Chapter 31 I am willing to defend my territory and restore my borders (1)
"What?"
"Father-in-law?"
"Don't lie to me, you bastard!"
The five thousand vanguard selected for use by Lan Yu and Zhu Gaoxu were Shu soldiers.
The road to Shu has been difficult since ancient times. Shu soldiers are good at climbing mountains and endure hardships and are obedient. Moreover, these soldiers are all selected from western Sichuan. Because they are close to Xifan, the soldiers in western Sichuan are even more brave and good at fighting.
However, they were guest troops in this battle. They were thousands of miles away from home and caught up with the Chinese New Year. The soldiers were homesick and already a little tired of fighting.
At the beginning, hundreds of families shouted in the camp to be selected as vanguards. The good-tempered Shu soldiers had a look of resentment in their eyes, and those who were tougher were already making a loud noise, and Ge Laozi, who was called a bastard and a bitch, kept scolding him.
But the next second, when the hundred households told their mother-in-law what to do after the battle, the entire camp fell into silence for several seconds. Then, suddenly countless soldiers swarmed in and almost trampled the hundreds of households to death on the spot.
"How dare you explain it clearly? Who can tell us how to give birth to a mother-in-law?"
"If you want to be rewarded, I'll be rewarded first. I've been a soldier for ten years, and I'm still a fucking bachelor!"
"Where is the mother-in-law? Come on, where is the mother-in-law?"
~~
"shut up!"
At the critical moment, the commander of the Western Sichuan Guard and his soldiers shouted angrily and drew their swords to separate the soldiers who had fallen into madness.
Baihu, who was delivering the order, wiped the saliva from his face, stood on a box, and said loudly, "Shuai Lan said that he chose us soldiers from Western Sichuan as the vanguard to go over the mountains to fight!"
"He said that if we win this battle, everyone will be rewarded."
"Anyone who beheads a thief will be given a wife after the war!"
The eyes of the Shu soldiers who were listening below were bright, like stars, and more and more soldiers were gathering over.
"One for each person? Where can we get so many?" Someone among the Shu soldiers whispered to themselves.
These words immediately aroused the approval of the surrounding robes. Seeing that everyone was about to start arguing again, the hundred households quickly continued to speak loudly.
"Listen clearly, only brothers who are capable of beheading have the mother-in-law method!"
"One head and one wife, which can be cashed in after the war and will never be defaulted. However, this woman cannot be from Shu. She just... just grab a woman from this stupid place and make her your mother-in-law!"
As long as you have a mother-in-law, who cares where you are from?
As long as he can breathe, there is no fear that he will not be able to have a baby. He has been a soldier all his life, and the biggest thing in his heart is to have a mother-in-law and a group of babies in the house.
Ge Lao Tzu, what happened to the vassal woman? Is she a woman?
The commander of the Western Sichuan Guard walked up to a soldier and asked loudly, "Do you have a wife?"
The soldier, who was in his thirties, couldn't help but shake his head when he heard the words.
"Do you want it?" the commander asked again.
"Who doesn't want it? It's the bastard who doesn't want it!" the soldier shouted, "I'm not afraid of your jokes. I have been thinking about my mother-in-law for more than thirty years. I have two brothers at home, and I used my military salary to get it for my eldest brother.
Wife, I can only watch."
"You don't know, when I see you..."
"Go, go, go!" Commander Xi Sichuan pulled him away, "You are inhuman, even my sister-in-law is worried about you!"
After saying that, he shouted to the soldiers, "Brothers, you have heard it. There is no joke in the army. After the battle, merit will be judged, and those who have merit will be rewarded!"
"That's not right, one has the head and the other has the wife, so what if I chop off two of them?" someone shouted.
Baihu smiled and said, "That's good. Lan Shuai said that if anyone cuts off two, give him a young one!" After saying that, he cleared his throat and said, "As you know, there are old wives and young ones.
Yes, some are young and some are tender..."
"Then what if I chop three of them?" Someone jumped up and shouted with bloodshot eyes.
"Shuai Lan said that if you want to behead brothers above level three, you can choose first!" Baihu shouted.
"What a challenge?" The soldiers were stunned, with inexplicable excitement in their eyes.
"A row of young women are placed in front of you, you can choose whichever one you like!" Baihu waved his arms and shouted loudly, "After you choose, I will give you a fucking bridal chamber on the spot. But the ugly words are ahead, the bridal chamber can only be fought.
Before the war is over, you must first be placed in the camp. Only after the war can you understand how to live at home!"
"Then...that..." a bearded veteran shouted, "What if I died in the battle just after I got my wife? Then my wife will be divided again.
..."
"Sell your mother for money!" the commander of the Western Sichuan Guards yelled, "Why don't you chop all the barbarians to death first? What is the knife in your hand for? If you chop them all to death, you idiot
Mom doesn’t have to die!”
"That's right!" The veteran nodded repeatedly and shouted excitedly, "Have them all hacked to death!"
These soldiers from western Sichuan are different from other Shu soldiers in that their women are too young and old.
"What if...if I cut down five, how about a reward?" A young soldier shouted, "Should I reward two?"
As soon as he finished speaking, an officer wearing uniforms next to him stepped up and kicked him, "What do you think is so beautiful? It doesn't matter whether you have the ability or not!"
These words immediately caused laughter in the camp.
The war-weariness they felt just now was gone at this moment. Many soldiers were licking their tongues with bloodthirsty, wishing they could rush over now, kill all the barbarians, and then embrace their wives happily.
"That...who is Commander Lan?" Suddenly, someone in the crowd shouted, "There is no commander named Lan in Sichuan?"
The father-son army was fought by brothers, and the army was very territorial. Generals from outside could not command the troops easily, let alone win the love of the soldiers.
"You are drinking too much yellow soup, and Lan Shuai doesn't even know it!" The hundred households cursed, "Lan Shuai is Lan Yu, Liang Guogong Lan Yu of the Ming Dynasty. The founding hero of the Ming Dynasty, he conquered Yunnan in the first place.
, he was still fishing in the sea, and almost caught the Tatar Emperor..."
The soldiers were a little confused. It sounded very majestic, but it didn't seem to have much to do with them.
When the commander in western Sichuan saw this, he shouted, "Lan Shuai slept with the wife of Emperor Beiyuan... and then the woman died!"
"Hiss!" The surrounding people suddenly gasped, and all the soldiers had admiration in their eyes.
"The emperor's woman? That's the emperor's woman!"
For these big-head soldiers, robbing the emperor and sleeping with his wife is definitely their highest pursuit in life. No matter how many achievements they make, they can't be as shocking as sleeping with the emperor's woman, and they still sleep to death!
"Shuai Lan has never lost a battle in his life. These Shu soldiers choose us because they think highly of us. Sons and gentlemen, if there are too many of them, I won't tell you who will get sick on the battlefield. Don't say I'm merciless, I'll just chop off his head!"
The soldiers seemed not to have heard the commander's shout, and were still recalling Lan Yu's feat of sleeping with the emperor's wife.
"I..." A soldier suddenly yelled like a maniac, "I can sleep with your mother, and I would rather die!"
The commander in western Sichuan squinted and said angrily, "Which queen do you want to sleep with?"
"It doesn't matter who she is, as long as she's the emperor's wife?"
"Which emperor?"
"Who cares which emperor..."
"You bitch!" The commander kicked the man away, "You bitch, if you continue to speak nonsense, I'll chop you down first!"
After saying that, he cleared his throat and continued shouting, "For no other reason than for my mother-in-law, we can't lose our Shu soldiers. Crossing mountains and ridges is our specialty. Bring four days of dry food, ropes, axes and saws to fight our way out."
Blood comes from the road."
"Brothers, when the war is over, everyone will have a better life. At this time next year, your family will be full of babies. If the war doesn't go well, you will bury your bones here and become a lonely soul without any incense.
Wild ghost!"
"You tell me, should I become a father next year, or should I be a lonely ghost?"