want to tell her.
So she did not enter the ward to disturb Gu Beibei's confession.
"I am not qualified to be a father."
Gu Feichen frankly admitted his mistake.
Zuo Li naturally felt sorry for Gu Beibei, but she also didn't want Gu Feichen to say that about himself.
She could only say: "Everything will get better in the future."
The autumn wind was very cold, but Gu Feichen felt Zuo Li's hand was warm at this time.
It seemed to have warmed his heart.
At this moment, Gu Feichen suddenly had something to say to Zuo Li.
"Lili, actually I never thought I could be a good father.
Because I actually haven’t enjoyed much fatherly and motherly love since I was a child.
So at that time, I chose to leave the children at home."
Zuo Li's face became serious because she realized that what Gu Feichen might say to her next was something he had never told anyone else.
She dragged Gu Feichen to sit on the embankment of Daliu River. In front of their eyes were the clear Daliu River and the weeping willows growing on both sides.
The sky is gray but very vast.
Before the factories finished work, there weren’t many people outside.
For a moment, Zuo Li felt as if she and Gu Feichen were the only ones left in the world.
"Do you know why we have been married for so long? I haven't even taken you to meet my mother?
Because the relationship between me and her is not good, some experiences when I was young made me very reluctant to see her.
Even my dad, I don’t really want to see him that much.”
When Gu Feichen said this, his expression showed a hint of sadness.
In fact, in his memory, he may have had many parents.
Every time you go to a world, you will have nominal parents and even brothers and sisters.
But this world is his original world.
The parents here are the ones who really gave birth to him.
In this world today, there are very few people who can influence his emotions.
Although Gu Feichen did not explicitly say how his parents treated him when he was a child.
But Zuo Li felt inexplicably that her heart ached.
She held Gu Feichen's hand and didn't know how to comfort him.
Because the pain has already been caused, and Gu Feichen doesn't need her comfort.
Zuo Li didn't want Gu Feichen to recall those bad things.
He said directly: "My parents are very good to me, they love me the most..."
As soon as these words came out, Zuo Li's expression froze and he turned his head, secretly wondering why he said such words.
Zuo Li was talking about her parents in the original world, not Zhao Shufen and Zuo Dajun in this world.
After all, Gu Feichen also knew how Zhao Shufen and Zuo Dajun treated him.
Fortunately, Gu Feichen didn't seem to know what she was talking about, so he held her hand and continued to wander.
Zuo Li asked: "What kind of person is your mother?"
Gu Feichen: "He was a gentle person at first, but later became extreme.
A woman who looks very successful to outsiders is possessive and paranoid at heart."
Zuo Li could tell from Gu Feichen's words that he was accusing his mother.
But on the other hand, she will be praised for her strong abilities.
So, it’s not that Gu Feichen doesn’t want to have a good relationship with his mother?
Zuo Li kept this matter in mind.
"We won't mention our parents, but the shadow of childhood is indeed not easy to remove.
Next, I will ask Fei Bai to pay more attention to Beibei and see if I can help her eliminate the shadow.
I happen to be going to Hong Kong Island in a while, so I might as well take her there.
It just so happens that Hong Kong Island's entertainment industry is now extremely developed, which is very suitable for her."
Zuo Li is also looking forward to Hong Kong Island in the 1980s.
But thinking about the bad relationship between Gu Feichen and her mother-in-law, Zuo Li was a little worried.
Not to mention that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is quite dangerous in itself.
Of course, there is more to look forward to.
*
At the end of December, trip to Hong Kong.
Gu Feibai, Gu Beibei and Pei Bingwen went ahead for a few days.
Gu Yuanzheng returned to the capital. At almost seventeen years old, he had officially come into contact with the Gu family.
Zuo Li and Gu Feichen will go to Hong Kong Island after New Year's Day.
The second and third children, as well as Duan Jianian, Jingfeng and Zuo Tao, all stayed.
Jingfeng stayed because Zuo Tao, and the other three still wanted to go to school.
And since I have to take the college entrance examination next year, I can’t go with him.
Zuo Li is looking forward to this trip to Hong Kong Island.
Especially, this time when I go to Hong Kong Island, I can't avoid meeting Gu Feichen's mother, her mother-in-law.
Nervous, excited, panicked, scared, but also full of fighting spirit.
If possible, she would even like to know more about Gu Feichen's childhood.
We can also learn more about the relationship between Gu Feichen and his mother.
If possible, I hope their mother-son relationship can be eased.
Because she could feel that Gu Feichen was still in pain.
However, if her mother-in-law had really done something outrageous to Gu Feichen,
She wanted to ask Gu Feichen why he did that.
In short, Zuo Li is full of expectations and fighting spirit!
This "fight" may be a fight in the house.
But she didn't expect that she would die before leaving the army.
"Ugh~"
Zuo Li lay on the bed and vomited again.
"Are you feeling uncomfortable again? I'll open the window."
Gu Feichen opened the window of the room.
The salty sea breeze blew in.
Then... Zuoli started to vomit again.
"Don't you like the smell? Then I'll close the window."
Zuo Li quickly raised her hand to stop Gu Feichen's next behavior. She took Gu Feichen's hand and said, "Let's go to the deck."
It's not a matter of whether to open the window or not.
It's a boat of this era, why is it so rocking?
Zuo Li and Gu Feichen were on a large cruise ship, but they could also feel a completely different feeling on the cruise ship than on land.
Wobbly.
Zuo Li discovered that she was severely seasick.
Gu Feichen picked up Zuo Li, left the room, and came to the deck.
There have already been people setting up parasols, tables and stools there.
Gu Feichen sat down first and held Zuo Li in his arms.
Zuo Li drank some water and rinsed her mouth before she felt better.
Although I am really not used to the smell of sea breeze.
But the wind was strong on the deck, which made Zuoli sober up.
The feeling of wanting to vomit was suppressed.
"Should have taken a plane."
Gu Fei sighed deeply.
Zuo Li reached out to touch his frowning brow, "Don't frown, I don't feel uncomfortable."
However, it occurred to me that Gu Feichen initially suggested taking a plane directly.
As a result, Zuo Li was worried that airplanes in this era were not very safe, and he had never been on a boat before, so he suggested taking a boat.
Nowadays, this is really the result of one's own actions.
Zuo Li stroked his heart, sat up straight, and looked at the sun with some depression, probably sulking.
"I never thought that I would be so seasick."
Gu Feichen knew what she was thinking by looking at her expression.
He smiled helplessly and said, "It's okay, we'll arrive tomorrow. It's my fault, I should have insisted on taking the plane."
Seeing that Zuo Li was still not happy, Gu Feichen coughed slightly and deliberately said in a funny tone that he would not usually use,
"Oh, it's all my fault that I listen to you in everything."
Zuo Li sat on another chair and faced Gu Feichen, "Then you won't listen to me anymore?"
Gu Fei Chen held his forehead, "Hey, Mrs. Gu can't be so unreasonable. Who doesn't listen to you? Do I dare?"
"Oh! Gu Feichen, you are saying that I am fierce, right?" Zuo Li's eyes widened, she was making trouble unreasonably now.
Gu Feichen quickly clasped his hands together, "I was wrong, I was wrong, Mrs. Gu, I shouldn't have said that."
Zuo Li raised his head to one side and folded his arms, looking very arrogant.
Just when Gu Feichen was about to yell, a hesitant voice suddenly sounded next to him, "Is it Brother Gu?"
The tone is full of Hong Kong accent.
Gu Feichen's expression froze and he turned to look.
The visitor was a fat man dressed luxuriously.
Beside him, there were two tall beauties with long legs following him.
After Song Wenyu saw Gu Feichen's face, he was sure that he had heard correctly.
But it surprised him even more.
Just now he seemed to hear his family Gu coaxing a woman.
Is this possible?
His eyes fell on Zuo Li, and a hint of surprise flashed in his eyes.
If it was this woman that his brother Gu coaxed, it would be quite normal.
Song Wenyu walked over quickly, his round belly trembling.
"Brother Gu, you still remember me, Song Wenyu! That Song Wenyu from the Song family was the one who always ran behind you when you were in school!"
Gu Feichen regained his serious expression and nodded to him, "Well, I remember you."