At night, Baijia Village, located in a mountain col, falls into silence. Occasionally, dogs bark, and the sound echoes in the valley, as if it comes from a distant place.
The silly Dunzi had dinner, walked around the house, restless, and pestered his mother to come to Xiaobai's house next door, only to find the door closed, a cold wind blowing from behind the house, a rustling sound, and no one else.
.
At Bai Jianping's house in the village, a family of four sat together. Yang Yi, with her big belly, glanced at Bai Zhiqiang secretly. Seeing his serious expression, she swallowed back the words brewing in her stomach and remained silent.
The atmosphere at home was a little depressing. The charcoal fire was burning in the brazier. The door was not closed tightly, leaving a gap. The night wind blew in, and the charcoal sparks flew everywhere.
Bai Jianping blocked the sparks with a big hand and said in a low voice: "I agree with your mother's opinion."
Bai Zhiqiang's expression changed. He didn't know what he was thinking. He neither agreed nor disagreed.
But since there is no agreement, it can be understood as a silent rejection. He said hello to his parents last year. When Yang Yi became pregnant, he asked Malanhua to come to Qicheng to help take care of her. But now, his mother decided to stay and take care of Teacher Jiang.
He stood up silently, went back to his room, and closed the door tightly.
In the county hospital, Xiaobai sat beside the bed, talking to his grandma, and singing a song from time to time.
Boss Zhang said that she sang well. She became more and more confident and liked singing more and more.
Zhang Tan was peeling an apple. Grandma looked at him sideways and suddenly asked: "Boss Zhang, how did you meet Xiaobai?"
Zhang Tan said: "My family has opened a late-night academy to take in children who have no adults to take care of them at night. Xiaobai is in this academy."
Xiaobai laughed and said that the little red horse was so fun, there were so many melons, there was millet that the cute mother had lost, there was Cheng Cheng who was confused and was a great storyteller, there was Xi'er who liked to giggle, and there was naughty boy
The troublemaker Liliu, and the annoying Luo Zikang...
She counted the children in Little Red Horse Academy and talked about it with great interest. Each one of them could tell one or two interesting things.
Grandma asked a few more simple questions and finally said: "Thank you."
Zhang Tan cut the peeled apple into six pieces, placed it on a plate, and handed it to grandma, "You're welcome. I did everything within my ability."
“It’s been hard for you these days. You and your girlfriend are both good people.”
Grandma gave the cut apples to Xiaobai. Xiaobai and Zhang Tan were about to leave and peeled off the apple skins. They were amazed that the apple skins could be connected into a string, and their eyes couldn't help but shine.
She looked at Xiaobai and said lovingly: "My Xiaobai is a good baby. She is fierce because she lacks a sense of security..."
Zhang Tan listened carefully. After grandma finished speaking, she was silent for a moment and asked, "Can you call the nurse in for me?"
"good."
Zhang Tan stood up and called the nurse. Grandma wanted to wipe her body.
The nurse prepared hot water and towels. Zhang Tan closed the door and came to the corridor. He took a call from Su Lan and chatted with each other about the current situation.
After the call was made, the nurses came out with buckets and towels.
Grandma’s voice came out, “Zhang Tan, come in.”
The room seemed empty. Grandma sat up slightly, with two pillows under her head. Xiaobai was combing her silver hair.
“Hey, goose, goose, look, uncle, Xiaobai is combing grandma’s hair.”
The little one is very happy. Her grandma used to comb her hair, but now she can also comb her hair.
“Grandma, do you want a watermelon? The watermelon is so cute~~”
She wanted to give her grandma a watermelon hairdo, and grandma smiled and said yes.
Xiaobai laughed and became even more enthusiastic. He used grandma's silver hair as plasticine and dressed it up as he pleased.
She struggled with her grandma's silver hair for a long time and couldn't comb it out because she only knew oral pleasure. Finally, she simply tied it behind her head and sighed, saying that she had to learn this strength.
“What’s wrong with the claws? There are so many hairs.”
Xiaobai found that a lot of hair fell off the bed sheet, all from when he had just combed his hair.
As people get older, their hair begins to fall out. This is a natural phenomenon.
Grandma smiled and said it didn’t matter, she asked Xiaobai to tell her a story.
These days, Xiaobai volunteers to tell her grandma stories every night. Regardless of whether the story is good or not, she enjoys it anyway.
“Grandma, what do you want to hear?”
In an instant, a dozen stories came out of Xiaobai’s head, and she wanted to tell her grandma all of them. One small mouth was simply not enough, it would be great if there were two.
Grandma can say anything, as long as it is said by a novice.
Xiaobai decided to tell "I Want the Moon". While listening to it, grandma worked hard to embroider Xiaobai's clothes that were two years older.
She could only lie flat on her back, raise her head slightly, and embroider with difficulty. In order not to make mistakes, she worked very slowly. Fortunately, there was not much left.
She spent a whole night embroidering a cute little tiger on Xiaobai's clothes and let Xiaobai try it on.
Just two years older.
Xiaobai will fit in sooner or later, just wait.
It was late at night, and it started to rain lightly at night. The temperature suddenly dropped a lot, and it became colder and colder.
The nurse on duty came over to check on grandma, and the air conditioner was turned up a little.
Zhang Tan looked at his watch and wanted to take Xiaobai back to the hotel.
Xiaobai didn't want to leave and wanted to stay here, but his grandma persuaded him to leave.
“Grandma, bye~~~~”
“Goodbye, Xiaobai.”
There is no one keeping vigil in the ward tonight, only the nurse on duty in the building.
The lights in the long and old corridor were dim. In the ward, the lights on the ceiling were turned off. Only a night light was on at the door of the bathroom, and two night lights were on under the bed and on the wall close to the floor.
The light was dim, and grandma was lying quietly on the hospital bed, her eyes not closed. She was not sleepy at the moment, her heart was surging, and scenes of her life were emerging one after another.
The rain outside the window first made a small noise for a while, then became violent and angry, carrying the strong wind, blowing against the glass window. Then it gradually became lighter and turned into a patter, if there was nothing, then became calm, and finally returned.
The sound of the wind and rain has disappeared, and the night has become quiet.
How like life.
After a night of rain, it must have been early in the morning. There was no sound of footsteps in the corridor for a long time. Everyone must have gone to sleep.
Grandma stretched out her hand from the quilt, and there was an object in her hand. She pressed it, and the object lit up fluorescently. It was a mobile phone.
The mobile phone for the elderly that Xiaobai bought for her.
Her hands were trembling and she lost her grip on the phone and dropped it on the bed.
When she picked it up again, her withered right hand was already stable, just like the time Xiaobai taught her to use the mobile phone a few days ago.
She turned on the recording function of her mobile phone, paused for a moment, and tried to organize her words.
When something big happens to ordinary people's homes, it's like there is a hole in the sky, heavy rain pours down, and people and ships are capsized.
Grandma, she had a fall. She never imagined that it would lead to so many difficult choices and affect the lives and destiny of so many people.
Everyone was making choices because of her wrestling. She saw it in her eyes and was anxious in her heart. After so many days, she finally thought it through and made her own choice.
Her choice is not to trouble others.
She is a kind and quiet person who never wants to trouble anyone. She has persisted all her life and never thought that at this critical moment in her life, she would bring so much trouble to the people around her.
From the moment she fell, she suddenly realized that she was no longer an independent person. In terms of personality, she still stubbornly persisted, but in terms of actions and body, she had lost the qualification to be independent. She had to
My granddaughter doesn’t use the money she earns to treat her illness, but can’t even take care of herself to eat and go to the toilet. How can she be called a human being?
She realized that she had become a trouble, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause trouble to others.
From this moment on, a terrible thought emerged in my mind.
She thought about death.
The old man who passed away a few days ago allowed her to see her future. When she was in pain, the people around her were also in pain.
According to the natural law of life, old age, illness and death, she still has some time left, but she does not want to lie on the hospital bed and linger. She wants to bid farewell to this world with dignity.
Thinking about it this way, that terrible thought is no longer scary. It is no longer ferocious, desperate, and maddening. It actually exudes hope, like the breath blowing from the mountains and forests in spring, carrying the revival of vegetation and earth.
of fragrance.
For most of her life, she had always faced the sun and had a warm heart. Even if her husband passed away, her son passed away, her daughter-in-law passed away... Life gave her one malicious joke after another, but she could persevere and still smile.
With hope, I still look forward to tomorrow.
She has gone through many battles and is riddled with wounds. She is like an old bone, fighting gently but stubbornly. She is no longer afraid of any wind and rain.
By now, fate had lost patience with her and was trying to knock her down with malice.
She wanted to live a decent life, but it refused to give it to her.
But she didn't resent it, she even wanted to thank it for giving the malicious joke to her instead of Xiaobai.
She took it all.
Fate is destined to be disappointing.
Because she did not fall into despair and seek death, she decided to rush to death with hope, just like welcoming another great victory.
She gave herself to fate instead of being robbed by force.
She has never lost in her life, and she cannot lose with dignity in the end.
No one can knock her down unless she disarms herself, takes off her helmet, lays down her weapons, and dies disarmed.
Her life was mostly driven by fate. In the last journey of her life, she had to make the decision for herself, choose a path, and walk all the way.
In the quiet ward, grandma held the mobile phone in one hand, raised it to her lips, and tried her best to say in a clear voice: "I left last night, and my heart was calm when I left... The only person who was worried was Xiaobai... But
Xiaobai, with you, I have nothing to worry about..."
This is the first sentence of a suicide note written by an 81-year-old man living alone in Nanjing before his death. The original sentence is "I left last night (the 15th day of the eighth lunar month), and my heart felt calm when I left..."
