Suddenly, I am back to that snowy night. [This article comes from ]
The cold air around her body came in waves, the wind howled, and the snowflakes were as big as goose feathers. It was so cold that her body would heat up. She huddled in the firewood pile and refused to come out. When she saw the empress coming over, she burst into tears:
"Why me? Why not sister? Why me?"
She was five years old that year, but that question was indeed what she should ask.
She grew up in a small fishing village in the south of the Yangtze River, but she didn't make a living by fishing. She had an older sister and a younger brother. She was her older sister's sister and her younger brother's older sister, ranking second. But for some reason, the harvest was not bad.
,Dad is still helping in the rich man’s workshop.
She was getting poorer and poorer. She was only five years old and didn't understand this at the time. But when Ren Yazi came to the house for the second time, it was that snowy night. She ran out and hid in the firewood pile outside the house.
Li didn't dare to go home until the empress came to take her back.
"Why me?"
She cried and asked, but her family didn't tell her, but she just knew something. She didn't know what the future would be like, but she... was going to be sent out. Although her family didn't have many things and was very poor, she still knew that she could only stay here.
Home is the best, better than anything outside.
She knew it wasn't her younger brother, but she didn't understand why it wasn't her older sister, even though she didn't want her older sister to leave... The empress hugged her and cried, "Because you are smart, you are smarter than your sister, you are smart, you are out,
She has a better chance of survival than her sister. Don’t blame your father, blame your mother..."
She always remembered what her mother said in tears that she was smarter. She was sold, changed hands several times, sold to a brothel, trained, beaten and scolded, fed and starved. After a few years, she
They have grown taller and have a delicate appearance. Because they are smart, they are fed and fed well. There are also teachers who teach them manners, reading, chess, calligraphy and painting.
She always remembered her father and mother, and that night during the heavy snow. She said that you are smarter and have a better chance of survival than your sister. When she really understood this, she didn’t know if she wanted to hate her father and mother. When she was almost thirteen years old,
She is in a brothel
It was the first time she showed up as a brothel to entertain guests. When she was almost fifteen years old, the copper coins and scraps of silver she had saved around her were finally exchanged for a large silver ingot, and she was finally treated seriously by the mother of the brothel.
It was a chance for her to go back and visit her relatives.
She remembered that when Mother Yang told her this, she only had a look of disdain and sarcasm on her face. Mother Yang had always been indifferent to worthless women, and she only had fear in her heart. She could not understand the meaning of that look.
. She held the ingot in both hands, and even asked Uncle Guinu from Jinfeng Tower to rent a small carriage for her and go all the way back. At that time, she
She had not thought about how to face her father and mother. Whether to hate them or forgive them, she thought that she would figure it out when she got there. She could rely on her mood at that time, scold them, turn around and leave them, and never pay attention to them again for the rest of her life.
Or he could leave Yuanbao'er behind, turn around and leave, and ignore them for the rest of his life. One Yuanbao, fifty taels of silver, is enough for a family to use for a long time.
But she didn't get the chance to hate or forgive.
Her father went to the mountains to cut firewood and fell to death. Her younger brother fell ill and borrowed money from the rich man's family, but the illness was still not cured. After her younger brother died, her mother-in-law also died. She remembered what her mother-in-law said, "You are smart.
Maybe there is a way to survive.
However, my sister married the son of a rich man as a concubine and is still alive today.
So she changed into village clothes and went to find her sister. She did not tell her sister that she had become a prostitute. In the backyard of the rich man's house, her sister did not ask her about her experiences over the years. What she kept saying was that she was now with
How do several other concubines compete for favor? She suffers if they see each other's displeasure.
She was bullied, and her husband, who had read some books, spent all day in the brothels in the town, and other things like that. She didn't stay until noon and left because the rich man's son came back and saw her, and then his eyes looked a little...
Afterwards, the way my sister looked at me also changed, and she began to hesitate and become wary.
Later she was able to become an oiran in the Jinfeng Tower. Her sister's appearance was not bad, but the education in the past ten years had made a difference. Although she wore patched clothes, she was too eye-catching compared to her sister. My sister...
...even a little afraid that she would stay and compete with her for favor. She held the Yuanbao'er and followed her uncle Guinu back to Jinfenglou, that small fishing village. She has never been there since.
She is a smart person and can find a way to survive. From then on, she knew what she wanted, and she wanted to walk happily along this path of survival. She... would at least live a much better life than her father and mother-in-law.
She stopped thinking about it and became happy. Maybe in the future, a very powerful and talented man with a good family background would marry her home and live a happy life as a concubine.
Of course, there are some things that she has always longed for.
That young lady named Yunzhu, I met her when she was studying with the teacher. She has a good temper and is willing to help others. I heard that she used to be a lady from an official family. Maybe she has the temperament of a lady from an official family.
, she doesn’t have that kind of temperament, she just feels...a little envious.
Of course, they didn't have much interaction with each other. Later, they both became stewards in Jinfeng Tower, and they were just acquaintances. Jin'er felt that he had some admiration for her, and it was hard to explain that admiration clearly. Of course,
Not everyone in Jinfeng Tower is used to Nie Yunzhu's style.
The girl was very hostile to her. She couldn't understand her background, her aloof demeanor, and her unwillingness to be happy. She couldn't understand that she could be as famous as the most popular courtesan even though she was so unhappy.
Even her mother, Yang Xiuhong, seemed dissatisfied with Nie Yunzhu, scolding her occasionally.
Yuan Jin'er, who had untied her knot and saw the future clearly, was very happy. Soon there were more and more Yuan Bao'er around her. She just looked at it all and let out a little corner of her heart to long for the man named Nie Yunzhu.
woman, and then maintained an indifferent nod of acquaintance with her. Later, Nie Yunzhu left Jinfeng Tower as expected, and Yang’s mother was a foreigner.
Of course, for a cold-blooded person, her kindness will not be revealed casually, but she is concerned about these capable women in the building. She once said that in such an environment, if she does not live up to her expectations, she does not deserve to live.
And if you are really not beautiful, then it’s because God doesn’t give you food to eat. In a world like this, there is nothing to complain about.
She scolded her like that in order to make Sister Yunzhu recognize the reality and choose an easy path, but she failed in the end. Even so, she still gave Yunzhu the opportunity to come to the building to teach piano.
However, I will not take that path. Although I have grown up and can clearly understand what I long for in my heart, they are all unnecessary and unreasonable thoughts. I am very smart and will always follow this life.
Walking on the road, or saying that I am a utilitarian person. Sometimes I feel that my father and mother sent me out just to keep myself alive. I just want to live... But when I saw Nie Yunzhu living in embarrassment, I couldn't bear it.
I can't help but want to send some money...
She is a utilitarian person. She convinced herself like this, but in the end, smart people still can't help but think more. After coming out of Jinfeng Tower, was Mother Yang happy or disappointed? Maybe it was both.
What do her father and mother in heaven think? Do they think they have done the right thing, or do they feel that they have given up on their way of life? She doesn't know.
But she lived a very happy life. People who can come out of that environment can easily become close sisters. From then on, she regarded Sister Yunzhu as her closest person. After that, there was another person who would suddenly appear or disappear.
The eccentric man became a barrier between her and Sister Yunzhu. But he also brought her to see scenery that she had never imagined before.
Gradually...
I like to quarrel with him. Watch the way he tells jokes without being serious. I like to see his helpless look because he has taken advantage of Sister Yunzhu. I like to see his proud look after taking advantage of Sister Yunzhu because of his carelessness.
.Does he know that he did it on purpose?
I like to see the way he is calm in front of me and Sister Yunzhu. I like the way he is calm in front of others. I like to hear news about him and hear people praise him. I like the way he is serious. I like the way he protects the Su family.
The way he looks with Sister Yunzhu. I like but don't like the way he looks when he's stained with blood. Does he know that he likes him so much...
It was also because of him and Sister Yunzhu. She gradually saw that the little girl standing in her heart in the wind and snow was holding her Yuan Baoer and kept crying. She was in her heart, herself.
Maybe it was very painful. Unfortunately, the little girl couldn't see it, and she couldn't feel the pain. It was only now that she was gradually able to see her, and it was because of seeing her that she felt that the pain was no longer there.
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"...There's nothing wrong with it. It's a disease but not a disease. I'm feeling depressed, my blood is a little confused, I have something on my mind, and I can't get it out of my mind. My sleep and diet have probably been affected in the past few days, but I think my physical condition is fine. Time has passed.
It doesn’t take long. Just prescribe some medicine and drink it just to trick her... She must have been more lively before, right?"
Under the eaves, golden light shone down, and the middle-aged doctor carrying a medicine box said this. After Ning Yi listened, he looked back at the room, and then nodded: "Well, I am more lively... Is everything okay?"
"Such heart problems are not big or small, but they are small. Some women are actually not small at all. Some women live in deep houses and compounds. They are depressed and cannot be relieved. If they continue for a long time, they will live for ten to eight years."
Doctor Nian gossiped for a while, then smiled and shook his head, "But I think this girl shouldn't have such a problem. Find the crux and enlighten her. If she eats well and sleeps well, she will be fine... I'll wait for the prescription.
I'll have it delivered to you, so I'll take my leave now."
"This is the medical fee...Thank you. Let's go slowly." Ning Yi took out the money from his sleeves, and then watched the doctor go away. He stood under the eaves and looked at the woman who was still sleeping on the bed in the room. For a moment
, raised his head, took a breath, exhaled a long breath, and walked inside.
"Really..."
***************
When I woke up, I realized that I had had that long dream. When I opened my eyes, bright sunlight shone on the door, and light powder swirled in the air. The window on the other side also opened, and the wind blew in.
The cool and bright feeling stirred the books and papers, making a soft clattering sound.
Then she realized that she was sleeping on the bed in Ning Yi's room. There seemed to be a wet towel covering her forehead. It felt slightly cool and very comfortable, but there was still some pain in the place where she hit it before. I'm afraid
Got a bag.
Turning her head, Ning Yi was sitting at the table sorting out his manuscript. Jin'er felt a little guilty when she recalled how she messed up the other person's manuscript, so she didn't dare to move, quietly closed her eyes, and pretended that she hadn't woken up.
.
It’s not just because of the manuscript that I feel I can’t face him. In this case, I just bury my head in the soil and pretend that the world is peaceful...
She was thinking.
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The new title is more appropriate. The previous title with the word "love" was just like "Shang Xia"...