Qiao Jinling's guess was correct. Song Yishan sat beside the grave and briefly told Song Jingyan's past, which was not much different from Sun Huifang's.
"Do you understand why she talks like that?"
Song Yishan stared at Qiao Jinling's eyes. There were tears in his eyes. He didn't understand many things, but he had seen his aunt's tears. In the dead of night, he could always hear his aunt sobbing. The next morning
Looking again, she looked serious and cold again.
"It's really not easy for your aunt. But everyone has to move forward, there is no turning back."
Qiao Jin was deeply moved. If the deceased had a spirit, he would not want to see his loved ones suffer so much.
"As a little girl, what can you understand? The person you love most is gone and will never be seen again. You can't feel the pain. I almost forgot what my mother looks like..."
Song Yishan stood up suddenly, with a sullen expression on his face. The tears that had been swirling in his eyes finally couldn't be held back and fell down his cheeks, soaking the edges of his mask.
"How come I don't know! I haven't had my father for thirty years! I miss him every day! I feel that kind of pain more deeply than anyone else, but I have to live and make money, and I can't let my mother work hard anymore!"
"Every time I couldn't hold on any longer, I would pretend to write a letter to my father. I would tell him everything, as if he was still alive."
Qiao Jinling didn't care and said everything directly. Anyway, in Song Yishan's eyes, she was just a freak, a beating, lying, and unsympathetic little girl! So what if there was one more crime?
"Thirty years? Your father?"
Song Yishan was a little confused. What was Qiao Jinling talking about? He couldn't understand it at all. Isn't Qiao Xiangqian still alive and well? She is only six years old, how can she get thirty years?
"You don't have to worry about this. Do you think people who are laughing and joking are really heartless? They have to work hard to survive so as not to fall."
Qiao Jinling didn't know why he said this to Song Yishan.
"I'm sorry. Qiao Jinling, I shouldn't have said that to you."
Song Yishan was at a loss.
"Hmph! If I had known that I would be scolded by you if I came, I might as well not have come."
After Qiao Jinling finished speaking, she flicked her pigtails and turned away.
"Don't leave."
Song Yishan ran over and stretched out his two long arms to block Qiao Jinling's way.
"What's going on? You still want to use force on me? You may not be able to beat me."
Qiao Jinling poked his forehead with his finger, telling Song Yishan to think about where the scar on his head came from.
"I...that's not what I meant. I...I..."
Song Yishan, who was calm, self-possessed and articulate, actually stuttered.
"Pfft!"
Qiao Jinling couldn't help but laugh. I wonder if it's Song Yishan who is naive or the children of this era who are naive?
"Forget it, I'm too lazy to be acquainted with you. I'm a fairy with a big belly. I accept your apology. If nothing happens, I'll leave?"
Qiao Jinling's voice was soft and waxy, making her say such serious words even more funny.
"I…"
Song Yishan wanted to say something, but his face turned red and his throat felt like it was clogged with cotton, so he couldn't say anything.
"Hey! By the way, why don't I do you a favor."
Qiao Jinling had already taken several steps, then stepped back and said with a sly smile: "Song Yishan, you owe me another favor."
…
It’s the fifth day of July.
Song Jingyan would come to the grave on the fifth day of every month, pull weeds, pour a few glasses of sake, bring a few small toys, talk to herself, and talk about everyday things, as if they were still in this world and had never been far away from her.
go.
Something is strange today.
On my daughter's grave, there is a pile of letters under the stone.
She took it over and looked at it. Each envelope was written "Song Jingyan (accepted)".
Who wrote it?
There were about twenty letters, a thick pile. She opened the first letter, and as soon as she glanced at it, tears welled up in her eyes. The letter had a twisted picture of a woman holding a little girl by the hand, and five others.
Big words: I love my mother dearly.
The second letter has many more words: "Mom, I miss you so much, I love you, kiss, my good mother", and there is also a red heart drawn on it.
Song Jingyan's tears fell, and she fell to her knees, holding the letter tightly to her chest. This is her daughter, and this is what she misses.
The third letter was written in pencil with a lot of pinyin mixed in.
"Dear mother, I am in the first grade today. Nian Nian will work hard to join the Young Pioneers. When she wears a red scarf, she will show it to her mother."
…
As I read each letter, the handwriting becomes more and more neat,
"Mom, I graduated from elementary school and did well in Chinese, but I'm a little poor in math. What should I do?"
…
"Mom, let me tell you a little secret. I have fallen in love with a boy. He is the dream lover of all junior high school girls. He secretly looked at me today and asked me to go to the playground. Do you think I should go?"
…
"Mom, the college entrance examination is finally over! No matter how you did in the exam! I made an appointment with my classmates to go see the sea. Don't worry, I will pay attention to safety. Nian Nian is already a big girl."
…
"Mom, I'm very sad today because I'm broken up in love. After graduating from college, he prefers to go back to his hometown. Do you think it's so difficult for people in love to stay together?"
…
"Mom, your little girl got married today. The wedding dress is very long and beautiful. He is very kind to me. It would be great if you could see it with your own eyes. Don't worry, Mom, I will be happy and love you forever..."
…
"Mom, I gave birth to a daughter. She is very cute. Is it the same as when I was a child? When do you think life begins? I don't think it is one year old or eighteen years old. As long as you are willing to live well from the heart, it is life.
Start. It is never life that gets better, but yourself. Mom, dad and I are very happy now, and you must live a happy life too. We met in dreams and will always love your daughter."
Song Jingyan had been crying uncontrollably, her throat was rolling, her tears were bursting, and she let them flow.
Song Jingyan chewed the phrase "It's never life that gets better, but yourself." Song Jingyan chewed it over and over in her heart, chewing it till it was pulpy, and then swallowed it in her stomach.
Maybe her Niannian is really in another world, somewhere she can't see, going to school and taking exams, getting married and having children, and living happily.
Qiao Jinling and Song Yishan watched silently from a distance, both of them filled with emotion. Saving others might not be a comfort to themselves.
"Qiao Jinling, thank you."
Song Yishan said softly.
"It's a joke, just think of it as my writing pen."
Qiao Jinling felt relaxed all over, only to hear a faint sentence from Song Yishan: "Qiao Jinling, I can't continue to be your deskmate. I want to go back to Beijing to attend elementary school."
She was stunned for a moment, then put on a sweet smile and said: "It's great to go back to Beijing to study. You will have a new deskmate in the future, and I will also have a new deskmate. We will all study hard, and I will go to Beijing to play with you in the future."
."
"I won't have a new deskmate!"
Song Yishan dropped these words and ran away alone, leaving Qiao Jinling standing there. Everyone only walks with you for a period of time. No matter how good a friend is, he will get lost or separated while walking.