Yang Zhaoxi climbed up a big mulberry tree, found a place with stable branches, and slowly leaned down. The painful experience just now was like a nightmare that was hard to wake up from, lingering in his mind.
And how could it be that he was still in a dream at this moment? He unexpectedly came here unexpectedly. The cold wind blowing through his thin clothes also turned the boiling heat in his heart into an ice cave.
There is no greater sadness than heartbreak! Such a sentence suddenly popped up in Yang Chaoxi's heart. Although it is not very appropriate, it is enough to describe himself.
The world is a big dream, and life has experienced a few cool moments. The self-conception in the hearts of young people is always big and unreasonable. However, the first love is frustrated and the five internal organs are depressed. If these frivolous words are of some use, why not use them to entertain themselves? From ancient times
Aren’t all the poems written so far used to express feelings?
My head is dizzy and sleepy, but my consciousness cannot be stable. The shadow of Guan Liner emerges uncontrollably in my mind:
The blurry outline of a baby, falling from the clear stream while catching crabs, the earnestness when asking my sister-in-law with one head tilted, the touching blush after drinking chrysanthemum wine on the Double Ninth Festival... and the cold and determined tears on the desolate slope.
My eyes were hot, a sour feeling piled on my face, I felt like crying without tears, it was indescribably uncomfortable.
There seemed to be the sound of Guan Shibo chasing him in the distance, and he didn't care about it anymore. His current situation was just like this mulberry tree. If he wanted to climb up again, it would be a dead end; and if he wanted to go back down, there would be mourning weeds all over the mountain. It seemed that
Once his feet touched the ground, the sadness and embarrassment that filled the mountains and plains would sweep up like a tide, completely submerging him.
The sadness and regret continued unabated in this chaos, and Yang Zhaoxi gradually fell asleep. However, he woke up again to the cold wind after less than a stick of incense.
Obviously I know how to practice Qi and can dispel these, but I can't bring up the slightest energy to drive these chills out of my body. It seems that the colder it is, the colder it is, the more relief it will have in my heart.
So half asleep and half awake, listening to the chirping of birds and beasts, the crescent moon gradually came to an end and disappeared under the east mountain. The sky and the earth were all black, without a trace of light shining through. Is there any boundary in this world? He didn't know. And he
I, at this moment, seem to be the loneliest person in the world...
The white of the fish belly at dawn appeared on the hills to the east, ending the long night. When Yang Zhaoxi woke up again, his whole body was cold. He searched all over his body, but could not find any warmth.
The mountains are silent in the distance, the water is sparkling nearby, and there is already greenery in the withered grass around the pond. Everything has returned to normal, as if nothing had happened. But some things have ended forever, almost as final as a coffin.
cruel.
Yang Zhaoxi was still wrapped up in exhaustion and dull pain in her heart, unable to struggle and unable to extricate herself.
"Amitabha..." Hui Lang, the monk who didn't know when, appeared under the tree and recited a mantra as a "good morning" to the Buddhist monks.
Yang Zhaoxi glanced at him and ignored him. Huilang raised his head and said, "The roar that rocked the mountains last night was the work of Taoist Chong Lingzi, right? You are really young!"
Hearing the sincere praise, Yang Chaoxi's ears felt as painful as needles burning: "Monk! Are you here specifically to make fun of Xiaodao?!"
Huilang clasped his hands together and saluted, but he was not annoyed by his questioning: "Little Taoist Master, you and I are both practitioners, and the poor monk is naturally here to discuss the Tao. I, the Buddha, is compassionate and has insight into the 'eight sufferings of life'. Little Taoist Master can understand
Which 'eight sufferings' are they?"
Yang Zhaoxi said in a bad tone: "Monk! You can say whatever you want! What riddles are you talking about? Do you think I dare not beat you!"
Seeing that he was angry, Huilang smiled calmly and said: "Birth, old age, illness, death, not being able to ask for things, meeting resentments and hate, separation from love, and the abundance of five aggregates are the 'eight sufferings of life'. The little Taoist priest is still young and has experienced the 'sufferings of life'
The two sufferings of "unable to ask for" are already so resentful and resentful. I don't know the future, so what should I do?"
Yang Chaoxi raised his eyebrows and looked coldly: "Monk! If you dare to talk nonsense again, I will punch a hundred pustules on your bald head!"
Huilang chuckled and said: "Buddha has thirty-two appearances, but this flesh-bun Dharma appearance is the most solemn. If the little Taoist priest is willing to help me achieve enlightenment, please do it! Not only will the poor monk never fight back, but he will also be grateful!"
Yang Zhaoxi was aroused by his words, and her originally suppressed emotions came out. Although she was still furious, the regret and sadness she felt all night long were forcibly diluted by this anger.
Yang Zhaoxi became so angry that he got down from the tree, grabbed the monk and beat him hard. Halfway down, his feet felt like they had stepped into boiling oil, and he suddenly got up and returned to the previous tree.
Zhu: "Monk! I don't know the same level as you, so get out of here! Don't call me Taoist, I'll do it!"
Huilang shook his head and said with a smile: "The poor monk converted to Buddhism to relieve all kinds of suffering in the world. When he saw that the little Taoist priest was suffering deeply, he could not ignore it and use the compassion and universal virtue of the Buddha to save him!"
Yang Zhaoxi stopped talking, casually grabbed a mulberry branch, broke it into several small pieces, and threw it towards Huilang's bald head. The mulberry branch broke through the air and made a "chi, chi" sound, which actually contained energy!
Huilang just lowered his head slightly, his body still as motionless as a mountain. Several sections of mulberry branches hit his head, making a bell-like sound, "Dang, Dang, Dang"! Although some scalps were broken and red blood oozed out,
But there was no serious injury.
Yang Chaoxi was astonished: This Shimen technique is quite strange. It can actually make a head as bronze as iron. But looking at the bald head that had been beaten to a bloody pulp, a hint of unbearability finally emerged in his heart: "
Monk! This matter has nothing to do with you, so don’t dwell on it!"
When Huilang listened to his words, his dejection had gone away, and he knew that he would not try to get into trouble again. At this time, he still refused to come down, but it was just because he couldn't save face, so he clasped his hands and smiled calmly: "The little Taoist priest is very wise.
I will definitely figure out the joints. I have things to do for the rest of the day, so I can come to the poor monk's thatched cottage to talk about it and discuss the Tao again." After saying that, the monk's robe shook slightly, but his figure had already walked away.
After Huilang's disturbance, the sky was already bright. Various familiar scenes in the valley gradually became clear. A few clumps of green smoke curled up from the scattered huts in the distance, and the women who got up early prepared morning meals. They were blocked by the trees.
In the valley school grounds, the sound of shouts and drills could be heard in the distance. Without even thinking about it, a vivid animation of dozens of regiments training soldiers wielding swords and spears unfolded before their eyes.
Yang Zhaoxi's eyes followed the clear stream, upstream, and recognized the scenes on both sides one by one: this side is the old man Wang Tongru's hut, that side is the fence of Aunt Guo, this side is Zhang Han's medicine house, and that side is Sun Yat-sen's house.
The courtyard of my wife's house... Zhang Carpenter's house, Niu Shishu's house, Guan Shibo's house... Every place is so familiar, but there seems to be an invisible barrier that prevents me from feeling close anymore. Thinking about this, I feel a little sad.
.
"Xi'er... come down and have something to eat!" A soft voice suddenly sounded under the tree.
Yang Chaoxi's whole body was shaken, and tears welled up again: "...Mother!" This time, it was Lu Qiuniang.
Lu Qiuniang's soft voice was full of warmth: "Xi'er, I know that you are feeling depressed and it's hard to understand for a while. So, I won't dissuade you. In this basket are your favorite corn cakes and peeled green onions.
, and put them under the tree. If you are hungry, come down and eat some."
After Lu Qiuniang finished speaking, she didn't stay much. She just picked mulberry buds and dandelion leaves, filled her backpack and went back. Yang Chaoxi was left with a lot of difficulties in her heart. In addition to endless sadness, she also felt a little bit more unbearable and ashamed.
: My mother should feel even worse, but she still calmly brings her food... This kind of kindness for childbirth must be repaid by a spring.
After a long time, all the regiment training soldiers at the valley school ground had dispersed. Guan Dashi walked to the big mulberry tree with an iron gun in his hand. He saw that most of the corn cakes and green onions in the bamboo basket had been eaten, and he felt a little relieved.
A little more.
He mused: "Boy Xi, Guan Shibo knows that he can't help you. No matter what you say, it won't help. This matter is a done deal. Guan Shibo doesn't ask for your forgiveness... I just hope you can take care of your relationship with Lin'er and Pang'er."
Don't resent them because of the affection of the director. If there is any mistake, it is only my fault, Guan Dashi..."
"Guan Shibo, I... don't resent Lin'er, and I have never regretted liking her so much... I'm just sad... If I had gone back to the villa a few years earlier to visit more, talk to her more, and chop firewood with her for cooking.
, carrying water and washing clothes... Maybe today, she is still my sister Lin'er..." What Yang Chaoxi said at this time was what he was thinking.
The words of love that I was too shy to speak in the past were now blurted out, and they were a natural expression of my true feelings. It was just that it was too late for me to reveal my true feelings.
Guan Dashi sighed: "Boy Xi, I just wish I didn't have more daughters, which makes everyone so embarrassed. There are still unmarried women in the village. If there is one you like..."
"Guan Shibo, please go back... I want to be alone. In a few days it will be... It's sister Lin'er's big day, so I won't go..." Yang Zhaoxi still leaned between the branches of the tree, speaking in a difficult tone.
, but also issued an eviction order.
Guan Dashi looked stunned, slowly turned his back, and walked slowly. The iron gun handle made a sound among the grass and stones, and he was completely unaware of it. His back gradually became smaller in the faint morning light.
The spring sun rises from the east, hangs in the middle of the sky for a while, and then gradually sets in the west. The day passes by quickly, and it is almost dusk.
After Guan Dashi left, no one came to pay attention to Yang Zhaoxi's existence. He was lying on a branch of a tree. His mood fluctuated throughout the day, and there was never a moment of calm. Many things were thought of and left behind in a mess, and he couldn't think of anything.
This is why. Even though I am familiar with the Taoist classics, I still can't discern the direction and can't figure out the meaning. I only have martial arts, but it is useless when encountering such a thing!
In my mind, two selves seemed to be split. One said: "Since you have martial arts skills, you should imitate King Kong's anger and don't cry like a woman! She is just a woman. If you like her, take it from her!"
The other one said: "Lin'er is the woman you love, and Pang'er is the brother you kowtow to. The two of them are in love with each other, and they are not as beautiful as adults."
Two voices were arguing endlessly. One said, "A great chivalrous person should have the world in mind, how can he be trapped by love?", and the other said, "You can't even get the woman you love, what kind of useless hero are you doing?"...
Yang Zhaoxi couldn't rest in the fierce debate between the two voices. She thought about life and death, gains and losses, favors and disgraces, advances and retreats... She thought of what Fang Qidou said, "Young people don't know the meaning of the music. If you know it, you are already the person in the music." I thought of Chengxuzi.
The master once said, "If you don't know life, how can you know death"...
Thinking of Master Changyuan walking up to him, with a pleasant look and a slightly reproachful tone: "Young people should be high-spirited. If they are so depressed, wouldn't they be prematurely aging? The so-called love when you are young is just a leaf that blocks your eyesight...
"
True and false, unreal and real, many artificial scenes began to rehearse in his mind. Yang Chaoxi's eyes were empty and blank. For the first time, he felt that being a human being had so many shackles on his shoulders, and he was about to put them on his shoulders.
The awe-inspiring spirit in my heart was overwhelming.
The setting sun has disappeared, and the shadows of the trees are gradually sinking. The dusk clouds in the sky are like fallen catkins, and the evening breeze in the mountains is cool!
Yang Chaoxi smiled sadly: When he was young, he had ambitions to be a great hero. But what would happen if he became a great hero? He is short-tempered and depressed, so he is no different from ordinary people.
It turns out that everything in the world is so boring. No wonder so many villagers and village women are bewitched by monks and Taoist priests to learn to "look away", learn to "let go", learn to "accept everything", and learn to "turn back from the sea of suffering"
"...
Deep love will not last long, but extreme wisdom will lead to injury. Can the methods of Buddhism really relieve people's suffering? And the Taoism's tranquility and inaction can not dilute the pain in the heart? For the first time in his life, Yang Chaoxi had a deep understanding of the Taoism he believed in.
The meaning of the scriptures has been slightly shaken.
The dusk falls, and the sky and the earth turn from white to black. The long night falls, dragging all the sorrow, joy, sorrow, and peace into the darkness...