"My daughter understands...that there are some things that cannot be said to Xiao Jing. Could it be that...can't we also say it between father and daughter?" The first half of the sentence is rather bland, but the second half has a questioning tone.
Hearing this, Yuan Shi was startled at first. The taboos he had held for so many years were finally torn open. Yuan Shi closed his eyes helplessly for a long time, feeling a dull pain in his chest, and said hoarsely: "I am sorry for them."
"Sister is just such a daughter, and I thought I could protect her for life." Yuan Jingchuan cried in a low voice, as if begging Yuan Shi.
Yuan Shi shook his head: "Little Jingdu can see clearly that after all... her surname is Chu, not Yuan."
Yuan Shi couldn't bear to look at Yuan Jingchuan, fearing that he would be soft-hearted. He was already wrong back then, and now he has made the same mistake over and over again. It has reached the point of no return and he cannot help himself.
Yuan Jingchuan only shed tears, her eyes were so desperate and desolate, as if she couldn't stop it, and her thoughts became clearer and clearer as she pressed. He remembered the teachings of his elder sister when he was a child, his face when she was laughing, Yuan's mother's reluctance, and her dying thoughts.
The words "Chu'er" he murmured at that time passed through Yuan Jingchuan's heart one by one, and he was gone.
After a stalemate for a while, Yuan Shi said in a hoarse voice: "If Ting'er hadn't been framed and sent to prison, your sister would not have managed to marry Chu Yi, let alone... give birth to Xiao Jing, and she would not have given birth to Xiao Jing.
She was brought up and died..." Yuan Shi's voice was obviously a little excited: "Your mother... your mother will not... die in depression."
Old Yuan Shi burst into tears and clung to the armrests of the Grand Master's chair with both hands. Every time he thought about this, Yuan Shi felt heartbroken and unbearable: "It's all my fault. It's all me... who hurt your sister... and Xiao Jing."
ah."
Yuan Jingchuan's face was already full of tears. She didn't want to speak, she just closed her eyes and shook her head gently. A silver hairpin seemed to be unbound from Yuan Jingchuan's hair and fell down with the frequency of shaking her head. The silver hairpin looked like an ice pick.
Like an iron brand, like the past, it quietly leaves traces and takes away all the beauty of Yuan Jingchuan.
Yuan Jingchuan thought about it more than once, what would happen if her sister did not marry into a high family?
There is no solution, it is a foregone conclusion.
"Father...it's not your fault. If I were my sister...I would do the same thing." Yuan Jingchuan sneered: "When I was young, I thought it was a good thing for my sister to marry a high-ranking official. Later I realized that my sister's temperament
It’s not suitable to be locked up in a deep house, and it’s no doubt that I’ve put layers of locks on my sister.”
Who should he blame? Yuan Jingchuan has long lost his hatred over the years. He doesn't know who to blame. There is no one to blame, only endless sorrow and endless longing.
"Cough...cough..."
Yuan Shi began to cough violently and was out of breath. His wrinkled old face turned red from holding it in, and he suddenly slipped from the Taishi chair.
Yuan Jingchuan was shocked when he saw this, and rushed over to give Yuan Shi a pat on the back. After Yuan Shi calmed down, he offered a new cup of tea for Yuan Shi to drink.
Outside the door, Chu Yunjing had already burst into tears.
Chu Yunjing wanted to go to the kitchen to get a bowl of porridge for her grandfather. When she came back, she saw two figures reflected in the window. She thought of waiting outside, but the conversation between the two people in the house reached her ears.
Word by word, word by word, Chu Yunjing felt more and more like her heart was being ripped out of flesh. When she heard her mother's past for the first time, Chu Yunjing couldn't believe it. In the past, she always wondered in her heart, how could the famous Chu family marry the daughter of a merchant?
?She has not been valued by the Chu family since she was a child, maybe it is also because of her mother's family background, but she just doesn't like her. Why should she marry? Now I got the answer.
She bit her lower lip, which was already bleeding, with red eyes and a sinister gaze. She tried hard to suppress her emotions and did not dare to speak out. Her upper lip was also trembling violently.
A loud cough in the house shocked Chu Yunjing. She came back to her senses and saw Yuan Shi's posture through the crack of the window. She was very worried and suddenly wanted to push the door open, but she paused for a moment.
She held the window open and stared blankly for a while, but finally did not have the courage to open the door. How would the three of them face each other after entering.
Seeing that Yuan Shi had regained his breath, she withdrew her fingers that had turned bloodless due to excessive force, and rubbed them on her chin. Tears crawled onto the back of her hands. She glanced at the tears on her hands, regained consciousness, and knew she should leave.
Chu Yunjing walked in despair, his eyes were vacant, his tear-stained eyelashes were batting up and down, his steps were staggering, but he did not forget to hold the porridge on the tray steady.
In fact, Chu Yunjing didn't know where she was going, she just subconsciously walked this way. Fortunately, it was getting late and no servants saw her on the road, otherwise they would have thought that the young lady had hit a ghost and been taken away from her.
She only felt that someone was blocking her way. The man shook her several times with a worried look on his face. She looked at the person and saw that it was Si Yu who was looking for her.
She couldn't hear what the other party said. Her eyes were hazy and she couldn't see the person in front of her clearly. She could only see Si Yu's mouth opening and closing, but she gradually heard it clearly.
"Miss...what's wrong with you? Miss? Don't scare me." Si Yu looked anxious and snatched the tray that Chu Yunjing was holding tightly.
Chu Yunjing was made to sit down. At this moment, his consciousness gradually became clearer. He slowly turned his head to look at Si Yu: "Si Yu...you are four years older than me...my mother..." Chu Yunjing finally
Unable to bear to continue talking, she cried again when she mentioned her mother: "Mother...why did my mother die?"
Si Yu was half distressed and half puzzled: "Miss, what's wrong with you? Why...by asking this suddenly, did you hear something that you shouldn't have heard?"
"Just answer me." Chu Yunjing said sternly.
Si Yu was very frightened and said hurriedly: "I was only eight years old back then... I only vaguely remember that my wife died of illness. My mother said that my wife was depressed all day long and the knot in her heart could not be resolved."
"How could this be?" Chu Yunjing's eyes were sad.
People around her rarely talk about her birth mother, and she has only a very limited impression of her birth mother. She longs most for her mother to ask her if Mr. Today has complimented her, whether her clothes fit her, and whether her dishes fit her mouth. She longs most for her mother to hug her.
Tell Xiao Jing not to cry, Xiao Jing is the best...
A person's longing for her mother is nothing more than this, but she has never had it since she could remember.
"I don't know... Madam has rarely had contact with you since you were born, and she doesn't like to have contact with outsiders. The longer the time goes by, the more the Madam closes herself off. No one in the house dares to approach Madam for fear that Madam will lose her temper."
." Si Yu searched the memory in her mind and said slowly.
"My servant remembers that one time, the young lady saw the madam from a distance and ran towards the madam. She just put her little hand on the madam's knee. Madam... the madam then threw the young lady's hand away. The young lady fell to the ground and started crying. Madam
.....Mrs." Si Yu's face was filled with sadness and she couldn't bear to say any more.
Chu Yunjing's eyes were empty and all thoughts were lost. Si Yu's truth broke all Chu Yunjing's illusions about his mother. He really couldn't imagine that Chu Yunjing had filled the vacancy of his mother countless times. She seemed to be as considerate and caring as her aunt.
Pamper yourself, or be like your grandma, as bright as a pine tree. You never thought that your mother hates you, why? Is it just because the relationship with that man was just expedient from beginning to end?
"Fortunately, Mr. Chu is very kind to Madam. Even if Madam... doesn't show you good looks, the most you can do is walk away. He has never been angry with Madam and ordered his servants to take more care of him. Mother said that Mr. Chu is a good person.
Son-in-law, just as far as my wife is concerned..." Si Yu could only sigh.
"My mother was supposed to be a bright woman galloping through the mountains and rivers of heaven and earth, but she spent her whole life miserable in a bird cage." Chu Yunjing looked up at the night sky. The stars were shining, and the good times were endless, unlike the people under the moon who were miserable.
Grandpa's debt, aunt's pampering, uncle's atonement, mother's indifference, father's helplessness. How to hate? Chu Yunjing really doesn't know who to blame, no one can be hated, and things in the world cannot be judged as right or wrong.
Chu Yunjing sat blankly, without any emotion, as if her soul had been sucked out. Her little body was so pitiful. She sucked in her nose, which was red from the cold or from crying.
The two of them were leaning in the pavilion at the corner of the backyard. There was always a cold wind blowing by. She couldn't feel the slightest chill, only the pain in her heart. If Si Yu hadn't been forced to ask Si Yu today, these things about her mother would never have been revealed.
She knew that she was always somewhat arrogant, mostly because she was favored by others and had a good family background. She had thought countless times that she wanted to be like her mother.
All servants in the Yuan Mansion, young and old, who have seen her mother, all say that she is kind to others, decisive and resolute. If she is a man, she is a real husband, and if she is a woman, she is worthy of a hero among women.
For a long time, the moon was high in the sky, and the winter wind was blowing from time to time. Si Yu couldn't help it, and said timidly: "Miss...it's about four quarters of the year. Let's go back. You are so weak, how can you keep getting cold."
"
Chu Yunjing nodded, didn't think too much, and just followed Si Yu back to the house.
On this day, the warm sun was high and the winter mood was still there. Chu Yunjing made an appointment with Wei Qingshu, the daughter of Mr. Wei's family, to listen to a play in the south building. The two of them found a good and quiet corner on the second floor.
Just listening to the singing on the stage downstairs, the two of them were enjoying themselves.
Wei Qingshu looks about the same age as Chu Yunjing, but maybe a few months older. Her outfit is only two colors of azure and lake blue. She has a cold and elegant temperament. She sits with her back straight and her movements are elegant and delicate.
The woman in the goose-yellow coat next to her is in contrast. From a distance, the two people in green and yellow clothes reflect so beautifully.
Suddenly there was a commotion downstairs. I don't know where Tan Huaxian got the news. When he saw Chu Yunjing and the others entering the south building, he called on several ladies from noble families to swarm into the south building, with the purpose of following them.
While they were laughing, several people went upstairs. Tan Huaxian poked her head to look for them. When she found them, she curled up into a smirk on her lips and walked upright towards them.
All the noble ladies looked at each other.
"Why are they two here?"
"See, Sister Tan is here just for them."
"Just wait and see, there will be another good show."
"Two old girls, how dare they come out to show their faces? If it were me, I would have been killed by a headlong collision." Following a loud shout, several people burst into laughter.
Chu Yunjing didn't think so, and she thought she was applauding the show downstairs. Seeing the embarrassment on Wei Qingshu's face, she cast a reassuring look.
When several noble ladies saw that the two of them had no reaction, they stepped forward to provoke them.
"Yo? Who was I at that time? It turned out to be Miss Chu who was kicked out of Kyoto!" Tan Huaxian covered her mouth with a veil and laughed.
Tan Huaxian always picked on her shortcomings and ridiculed her. She didn't know where she heard that she was being kicked out of Kyoto. It was obvious that she left on her own, but she didn't bother to refute.
She neither spoke nor looked at Tan Huaxian, she just cracked the melon seeds in her hand and stared at the stage downstairs with interest.