"This summer vacation, my wife took our daughter to Auckland, New Zealand. Gu Cheng died on Waiheke Island in Auckland. They wanted to visit Waiheke Island and read what Gu Cheng wrote in the book "Ying'er".
Where he raises chickens."
As Mr. Sun spoke, he raised his head slightly, as if he was looking into the depths of the night sky, or somewhere in the distance.
"Waiheke Island is in the northeast of Auckland. It's not far from Auckland. It's only a dozen kilometers away. When the weather is clear, you can see Waiheke Island from Auckland. There is a ferry from Auckland to Waiheke Island, and it takes more than half an hour.
.
"I don't know why, my wife and daughter didn't take the ferry across the sea like everyone else, but rented a small boat. Maybe they thought they were going to Gucheng and didn't want to go to the market with those noisy tourists.
Let's just pass it by and treat it as a very private action. I don't know, it should be like this.
"Actually, the walruses in that area were very good, and there were no hurricanes or anything like that. But something went wrong and the boat they were on capsized. My wife and daughter both drowned..."
"Ah!" Sheng Chuncheng couldn't help shouting.
"Even the police and locals find it incredible that such a thing happened. I don't know why. I think it may be God's will. Look, I sent them out for their safety. Unexpectedly, I sent them out.
They embarked on the road of no return, and our family of three was separated like this.
"You think, is this a punishment for me? People are doing it, God is watching, this is God's will, right? If not, what else can it be? It's just that God wants to punish me, why not me?
Come, but treat them, what's wrong with them? Everything was done and arranged by me, come to me."
As Mr. Sun spoke, tears rolled out of his eyes. He cried silently, which made Sheng Chuncheng look moved.
Sheng Chuncheng had never seen his daughter and didn't know what she looked like. Guo Shuang's figure appeared in his mind. He thought that his daughter should look very similar to Guo Shuang. These water-like girls eventually became
The foam disappeared into the water and was never seen again.
Sheng Chuncheng now seems to understand why Mr. Sun sits by the water every day and keeps looking at the water. Why does he ask: "Does the water in the world end up together?"
Sheng Chuncheng still remembered the rare brisk voice he made when he told him the answer. He must have been thinking that the water here was finally together with the water that embraced his wife and daughter.
"This news was told to me by my friend. When my wife and daughter went out, all the emergency calls left there were from my friends in Australia and they could not leave mine. My friend received a call from the local police
, did not dare to tell me, but immediately flew to Auckland, saw the bodies of my wife and daughter, and only told me after confirmation.
“When I received the news, I was speaking at a conference call with national branch directors of our system, and a friend sent me a WeChat message saying that he was in Auckland and asked me to call back right away if it was convenient.
"As soon as I saw this WeChat message, my heart skipped a beat. I felt like something big had happened. It was unusual for my friend to rush to Auckland from Australia. Plus, it was only ten o'clock in the morning, and New Zealand was four hours ahead of us, local time.
It's only six o'clock in the morning.
"At that time, I didn't care about anything else and handed the meeting to my deputy. I walked out of the conference room and called my friend in the corridor. My friend told me the bad news. I didn't want to believe it. My friend and
I turned on the video, and I saw my wife and daughter lying on the bed in the morgue, and I just collapsed in the corridor."
Mr. Sun was silent when he said this. Sheng Chuncheng looked at him and felt sad. He thought of the day he was at school and received a call from Chuni. He didn't believe it either, even though Chuni was crying on the phone.
At a loss, he still didn't believe it, his brain was buzzing, his whole body was numb, and he couldn't feel the grief.
He felt like he was drifting back from school to home, and there was always a voice telling him, it's impossible, it's impossible, Chuni is lying to him, she just wants to trick him into going home.
It wasn't until he arrived at the hospital in Qiandao Lake that he saw his father lying on a concrete platform with white tiles in the simple morgue of the hospital. Then he came to his senses. Then, grief overcame him.
"Other people saw me sitting on the ground and hurriedly came over to ask me what was wrong. I told them it was fine, it was no big deal. It was probably because I didn't eat breakfast, had low blood sugar, and was dizzy." Mr. Sun said, "They wanted to send me there.
Hospital, I said no, I'll go to the office to have something to eat and rest for a while.
"They helped me to the office, and the secretary brought me bread and milk. I told him that I wanted to lie on the sofa for a while and don't come in to disturb me. He agreed. After he left, I got up and left.
I went to the bathroom, closed the door, and started crying.
"For a person with my status, all itineraries need to be reported in advance. When going to the local area, you must also contact the embassy. In that case, the country will immediately know about my wife and daughter, and they will hide it from the organization.
The fact that I secretly sent my daughter away. Therefore, I didn’t even dare to go over to take care of their funerals. My friends helped me take care of it.
"I attended the farewell ceremony of my wife and daughter online, and they stayed in Australia forever. I didn't even dare to bring their ashes back. What kind of husband and father am I?
Cowardice is far more powerful than people think. Before this, I always thought that I was a very courageous and daring person, but in fact I was not.
"From the time they left to now, more than five months ago, I dream about them every night. I always wake up laughing or crying from my dreams. Whether I wake up laughing or crying, I get up, wash my face, go downstairs, and go up.
After I got in the car, the driver took me to my work. Every day, I was still the same as before, as if nothing had happened, but I knew that I was already hollow, and I continued to feel hollow day by day."
Mr. Sun looked at Sheng Chuncheng and asked: "Xiao Sheng, do you know why I came here?"
Sheng Chuncheng shook his head.
"I have to make a decision." Mr. Sun said.
"What decision?" Sheng Chuncheng asked.
"I can't stand the end of all this, really." Mr. Sun said, "On the eighth day of the Lunar New Year, everyone is going to work, and the Discipline Inspection Commission is also going to work. I thought about going to them and honestly explaining my affairs, but I
It’s hard to decide.”
"Why?" Sheng Chuncheng asked.
"In that case, too many people will be involved. Many of them are still my friends and old leaders who I was very grateful to. Behind everyone, there is a family. You may not be able to imagine, if I
If I do this, how many people will be unlucky and how many families will be ruined, which is why I can't make up my mind."
Mr. Sun sighed and said:
"I know that I should go to the Discipline Inspection Commission for public service, but for private use, I really can't make this decision. This is not a moral issue, nor a matter of principle, but an emotional issue. I can't let myself go just because it makes me feel at ease.
So many people's families were ruined, and although you could say that they deserved their own fault for what they did, I just felt that I couldn't do it.
"Tell me, Xiao Sheng, am I hypocritical or hateful?"
Sheng Chuncheng shook his head. He felt that Mr. Sun was right. People are complex and not black and white. Logically speaking, or if Mr. Sun were not sitting so close to him, this corrupt official, he should be
You should really hate him. If he were on the Internet, he would criticize such people and even leave messages. He should be pulled out and shot.
But when they faced each other and listened to him tell all this, Sheng Chuncheng felt that he didn't hate him at all, and even sympathized with him. Although he knew that he should hate him, he couldn't do that with him.
The determination is the same, but I can't hate myself no matter what.