"You know, Xiaosheng?" Sister Chen and Sheng Chuncheng said, "Before Shuangshuang was born, I had never raised a cat or a dog. When I was in school, many classmates raised silkworms, but I had never raised them.
In the hospital, the doctor put Shuangshuang next to my pillow. Looking at her, I was frightened. What should I do with such a little girl? I don’t know anything. Can I feed her?
"Shuangshuang is growing up day by day. Others look at me as if it was me and my mother who raised the child, but I feel that it was Shuangshuang who raised me. It's a wonderful feeling. I didn't know how to give it to my child before.
She taught you how to change diapers. If you don’t know how to feed a child, she taught you how to do it. But if you don’t know how to feed a child, she also taught you what you should do.
"Really, Xiao Sheng, I feel like I was taught how to be a mother by Shuang Shuang step by step. When you hear her cry for the first time and see her looking at you and smiling, you feel like the whole world has changed.
She has been changed. She is a treasure in your eyes. How can you not be a treasure in her eyes?
"She doesn't know anything. When she looks at you, she just smiles at you and crawls into your arms. She cries so much that when you hold her, she becomes quiet and stops crying. You are not her.
What is your treasure?”
Sister Chen started to cry as she spoke, and she shouted: "But this treasure is no longer her treasure, not anymore. She will no longer look at you and smile. She doesn't even want to look at you. She won't
If she gets into your arms again, she will run away far away from you, far away from you, and run away to a place where you can never find her again. Do you know, Xiaosheng, I am no longer Shuangshuang?
That's a treasure.
"I harmed her, I killed her, Xiao Sheng, I will never forgive myself in this life."
Sheng Chuncheng sat there and stretched out his hand to hold Sister Chen's hand. He felt that he could not say anything. At this time, words were pale and powerless. Words were like the wind. When he spoke them, they would run away and have no roots.
With no evidence or support, words cannot catch up with the departed Guo Shuang, nor can they catch up with Sister Chen's sadness.
Sister Chen's hand was cold in his and kept twitching. Sister Chen's cry was like the darkness surrounding him, wrapping him tightly.
"Listen, Xiao Sheng, listen!" Sister Chen shushed and asked softly: "Xiao Sheng, did you hear any noise? In Shuang Shuang's room, is Shuang Shuang back?"
She wanted to stand up, but Sheng Chuncheng held her back. She lay in Sheng Chuncheng's arms, howling loudly, and Sheng Chuncheng hugged her tightly.
"It's impossible, it's impossible, Shuangshuang will never come back. Shuangshuang hates me and this family so much that she doesn't want to come back even a minute." Sister Chen said in pain, "I am no longer
Her mother is gone, I don’t deserve it, I killed her!”
I don’t know how long she cried. Sister Chen’s voice became softer and she finally couldn’t cry anymore. She lay motionless in Sheng Chuncheng’s arms, as if she was asleep. Sheng Chuncheng gently stroked her breasts.
Back, he hoped she could fall asleep and have a good sleep.
The reality is too cruel for people to face, so go to sleep and dream. In the dream, you may see the person you want to see, and you will be forgiven.
"I know what heartache feels like." Sister Chen did not cry anymore, but said almost in a whisper: "Heartache was just a word before, but now I know it is a real existence. It is not pain, it is a pain."
The doors are all closed in front of you, and you finally have no way to go. In the darkness, there is more darkness, and the doors are closed one by one.
"Heartache is not pain. You can escape from pain. There are still times in the past. Heartache is not there. Heartache will make you die and make you despair. By the way, Xiaosheng, the world you see, the world in your eyes, isn't it?
Pitch black?"
Sheng Chuncheng shook his head and said no, "Although I can't see the outside world, there is still light. For example, when I think of Guo Shuang's laughter, my eyes are bright."
Sheng Chuncheng closed his eyes when he said this. He imagined Guo Shuang looking at him, tilting his head and giggling. There was really a dazzling light in front of his eyes, and Guo Shuang was in this light.
He chuckled, the bright light blinding him so hard that he couldn't look straight.
"That's great." Sister Chen said.
Sheng Chuncheng nodded, and Sister Chen sighed.
"I can't see it anymore, Xiaosheng, Xiaosheng, you can still see Shuangshuang, I can't see her anymore, as long as I see her, I will turn around in pain, I don't dare to look, and I can't see
She got it."
Sister Chen said: "I seemed to have fallen asleep earlier when I saw Shuangshuang, but as soon as I saw her, I woke up. I wanted to stay in my dream and take a good look at her, but I couldn't.
I woke up, and I couldn’t even look at her and say to her, ‘Shuang Shuang, I’m sorry.’ She wouldn’t give me this chance, and I couldn’t even ask her to forgive my mother.”
Sister Chen started crying again as she spoke, shaking her head constantly as she cried.
"Why is it so unreal? I really don't know if all this really happened or if I am in a dream. Xiaosheng, am I still in a dream?" Sister Chen asked.
Sheng Chuncheng couldn't answer this question. Whether he said yes or no, it was cruel. He felt that at this time, not only was he really blind, but he also lost the ability to speak.
The two of them sat quietly in the darkness. For a while, Sheng Chuncheng felt that Sister Chen had fallen asleep again. He wanted to get up and carry her to the sofa to make her sleep more comfortable. His hand just moved.
After a while, Sister Chen let out a long sigh.
This sigh seemed to rise from the depths of darkness, and then seemed to fall towards the depths of darkness.
"Xiao Sheng, do you know that once, I was the pride of Shuangshuang, and Shuangshuang was also my pride. We, mother and daughter, were both proud of each other. No one understood me. When they misunderstood me, Shuangshuang would
Come over and say to me, 'Mom, you are doing the right thing, I support you.' As long as Shuangshuang has these words, I feel that everything is worth it and the efforts have been rewarded."
Sister Chen said, sighed again, and continued:
"I don't know when everything started to change. Shuangshuang is no longer proud of her mother. She is just disgusted. She began to think that I was hypocritical and that I was a drama queen. She felt that my life was just...
I carefully planned and directed a play. I don't know what went wrong, but I know that I let her down and I am no longer her pride."
After a moment of silence, Sister Chen sobbed: "Her father has let her down, and her mother has let her down. When there is no hope, it is despair. Xiaosheng, we are the ones who have left Shuangshuang with no way out."
Let’s go, she can’t go on!”
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