Chapter 186 Desires can be solved, but troubles cannot be eliminated
The cold wind howls outside.
After picking up the tea cup and taking a sip, Naruse didn't put it down, just holding it in his hand.
The living room of Morimi's house is really cold.
Even if you sit in a kotatsu, there are still places where you can’t get warm.
After a moment of silence, Morimi raised his head and looked at him again.
"Then what?"
"Then I left Aomori and went to Tokyo with my mother."
"I mean you and Haixing."
"Of course it's over. After I went to Tokyo, we completely lost contact."
Morimi took another deep breath and stared at his tea cup in a daze.
Naruse looked at her for a while and then looked at the clock on the wall.
He has been sitting here for almost half an hour.
Normally, he should have arrived home by this time...
"There is one more question." After a while, Morimi finally spoke again.
"Hmm."
She looked at him, "Besides you and Haixing, does anyone else know what happened between you?"
He looked at her, "You."
"...Shangzi doesn't know either?"
"How could you tell her such a thing?"
"..."
Sen Jian felt like laughing for some reason, but couldn't.
I can’t tell Shangzi about my ambiguous past with Haixing, but I can tell her...
She sighed.
"What do you want me to say?"
"What?"
"I understand you...etc."
Naruse looked at her and then looked away.
"I don't have such expectations, I just hope this matter can end here. The same goes for Haixing..."
"——Haixing really thinks so?"
"Yes. She just couldn't do it." Naruse said.
Morimi looked at him, "What if I never can do it?"
He was silent for a while and lowered his gaze.
"If that counts as dating, then we have broken up. And now she has made the choice to let each other go. If she still can't let go, I will feel sorry for her, that's all."
"..."
She pursed her lower lip and suddenly lay down again, looking at the ceiling.
She can now truly understand his relationship with Haixing, but after peeling off the cocoon, the problem becomes more difficult.
"I shouldn't have interfered..."
Naruse glanced at her.
"Only you can solve this kind of thing."
"I really wish you could think so earlier."
She sat up again and stared at him.
"It's not because you and Haixing both concealed such important things."
"Then why do you think she and I don't want to talk."
"..."
Of course, it’s because it’s difficult to talk about this kind of thing to outsiders.
But realizing this, she suddenly felt a little annoyed.
"I don't know!"
Naruse glanced at her and lowered his head to drink tea.
"It's time for me to go back."
Morijian said nothing.
He didn't just leave. He drank all the hot tea in the cup one mouthful after another before getting up.
"I hope this cup of hot tea can last me until I get home."
She raised her eyes and looked at him, "I have a thermos cup, you can take it with you to drink on the road."
"Forget it." Naruse shook his head, "I'm going back."
Morimi got up and walked him to the door.
"Naruse."
He sat in the hallway and put on his shoes, "Yeah."
"Tomorrow is the common exam."
"Hmm."
"Two years from now, we will be the ones taking the exam."
He looked back at her.
"Do you want to say that you have to concentrate on facing the only two years left?"
Morimi laughed.
"Do you also have the ability to read minds?"
"Occasionally it can play a role."
"Then guess what I want to do."
"You want to solve the starfish problem, and then focus on studying."
"You guessed it right." She laughed and sighed, "But..."
The problem of starfish cannot be solved.
"The only person who can solve this problem is herself."
Naruse stood up and looked at her, "If you really want to get into Beijing University, then forget about this."
"..."
Morimi took a deep breath of air.
"You don't need to remind me about this kind of thing."
Naruse nodded.
"Good night."
He disappeared into the darkness and snow, and she stood at the door for a while before turning around and going in.
She turned off the electric heater on the kotatsu in the living room, collected the cups left on the table, and sent them to the kitchen. She stood in front of the sink for a while longer.
I can only choose between Beijing University and Haixing. Is this what he meant?
If you want to be admitted to Beijing University, you have to put aside the starfish matters and concentrate on your studies in the little time left;
But letting go of Haixing does not guarantee that she will be admitted to Beijing University.
What's more, she can't let go.
How could she leave her alone?
But now that she is unable to intervene, what else can she do?
"..."
She held the cup in the sink, which seemed to still have his residual warmth.
Wow——
Turning on the faucet, rinsing the two cups and putting them away, Morimi left the kitchen, went back to the room to get pajamas, and then went downstairs to the bathroom.
She took off her glasses and took off her clothes. The ubiquitous cold made her tremble all over, and her arms were covered with goosebumps.
Wow——
Turn on the shower head, and a steady stream of hot water will spray down, dispelling all the coldness.
The tense body gradually became relaxed.
She closed her eyes, raised her hands to cover her ears, and the sound of water washing over her scalp echoed directly in her mind.
Rustle, rustle——
Hollow and dense.
The water flow is constant and the erosion is constant.
It seems like there is only one voice left in the whole world, and there is nothing to think about.
I don’t want to think about it either…
["If you really want to get into Beijing University, then forget about this."]
"..."
She opened her eyes.
Wow——
The water is still washing her body.
"How to do it..."
She doesn't know.
The hot water flowed over his head and face, and then to his body. After standing there for a while, Morimi began to clean himself.
First, the shoulder-length hair.
After applying shampoo, scrubbing for a while, and then rinsing, she squinted at her hands, and there were still a few hair strands that had not been washed away tangled between her fingers.
My hair fell out again...
She didn't bother to care, turned her palm, washed away her hair, and then washed her body.
The soap was smeared all over the body, from the arms on both sides, to the neck, and then to the chest, caressing it unconsciously.
"Well..."
The unconscious becomes conscious.
After coming back to his senses, the soap slid down and was applied to every part of his lower body.
She restrained herself.
Anxiety and desire occupy equal parts of her heart, but she just wants to calm down.
After rinsing her body clean, she turned off the light and sat in the bathtub.
Dark and quiet.
But I couldn’t hear the sound of wind and snow outside the window.
There were other voices roaring in her head.
["...Then forget about this."]
"Don't think about it..."
Wow!
She stood up immediately and climbed out of the bathtub.
Buzz——
The phone in my pocket vibrated.
Facing the wind and snow, Naruse shrank his head and didn't want to pay attention to it, but then he thought it might be Naoko's news, so he took out his mobile phone.
Yiye: Don’t talk to me again.
"..."
He was stunned for a moment, then looked around subconsciously.
In the silent and dark wilderness, there is no one else but himself.
No one could explain the meaning of this sentence to him.
"Inexplicable..."
Naruse:Okay.
Putting away his cell phone, he kept walking home with his head shrunk. After a while, his cell phone vibrated again and continued.
It's the phone number.
Thinking of Tokimatsu Chiaki telling him to contact him later at Takigawa's house, Naruse immediately took out his cell phone.
"..."
Or Morimi.
He answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Are you home?"
“We didn’t even reach the intersection.”
"It's so slow...well..."
"How long have I left your home?"
"I don't know..."
Naruse looked ahead. The lights at the intersection penetrated the wind and snow, guiding him in the direction.
"What happened?"
"..."
There was only the sound of her sometimes restrained and sometimes rapid chaotic breathing.
"Morimi?"
"...I'm here."
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing...well...I just want to say, I want to..."
Her words were so unclear that it was impossible to tell, and Naruse frowned.
"Morimi..."
Toot——
"..."
The phone was hung up.
After a while, she sent a message.
Yiye: Let’s talk tomorrow.
Buzz——
Chunhai: Whatever you want.
Throwing the phone on her pajamas, she returned to the bathroom, turned on the shower again, and rinsed her hands and lower body.
Wow——
Sitting back in the bathtub, she lay down weakly.
Desires are eliminated, but irritability takes the lead and occupies the other half of the free space in my heart.