New Year's Essay: When Elephants Return to the Plains
My family is eating out and I have to go out in the afternoon. After turning 20, another ten years have passed. This may be the first time that I can't hide in my room on New Year's Eve to play games and write. In the past year
One year is an extremely important year for me. Of course, it was only recently that I realized very strongly that every year in the past was an extremely important year for me.
My twenties, on the whole, were a decade of panic and embarrassment. I didn’t show off when I should have, thought too much when I shouldn’t have thought, and didn’t make mistakes when I should have. These are all reflected in my past essays.
Already said.
A good life should probably be like this: in the first half of life, we experience interesting things one by one, slowly accumulate the mistakes we should make, and the embarrassments we should have, and wait until the end of life.
In the second half, start subtraction and eliminate unnecessary things one by one.
A person's twenties should be about addition, but I have already started to subtract, and almost everything that can interfere with my thoughts has been thrown away. Looking back now, during the entire decade, except for the beginning when I went out to work,
In the end, all that was left was the tug-of-war between writing books and making money. You read that right, writing good books and making big money are, to a large extent, opposites.
When I have enough rational thinking ability, I often regret this. Of course, there is no need to regret it now.
After getting married, I often feel that I have entered a completely different stage than before. There are many things that I can let go of and not think about at all, such as women, temptations, and possibilities. Of course, there are more things that I have never been exposed to before.
Trivial things are coming one after another. My wife said this morning that the two months since we got married feel like twenty years have passed. Indeed, there have been too many changes.
For example, when I was coding this text, she was combing me into a silly shape with a comb, which made me very confused whether to hit her or not.
Well, I am not writing this to show my affection, but... I have often wondered recently whether my life is about to enter the second half. This often makes me panic, because the first half is so fast.
.If the first half passes so quickly, will one day suddenly one day in the future, I stand on the boundary of sixty years old, and suddenly find that the second half will also come to an end. I feel very clearly that there will definitely be such a day.
.
So I thought of my parents. When I first met them, they were still young, full of vitality and edges. Now they have gray hairs on their heads. They were very happy to see me getting married, and I will be there from now on.
This family has moved out and started a new family with my wife. Sooner or later, I will return home and see them getting older. Sooner or later, I will send them away, and then recall their youthful vitality, and interact with them.
A happy smile at this time.
I also thought of everyone I met in my life. I thought of the old lady sitting in the sun at the gate of the community about half a year ago. I suddenly wanted to write "Hidden Killing" and add a few chapters at the end to write about Jia Ming and Ling Ling.
When Jing and the others were forty and fifty, I wrote about their support for each other when they were sixty or seventy years old. I write an article every few years. We once saw them grow up, and then we can also see them.
Grow old slowly. In this way, we will see the passage of their entire lives. I thought about these articles for a long time, and then I thought, whether it is also cruel to let everyone see the warmth and mutual care of them in this life. When
When I was seventy years old, I wrote about whether their former warmth would become a kind of cruelty to readers. Then I hesitated to write.
Of course, the main reason why I didn't write it later was because of the severe crackdown. In order to avoid suspicion, I temporarily blocked "Hidden Killing". Well, I will consider writing it after I have more understanding of these things.
I feel afraid of this, but it is undeniable that after getting married, all the regrets I have had can be reset to zero. Even if I enter the second half of the stage, I can easily start over again. As Haruki Murakami said
Like that, one day, elephants will return to the wild.
Even though the wilderness at this time is no longer the same one, no matter what, it has finally come to the wilderness again.
Fortunately, compared to the ignorance and powerlessness I felt when I was in that wilderness, at this time, I have my own career, my own three views, and my own direction. Needless to say, I don't have to leave it to fate at all.
I think of you too.
When I reach sixty years old one day, where will you be? Among my readers, there are those who are much older than me, some of whom are currently in junior high school or high school. What will you look like in a few decades?
I can't imagine the changes in the past few decades. The only thing I can be sure of is that that day will come sooner or later.
I only write books. I will continue to write books and improve my writing skills. In the next twenty to thirty years, as long as my thinking is still energetic, this effort will not stop. This is
This is the goal I set in the new year when I turn thirty.
"One day the elephants will return to the plains, and I will describe the world in more beautiful words."
Time is the most cruel and ruthless. I hope everyone can grasp themselves at this moment.