Mu Chenxi was too excited and out of control, so she hugged him very hard.
She was frightened and hurt the child she was holding.
The child who was jumping up and down just now was stunned at first, and the next second, he was so scared that he cried "Wow".
The child's mother was also frightened and thought she had met a madman.
Protecting her son, she pulled Mu Chenxi away with great force and cursed loudly: "Go away, you are sick!"
She quickly hugged her child, coaxed her and left quickly.
Mu Chenxi was pushed to the ground with a confused look on her face, and her arms were empty again.
She stared blankly at the empty arms, searching blankly, and looked at the direction in which the child was leaving.
Her blurred vision looked at the little fur ball on the back of his head, watching the baby get further and further away from her again.
Just like countless nights and dreams.
The baby left her after accusing her.
She looked at it, her lips moving, silently saying sorry.
The moment the baby was coaxed and looked back at her, Mu Chenxi saw the child's face clearly.
That's not her baby, her baby is long gone!
Her tears burst out suddenly.
Like a flood that has been opened, once it opens, it can never be stopped.
She just sat on the dirty ground, lowered her head, and broke down and cried silently.
She has tried very hard to avoid all things baby related.
Every time she saw a baby products store, she would quicken her pace, afraid to look or touch.
She arranges her time to the fullest every day, and is always too tired to let herself think too much.
Don't think about the lost baby, don't think about the despair inside.
As long as she doesn't want to, she won't be sad or shed tears.
Tears are the most useless thing.
But today, she still lost control.
Lu Jingxing had just gotten in line and ordered milk tea. While waiting, he turned to look at Mu Chenxi.
Just happened to see this scene.
He didn't care to continue getting milk tea and hurried back.
But by the time he ran back to the barbecue stall, Mu Chenxi had disappeared into the crowd.
He called her, but no one answered.
Lu Jingxing searched around but couldn't find anyone, so he had no choice but to drive away.
…
Mu Chenxi walked on the crowded street, and the sounds around her stayed away from her.
She lowered her head and walked all the way back to Yuejingxi Garden.
She cried until her eyes were red and swollen, then stood downstairs and slowly raised her head.
This was once the place where her heart rested and her heart loved.
Especially at night, when she looks at the lights on upstairs, she feels very at ease.
No matter what troubles and sorrows she encounters, as long as she comes back here and is held in Fu Yanshen's arms, she will be calm and at ease.
This is her spiritual haven and her home.
But now...
Mu Chenxi took a few steps back uncontrollably.
Full of resistance.
Resist going in.
Entering this place that seemed to her like a prison.
She was really sad today.
She didn't want to go back to the prison, and she didn't want to face Fu Yanshen when she was emotionally fragile.
Mu Chenxi stumbled around and bumped into her aunt who was about to go home.
The aunt saw her red and swollen eyes and stepped forward worriedly, "Madam, what's wrong with you?"
"Auntie, can you not tell him that I'm back? I want to sit alone in the community for a while before going back."
She saw the lights turned on and knew that Fu Yanshen was at home.
"good."
Auntie nodded immediately.
But the aunt did not go back and followed Mu Chenxi not far or near.
Mu Chenxi passed by the supermarket in the community and walked in.
After buying wine and paying, she saw a pack of cigarettes on the shelf and picked out a pack.
After paying the bill, she walked out with her cigarettes and wine and found a quiet place to sit down in the community.
She is very emotionally unstable now and she wants to calm down.
Only by being calm can you face Fu Yanshen.
She no longer dared to drink outside and sat in the shadows where the street lights in the community could not illuminate her.
Open the beer and pour it in.
Sip after sip, she quickly reached the bottom after one gulp, but her mood still hadn't stabilized.
She reached out and touched the cigarette.
Open it with shaking hands.
She hated the smell of cigarettes, and even more the smell of tobacco and alcohol mixed together.
But now she doesn't know how to calm down.
She had seen that every time Fu Yanshen was irritable, he would smoke.
Smoking may help calm people down.
She took out a cigarette from the cigarette case and lit it unskillfully.
It took a long time to light the cigarette.
Learned to take a deep breath.
Because I don’t know how to smoke, I took one breath and got it all into my lungs.
She covered her mouth in pain and coughed heartbreakingly.
I coughed up all the tears, nose, and snot, and there were more and more.
The aunt who had been standing not far away stepped forward and hugged her, "Madam, why are you doing this?"
She wanted to step forward several times to stop her, but when she saw her wife's sad look that made her eyes red, she couldn't bear to step forward.
She knew clearly that the wife wanted to use tobacco and alcohol to numb herself.
Mu Chenxi leaned in her aunt's arms. After her coughing subsided, her tears did not stop.
She still felt sad when her aunt patted her on the back and asked her what was wrong.
Mu Chenxi choked and murmured, "Auntie, I miss my baby - I miss her so much."
After Mu Chenxi finished speaking, he sat up from his aunt's shoulder. He picked up the wine and took another sip.
A sip of wine and a puff of cigarette.
It was almost numb and was put into the mouth.
Gradually, I drank all the five cans of beer I bought and smoked three cigarettes.
She didn't know what time it was, but she only knew that the tears that had been flowing finally stopped.
She was a little dizzy, but the beer didn't make her feel that way.
Mu Chenxi reached out and took out a tissue from her bag, and wiped away the tears and snot from her face.
The aunt helped her clean up the garbage, carried it in her hands, threw it into the trash can, and supported Mu Chenxi to send her back.
In the gentle night wind, Mu Chenxi walked through the night, walking step by step towards the cage.
After entering the elevator, the aunt pressed the floor button. Mu Chenxi leaned on the side of the elevator and closed her eyes.
She didn't dare to open her eyes because she didn't want to look at herself in the mirror.
But even without looking, she knew what she looked like now.
In the end, she turned herself into what she hated the most.
…
The hands passed eleven o'clock, and finally there was a sound on the door.
Fu Yanshen, who had been worried all night, immediately rushed to the entrance and bumped into Mu Chenxi who was being helped in by his aunt.
"Morning light!"
Fu Yanshen hugged Mu Chenxi, who almost fell, and they were so close that he smelled the smell of tobacco and alcohol on her body.
His face was as dark as iron, and his anger was ignited.
"Sir, Madam, it's because she wants to have a baby..."
When the aunt saw this, she immediately helped Mu Chenxi explain.
Except for a few women, most mothers love their children very much, and wives are the ones who love their children especially.
She was in so much pain when she lost her child and couldn't let go or let go.
Because I blame myself and torture myself.
But her explanation did not make Fu Yanshen's expression soften, but instead made him look even colder. He said sternly: "Get out!"
"Auntie, you go back first!"
Mu Chenxi didn't care about Fu Yanshen's anger.
She has calmed down now and can face Fu Yanshen.
The aunt was worried, but under Mu Chenxi's eyes, she left anyway.
Before the door closed, she heard Fu Yanshen asking painfully: "Mu Chenxi, since you love your child so much, why did you take her away so cruelly? Why!"
Auntie was slightly stunned.
Sir, it sounds like there is something wrong with what you said?