I couldn't speak, the intense pain crawled all over my body like ants, and my consciousness was wandering between darkness and light.
I felt as if my feet no longer belonged to me. I could barely feel their existence, and I couldn't use any strength. I could only let myself collapse on the gunner's seat like a rag doll.
I felt myself being emptied out little by little, as if something was constantly disappearing from my body.
Will I die here? Just like countless martyrs and comrades in the same car with me?
I once thought that I was not afraid of anything. I was already prepared to sacrifice, just like my brother and my father who sacrificed their lives for this great Patriotic War.
But I was wrong. It wasn't until I was walking on the edge of dissipation of consciousness that I realized that the fear of death had swept through my body like a bucket of ice water being poured from my head.
Reason tells me that I should not tremble, grieve, or fear for sacrifice, but my body and my thoughts are not controlled by reason, like a bursting flood. I never thought that my instinct would be so afraid of death. I thought I
Passion for the motherland and extreme resentment against the Nazis can defeat and erase all of this, but this is not the case.
It once again proved my ignorance and youth, just as I once did not understand why Andrei admired Comrade Sir so much.
Maybe some things are just like this for me, and I can only understand them through personal experience, but I obviously have no chance to admit it anymore.
"I don't want to die. Someone, someone, come and save me."
The "last words" I whispered with all my strength were so weak, but who could have imagined that it would actually come true.
"There's someone alive! There's someone alive, hurry up! Hygienist, doctor! Over here, come over here! Someone come up and give me a hand, hurry up!"
"Be careful! Oh my god, her feet are almost rotten. Be careful when you carry her out."
"Here, get on the stretcher! The car is set up and ready to pick up people. Hurry!"
I could feel that there were many comrades around me who were busy trying to save my life. I wanted to say something and tell them that there were other comrades in the car lying in a pool of blood, but what I heard before I spoke was the most miserable thing.
narration ending.
"Is there anyone alive in the car?"
"It's gone. The commander, loader, and driver all died, and only the gunner survived. We have to find a way to get the body out of the car. Several of them are a little stiff, so hurry up."
"Okay, I'll go find the rope and be back soon. Wait for me here."
I'm the only "lucky one" and that's how it ends.
But for a moment I didn’t even know what to say, I didn’t know how to express my state of mind at the moment, I couldn’t see anything, and I didn’t even know whether I was half-awake or dreaming.
Until the words of the military doctor rang in my ears.
"Your consciousness is gradually recovering, but don't try to open your eyes to see. Your eyes are injured and require follow-up treatment. I will give you an emergency bandage first, and arrange for surgery immediately when you get to the hospital. Hold on."
I don't know what happened to my eye, I just feel it hurts.
I could feel layer after layer of bandages being put on my head, and my fear was wrapped around my heart layer after layer like these bandages. I never even thought about losing my light one day.
How to face it.
"Doctor, my eyes, please save my eyes! I can still fight, I still have my hands, I can still control the main gun, I can't lose my eyes!"
I was so emotional at that time that I couldn't even say that I grabbed the doctor's hand tightly. It might be more accurate to say "pinch".
"Please believe in us, believe in the medical team of the leader, and hold on to yourself too! Comrade!"
"Carry it away, quickly! Send it to the ambulance quickly, it's not far from here! Move quickly!"
Someone was carrying me forward, but I had lost anything to hold on to. Only fear seemed to linger in my hands with nowhere to rest. I lost my vision and touch. I had never felt so helpless until I
The remaining hearing heard that extremely familiar name.
"Comrade Commander is here, please brace yourself and pay attention!"
"Comrade Commander is talking to the doctor, let's keep walking, don't stop!"
Maybe I will lose my light? Maybe I will leave the leader? Maybe I will spend the rest of my life with disabled legs and blindness? In the second half of my life, I will only be surrounded by coldness and loneliness and die alone?
At that moment I felt an unprecedented fear. I was afraid of darkness, of loneliness, of being forever cut off from everything I knew. I had lost all my close relatives, even my mother died in the ruthless bombing of the Germans.
I don’t want to lose the only thing that makes me feel warm.
I have to do something, otherwise I will regret it for the rest of my life, even if there is no result, I still have to do it.
"Comrade Commander, I want to see you, Comrade Commander, I am here!"
Gradually regaining a part of my consciousness allowed me to shout with all the strength I could muster. I hope that all this will be effective, and I hope that I will have no regrets in the countdown to my possible military career.
Just like when I was selected as a leader, luck favored me again, and my desire when I was lonely and even desperate was once again fulfilled.
"Yes, I am here, I am Malashenko."
"Don't be afraid, Comrade Commander is here, I'm right by your side."
I still couldn't see anything, there was only endless darkness in my bandaged eyes.
But at that moment, I was no longer afraid. What I held in my hands was the warmth that I had been looking forward to but had never had. Those strong hands with the gloves off tightly grasped my raised hand.
His left hand was inseparable even though the stretcher was still moving without slowing down at all.
"Comrade Division Commander, I... I didn't do a good enough job. I failed to defeat the enemy I faced. As a result, I lost precious tanks and failed to save any comrades."
"No, you did a good job, Ekakina. I saw with my own eyes that you used the main gun to hit the enemy hard. The enemy died, and the enemy's iron can also died. This is what a tank soldier should do and
I have done it before and I am still doing it now. You are my comrade, my comrade-in-arms, and the most important person to me. Don’t give up hope! You will definitely get through it! Come on! Huh?”
I don't know how I mustered up the courage at that moment, but when I heard "get in the ambulance" and the door opening, I knew I couldn't hesitate any longer. This might be the first time in my life that I said this face to face.
Last chance, it doesn't matter even if I can't see his face, because I can feel him beside me, and that's enough.
"Comrade Teacher, you have always been my role model and the force that makes me move forward and persevere. Please don't abandon me. I have nothing left. My diary is filled with photos of you cut out from newspapers.
, you are the only hope and reason for me to continue to struggle."
"I, I, like you, I fell in love with you, Comrade Commander. You are irreplaceable in my heart. Please don't leave me behind. I can still fight. Please don't drive me out of the leadership division."
Malashenko, who had sent the person all the way to the ambulance, really didn't know what to say. This situation was really embarrassing and unexpected.
Now he is no longer holding the little girl's hand, it is the other girl who is holding his hand and not letting go. He is lying on the stretcher that is almost being sent into the ambulance compartment, crying and shouting again, and he is excited.
It makes people feel a little helpless.
But even so, Malashenko still tried his best to comfort him. He knew how scary the current situation was for a girl who was only 23 years old. Even if she was being followed by Kulbalov
The same goes for the "excellent gunner" whom I mentioned by name when I was chatting and reporting.
"Don't worry, Yekakina, you will be fine. When you get to the field hospital, you will be treated with the best field medical conditions in the entire Red Army. I will personally ask Karachev to save your eyes. An excellent gunner will never be able to
Lost light."
"I promise you that no matter what happens, you will not be ordered to leave the leadership division. I will also go to the hospital to see you, rest assured, heal your eyes, and then rejoin the team to join the battle. I guarantee there will be a chance!
The comrades of the leadership division will always wait for your return!"
Although the result was a bit difficult to end and some troubles occurred, fortunately, Malashenko finally calmed down the emotional girl and got her into the car smoothly.
And stood there looking at the dusty ambulance all the way, stepping on the accelerator, speeding away towards the field hospital. I couldn't calm down for a long time, and I was really thinking about something I had never thought about before.
"Tsk tsk, the heartthrob comrade is causing trouble again. I asked you, can you get married as soon as possible? You don't know how many little girls will be harmed in your unmarried state, why can't you imitate me? My son can help his mother.
Collecting clothes."
To say that Iushkin is not the only one who usually doesn't keep his mouth shut, there is also Lavrinenko who is even more lax. Saying this at this time directly makes our old Comrade Ma's beard crooked with anger.
Well, I haven't shaved for more than half a month and I do have a beard, but it's not that dense.
"I said you can't say something humane? Is this the time to say something like this? It ruins the scenery! The atmosphere has been ruined by you, Sukka! Besides, can you blame me? Your eye saw me hooking up.
Have you seen me sending love letters to others? Do you know that you have to be reasonable in everything?"
Malashenko turned around and walked away while talking. I don't know when Lavrinenko got an opportunity and ran to Malashenko's side. He followed him all the way, chatting as he walked.
"Ah, right, right, right, you didn't hook up with the little girl, and you didn't write a love letter to her, but you can't control her thoughts. You're in charge of the military, how can you control your mind and your thoughts? You're such a great hero.
If you are not married and have no children, why don’t we let the girls think about it? What if you have a fiancée? What if you have a partner? Some teachers like you are married and even take care of their lovers. "
"I'm not saying that, just like you, who else can the girls think of if they don't want you? Who else can you blame if you don't blame me for this? If you don't believe it, go to the field hospital and ask about it yourself, ask Karachev, and take a look.
How many girls there regard their comrades as their dream lovers and romantic partners. I picked up the diary and shook it, and out of ten photos fell out, eight of which were of their comrades, and two of them were of my parents.
."
".you!"
"What am I? I am telling the truth. Since the fact is a problem, we must face it bravely and actively solve it. We cannot delay it or leave it alone. Isn't this what Comrade Political Commissar has always taught us?"
I wanted to refute something, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I just felt speechless. I didn't know when to speak, and I couldn't close my mouth half-open. It was really embarrassing.
At the end of the day, Malashenko, who really couldn't continue talking, could only wave his hand and forcefully put the matter behind him, turning the page.
"I don't have time to talk to you about all this. This is a war, not about the love between children."
"Go and tally the casualty report. I will see it after dinner. Oh, by the way, speaking of dinner, send someone to ask how the preparations are. Tell the political commissar comrades not to go down to eat, and the troops at the front will eat on the spot.
, bring the food while it’s hot, if you’re late and let the soldiers starve, I’ll blame you.”
Seeing that Malashenko's "disregarding" attitude was rising again, what else could Lavrinenko say, knowing that he had offended his uncle? Then he could only salute and say, "Yes, sir."
"Comrade", and then he quickly recognizes his identity and runs away, and then silences his comrade and teacher. If he fails to protect himself, he may be punished by cleaning the toilet.
After sending Lavrinenko away, Malashenko, who was thinking about something in his heart, couldn't help but stop and look back at the direction where the ambulance just left. After sighing, he just choked speechlessly.