This is an answer that leaves no doubt. No pair of parents who love their children deeply can tolerate their children seeking death, even if they themselves are no longer there. The deeper the love, the greater the expectation, and this expectation is not only accompanied by
Their lives are accompanied by the lives of their children.
Even under the clouds, they will watch the growth of their children with their eyes, feel happy about it, be proud of it, think about it, and suffer from it.
Therefore, even if he was heartbroken, even if he really thought about seeking death, and more than once, in the end, Xu Guangling slowly walked out of that thick shadow, but there are some things that he can never get rid of in his life.
.
There are many news about accident victims in the world.
But how many people have thought about what the family members of the accident victim, especially the children, would be like?
For Xu Guangling, the accident of his parents had a huge impact on him. This huge impact is not only reflected in the inability to face the departure of his parents, but also in the face of time, he still has to face it, from never accepting it to having to accept it.
, but at the same time, it caused him a shattered outlook on life.
Before his parents' accident, Xu Guangling was sunny, enterprising and hard-working.
After his parents' accident, Xu Guangling was gloomy, silent, and lost his direction and goals in life. He didn't know what else he could fight for, and more importantly, what was the point of fighting anymore? Maybe everything was fine at the last moment.
, it couldn't be better, but the next moment, there is nothing.
Is this trauma?
Yes and no.
I say yes because it was indeed caused to him by his parents' accident. I say no because the trauma can be healed, but this kind of impact cannot be healed and I don't know how long it will stay with him.
After that incident, Xu Guangling never submitted another manuscript, never composed another piece of music, never touched the piano again, never organized another school activity, and never participated in a study competition, let alone a competition.
He didn't even have the heart to listen to basic lessons.
When his parents were alive, his father did not have many demands on Xu Guangling's studies. Of course, it was also because in fact he did not need to make any demands. Xu Guangling himself had done very well, and it was far beyond his expectations. But his mother
There are requirements, and even Xu Guangling's route for the next few years has been planned.
Study at Tsinghua University first, complete your studies in two or three years, then go to Harvard or Cambridge to get a master's degree, or a doctorate, depending on the situation, then return to China and seek a teaching position at your alma mater, preferably starting as an associate professor...
Xu's father had no objection to this arrangement, and neither did Xu Guangling.
However, everything changed when an accident happened.
In his senior year of high school, Xu Guangling refused the school's special recruitment arrangement, casually took the college entrance examination, and then casually enrolled in a university. In university, he basically only hung out in the on-campus library and the National Library outside the school.
Read books, lots of books, all kinds of miscellaneous books.
This is the only way that can make him forget about the outside world and his parents.
Then four years passed like this. Even if he graduated in a normal four-year period, Xu Guangling was only nineteen years old when he graduated, not yet twenty. He entered school at the age of six, and then skipped a year in elementary school.
level, and skipped another level in junior high school.
After graduation, Xu Guangling did not look for a job, nor did he plan to.
Xu's father is a writer and literary and historical research expert, well-known in the province and domestically. Xu's mother is a composer, which is slightly inferior to Xu's father. She is unknown outside the circle and only well-known within the circle. However, if we only talk about income,
, but it is more than Xu’s father.
After leaving, what they left to Xu Guangling was a 280-square-meter house in the city center and a deposit of 34 million in the bank.
This is actually enough for Xu Guangling to live a life of wandering.
But since entering college, Xu Guangling has not returned home once. After graduating from college, he still has not returned. He is afraid of being sad. Xu Guangling just randomly finds a place, rents a house casually, and then indulges in
The world in books.
Until you get tired of a place, choose a new place and start over.
In this way, he is confused and confused. He has no direction, no goal, and no motivation. No one will care about him, and there will be no one to care about him. - His parents are gone. Even though he was unhappy during college,
, showed nothing, and there were still many girls who expressed kindness, but Xu Guangling rejected and ignored them all. To him, it seemed like something from another world.
Indifferent, silent, withdrawn, and even weird, this is Xu Guangling after his parents' accident.
However, time is really a force that cannot be ignored. Five or six years is enough to quietly change some things, revive the dead, and rejuvenate the dead. Or maybe there are too many places that have been changed.
After passing many mountains and seeing many seas, Xu Guangling slowly and finally became less gloomy.
He began to try to write or record some things again, about his parents, about himself, about the outside world, and so on, maybe a few words, or a relatively long one, but he would not publish it again.
He also tried to recompose some songs, some songs, some tunes, some songs, or just one or two lines of melody and fragments. Again, these are just records and will not be published. I won’t say whether they are good or not, they will not be published.
The reason is that these things, which record his mood, his experiences, his memories and memories, are too personal and too self-centered.
Those are things that should not be made public to the world. They are only suitable for one person to record and recall quietly.
He also made some friends.
It’s not someone you actively make friends with, but you’ve traveled to many places and experienced many mountains and rivers. There will inevitably be some people who fall in love with you at first sight, just with a look, a smile, or a few simple words.
.
There are many such people, some of whom, after parting, become far apart. Others, by chance or necessity, meet again in a different place, or even meet again and again, and then become irresistible friends, even good friends.
.
At this time, Xu Guangling was chatting with two friends online.
These two friends are both insects.
The so-called insects are the people of Kunming. When traveling to Xiazhou County, many Kunming people left a bad impression on the locals because they were not very particular about anything, so they got the name "insects". The word itself is derogatory.
Originally, but since its expansion, many people in Kunming also call themselves insects.
For example, the person Xu Guangling was chatting with at this time had a personal profile of "an insect." It was also from him that Xu Guangling learned about insects.
Dasha: Third brother, come over to play?
The wine is too thin to drink (Xu Guangling): Where are you? Are there any places that I haven’t visited?
Master Jia: I won’t talk about Dali, Lijiang, Shangri-La, etc. You have also been to Bianzhai. After thinking about it, there is a recent place that none of the three of us have been to. Third, have you heard of Fuxian Lake?
?
Xu Guangling didn’t have it, so he turned to Baidu.
After browsing a lot of web pages, Xu Guangling even saw this paragraph: YN people are generous. They selflessly share the beautiful scenery such as Lijiang Shangri-La with the world. YN people are selfish. They give the best things to the world.
Left to myself. (This refers to Fuxian Lake)
Xu Guangling copied this passage.
The wine is too thin to drink: is it really that good?
Dasha: I don’t know, I guess it’s a mystery. Because I’m a local, I’ve never heard of it before! But it doesn’t matter, let’s go and have a look.
The wine is too thin to drink: OK.
Mr. Jia: Or should you come by train? I and Fool will pick you up tomorrow.