I don’t know what’s going on lately, but I always feel very depressed at a certain moment, and my mood is always uncertain. Just like now, listening to the patter of rain outside the window, it’s very difficult to fall asleep.
Fortunately, there was no beer or cigarettes in my sigh this time, only a clear head.
If I don't want to turn on the computer, I always feel that the boot time is so slow, even if it only takes more than 20 seconds, but I don't want to waste these 20 seconds, but I will listen to the sound of rain and quietly be in a daze for several hours.
The past few years can be said to be filled with more joy than sadness. I am an optimistic person, and I know how to be content and happy. I am a person with low self-esteem, and I do not have the courage to climb high.
I picked up my phone and originally thought about putting on my headphones, playing Matthew Lane's "bressanone" on a loop, but I was afraid of disturbing the sound of rain outside the window, so I dropped the headphones I was already holding.
People always yearn for beauty, of course, I am no exception. I also yearn for the novels I write to be recognized by readers, the music I make to be approved by listeners, and the path of my life to be cared about.
People appreciate it.
As I talked, I finally couldn't help it anymore. I tried to get up, ran outside, and looked up at the sky. The night sky was dark at this time, and raindrops fell on my face.
My vision became blurred.
In the season of May, I felt a chill.
I took out a cigarette from my pocket and tried to put it to my mouth to light it. A trace of eye circles flew up into the sky. Then the lit cigarette was soaked by the rain and went out. I looked at the cigarette still held in my fingers.
, couldn't help but smile bitterly.
In fact, I don’t know what to say. I always go off topic without a theme. Maybe I can only calm down in the darkness in the quiet night, relying on the rain I always like.
No more writing, the rain is getting louder, I have to listen carefully.