It was about 11 years at the beginning of the year. I wrote an essay in the New Year. Now I go through it. The beginning of the essay is: "I just came out of the house I was renovated a hour ago. The time was 11 o'clock in the morning.
I went out of the sun today, very warm. I bought a house, the house I delivered on December 30, and now I got the kitchen, toilet ... "
Now I still remember some of the moods at the time. I said in the essay that life is much better than before. After the decoration is completed, I must be relieved, and then concentrate on writing these things.
In fact, in the second half of the 10th to 11 years, for more than a year, I have experienced the whole life -so far -maybe it is the most difficult situation.
In order to buy a house, I saved a sum of money. This money was not much. Ten thousand dollars used to pay the down payment of the house. I am a person who is used to planning -most of them are too lazy to move their brains, but if I want to do it, I want to do it.
What you do is usually calculated clearly -that money is just enough down payment, maybe a little bit of balance, but not much.
What encountered it was also very simple. The house had been set in the second half of the year in the second half of the 10 years. In the months before the down payment, an uncle came to borrow money. He made MLM in Guilin and lost a lot of money. At this time, he coincided with his son.
When you get married, there is not much money that you can take out at home. I hope you can help here. My father has some love with him. I asked, the son got married, and the their family only took out 20,000 yuan.
If you come out, I feel that this is done, because according to calculations, even if he does not pay back my money, at the down payment date, the money at hand does not delay the buying house -although the other party vowed to be repaid at the time.
However, if 10,000 is not enough, when the other party still has money here, he must continue to borrow it. My father believes very much about it. He came to help persuade him, saying that the other party is very creditable.
In fact, in the second half of the year, it will be sold. More than 100,000 Yunyun will definitely not delay things here. I believe it, and later borrowed 34,000. I remember this number.
It seems that the pen may not be much money now, and later it became a twisted cable on the neck.
Of course, the money has not been returned in time. Since the difficulty is over, the matter of selling the facade will naturally not mention it again. And I really make the number of money too accurate. When the down payment date is close, there are not many buffers. At that time
After another incident, the bank raised the down payment loan from 20 % to 30 %.
It is difficult to describe the feeling of the time in detail. My parents did not have much income at that time. My manuscript pay for thousands of every month at home was already a high salary -we bought houses in small places, and the price was not high.
As soon as the monthly paid is coming, it is like a small glass of water that encountered a sponge. It can always relieve the problem, but the problem always follows the behind.
Perhaps in the eyes of some people. This is also a small problem, just find someone to help. But for my family at that time, my brother was sick from an early age. In the process of treating him at home, he sold a house and sold it.
Land, friends and relatives who can borrow debt have basically borrowed it, and the other has grown up in this environment since I was a child. For these reasons, I did n’t even read university. It ’s not hungry but buying a house.
I was willing to borrow money with people. So everything has reached the point where it is becoming more and more embarrassed.
This entire process lasted about a year. From the after -buying house to the renovation, I now remember that it is the upside -down day and night.
The front code word or daze -and when the light is turned on, I saw the hair falling on the pillow every day.
At the age of twenty -five years old, he lost a year of hair.
At that time, the huge burden was mainly psychologically. Sometimes I was tired, and I cried in the room -but my fucking did not admit that this was the symbol of my mother.
Now that these are because of the time that has changed. In fact, at the time, if I was willing, I had another way to relieve the situation. I still have another way to go.
Just find a way to speed up the writing of books.
I have finished writing "Hidden Kill" at the time. With a part of the reader's basis, although "Alienation" has been adjusted a lot, the word of mouth is not as good as the end of "Hidden Kill", but the actual subscription volume is more than "Hidden Kill" updated when it is updated.
There are still many people. When writing "Hidden Kill", there are many sounds that ask me to speed up the update. When "Alienation" is more. Then, during that time, a large part of my psychological pressure was actually
From that book.
Now if I want to describe it accurately, the pressure is: I am afraid that I will compromise with people one day, or compromise with other things.
I always know that people will look for meaningful creatures for their own state. For example, if you are addicted to the game, you will say that I have gained friendship in them; you are more than sports, you will say that those who do not exercise are all mothers;
You can drink, and you say that you do n’t drink a man; you are a underworld, you will say that we are preaching and the spirit of righteousness; if you write a book, you write quickly, you will say that I have professional ethics;
We are just writing webs; you only ask for money, "Isn't it just for money in life".
If one day, I speed up, and even treat this career with perfunctory attitude, I will also find this kind of reasons for me: I have more readers, more people praise me, I have praised me.
I have professional ethics, and ... Since so many people are boasting, obviously I have written a good book.
It is far more coming to find the meaning for a person to find meaning for their own position.
In fact, during that time, when I wrote alienation, I was more than usual than usual. On the one hand, the pressure and anxiety affected the state of writing books. Second, under the influence of pressure and anxiety, I was more worried that I was unknowingly.
I chose a way that made me feel relaxed.
That may not be my closest to compromise.
From one or three years to the present, I have experienced a lot of things during my writing. This is not a sober and orderly year. Sometimes I even feel that this year is a bit muddy. Mainly outside of writing. I see it. I see it. I see.
There are many people and things -I started to see some worlds that may be successful people, see some "successful" channels, and see the stairs that I might be on -maybe in the shaking writing of so many years, I
I have accumulated a little bit of things ... right ...
I was affected by it.
I am not a tough generation or a man who is born to support the people who do not know the suffering of the people. Every moment I doubt whether some of my persistence is wrong, and every moment I worry about whether I can still persist, I doubt myself again
Has it lost a lot of beliefs at the beginning. And I didn't know myself, writing a book is so trembling and doubtful for me.
Regarding the concept of writing books, I often talk to people -Whenever someone asks, I will say it, I want to write the best thing, so I hope that it can be brewed better and perfect.
I hope that after writing, someone reads more than serialized. Because it is a complete work after writing, I like to write a book, so I get satisfaction, so I am willing to pay a part of the money.
If the author encounters the author, there are usually several types of answers.
… Writing books is like this.
I wrote a web article, what do you find so much meaning.
I usually Nuo Nuo nodded.
In fact, some people may think that I am clear and look down on others. But I actually agree with the first two types. No matter what kind of behavior, I think, to do a good job, you have to have your own characteristics, I update the fastest!
Readers are satisfied, this is the ability. I update the most stable, and readers are satisfied. This is also outstanding. I am the best way I think of the reader's feelings.
There must always be one in the direction. After doing it, it is worthy of admiration. Although I don't choose the direction with them, I also admire them. Only for "we just write web articles", I will somewhat slander, but someone else’s, but someone else’s, but someone else will be slandered, but someone else will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will be slandered, but others will have some abdomen.
It's not a lot of things.
When others talked about these, no matter how reasonable they felt, I didn't move in my heart. But in the past two years, because the social face of contact gradually expanded, I sometimes be discouraged.
The power of money, a better life, I can see more in these days. And I have been nearly thirty, I should find a girlfriend, prepare to get married, and buy a house.
I do n’t know when I will get sick, I have to pay the next money, I have to buy an old -age insurance for my parents, and so on. I do n’t buy the car, because I basically only know QQ ...
Look, there are so many things.
I might be easier.
I think so occasionally.
Sometimes some people say that bananas can only write this kind of pretentious text. If he is updated like others, will there be current results? In fact, I sometimes yy.
It will only be better. I have seen what I have seen in these years. The requirements of readers are really not high.
What I usually do is tangled. In fact, when I have very ability, I put the standard to eleven points. I want to surpass myself at any time and strangle a little, so that I can slowly improve.
When I was 50 years old, I wanted to write a book that made myself satisfied, so these decades are all practicing pens. If you can improve, the tangled for half a year will have results. If you are mediocre, write a million words
, Also waste.
These are also old -fashioned, but in this year, the number of confused times in my heart is indeed the most. I do n’t know what I do now.
What should I do in the future? What should I do?
Well, these complaints are so far.
In the second half of last year, I completed the section of Water Margin Liangshan with a fast update -that was not the result of compromise, but because of long -term brewing, and seeking balance between updates and quality is also what I did from hidden killing.
—— After finishing the plot of Liangshan, I was ready to continue writing, but there was a problem at that time, and serious problems: After the protagonist broke Liangshan, there was a span plot in the whole. There was no picture in my mind.
I write a book. The plot is usually composed of the pictures or feelings to be expressed, but the fifth episode is the episode I want to write now. Except for a general concept I need to express, everything in my mind is everything in my mind.
No. I know where the plot will develop — the plot is very large, and the inheritance transition is very complicated. The current outline is quite complete. But before the next picture, this period is all empty window period. I need one or two to two.
It is filled with a large bridge as a bridge like Hangzhou or Liangshan, but at that time, I only knew what I needed to express, but there was no exquisite specific plot.
The reason why I vowed at that time was because I thought of a possible way to be feasible. I read some books in the Song Dynasty. I studied some celebrities. I think it takes very exquisite ideas when shaping the protagonist or the main supporting role, but Tang Ke Wu Min Geng Nanzhong Zhongzhong
These secondary supporting roles can also have a lot of dramas in the future. I can use a large number of ordinary and clever plot distribution lines without such exquisite plots.
When the quantitative change causes qualitative changes, so I have a lot of plots to write -anyway, they also need to write.
But then I still failed. When I stared at these various supporting roles to find "general clever" plots, they did not appear at all.
An Jianfu ... I think of blood. But there are several episodes when these plots are about to write ...
In fact, after I thought about solving the update problem, I could also write a discussion text of "How Brother Makes the Life Smooth and Heavier" ...
One thing I want to repent: I am really lazy recently.
Lazy started in March. I was breaking in the past, and occasionally explained the reason. Occasionally, I did not explain it. I said shamelessly: "The reason I said is true because there is no need to deceive people, because it is because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheating, because it is cheated, because it is cheated, because it is cheated.
People. I can say nothing. "In the past, I was ascended. No matter how long I broke, I was really entangled with text and plot. When I couldn't write it, the most painful thing was me.
Insomnia, I ca n’t eat things. When I can write it, everything is normal.
However, my brother has gone out of work in March.
My brother was nine and a half years younger than me. He had a lot of death when he was a child. He got nephropathy syndrome, and my family was greatly affected. The age was so big. We are basically people of the two eras.
I taught me a lot. Our brothers are very different in personality. He is obedient, but he does not like to study. After graduating from junior high school, he took a secondary school after graduating from junior high school.
I do n’t want to go to work, I will go out to work, I will give you up within one year. He went out for two months and went back to study again for more than a year. I told him again.
The time you think clearly, there is no chance. He still dropped out of school last year.
However, I don't worry about this. I used to feel that I was too introverted, so I subconsciously taught him to make more friends. Now he is a friend who has a friend who has a dead party everywhere.
Welcome, this way to enter the society, it must be enough. More lessons require him to know more after you experience more bumps, but men always have to withstand these.
He played at home for a year, and went out to work at the end of March today. He made a streamline in a factory of a Changfeng Group. Occasionally, he often showed off how powerful he was.
You can do twice the workload. The people who are tired are miserable. The assembly line has been stopped repeatedly. Later, he ran over and said to him, "We are timed but not pieces."
I hope he can get out of a life that is different from me.
When I realized this, I thought, it may be a new day. For a long time, our family has not been good. Since my brother is sick, everything has been turning. My parents are very powerful.
People, even if they didn't make much money, they still cured the illness that was almost impossible to cure the younger brother. Even at the most difficult time, I did not give up. If it was my responsibility, I think me too.
Come with gritted teeth.
Sometimes, when I persuaded me to compromise, I would think of the year when I lost my hair. I think the hardest time is here. How difficult can it be now?
On the day of March 25, Diablo 3 opened a new expansion film. I was addicted to more than half a month.
I have n’t been addicted to the game for many years.
Over the years, even during the period of my favorite World of Warcraft, I couldn't play for two hours at a time, and there would always be a voice in my heart: there is no code word yet.
Sorry, it's really lazy recently.
On April 12th, a friend was invited to participate in an event called Bailiyi. On the first day, I walked from Changsha to Xiangtan, and the next day from Xiangtan to Zhuzhou.
Then, then
Of course, I did n’t finish it. Most of these activities participated in college students. On the first day of the journey of more than 60 kilometers, I walked for more than 50 kilometers. Although I did n’t finish, I was very happy. Wow, I did n’t have been for so many years.
Exercise, I can still go so far ...
The two legs below the waist the next day were painful to die. In the process, I listened to the song and probably determined the plot of the entire fifth episode.
, Not exactly the feeling of the song, only take part.
To this day, the plot has not been completely clarified, mainly because I am still outside. I am in Guangzhou, listen to Sun Yanzi's concert tomorrow, and go home the day after tomorrow. The concert was requested by a classmate.
With special feelings, my classmates said, "The first listening concert will be dedicated to Sun Yanzi." I also like Sun Yanzi.
"Only you can, let yourself glow."
I really don't want to write so slowly.
I am twenty -nine years old.
I just started. I will try to write faster, but it doesn't matter, we may have decades, and we can get along slowly.
Ah, my weird temperament, let's not change it.
This is to salute.
Angry banana, in the early morning of April 26, 2014.