The night sky after the rain is still filled with heavy clouds.
The cool evening breeze blows in through the window, carrying the lonely smell of dead trees in autumn.
Rustle, rustle——
The sound of paper and pen rubbing against each other resounded in the quiet room. The pencil that was not round was scratched on the white paper, and the lead particles with uneven force rustled down.
【If I could, I would never want to leave him.】
Sakichu Koto wrote this on the paper.
You can finish writing these.
She lost the strength to hold the pen.
The pencil couldn't help but slip off if I tilted my wrist.
Sakichu Kodou sat at the end of the bed and hugged his legs, his delicate fingers weakly holding on to the white socks, even though the edges of the vertical stripes of the white socks had long been deformed.
She repeated this action for a long time today.
But my head is still dizzy.
He raised his head and looked at the wall. There was a mirror.
An old full-length mirror was placed opposite the end of the bed, just enough to reflect her entire body.
Sakichu Kodou looked at himself in the mirror, gently brushed the thin bangs on his forehead with his fingers, revealing his fair and delicate cheeks, and stared blankly at the figure in the mirror, especially those magnificent eyes.
The slender crow-feather-like eyelashes quivered gently, the softness under the loose clothes hung on the hugged legs, and the blush and luster on the knees complemented each other.
She is a very self-aware person.
I also know that I am beautiful.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have traded myself in the first place.
So when he was stuck in the quagmire of his grandma's need for medical treatment, Sakichu Kodou knew that he might be the last thing to get rid of it, but at that time, he also perfectly interpreted the situation and sought medical treatment in a hurry.
After all, time never waits for anyone.
Looking at her grandmother who was losing weight day by day on the hospital bed, Sakichu Kodou felt a constant pain in her heart, but she felt helpless and blamed herself.
Especially after seeking any help to no avail, it was like struggling in a quagmire for her, but the harder she struggled, the faster she fell.
Fear, panic, helplessness...
Even if you lose your parents at a young age, you still have to carry the banner of your family.
When you know your only support is about to pass away.
Her inner strength also burst at this moment.
And just when she was about to throw her last bit of dignity to the ground and follow the so-called manager whose nature she knew well, Minamoto Yorimitsu suddenly appeared and broke the trajectory of her life.
Among them, there was one sentence from Yorimitsu Minamoto that she remembered very clearly.
"If you want to get the light, you have to endure the torment of darkness."
This is what seems to make sense.
Let her follow Minamoto Norimitsu in confusion.
It wasn't until the bank balance change message was sent that night that Sakichu Koto realized that Minamoto Yorimitsu was the one who could help her get out of the predicament, even if the other person's purpose was still his own body.
But things didn't go in the direction I expected.
After repeatedly struggling internally, when he took the initiative but was rejected, Sakichu Kodou seemed to have discovered the difference in Minamoto Yorimitsu. His behavior seemed completely inconsistent with the original asking price.
He is obviously caring about himself.
But he always likes to say it with a cold face.
He obviously said he wanted to kill himself.
But always keep a safe distance.
Obviously sometimes I dislike myself.
But he was willing to spend time with her in the hospital.
Thinking of this, Sakichu Koto quickly picked up the phone next to him, unlocked the screen and quickly entered the interface of the chat software. His thin white fingers kept sliding up urgently to find a certain message.
It wasn't until half a minute later that she found the answer.
The slightly glowing writing on the screen came into view.
[I really like you, please date me!]
Even through a cold screen, you can feel the heat.
At that time, Sakichu Kodou, who had never been confessed to before, was extremely flustered, and subconsciously thought it was too fake. He even thought it was a prank played by classmates.
Until Minamoto Yorimitsu shines into her darkness like a ray of light.
Only then did she firmly believe that none of this was a coincidence.
Even if Yorimitsu Minamoto denies it, it will not work.
So the more she owed, the more she wanted to repay it.
Just like she had been rejected several times when she wanted to give herself over, she seemed to be unable to find the door that opened Minamoto no Yorimitsu's heart, especially when she was still doubted several times even if she expressed her love.
"Do you think you are not pure enough?"
Sakichu and Koto initially thought that they should not be disappointed, at least in that kind of transaction, they were not asked for anything, and they should have the mentality that they had taken advantage of it.
But this is not the case.
Although she seemed to be tied up before, trapped in a dark quagmire and unable to extricate herself, she could only pray for those hands to help her untie herself, and longed to be held tightly forever, pulling herself towards the direction of the light.
But now she feels completely different.
Like, appreciate, depend on...
She can clearly perceive many emotions.
So even though she couldn't tell what she was really thinking.
But he also wants to stay with Minamoto no Yorimitsu no matter what.
She shuddered at the thought of losing her light.
Even if that ray of light might make you suffocate.
Especially after seeing that pretty girl coming to pester him, Sakichu Kodou realized that her beauty alone could not keep him, and that her own path seemed to have been in the wrong direction for a long time.
Therefore, her gaze became more determined.
Sakichu Xiaoteng came back to his senses, moved his eyes down to the phone, and swiped the screen with his fingers.
Open a forum that you follow on 2ch.
[Hey ha! Ask for it! The gathering place for beheaded men! 】
The black and bold handwriting comes into view.
Showing extraordinary momentum.
Sakichu Xiaodeng glanced at the blushing forum name, flipped through his previous posts with his fingers skillfully, and found that there were already many red-dot replies and discussions.
The title of her post is also very simple.
【I want to be by his side forever, but I am not worthy of him, what should I do? 】
This is a post made this afternoon.
I didn't expect there to be so many replies.
Koto Sakichu was flipping through the comments nervously.
[Sisters are confused! Why should we love men! Don’t we have hands!?]
[Break his legs, make him paralyzed and bedridden, and then you take care of him (smile)]
[Isn’t the guy upstairs a little too violent? Can’t we girls be gentler? I think it’s better to give him some soup to make him tired and sleepy all the time, and then he can cuddle up in your arms every day.]
[Please link!]
[Ask for the link!]
Sakichu and Kodo shivered when they saw it.
Why do people always hit people?
And what does it mean to have hands?
She continued to read with some confusion.
Looking back and forth among dozens of layers of comments
Finally saw something serious.
[Don’t listen to the nonsense upstairs. Since you think you’re not worthy of him and don’t want to leave him yet, there are only two ways. One is to improve yourself, and the other is to lower his level. But of course I recommend improving yourself.
Men prefer girls who are helpful to them, and career is what they pay more attention to.]
[Even if you can't help a man's career, try not to cause him any trouble. Even if you marry into a rich family and become a mere flower vase, you must have a relatively dazzling academic qualifications and status. For example, if you have a good position in a serious job, you must be able to
He was able to introduce it to his friends.]
[In addition, we must adopt a two-pronged approach, not only to improve ourselves, but also to please him...]
Sakichu Koto looked at the comment with the nickname "Sparrow", and for a moment, she felt an infinite resonance in her heart. She read all her comments carefully several times.
She silently nodded.
Then he hesitated again.
I sent the friend request to the other party again.
Sakichu Xiaoteng looked through the comments below again and found that everyone was discussing their careers and arguing fiercely about what they could do well. She was slightly moved and quickly took a closer look.
It seems that he has found the reason for his efforts. Sakichu Koto's suppressed mood became more relaxed, and he joined the discussion in high spirits. When he saw the instant reply, he felt even more excited.
Until after weighing the pros and cons among many careers.
Sakichu Koto's beautiful eyes were full of determination and excitement.
In the end even she was lying in bed getting ready to sleep.
It's hard to fall asleep if you're emotionally agitated.
It was like finding the direction of the exit in the darkness without direction. This inner peace and excitement was too difficult to cover up, causing her to roll many times on the bed and kick the soft quilt around.
"You have to become better and become worthy of him!"