Lu Yao and Cao You chatted for a while about Cao Han and the Cuju competition. Seeing that it was getting late, Cao You said goodbye and left. In this conversation, both of them got the answers they wanted. For Lu Yao, he learned that
However, Cao You still cares about his sister, so Cao You will still support him in the martial arts competition. On the other hand, Cao You also wants to get Lu Yao's attitude. When he sees Lu Yao,
Even though he planned to take action, Cao You also felt that he had not misjudged the person.
Soon after Cao Yu left, it was evening. Lu Yao was in a good mood today and made a breakthrough on the Cao family's issue, so he decided to cook a table of delicious food himself, while Lu Xu and his sister-in-law Xu were waiting at home
It’s been a long time since I’ve eaten food cooked by Lu Yao himself.
At the dinner table, Lu Yao and Xu learned about the situation of the bank. It sounds like the bank is still operating normally, and because of the football lottery, the bank has a lot of returning funds. It can be said that everything is running normally, at least the worst will not happen.
The situation is that everyone cannot pay back the money and eventually goes bankrupt.
The family was chatting when they heard the news that Han Wen was visiting from far away.
Before Lu Yao could react, Lu Xu put down his chopsticks and said that Han Wenyuan's visit today was probably not for political reasons, but because the marriage between Lu Yao and Han Yunyu should have reached the stage of further discussion.
According to Lu Xu, it should be less than a month before Lu Yao and Han Yunyu get married. The reason why the Han family had not planned to discuss the wedding with the Lu family before was probably because Lu Yao did not take the imperial examination.
When Han Wenyuan arrived in the main hall and chatted with everyone, it turned out that he was here for the purpose of getting married. Lu Yao thought to himself that Han Yonghe must have figured it out after the previous conversation with him, so he came to the Lu family to discuss the subsequent marriage.
Of course, Han Yonghe, a person who cares about face, will never be present in person. It would be good if he did not let Lu Xu and Lu Yao go to the Han family to discuss. But he can send people to the Lu family to discuss, which has already been explained.
He takes this marriage more seriously.
After all, this is the Northern Song Dynasty, and there are still some differences from modern wedding etiquette. Lu Yao recalled the wedding etiquette of the Northern Song Dynasty that he knew, plus what his mother mentioned when chatting with him some time ago, and made a summary
.
During the Northern Song Dynasty, the imperial court simplified the "Three Books and Six Rites". Based on the principle of "following the ancient meaning without clinging to the ancient, adapting to the present without being tied to the present", on the basis of following the previous dynasties, the
Converting complexity to simplicity, combining "six rites" into "four rites", making folk "marriage" more concise and flexible.
During the Northern Song Dynasty, the "marriage" of citizens in Tokyo basically followed the "Four Rites". The "marriage" procedure can be divided into the following stages:
The first is the marriage negotiation stage. During this process, after the men and women are introduced and negotiated by the matchmaker, both parties must write a written contract. The contract must state the surnames, official positions, and land properties of family members within at least three generations.
Regarding your property status, you generally need to post twice. The first time you write is relatively simple and is called a "rough post"; the second time you write is more detailed and is called a "fine post". In the process of sending posts
The man also needs to prepare some good wine, which is served in a large wine jar with exquisite patterns. Flowers made of colorful silk are tied around the outside of the wine jar. The shoulder pole that carries the wine jar is also wrapped with red silk, which is called "paying the burden".
"Red" was delivered to the woman with gongs and drums. The woman could not be idle at this time. She prepared two bottles of fresh water, three or five live fish, and a pair of chopsticks at home, and then put them into the wine jar sent by the man's family.
, called "Returning to the Fish". Of course, it was at this time that an episode occurred in the engagement between Lu Yao and Han Yunyu, but it later recovered and I won't say much more.
Next comes the stage of giving out the betrothal gifts. Because Lu Yao had just time traveled through time at that time, he didn't know much about these things. Everything was decided by his father Lu Xu and his mother Yan. At this time, both parties had to sit down and discuss the details. Negotiate the next step, including small and large appointments, and the specific time to see the wife. In the marriage negotiation process of the Northern Song Dynasty, the betrothal gift was called "the final date", and the betrothal gift was generally divided into two times. The first time It is called "Na Cai", and the initial intention for marriage is determined, which is called "Xiao Ding"; the second time, called "Na Cai", is used to determine the time of marriage, which is called "Dad Ding".
Originally, people in the Song Dynasty still had a process of marrying a daughter-in-law, which was also a relatively important link and involved the key to whether the marriage of both parties was happy. However, there was a detail problem, that is, the man could only look at the woman, but the woman could not look at each other. Men, this is a bit unfair to women, but in ancient times, "men were superior to women" and women's social status was relatively low, so there was nothing wrong with it at that time.
To marry a daughter-in-law, the man usually sends a relative or future mother-in-law to the woman's home to see him. If he likes his wife, he will insert a hairpin into her hat, which is called "hairpin"; In the marriage, one or two pieces of colorful silk must be left behind to calm the woman's shock, and at the same time convey a message to the woman that the matter cannot be done. However, the marriage between Lu Yao and Han Yunyu is different from that of ordinary people, and it can be regarded as a political marriage. .
After the first stage of etiquette is completed, the subsequent contact between the man and the woman, and the various requests put forward by both parties, are completely dependent on the "matchmaker". If the two parties do not get married within one year after the "decision" is made, So during the holidays, the man should prepare representative gifts for the festival, as well as meat and wine, and send them to the woman's home. Generally, it can be done casually according to his family situation. There are no special requirements, and the woman's family should give some gifts in return. Food or small gifts are given as a sign of friendship. The next step will be to formally "give financial gifts", discuss the specific wedding date, and finally "over-gift". The day before or on the day of the wedding, the groom's family will send "gifts". The bride's family will send back a set of formal attire and groom's supplies such as floral headdresses and flower powder. The last step is the critical moment - the wedding.
The day before the wedding, the bride’s family would send someone to hang up the tent at the groom’s house. In ancient times, most people would hang curtains on their beds. The curtains could be opened and closed. The materials of the curtains and curtains were generally based on the seasons. There will be some changes. In summer, thinner gauze materials are used, and in winter, thicker materials are used to keep warm.
(This chapter is not finished, please turn the page)
.
The main purpose of the woman's family coming to the man's house is to decorate these curtains. These things are originally part of the dowry, and may be rich or simple depending on the family situation. In addition, bedding must be carefully laid out, and peanuts, chestnuts, and jujubes are placed on the bed. Some graphics and words usually imply the birth of a child early, which is called "Bufang".
The groom's family also entertains the relatives of the bride's family who come to the wedding room, offering some refreshments or giving some money as "happy money".
"Making a house" is the prelude before the wedding, indicating that the wedding drama is about to begin. Both men and women and their families are immersed in joy, as an important moment in life is about to come.
The next day is the official day to welcome the bride. The groom’s family has made preparations early. The wedding car or sedan to pick up the bride has also been newly decorated. The groom will ride on a tall horse, covered in red, and the gongs and drums band will play all the way.
At the door of the woman's house.
The bride's family is also ready to warmly entertain the wedding team, presenting them with colorful satin, drinks and snacks. At this time, the band starts playing music and urges the bride to put on makeup and get on the car as soon as possible, which is called "makeup urging". After the bride gets on the car or sedan,
These cart drivers or sedan bearers were not in a hurry to leave. They clamored for wedding money, which was called "carrying the load." After the groom's family rewarded the bride with "happy money", the wedding procession set off in a lively manner.
After arriving at the man's house, the person sending off the bride and the man's relatives and friends all clamored for "happy money" or "bonus", which was called "blocking the door." This custom was an established ritual in the Northern Song Dynasty, although it was not formal.
It is etiquette, but it is indispensable. During this process, the celebrant must also recite some words and phrases, mainly to create a happy and festive atmosphere. After the bride gets off the car or sedan, Mr. Yin and Yang, who has been waiting at the door of the house, begins to appear.
There is a bucket in the bucket, and the bucket is filled with a mixture of millet, soybeans, copper coins and dried fruits. He grabs these things and throws them at the door while mumbling something. The children rush to grab them. This etiquette is called "throwing".
"Gudou", the purpose of this is said to be to suppress some murderous gods headed by Qingyang, drive away evil spirits, and pray for the safety of the newlyweds.
At this time, the bride's feet should always step on the green cloth strips or carpets, not on the ground. There should be a person in front of her holding a mirror, walking backwards, to lead the bride into the room. A tent should be prepared in the room.
, the bride has to rest temporarily here, which is called "sitting in the empty tent". Some families directly take the bride into the bridal chamber and sit on the quilt on the bed, so it is also called "sitting in the rich and honorable tent".
After sending away the female guests who came to see off the bride, the wedding banquet officially began. The relatives, friends and guests who came to congratulate the bride sat around the banquet. After three glasses of wine, the groom, wearing a formal dress and a flower on his head, first invited the matchmaker to come and sit down.
Sitting on the chair on the wooden couch in the middle hall, raising a glass and toasting to thank the matchmaker for his words is called "sitting high".
After the matchmaker, came the parents of both parties, thanking both parents for their upbringing. Especially on this special day, this etiquette is particularly important. It also means that starting from today, both men and women must step out of the protection of their parents and welcome the wedding.
A new life of their own.
At this time, the groom is about to invite the bride. The man and woman each prepare a piece of red silk and tie it together to make a concentric knot, which is called a "handkerchief." The groom takes one end of the silk in his hand and gives the other end to the bride. The groom steps back
The main purpose of this is because the bride was covered with a veil and could not see the road, so she was led by the groom. First she came to the family temple to worship, and then to visit her parents. After the ceremony, the bride was supported by others.
Walk backward out of the room and return to the new house.
After the bride and groom return to the new house, they both have to bow. After bowing, the husband and wife sit back on the bed. The bride sits facing the left and the groom sits facing the right. At this time, the elder women in the family begin to throw money on the bed.
And colorful fruits, this is called "spreading tents".
Next, the bride and groom made their arrangements back to back, taking a strand of hair from each of them. The two families took out ribbons, hairpins, wooden combs, beards and other things to tie their hair together. It's called "joining the bun". Take out two wine glasses at the same time, connect them with ribbons, and the bride and groom drink each other a glass of wine. This is called "crossing the cup of wine."
The climax of the wedding is at this point. The basic etiquette procedures are over. At this time, the banquet outside has basically come to an end. The guests got up one after another, congratulated the groom's family again, and then went home. The wedding was also peaceful. It's over.
After the wedding, the son-in-law has to go to the bride's house to express his gratitude. This etiquette is called "paying a courtesy visit". There is no special time requirement. There are also people who go to the bride's house to "visit the door" on the second day of the wedding, which is called "repeated visit to the door." There are also weddings. If you go to "visit the door" in three or seven days, the preparation of gifts should basically be consistent with the gifts given by the woman. This is also called "courtesy reciprocity". After the banquet at the woman's home, drummers should also be invited. The team came to see the son-in-law home and took with him some items given by his parents-in-law.
From form to content, the "marriage" customs of the Northern Song Dynasty reflected the Tokyo people's yearning for a better life and their best wishes for the couple. These etiquette may seem simple, but none of them are redundant. Some etiquette is to pray for the safety of the couple. After marriage, you can have many children and good luck, such as "making a house" and "throwing grain and beans"; some etiquette is to wish the couple a happy marriage and respect each other as guests, such as "spreading tents", "putting buns together", and "making glasses of wine"; The etiquette is to exaggerate the peaceful and festive atmosphere of the wedding, announce the wedding information to people, etc., such as "taking up the burden" and "blocking the door".
These complicated forms run through the entire wedding. They seem to be empty forms, but in fact they reflect the different mentality of the families of both parties. In our opinion, "marrying a wife" and "marrying a daughter" are two different mentality. These etiquettes came into being under this different mentality. They not only take into account the mentality of both families, but also contain profound cultural connotations and practical significance, and have a particularly far-reaching impact on future generations.
It can be said that Lu Yao can be regarded as a common person to a certain extent. After all, he has a false position now. But to a certain extent, as Lu Xu's son, his wedding with Han Yunyu must pay more attention to etiquette than the weddings of common people. In this regard.
Han Wenyuan arrived at Lu Mansion today, but there was no
(This chapter is not finished, please turn the page)
Too many pleasantries, after all, there are still many things to discuss. Regarding this matter, Lu Yao plans to listen to the arrangements of Lu Xu and his mother, but he also needs to know more.
Han Wenyuan came to Lu Mansion today mainly for two things. The first was to confirm the date of the wedding, and the second was to discuss the betrothal gifts prepared by both parties.
Lu Yao was not worried at all about the betrothal gift. If he had not made any money yet, Lu Yao might have been a little scared. After all, he was marrying the daughter of the Shangshu family. But now Lu Yao has a lot of money and is said to be rich. But the enemy countries are all the same, and the money spent on the betrothal gift is just a drop in the bucket.
And Lu Xu, who was originally worried about this aspect, because of Lu Yao's sudden wealth, does not need to lower his profile in front of Han Wenyuan. Even if it is Han Yonghe himself who comes today, no matter what kind of request he makes, Lu Yao Xu can be satisfied.
Therefore, the matter of the betrothal gift was quickly settled. According to what mother Yan told Lu Yao, the Han family did not propose a very exaggerated betrothal gift because Lu Yao was now very rich. Moreover, the betrothal gift given by the Lu family was,
The value of the dowry was almost the same as that of the last dowry sent by the Han family. This did not surprise Lu Yao. After all, Han Yunyu was Han Yonghe’s only daughter, and this was also the only time she got married. Han Yonghe, who always valued face, was here.
Of course, you can't lose your daughter. In modern times, if a girl doesn't give anything as a dowry and just marries the man directly, and everything is handled by the south, then the woman will most likely be looked down upon by the man after marriage.
Reciprocity is an eternal truth.
After sorting out the betrothal gifts, the only thing left to talk about was the wedding date. Originally, Lu Xu and Lu Yao thought that Han Wen's visit this time was just to agree on a rough scope, although now the palace examination is
The date has been set, but whether to wait until the palace examination is over to get married, or to wait until the scores are distributed before holding the wedding, these are two completely different choices. Han Wenyuan came to Lu Mansion today to honor Han Yonghe.
The order came. What neither Lu Yao nor Lu Xu expected was that the Han family had already set a date for the wedding, which meant that the date had already been chosen. The day they chose was after the palace examination.
On the third day, instead of after the palace examination scores are announced. The final imperial examination rankings will be announced about a week after the palace examination. However, Han Yonghe chose to marry Lu Yao and Han Yunyu as soon as the palace examination was over. Among them, it was obvious that Lu Yao had
The words he went to Han's house to talk to him played a key role. It seemed that Han Yonghe had figured out that Lu Yao should be able to achieve good results in the palace examination, so he dared to set the date of the wedding first. He was not afraid of anything else.
People later started to mock themselves because Lu Yao did not do well in the exam.
Lu Yao felt relatively happy about Han Yonghe's trust in him.
Of course, Lu Xu could handle the betrothal gift, but as for the wedding date, Lu Xu turned his attention to Lu Yao. Obviously, this kind of life-long event should be decided by the parties themselves. If this was the case, Lu Yao liked Han Yunyu very much before.
At that time, maybe Lu Yao would look at the almanac and find a fortune teller to estimate which zodiac day was auspicious. But now, Lu Yao directly agreed to the date suggestion proposed by Han Wenyuan. The reason is very simple. First, Lu Yao now has
Han Yunyu no longer loves Han Yunyu like before. What's more, what he has to consider now is actually Cao Han's martial arts competition to recruit a bride, so this wedding day is not very important to Lu Yao. And secondly, Lu Yao
I have also thought about the choice of this date. In fact, the Han family must have already calculated the date. Even if they find someone to choose an auspicious day, it should still be that day. After all, the Han family means that it should be before the results of the palace examination come out.
When it comes to getting married, there aren't many choices.
Lu Xu saw that Lu Yao had no objections, so he agreed to the wedding date given by the Han family. Next came the preparation of the betrothal gift in the next few days, as well as the preparation and movement of the two families. According to the process, from
From today until the day before the wedding, Lu Yao and Han Yunyu are absolutely not allowed to see each other. Lu Yao also said that Tangxi will handle everything in the future with the Han family. Of course, Lu Yao's eldest brother and sister-in-law will also help.
Plan together. After all, Lu Yao still has to prepare for the imperial examination, and Lu Yao's sister-in-law Xu's delivery date is within the next week. After the delivery is over, Lu Hao will have time.
Come to help Lu Yao prepare for the wedding. For the Lu family, there are two most important things now. The first is Lu Yao's imperial examination, and the second is the wedding of the Lu family and the Han family. Although marriage is very important,
But both Lu Xu and Lu Hao knew that for Lu Yao, the most important thing now was the imperial examination. Han Wenyuan also expressed his understanding of this. Based on his understanding of Lu Yao, even if Lu Yao would not be responsible for the wedding personally,
Lu Yao will also control the situation as a whole so that no problems will arise.
The conversation between the two parties went very smoothly. It only took half an hour to discuss two important issues regarding the wedding. Han Wenyuan had already planned to start within an hour, but he did not expect it to proceed so quickly.
.
After that, Lu Xu and his family went to have dinner, while Han Wenyuan kept Lu Yao and asked him about the upcoming competition.
Obviously, this is a small selfishness of Han Wenyuan. Lu Yao smiled and said to Han Wenyuan that in fact, what he has to worry about now is not the upcoming game against the Wangcai team. As far as Lu Yao knows, Zhang Mao has just recently
He has been busy with his inn in the outer city. This Cuju competition has allowed him to make a lot of money. Even if the Return Inn that the royal family took back has reopened, due to pricing issues, the most popular inn in the outer city is still
The inn run by Zhang Maocai. Therefore, Zhang Maocai is busy making money and will definitely not be that concerned about the game. Therefore, winning the first game should not be a problem, and the Wenyuan team should focus on the second.
In the first round of the game, Lu Yao's advice to Han Wenyuan was to let him watch the last game of the first round, that is, the Lions vs. Goshawks. Being prepared for the second round is what Han Wenyuan needs most.
things to do.
After Han Wenyuan left, Lu Yao looked up at the night sky, sighed, and said, "It seems that I can't escape anymore. I didn't expect that when I get here, I still have to worry about love."
