Here Comes the Train is an indoor hosting variety show. In each episode, one or several guests will be invited to the show to sing, dance, chat and interview with the host, and sometimes play games.
Does it sound ordinary and bland?
But just such a program directly broke the record for the highest ratings of similar programs!
This has an inseparable relationship with the host Lu Yuqing.
I will tell you who Lu Yuqing is later, because at this time, the show begins.
Lu Yuqing first said a few words to warm up the show, raising the atmosphere of the show, then turned sideways, stretched out his hand toward the backstage of the show, and said loudly: "Now, let us applaud this episode's guest, Zhang Xu!
"
Audience: Wow——(applause, cheers)
Just as everyone was paying attention to the backstage of the show, a vigorous figure rushed from the audience to the stage with lightning speed.
Seeing this, Fang Jin and others in front of the screen twitched their mouths.
Zhang Xu put his arm around Fang Jin's shoulders, pointed at himself on the screen and laughed: "Brother Fang, are you shocked by my unique appearance? Hahahaha."
Fang Jin: "...You are quite naughty."
Noila Mo clapped her little hands and cheered: "Wow, brother Zhang Xu is so handsome!"
Zhang Xu smiled narcissistically: "That's necessary. I dressed up for several hours just to be on the show!"
Wang Xue showed approval: "You are indeed very classy, brother Zhang Xu."
Even Kang Jiayu, who has always been indifferent to handsome guys, gave him a thumbs up: "Not bad, Zhang Xu, you didn't embarrass Honghuo."
On the screen, Zhang Xu was dressed in a flowing casual black suit, with a cool rope tied around his waist, and Martin boots. Combined with his handsome and stylish appearance, the female audience at the scene instantly screamed.
Standing on the stage, Zhang Xu wore a headset and greeted the camera generously and enthusiastically: "Hello everyone, I am Zhang Xu!"
"welcome!"
The host Lu Yuqing patted his chest with a resentful expression: "Ouch~ I was shocked by the way Brother Zhang appeared."
With that said, Lu Yuqing approached Zhang Xu very familiarly: "Frightened means that I was frightened, so don't think too much about it."
Zhang Xu looked puzzled: "Otherwise, what kind of shock could it be?"
Lu Yuqing smiled ambiguously: "That's right, the artificial kind..."
The audience below understood instantly and began to laugh and boo.
Seeing this, Noila Mo in front of the screen wondered: "I don't understand, what are they talking about?"
Wang Xue: "It's just dirty stuff..."
Noila Mo blinked his eyes in confusion and turned his attention to the screen again.
On the stage, under the guidance of Lu Yuqing, the two talked about topics about their love life.
Lu Yuqing looked at Zhang Xu inquiringly and said, "Hey? Speaking of love life, does Brother Zhang have a girlfriend?"
The audience below smelled the gossip and stared at Zhang Xu excitedly.
Zhang Xu shook his head: "I am focusing on my career at the moment and have no intention of considering such a thing."
"Oh, I don't have a girlfriend." Lu Yuqing said with a serious expression: "I have heard others say that men without girlfriends generally live a very sad life. Brother Zhang, aren't you sad?"
Zhang Xu asked back: "You're not sad, what's so sad about this?"
Lu Yuqing showed his signature evil smile: "I have also heard others say that if a man without a girlfriend is not sad, then he must have some sore hands."
Zhang Xu's eyes twitched: "...I, I...my hands are sore?"
Lu Yuqing couldn't stop laughing: "How do you usually meet your physiological needs?"
Zhang Xu was embarrassed: "What are physiological needs?"
Lu Yuqing was full of fire: "Hey, stop pretending and let me see if there are calluses on your hands."
Audience: (laughing)
Zhang Xu bared his teeth and held his head: "Don't say such things..."
Lu Yuqing's tone changed: "Hey? Speaking of fingers, I suddenly remembered an old joke. Do you want to hear it?"
The audience shouted in unison: Listen!
Zhang Xu became more energetic: "Is this a joke? I also like to tell jokes! This is my area of expertise!"
Hearing this, Lu Yuqing's eyes lit up: "Really? It seems that Brother Zhang and I are the same people!"
Zhang Xu said quickly: "Brother Lu, you talk first, and I will talk after you finish!"
"Ahem, let me start." Lu Yuqing cleared his throat: "This is a very old joke, and it's not very funny."
Seeing that the Evil Demon King was about to drive, the audience below immediately got into the mood.
Lu Yuqing's voice was very soft and had the ability to arouse people's emotions. With a smile on his lips, he said: "Speaking of which, a very beautiful and young girl got married to an old man. On the night of the wedding, the old man said to the girl
Hold out three fingers. When the girl saw it, she was very excited: wow, are you going to do it three times tonight?"
Zhang Xu suppressed a laugh: "Brother Lu, what are you trying to do? Won't you get banned for talking about this kind of thing?"
"How could that be?" Lu Yuqing laughed to herself, and continued: "...the old man smiled slightly and said: Which finger do you choose?"
After saying that, Lu Yuqing held Zhang Xu's arm, and the two of them smiled and bent over.
Zhang Xu: "Can this be said? Hahaha..."
The audience was in an uproar and the atmosphere was so lively.
Seeing this, several people in front of the screen felt internal injuries.
Fang Jin: "...I think this kind of program is really too early for Xiaoyun."
Not to mention Xiaoyun, it’s a bit early for me!
Is this still a variety show? It’s too open!
Believe it or not, I will report you for pornography, you bastard!
Noila Mo said aggrievedly: "But I don't understand anything!"
Fang Jin: "By the time you understand, it will be too late..."
Wang Xue held Noila Mo in her arms: "Good boy, Xiaoyun, we don't watch this kind of thing."
On the screen, it was Zhang Xu's turn to tell a joke.
Zhang Xu on the stage thought for a moment and said: "A woman said to her husband: Husband, I have had a major operation and I may not be able to get pregnant. Will you dislike me? After hearing this, the husband hugged her and
Wen Wen said: How could it be? Of course I can't dislike you, at worst we can adopt one."
Lu Yuqing continued: "What a good husband."
"Yes." Zhang Xu continued: "The husband asked her: By the way, are there any sequelae of the operation? She replied: There are no sequelae, but I am not used to squatting to urinate."
Lu Yuqing was stunned for a moment, and then she and Zhang Xu broke into a group of laughs.
Lu Yuqing laughed so hard that tears came out: "Hahaha, I'm not used to squatting to pee, hahaha..."
The atmosphere on the field was very lively, and the audience was completely carried away by these two guys.
A joker and a dirty demon king, who put them together!
Lu Yuqing held Zhang Xu's shoulders and smiled: "I suddenly remembered a story, which should be a prequel to your joke."
Zhang Xu was curious: "Oh? There is a prequel to this joke? Then I want to hear it."
"It's just a little story." Lu Yuqing said: "On this day, a scorpion and a praying mantis met on the road, and they refused to obey the other. The scorpion said: Did you see the poisonous needle on the back of my tail? Remember back then, I
I was stung on a person's chest, and up to now, there are still two large pustules on that person's chest, and white pus will flow out from time to time..."
As he said this, Lu Yuqing made a gesture on his chest, lowered his head and smiled evilly.
Zhang Xu covered his face and laughed endlessly: "Ah! Brother Lu, how can you tell such a joke? Hahaha!"
The audience's laughter never stopped, and they cheered one after another. They were very happy.
"Ahem... After Scorpion finished speaking, it was Mantis's turn. Mantis said... Hahaha!" Lu Yuqing couldn't open his eyes with laughter: "... Mantis said: You are nothing, you saw the scar on my elbow.
Have you clipped the knife? I remember back then, when I slashed the man between his legs with a knife, and now, the bloody wound has not healed, and the bleeding continues every month... Hahaha!"
Zhang Xu laughed like crazy on the stage: "Brother Lu, do you want to say... hahaha... that guy who is not used to squatting to urinate, the surgery was done by Mantis and Scorpion, hahaha!"
"It's very possible, hahaha!"
…
In front of the screen, Fang Jin and the others suppressed their faces and turned red.
If you watch this show alone, it will definitely be a very happy thing, but once you watch it with your parents and friends, it will be a social death scene!
Even a person with a strong psychological quality like Zhang Xu was so embarrassed that he wanted to explode on the spot.
At this time, Zhang Xu just wanted to buy a rocket and escape from this planet. He felt regretful in his heart. He regretted participating in this show, and even more regretted inviting Fang Jin and others to watch this show.
Ahhhh, what did I do at that time! How can I live in this world in the future?
Noila Mo was at a loss in Wang Xue's arms and couldn't figure out what was going on.
Fang Jin and Kang Jiayu didn't say a word, they were too quiet.
After listening to such dirty jokes, it feels like a door to a new world has opened.
I understood it and was shocked.
On the screen, the Evil Demon King Lu Yuqing was still driving.
Lu Yuqing said: "Brother Zhang, let me test you with a riddle."
Zhang Xu on the stage was very confident: "That will definitely not be a problem for me!"
"Oh? Are you so confident?" Lu Yuqing showed his iconic evil smile again: "Then I will give you a question: women wear underwear, guess a kind of food."
Zhang Xu showed a thoughtful expression on his face: "This..."
"Let me remind you." Lu Yuqing said with a smile: "It is a small snack that children like to eat."
"Snacks?" Zhang Xu couldn't think of the same thing between underwear and children's favorite snacks even though he tried hard. After thinking for a long time, he smiled and said: "It really stumped me... What is the answer to the mystery?"
"It's so simple that you can't even guess it. Let me tell you, the answer is..." Lu Yuqing laughed and uttered two words: "Guo, jelly."
Zhang Xu understood instantly and burst into laughter: "Hahahaha..."
Fang Jin, who was in front of the screen, took a long time to realize what it meant.