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Chapter 134 Lost the sense of belonging

Zhao Erniang brought people to Yuanshui Tea Garden and said, "Look who I brought here" as if taking credit. Only then did Zhang Ning realize that Fang Ling and Taohua Fairy were also here, and he immediately praised or blamed Zhao Erniang. Last month, Zhang Ning

Of course he didn't want to pick Fang Ling over when he asked someone to take the letter to Chunhan Liyuan; he himself was still in a lot of troubles in Changde Mansion and had no direction for many things. This time was not suitable for having women around him.

Concerned... But people have come from far away, so what else can we do? We can't just drive them away right away, right?

When the troops arrived at Changde Mansion, Zhang Ning's plan was to first make a list of names, establish a top-down organization, and then discuss with a few important people to make detailed arrangements. However, something unexpected happened now, so he planned to receive Fang Ling first and put down other matters.

Until tomorrow. Zhang Ning has been to Chunhan Liyuan several times, and Fang Ling and the others have received them personally and are enthusiastic about everything. Now that they are here, Zhang Ning should personally entertain them and take care of their food and accommodation.

They were first taken to the back garden to put their luggage and rest for a while, and then went to a pavilion in the garden facing Yuanshui River to meet Zhang Ning and reminisce about old times. The Peach Blossom Fairy threw away her things, ignored everything, and was busy asking people to fetch water.

He showered, changed clothes, and dressed up. Fang Ling couldn't help but smile knowingly when he saw this.

When they met, although they were all acquaintances, etiquette was still indispensable. When greeting each other, Peach Blossom Fairy was just thinking about clasping her fists and cupping her hands as usual, when she suddenly remembered what Fang Ling said: "Slow down your movements to look more graceful."

", then he blushed and slowly folded his hands on his lower abdomen, lowered his eyes, slightly bent his knees and said a blessing.

Zhang Ning was stunned when he saw this. He didn't react. He always felt that something was wrong. After a while, he quickly stood up and made a gesture of support: "Fairy, there is no need to be polite... I feel like I am sitting on pins and needles receiving this great gift from you..."

Are you acclimated to the local environment, or where do you feel uncomfortable?"

Fang Ling held it in for a while, and finally couldn't help covering his mouth and burst into laughter.

Zhang Ning said casually: "I'm not an outsider. Stop pretending. It's fine and refreshing as usual."

Peach Blossom Fairy was already very embarrassed, but she was laughed at kindly, and she blushed and said: "Oh, I'm pretending, I see you are pretending to be decent, and it seems real.

Is it called treating each other as a guest?"

It's okay that she didn't mention it. After a little break, Zhang Ning really felt that Fang Ling's attitude had changed a lot this time, and his etiquette was more considerate. He was more respectful and obedient and less intimate. He also called him "adult" or something like that.

Yes, the number of births has increased a lot.

Afterwards, they talked about the purpose of this trip, and Zhang Ning suddenly realized that Fang Ling was the contact person sent by Jianwen. Jianwen's party members responded very quickly. Not long after he wrote a letter and revealed the news, they quickly

It was a good arrangement. He also heard that the person responsible for contacting and cooperating with him was "Mrs. Yao". Zhang Ning suddenly felt a little more hopeful. He had already begun to look forward to receiving letters from "Mrs. Yao". The beautiful and full fonts made it easy to read.

Like a breath of fresh air.

Since Fang Ling and his family were on errands, Zhang Ning planned to let them settle down first. There was a private courtyard behind the garden where Zhang Ning and his family lived, so he personally took Fang Ling and Fairy Peach Blossom there to give them

Arrange a place to live. This side is close to the water, and there is a high wall to block the noise of the tea garden. It is a relatively quiet place, just in time for them to have a good rest after a long journey; and the back door of this yard does not allow guests to enter, so it will be quiet when the time comes.

There is also a certain degree of concealment when delivering messages.

After finishing these things, it was almost dusk, so Zhang Ning had dinner with Lao Xu and others. After the meal, he stayed in Yuanshui Garden and did not return to the Yamen.

Zhang Ning usually stayed in the hotel next to the Yamen of Changde Mansion. Because Wu Yong and others also lived there, he claimed that the officials lived in the tea garden because of their status, and stayed with Wu Yong in the hotel.

Wu Yong getting involved too much in business affairs is equivalent to squeezing Wu Yong out.

There was nothing he could do about it. As the official in charge of this matter, he had contacts with the "rebellious party". If he didn't take precautions in advance, what would happen if Wu Yong found out about it over time? At the moment, Zhang Ning was still confused.

Worrying about everything and having too many things to worry about...this is probably the source of mental stress.

Fang Ling brought news about Yao Ji, and he thought more about his situation. At the moment, he still had to protect his identity as an official. The power gained from this status was too great. When running practical affairs, the government would give him everything he needed.

It is convenient, and the government has the greatest local power and influence. If you lose this status, you can only defect to Jianwen's party members. What resources can you use and what can you do?

Suddenly Zhang Ning lost his "sense of belonging". Even if he had modern experience and thoughts, he would still be afraid of this feeling. In his previous life, he didn't get along so well, but he was also in a large state-owned enterprise that was not easy to collapse.

With a fixed job, there is a sense of belonging. A small individual relies on a large interest group, and has recognized academic qualifications and work qualifications as a basis. His own positioning and development have a direction: his position in society, his role and

The sense of existence is more or less attached.

And where does he belong now? How does he participate in this social rule, and what role does he play? He has lost his sense of belonging.

When Lao Xu, Wen Jun, Zhao Erniang, Fang Ling and others saw that he held a certain amount of power, was respected by others, and seemed young, promising and capable, who could understand the fear and uneasiness in his heart?

Duplicity is completely playing with fire, which is not that fun. But how to choose between "taking" and "giving up"? If you give up your official career, the energy and resources you can obtain will be greatly reduced, which is even more detrimental to your hidden "ambition"

, with just the power of Jianwen Yudang, it will take years and months to build up momentum; given her background, she may not be able to feel at ease in this life, even if she thinks about it, she will not be able to face it, and it is more likely to be exposed by people from Jianwen's side.

No matter how much merit and qualifications you have in the officialdom of the imperial court, it will be in vain. Everything may be taken away overnight. How can you feel at ease when you are aware of hidden dangers?

Like countless other nights, Zhang Ning went back to his room to rest with anxiety and worry. As soon as he entered the door, he saw his little sister folding clothes by the bed. The washed and dried clothes were put in, and she was folding them carefully and putting them away.

Zhang Ning had to admit that the little sister was very meticulous in doing such a small thing. The clothes were packed as if they were brand new. Perhaps only a simple state of mind can do such a job.

When the little sister heard the footsteps, she turned around quickly and the expression on her face was instantly surprised: "Brother, I knew it was you who came back!"

Zhang Ning said: "Didn't Chayuanzi arrange for a few girls to come over and let them do the housework? Otherwise, it would be like I am treating my sister as a maid."

The younger sister shook her head: "I can take good care of my brother, do some work every day, and then wait for him to come back. That's good."

Zhang Ning sat down on the chair a little tiredly. He didn't seem to do much every day, but he always felt tired. Maybe the hard work was also very tiring. He thought about the little sister's words, nodded slightly and felt that it made sense.

My sister used to help with the work at the Yunjin shop in her hometown, and she lived a simple and fulfilling life with close family members and relatives; now she is left to do nothing all day long, which is really boring.

He suddenly found a piece of paper on the table with some small regular script written on it. There was no calligraphy at all, just a very formal stroke. He immediately recognized it: "The calligraphy written by the little sister?" After that, he picked it up and looked at it.

.

The little girl suddenly realized it and hurried over to grab the paper in his hand. She blushed and said, "I copied it according to the book. The writing was too ugly. I forgot to collect it just now."

"In the autumn of Renxu, in July, Su Zi and his guests went boating under Red Cliff. The breeze came slowly, and the water was calm... "Ode to the Former Red Cliff" was written by Su Shi of the Northern Song Dynasty." Zhang Ning read a sentence and said.

The little sister said a little embarrassedly: "I don't know what it means. Brother, tell me a story."

"How old are you, and you want to listen to stories." Zhang Ning said casually, thought for a while and said, "If you really want to learn poetry, it's a bit difficult to start with this kind of poetry. Let's learn simple Tang poetry first. It has fewer words and is better.

back."

The younger sister whispered: "I usually see my brother always writing and calculating, and the words are beautiful. I just copied them for fun... What's the use of learning this? Didn't my uncle say that a woman's lack of talent is a virtue?

I can’t take the imperial examination.”

Zhang Ning smiled and said: "What's the uselessness? If my little sister learns more poetry, she can be called a 'scholarly family, knowledgeable and polite' in the future. With a higher net worth, not only can she choose a better family, but she can also live a prosperous and happy life."

, you can also choose your husband’s appearance, character, and knowledge. What’s not the case? How valuable you are, you can choose high conditions, that’s all.”

The little sister remained silent after hearing this.

Zhang Ning talked to her for a while, forgetting his worries for a while, and said: "Recite a simple song first, and when I come back tomorrow night, my little sister will recite it to me. Let me think about it... Well,

Just this one: Sleeping in spring without realizing the dawn, mosquito bites everywhere..."

The little girl was wondering what she was thinking. When she heard this, she burst out laughing and said angrily: "Is there such a poem?"

"I recited it wrong..." Zhang Ning said with embarrassment, "I really didn't mean to do it. I don't wake up to the dawn in spring, and I hear birds singing everywhere. The sound of wind and rain at night, I know how many flowers have fallen."

"That's pretty much it." The little girl pondered thoughtfully for a while, her eyes widened with a smile, and she said happily, "I understand what it means."

Zhang Ning said: "That's good, I'll write it down for you."

As the pen tip wandered across the paper, Zhang Ning's mood suddenly improved. Isn't it the season of spring breeze and drizzle now? The poems he recited as a child were simple and catchy, and suddenly he remembered the scene and it was still so beautiful.

The younger sister said softly and understandingly in her ear: "Brother looked bad just now, is he in trouble again?"

Zhang Ning showed a smile: "It's okay, little sister, don't worry about those mundane affairs. Brother will be satisfied when he sees you so simple and happy, living peacefully. You will grow into a beautiful and temperamental girl."

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