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A small, dark, low-rise bungalow in a second-hand market on the outskirts of the city.
The door was wide open, and the stove in the room was not easy to burn and was full of soot.
Zhang Mozi squatted on the threshold, rolling a dry cigarette.
After rolling it for a long time and sniffing it under my nose several times, I finally couldn't bear to light it and clamped it on my ear.
"Zhang Mozi, you useless loser, why don't you die for a good person?"
A rude female voice came from the room. Listening to this voice, I was filled with resentment.
Zhang Mouse turned his head and shouted into the room.
"What's going on again? Can't you please calm down during the Chinese New Year?"
When Zhang Mouse dared to reply, the woman in the room raised her voice again, like a rooster crowing.
"You still dare to mention the New Year? Do you still know about the New Year? Do you want to starve me to death?
If you don't want to serve me, just get out of here, get away, don't let me see you."
Zhang Mouse didn't reply immediately this time, walked into the kitchen and poked at the smoking stove.
"Hey, the firewood is damp. Today there is a bad south wind, so the stove is not easy to burn.
I'll cook for you when the fire comes up."
With that said, he scraped out half a bowl of rice porridge from the rice cooker with a spoon, brought it cold to the room.
The windows in the house were covered with several layers of plastic to keep them warm, so the light was extremely dark.
There was a double bed against the wall, with an unkempt middle-aged woman sitting on it.
He was skinny and skinny, and with the faint light it could be seen that his face was a sickly sallow complexion.
I don’t know how the loud voice just came out of this sickly body.
Zhang Mozi looked at the woman and felt sad in his heart.
The spiritual energy in the human world is exhausted, and all the lost spiritual energy cannot be replenished.
The wheel of fate in the three realms does not rotate, and the blessings and wishes that should have been received cannot be accepted because of the disorder.
The wounds on the soul have not been healed, coupled with the overdraft of the body, the vitality has been exhausted.
As this goes up and down, the body will become weaker and weaker.
He walked to the bed and handed the cold porridge to the woman.
"Sichen, please put down the mat first. I'll cook as soon as the fire comes up."
Sichen took the rice bowl and took a sip. He felt the coldness of the rice porridge and was filled with anger.
He threw the rice bowl against the wall with all his strength. The cold rice porridge was like slugs, covering the wall, and the bowl shattered into pieces.
“You’re just going to give me this cold porridge?
During the Chinese New Year, you give me cold porridge?
I feel depressed when I see you, so don’t be a fan of me anymore.
Go away, if you go away, I won't have to drink swill every day."
Zhang Moazi watched Sichen throw the bowl and could have stopped him, but he didn't stop him and just watched her vent her anger.
"We don't have many bowls at home, why bother?"
"Why should I?
That rat, we said, why do you bother?
Can you just let me die?
Why do you want me to suffer?
I don't want to live another day.
I can't stand it anymore, I really can't stand it anymore.
I beg you, let me die."
The more Sichen talked, the more excited she became, and she began to cry heartbreakingly.
Zhang Mozi stood by the bed with a numb expression, as if he was completely numb to what happened today, and he didn't know how many times he had experienced it.
"I don't care, you can't die in front of me, I won't agree."
When Sichen heard this, she suddenly stopped crying and looked straight at Zhang Mouse.
"Okay, then you promise me you won't go there tonight, okay?"
Zhang Mouse looked at the Mickey doll in the corner of the house and whispered.
"Fifty yuan a day. If we don't have money, what can we eat? We still have to go."
Sichen's calm mood just now became explosive again.
"Zhang Mozi, don't do this with me. You know that's not what I'm talking about."
"As long as we are alive, we have to go. That is our mission."
Hearing the word "mission", Sichen went crazy and stretched out his hand to beat Zhang Mouzi's thin body.
"It's been three years, and it will only be three years since you left. Are you the only one who has a mission?
You are the only one who takes your mission seriously, are you great?
Who has cared about you? Who has cared for you? Who has thanked you?"
As Sichen beat him, Zhang Mouse's body kept shaking, without dodging or stopping, and his eyes were extremely firm.
"This is my life. I have to accept it and don't need others to feel sorry for me."
"I feel bad, I really feel bad."
When Zhang Mozi heard this, he was moved and thought of many things.
From high spirits, to drawing lots to fill the life wheel, to all the hardships in this world.
Every scene is like a knife, a dull knife cutting flesh, it really hurts.
"Sichen, it's okay, I can still bear it.
I'll get off work in a while, I'll advance two days' salary and buy a piece of meat to eat, and you'll wait for me.
Let’s eat something good today, it’s the Chinese New Year after all.”
Sichen no longer beat Zhang Mouse, but pulled his clothes tightly.
"Brother, please let me die, I really can't drag you down anymore.
If I die, your life will be easier, and you won't have to endure it so much."
Brother, how long has it been since Sichen called me brother?
Zhang Moazi couldn't control his emotions when he heard the word "big brother".
In the past few years, all the money I earned has been used to support Sichen. Without her, I would indeed be better off.
But, no, I am the eldest brother, I can't just let it go.
One hand wants to catch Sichen, and the other hand wants to catch the mission. It is too difficult and too tiring for him.
"You still know that I am your eldest brother, so stop making trouble. You know my temper."
Sichen weakly let go of his hand, failing again this time.
During the final struggle, Sichen didn't want to give up and whispered.
"Brother, your mission is also my mission.
Not everything is done by you alone.
Please, eat me.
Let me do my best one last time, otherwise you won't be able to come back today."
Zhang Mozi looked at Sichen in horror, and what he saw on that sallow face was no joke.
Sichen was serious, she really wanted to eat her.
Yes, I have been carrying it for another three years, and the old wounds have not healed and new ones have been added.
It is already difficult to complete the mission with this body.
If you eat Sichen's soul, your injuries will be healed, right?
Do you have the ability to come back whole?
Grabbing it with both hands is already unrealistic at the moment.
So in order to seize the mission, should we let go of Sichen?
Sichen carries a very important weight in Zhang Mozi's heart, otherwise he wouldn't have survived these few years.
However, mission is the meaning of Zhang Mozi’s existence, isn’t it more important?
At this moment, after Sichen made this suggestion, Zhang Mozi was vague.
He wiped his face quickly and did not give an answer, just leaving a sentence.
"I'm going to work first. When I come back, let's eat meat and New Year's Eve dinner together."
After saying that, he picked up the stuffed toy and ran out of the door as if he was running away.
Sichen looked at the window, which had blocked most of the light, and couldn't see much light.
Just like my current mood, it's dark.
I hope brother will think about it carefully.
If I could really help him in the end, my death would not be in vain. Sichen laughed inadvertently.