There is a faint scent of osmanthus in the air, a simple bookcase, an old window, a very familiar scene, at least in my memory. Zhang Ning spent countless days and nights in this corner. He grew up here.
.
He also remembered the moment he just woke up from this room and faced a new life. The first thing he saw was Zhang Xiaomei’s surprised face. What a lovely face. In addition, he also loved her.
There are more secret feelings in her heart. Maybe there is a shadow of another person in her body, that little girl who always stays at a few years old. Zhang Ning can no longer remember her appearance at all. There is only a hazy impression in her heart, even
Her face was blank in her dreams. Sometimes Zhang Ning would have some strange illusions. Since he could be reborn, maybe Zhang Xiaomei was reborn by her.
The first person you see and the first time you love will be hard to forget when you grow old, right? Love is a big and complicated word. Zhang Ning didn’t fully understand it in his two lifetimes, but he was sure that he loved Zhang Xiaomei.
In the fifteenth century, the person he loved most in the world...maybe it was family affection, maybe more, but in short, he didn't simply want to do something to her.
Sometimes his feelings are very selfless, just wanting Zhang Xiaomei to live a good life in peace; sometimes they become a bit extreme, wanting to keep her in his life and not want to lose her, even if she leaves his world.
If it goes well, Zhang Ning will also feel very uncomfortable.
When he was feeling complicated, he suddenly heard a familiar "crunching" sound on the stairs. Zhang Ning listened and recognized that it was Zhang Xiaomei coming up. He put away the auspicious charm in his hand and hid it in his arms, and continued calmly.
Sitting.
As expected, it was Zhang Xiaomei who opened the door and walked in. She said a little unhappy: "Brother really wants me to see that second young master?"
The left side of Zhang Ning's face twitched slightly as a reflex. He looked at Zhang Xiaomei's fair and pure face. She was as pure and beautiful as an angel.
"I know you can't bear to leave me." Zhang Xiaomei murmured.
Zhang Ning soon came back to his senses, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. After all, there was no blood relationship, so some of his secret emotions were not dirty? But he quickly thought: his surname has been Zhang since he was a baby. If something shocking happens to the world,
If something happens, there is no doubt that it will be spurned by the moral public opinion of the whole society; humans are social animals, and it is difficult to survive completely regardless of the impact, especially in an era like the Ming Dynasty where morality was greater than the law. The overall consequences are more serious than imagined.
He paused and then forced a smile and said: "Of course I can't bear to leave my little sister, but you are going to get married when you get older. All the girls in the world cannot stay in their parents' family for the rest of their lives. Do you need your brother to teach you this truth? Some girls are ten
I will get married when I am 23, and my little sister will be 16 this year."
"Alas." Zhang Xiaomei's still childish face showed worry like an adult and sighed, walked to the opposite side of Zhang Ning and sat down, supporting her chin with both hands and looking at Zhang Ning with big bright eyes.
Zhang Ning turned to look out the window, speechless.
"I understand what brother said." Zhang Xiaomei murmured again, "But, I just want to be with brother. I want to watch you study at home, and I can wait even when you are away. I have one thought.
"
The soft affection teased Zhang Ning's fragile psychology, but he didn't say anything.
Zhang Xiaomei added: "Why don't we put the Su family's affairs aside and talk about it later."
Zhang Ning thought of a solution and couldn't help but agree. Suddenly he turned his head and looked as if he was relieved. When he stretched out his hand, he realized that he didn't know what to do. It stopped in mid-air and slowly retracted it.
Went back.
The emotions between words and deeds made Zhang Xiaomei feel real. She was also overjoyed and blurted out with some excitement: "It would be great if I could marry my brother!"
"What did you say?" Zhang Ning frowned immediately.
Zhang Xiaomei hurriedly moved the stool over, hugged Zhang Ning's arm, rested her head on his shoulder, and said softly: "I'm talking nonsense. But if I don't get married, it will be the same if I stay with my brother all the time. Those seventh aunts
At most, the eighth mother-in-law has some gossip about me, and it’s none of my brother’s business.”
At first glance, it sounded very tempting to Zhang Ning, and his inner approval made him realize that he was also very selfish.
However, Zhang Xiaomei is relatively simple, but Zhang Ning knows that it is not that simple. He selfishly wants to possess it, and it is her wish anyway, but he easily realizes that one day she may blame him, or even despise and hate him; he doesn't want to be that far away,
Even if it is a marriage that looks good at the moment, if it is because of my wrong decision-making, I may complain in my heart when my younger sister understands life better. After all, you can’t find a good husband’s family everywhere. After passing this village, maybe
That store no longer exists, otherwise why would there be so many leftover women in modern times who hate to get married?
Who is the most important person in a woman's heart is a constantly changing variable. Normally, one day in the future, for Zhang Xiaomei, she should no longer be the person she cares about the most, but just her brother, a close relative of her natal family.
, that's all; now that she talks so affectionately, it's because her world has not yet matured, and she is the best person in the family who treats her the best, and she has developed a sense of dependence... That's about it.
"You are talking nonsense again." Zhang Ning gently pushed Xiaomei Zhang away and said sincerely, "In the future, you must learn more about how to deal with others and understand what you should do and what you shouldn't do, so as not to make your husband's family feel wronged."
Zhang Xiaomei was pushed away by the rejection, and her face suddenly showed an aggrieved expression, which made Zhang Ning feel uncomfortable.
"Brother! Are you tired of me? You wish I would get married soon!" Zhang Xiaomei was pushed away as if she was about to cry.
"Why am I tired of you..." Zhang Ning looked at her with mixed emotions, thinking that it's too late for me to love you, and it will never change at any time; if I can change one day, I will promise you now. Why do I
Do you understand if I want to refuse?
He lowered his head and said slowly: "I don't ask for you to rely on me now. I just want that many years later, when you see me, you can happily call me brother, and we can chat about old things and have fun at home."
Perhaps Zhang Ning inadvertently showed his contagious sadness, but Zhang Xiaomei suddenly started to cry, as if she was very sad.
Zhang Ning comforted her with kind words: "In the past, our parents died early, and the brother and sister depended on each other. The younger sister was very pitiful. In the future, you will have a new life, with your own husband and children. They are all your relatives, and your life will be better."
Successful."
Unexpectedly, the more comfort she received, the harder she cried, and she just cried without speaking.
Zhang Ning said: "Uncle will arrange a meeting with the Su family. You don't have to come forward. Just stay quietly at the back of the hall and watch." After saying that, he stood up and said, "I am going back to Wuyuan and have official duties. You can listen at home.
As for the elders, it’s not like I want you to leave the Zhang family right away.”
"Brother, won't you go with me?" Zhang Xiaomei wiped away her tears and hurriedly grabbed Zhang Ning.
"I don't have to go..." Zhang Ning thought to himself that I went to see that young master just to spite myself, as if he was his love rival, but I couldn't compete with him. "The background of the Su family shouldn't be a big problem, Su
I know good ministers. The ancestors of those who have honors are innocent for three generations. The honors of the students confirm a lot of information. It mainly depends on the younger sister's own impression, whether she looks pleasing to the eye or not, whether her words and deeds are appropriate, etc. Don't worry, take your time.
Learn slowly."
The little girl looked at him pitifully. Her eyes were bright and her smile was contagious. Zhang Ning deliberately didn't look at him and went straight downstairs.
In fact, Wu Yuan has nothing to do. The whole interview has made the organization finish. Why bother with so much? Since Emperor Hongxi came to the throne, there has been no new layout. Everyone is waiting to be abolished and the property accounts of various places are being liquidated. Anyone who has connections can be found.
It's not a matter of looking for a new job, it's okay to find another way out, that's all. However, the properties below Wuyuan have not been recovered for the time being, so I can stay there for a while; even if it is officially abolished, Zhang Ning still has the rank of doctor of the Nanjing Ministry of Rites, Tian
Note that the official is also an official and receives his salary as usual, but he does not have any real power for the time being.
It was a quiet morning doing nothing, with a little sadness.
He led the horse and walked on Liren Street, and in a daze he remembered his childhood friend Zhou Qiang, the best friend who ran away from home with him. He had played together since childhood. However, he had rarely contacted him since he was a teenager.
After I left my hometown to work in the city, I never contacted him again.
Recalling the past, regardless of right and wrong, Zhou Qiang was actually a kind of betrayal; but Zhang Ning never held a grudge against him, because what happened before the betrayal was wrong in itself and did not comply with social rules. The oath to heaven is just a joke, and people and
The relationship between people is ultimately just a relationship, a relationship that exists for various reasons, various purposes, and with various rules. Without specific rules, it is nothing. You are a loner in life.
Suddenly, Zhang Ning seemed to have returned to the early morning many years ago. The "brother" who accompanied him was gone, leaving him alone at a strange train station, confused and unaware of the meaning of life. He had clearly endured betrayal, but he had to
Carrying the reputation of teaching other people's children bad things, and even he can only admit it to himself.
He shook the reins, raised his head and hummed a little tune twice, and continued walking leisurely. The world is not all gray, there is right and wrong, black and white, and rules. We can only abide by the rules. Even the masters who make the rules don't want to do what they want.
Just how to do it, you need to abide by larger rules "objective laws"... Then Zhang Xiaomei did something right. At least she acted without mistakes, and there is no need to worry about it. Maybe the things that happened to her at the beginning were not
The hidden emotions that cannot be seen in the light are themselves superfluous.
Liren Street is already very lively, with dignified people and slovenly vendors and footmen bustling together. The lives of all kinds of people are mixed together to form a market society. The sun is shining dimly in the clouds in the east.
, the streets and alleys seemed to be shrouded in a very light mist in cloudy weather.
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