"Yin Zhen, do you really hate me so much? Really..." He never came. He refused to forgive me anymore. My heart seemed to be torn apart, and the pain was centered on the heart, wave after wave.
It spreads to all the limbs and bones, and I feel that my whole body is so uncomfortable that I can't help myself. Isn't it already dead? Why is the body still hurting, and why is there such a clear memory in the brain. Gently move the fingertips, and you can feel it under the fingertips.
I felt the soft quilt. I was shocked and suddenly opened my eyes. There was a crystal chandelier hanging on the white ceiling. I looked around as if I was in a dream. I saw a pink wardrobe and a dresser with pink flowers. Next to me was my favorite Mickey.
Doll. His mind was a little confused for a moment. Did he really come back? Are he Zhang Xiaowen now?
Lying quietly on the bed, motionless, every detail of getting along with him flashed before my eyes from time to time. The tears were no longer under my control, flowing out like a spring. My heart was left there, why should I come back.
Now that you are back, why not lose all your memories? How can a person without a heart live on?
One night passed quietly, and another night came in a hurry. I was still lying there quietly, my eyes still staring at the ceiling. I didn't feel sleepy or hungry. I didn't feel anything in my body. I raised my hand and touched it.
My own face, I don’t know which face it is, Ruoxi’s or mine. Suddenly I touched the pendant in my neck, and his voice seemed to ring in my ears again: “One day, you will be willing to wear it.
......."
I hurriedly got up and got out of bed, my feet gave way, and I collapsed on the ground. I struggled to get up and slowly moved to the mirror. The person in the mirror still seemed to be the same me when I changed the light bulb in 2005, but the difference was that then.
My face is full of vigor and vitality, instead of being pale and haggard now. Carefully holding the Mulan pendant around my neck, I feel that I am not dreaming. My Yinzhen has really appeared in my life.
.
Looking at myself in the mirror, my thoughts suddenly drifted far away. His cold eyes seemed to appear in front of me again. His sad look became clearer and clearer. His sad voice also sounded in my ears: "From today onwards,
,I never want to see you...","You should never touch me...".
Why do you have to hurt him so much? I feel like my heart is shaking violently. For a moment, my mind goes blank. My body falls back softly. I feel like my head hits the edge of the bed hard. There is a sharp pain and the darkness is like a flood.
The same comes... Just die like this and don't wake up. The days without him are no different from a walking corpse.
In May of the third year of Yongzheng's reign, the gate of Prince Yi's Yunxiang Mansion.
The sky was gloomy, and a gray mist shrouded everything, making people feel depressed and heavy. Just like my mood at the moment, it seemed that I had encountered something uncomfortable. Even the big red lantern hanging at the door of the palace did not look so good in the gloom.
It's so eye-catching that it actually feels particularly dazzling.
Wandering at the door, not knowing whether to knock or what to say after knocking on the door? Should I tell Thirteen that I am Ruoxi? Do I really want to be entangled with him for the rest of my life? Hasn't he not forgiven himself?
But why did God send me here again? It was God's will. When I woke up, I found myself lying at the door of Shisan's mansion.
"Miss." The sound of opening the door came from behind, mixed with Qiao Hui's hesitant voice. He looked down at his moon-white clothes with magnolia flowers embroidered on the cuffs, and couldn't help but smile bitterly in his heart. It was as if God was joking with him.
When I came to this dynasty again, I was wearing his favorite clothes, and I came to the door of his beloved brother's house again. I turned around slowly, only to see Qiao Hui, whose face was pale, staring blankly.
I.
"You...you...who are you?" Qiaohui looked me up and down several times. From the change of expression on Qiaohui's face, I knew that I was no longer the same as Ruoxi when I came back this time. Looking at the person I once treated sincerely
My dear, I felt hot in my heart and said, "Qiaohui, Chenghuan, how are you all?" I knew clearly that she could no longer recognize me, but I still hugged her tightly.
Qiaohui gently broke away, looked at me carefully again, looked at me and said: "The voice sounds like a lady, but...but who are you? How do you know my little princess? How do you know
You will know who I am, I don't know you." I know I can't explain it clearly, but what should I do...
Standing in the main hall, quietly looking at Thirteen who was gradually approaching, there was a heat flowing in my chest and my eyes were a little hot. I couldn't help but clenched my fists tightly and suppressed the urge to call people.
This is his most trusted thirteenth brother, my best friend here. I am eager to know how Yinzhen is doing now, but can I ask at this moment? Can Thirteen understand the meaning of death in this era?
A person who is reborn in this era and is no longer the same Ruoxi as before? No matter how good my reasons are, he will not accept or admit them.
Looking at Thirteen's seemingly calm eyes but with doubts flashing in his eyes, I quietly wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes, pulled out a smile from the corner of my mouth, slowly knelt down and said softly: "Master, your servant Ma Ertai. Xiaowen, please go ahead."
The family has experienced changes in the past few days, and now there is no one else in the house. I hope that the master can take me in, and I will be very grateful." Since God has once again allowed me to come to this era, I can stay with his favorite thirteenth brother and receive blessings from time to time.
His news is also a blessing from God to me.
After waiting quietly for a while, Thirteen did not speak. I was a little anxious. If he didn't take me in, I would be alone here. I raised my head silently and stared at him. His brows were lightly frowned, but his expression remained calm.
After a while, Thirteen looked at Qiaohui with a slight smile on his face. Qiaohui looked solemn and briefly described how he discovered me. In fact, he understood in his heart why Qiaohui took it upon himself to lead me in, and his heart felt warm again.
, the tears in the corners of his eyes fell again.
After listening, Shisan was silent for a while, and then said to me calmly: "You and Qiaohui will take care of Chenghuan Gege from now on." I bowed my head in response, stood up, and silently followed Qiaohui to the inner courtyard.
go.
After stepping out of the threshold, I glanced back quietly, and happened to catch Shisan's inquiring eyes. I smiled lightly at him, turned my head, and quickly followed Qiaohui towards the inner courtyard.
Cheng Huan still lives in the courtyard where I brought her into the palace a few years ago. She stood in silence for a while, and suddenly there came the beautiful sound of the zheng, which was the song "Return to the Palace". Listening to the familiar melody, she walked quickly to
She walked to the door and opened the door gently. Standing in front of her, she saw Chenghuan's eyes were a little red and swollen, and her face was stained with tears. Poor child, her mother had already abandoned her, and now...
Unable to hold back any longer, he softly called out: "Cheng Huan."
"Aunt, aunt..." Cheng Huan suddenly stopped when he threw himself in front of me, "You... you are not Aunt Ruoxi." After saying that, his mouth immediately started to drop, and his tears were like broken beads.
They all flowed down the same way. I walked up to her, knelt down and hugged her tightly, biting my lips hard, tears dripping down Cheng Huan’s back. No matter how surprised Qiao Hui was or what she looked like.
, I just want to hold the child I have always cared about like this. Maybe to me, Cheng Huan is like my own biological child.
The little man in my arms was just silent for a moment before he broke away forcefully and ran behind Qiaohui. With tears on his face, he stretched out his head and looked at me quietly. Qiaohui also looked confused.
Seeing the expressions of Qiaohui and Chenghuan, she reminded herself again that she was no longer Ruoxi, and everything would start from scratch. She sighed secretly in her heart, stood up and smiled at Chenghuan: "Gege, this slave is new to the house.
Yes. Your Majesty has ordered your slave to serve you together with Qiao Hui."
Cheng Huan was still asking behind Qiao Hui: "Why are you wearing aunt's clothes? You know aunt." I couldn't explain this clearly, but I didn't want to lie to her, so I had to say: "That's because I'm a slave.
I like clothes like this very much. Does Gege’s aunt also have clothes like this?”
After listening to my words, Chenghuan slowly walked out from behind Qiaohui, walked to my side and tugged on my sleeves. I hurriedly knelt down and Chenghuan got into my arms and quietly put his head on mine.
On her shoulder, I was stunned for a moment, then gently hugged her.
After a long time, Cheng Huan raised his little face and said, "Your embrace is as warm as Aunt Ruoxi's. Cheng Huan will feel it if you really want to hold Cheng Huan." Hearing Cheng Huan's words in his arms, tears welled up again.
The days of missing him became much better from the few words Cheng Huan heard. Every time at this time, he always laughed at himself in his heart. In the past, he always thought about how to escape from the palace, but when he finally came out, and if he didn't tell others, others would never
When I didn’t know my true identity, I missed the past so much. Sometimes I suddenly felt that being under the same blue sky and breathing the air in the same space was also happiness.
Summer seems to have come very early this year. It has just entered August and it is already a bit stuffy. Even the gentle breeze brings a hint of heat.
Chenghuan was sweating profusely under the tree but refused to stop. I stood aside and looked at her quietly, feeling happy in my heart. After more than two months of my careful care, Chenghuan became more and more fond of being with me.
I no longer cry for Aunt Ruoxi all day long. Although I felt a little disappointed at first, I felt relieved immediately. Just imagine which relative doesn't want their child to grow up happily.
"Chenghuan, what are you doing?" I don't know when Yunxiang stood behind me. "I've seen you before." She stepped aside gently and greeted him with a smile.
This is the second time I have seen Thirteen since I came back this time. He seems to be thinner than the first time I saw him. There is a hint of sadness between his eyebrows. Is there anything difficult to do in the court? From the history I know
They understand that this is the time when they are the most tired. The Eight Lords Party still exists, and Nian Gengyao and Longkodo are becoming more and more restless. How is he? Is he reviewing memorials day and night again?...
Cheng Huan came over and timidly said: "Amma, I'm doing rubber band jumping. Aunt Xiaowen taught me." After saying that, he pulled me as if asking for help. Cheng Huan was still a little nervous in front of Yunxiang. I rubbed her
With sweat on his forehead, he smiled and said: "Master, it's like this. Today, Princess has been playing the piano for an hour. I think it might be better for the children to combine work and rest." After listening to these few words of mine,
I felt Thirteen's eyes lingering on me for a few seconds.
The three of them stood in silence for a while. Cheng Huan raised his head and stared at Thirteen and said, "Amma, I want to tell you something. Xiaowen, go get the sour plum soup." I nodded, turned around and walked out.
"Amma, on August 15th, I want to go to the palace to see the emperor." Cheng Huan's voice came from behind me. My steps froze, and my heart twitched for no reason. Before I stepped out of the threshold, Thirteen's voice came: "
I was planning to take you there, but your uncle Huang is in a bad mood, so you go and behave yourself."
As soon as Thirteen finished speaking, Cheng Huan had already asked: "Is it still Aunt Ruoxi?" I staggered and hurriedly held on to the arch next to me. My heart felt like it had been suddenly scratched by a knife. I walked out of the courtyard with support, holding on to the door.
He walked a few steps forward against the wall, but his strength became weaker and weaker. He slowly turned around, leaned against the wall, raised his head, and tried not to let tears flow down. He always thought that he was strong, but when he heard him
After hearing the news, I was shocked to realize that I was just lying to myself.
Thirteen in the courtyard sighed softly: "Yes, so don't mention Aunt Ruoxi's affairs in front of your uncle Huang." I caressed my chest and closed my eyes. Cheng Huan sobbed and cried: "Ama, I
After entering the palace, can I live in the palace like when Aunt Ruoxi was here? Amma, you spend more time in the palace than in the mansion. I don’t want to live in the mansion. I miss Uncle Huang and Aunt Ruoxi.
, I miss Brother Hongli..."
Under the silvery moonlight, I was walking around with my food box. A breeze blew, which was refreshing and cool, and it was really comfortable. Whenever there is a moon, I always like to carry a pot of wine and find a quiet place to be quiet.
Pour and drink by yourself.
Looking up at the bright moon, I seemed to see Wu Gang and Chang'e standing side by side under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree. I lowered my head and smiled bitterly, did he really hate him so much? He hated me so much that he didn't even see me for the last time. He stood quietly.
After a long time, I gradually recovered my misty thoughts, walked slowly into the pavilion in front of me, and set out some food and drinks for myself.
It wasn't until the moon was setting in the west and I finished both bottles of wine that I felt a little tipsy. I propped my cheek on my hand and stared at the bright moon. The figures from the past passed through my mind one by one. I never knew that I missed them so much.
, murmured in his mouth and repeated: "Yinzhen, Yunxiang, Yunqi, Minmin..."
The day has arrived on August 15th in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t help but smile when I saw Chenghuan running all over the floor with joy. Chenghuan still likes the life in the palace. Maybe for Chenghuan, the palace is her real home.
Master Thirteen looked at Cheng Huan with doting eyes. I watched with my own eyes as Thirteen transformed from a suave and handsome prince into a loving father. I felt happy in my heart and kept scanning the two of them. Looking at Qiao Qiao
Hui had already put away her belongings and walked in from outside the courtyard. Chenghuan looked at Thirteen and called out, "Ama." Thirteen shook his head and said, "Go ahead." Chenghuan happily ran towards the courtyard door.
It wasn't until Cheng Huan left the courtyard that Thirteen looked away, stared at me quietly for a while, and said with a smile: "Xiaowen, you will go with Gege alone when you enter the palace this time. Watch her carefully after entering the palace, and let her
Let’s learn some things that my daughter should learn.” I nodded, feeling happy in my heart, and a look of joy could not help but appear on my face.
While I was being happy, I accidentally noticed Thirteen staring at me thoughtfully. I was shocked. His eyes seemed to be seeing something. Although I wanted him to know that I was Ruoxi, would he believe it? I wasn't sure. Thinking of this, my face became solemn, my eyebrows lowered and I stood there motionless.
After a while of silence, Thirteen said softly: "You have never been to the palace. There are many rules in the palace. You have to be careful and pay more attention. I will let the palace master teach you something. Take good care of Princess. , don’t let her pester the emperor all the time.”
I was startled and a little confused. Chenghuan had her own palace and me to take care of her, but Yinzhen only dealt with court affairs in the Yangxin Hall on weekdays. How could Chenghuan have the opportunity to pester him all day long? The third time he saw that I was confused, he smiled faintly: "I forgot, you go directly to the Old Summer Palace this time. When you get there, you will understand what I mean."
Thirteen looked at me for a while, sighed softly, got up and walked towards the entrance of the courtyard.
I was thinking wildly while walking. Thirteen's eyes looked a little strange today, but after thinking about it carefully, I couldn't tell anything. I was confused when I suddenly felt that I bumped into someone.
"Oh." I stroked my nose and sat down on the ground. Really, when I stopped, didn't I know to say hello, "Thirteenth Master, you..." I blurted out the words. I was stunned, what's wrong with me? Why can't I remember that I am no longer Ruoxi?
Seeing the flash of doubt in Thirteen's eyes, I was a little stunned. Soon his face returned to its usual expression, "Xiaowen, don't wear this dress again after entering the palace." I looked at him deliberately. With an understatement, I immediately understood what he meant.
"Yes, Your Majesty." I said softly with the attitude a slave should have, and tried hard to stay calm. Yinzhen, if you have a brother like this, don't do it for other brothers.