"I..." Jing Yirong started but stopped because he didn't know what to say.
Nalan Qingyi raised her head with doubts in her eyes. Seeing that Jing Yirong didn't speak for a long time, she sighed helplessly. She stood up and walked to Jing Yirong, squatted in front of Jing Yirong and held her hand. "I'm sorry."
Jing Yirong was stunned for a moment and then smiled bitterly. "I should be the one who should say I'm sorry. I hurt you."
"This is not the choice you want." Nalan Qingyi comforted. "The last thing you want is for us to be hurt. You almost sacrificed yourself to save Zhenqi. Then you couldn't help but push away We and I can only watch everything happen. There is nothing we can do to help. So the one who should say sorry is not you but me."
Jing Yirong looked at Nalan Qingyi dreamingly. There was some uncertainty and confusion in his eyes.
Nalan Qingyi was shocked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Don't you blame me at all?" Jing Yirong asked. "Even though everything is not my choice, why don't you think about why I forgot about you even if I lost my memory? Don't you Do you blame me for remembering you even if I forget that everyone else should remember you? Just because you are the most important person to me and the only existence in my heart. Don’t you have any complaints about this?"
Nalan Qingyi gently took Jing Yirong's hand, put it on her mouth and kissed it softly. "Resentment, but what can I do with resentment? The resentment towards you now will only make you feel painful and uncomfortable. There are already too many things that have caused you pain, and I don’t want even my own share to be counted. So I won’t blame you, blame you, but be grateful to you. Thank you for remembering me. Thank you for coming back here to find me. "
Jing Yirong stared at Nalan Qingyi, feeling moved but also having an indescribable emotion. She actually felt that Nalan Qingyi in front of her was a little bit strange and scared. If you love someone, you can really forget everything. For yourself? Can you forget those feelings of resentment?
"What's wrong?" Nalan Qingyi looked at Jing Yirong nervously.
Jing Yirong shook his head. "It's okay. It's just that your lack of complaint shocked me."
Nalan Qingyi stood up and hugged Jing Yirong into her arms. "For me to be happy is God's infinite love. Now to get you again is another miracle. How can I dare to complain." Nalan Qingyi hugged her tightly. Embracing the scenery and attire, it is like a long-lost treasure that has been found for a long time. It is precious and rare.
Jing Yirong covered up all the emotions in her heart and stretched out her arms to hug Nalan Qingyi. She should be thankful. She should be happy because Nalan Qingyi did not reject her or complain about her as expected. Hold her tightly in his arms.
At night, Jing Yirong stared at Nalan Qingyi who was sleeping soundly. He lifted up the sheets and walked out of the room. There was no sound in the quiet courtyard except the sound of the cold wind whistling by. Jing Yirong sat there Standing on the stone pillar beside the corridor, he was deep in thought. What flashed through his mind was all Ye Xieming's love and hate. It was so strong. It was so strong that Jing Yirong could not ignore it.
Jing Yirong closed her eyes helplessly, forcing herself not to think about Ye Xieming. Footsteps sounded behind her. Jing Yirong spoke alertly, "Who."
"It's me." Mo Feiyu's figure flashed out. "Miss Jing is still up so late."
"Have you been by Qing Yi's side these days?" Jing Yirong asked without answering.
Mo Feiyu didn't care either. "Yeah."
"Then what has he done these days?"
"Mr. Nalan hasn't done anything special these days except for occasionally going out for shopping and reading. What he does every day is probably waiting. He sits at the door of the inn and always looks at every passerby. Mr. Nalan really misses you."
"Yeah."
Mo Feiyu noticed Jing Yirong's expression. "Miss Jing, don't you believe it?"
"Do you still hate it?" Jing Yirong again did not answer Mo Feiyu's question and asked another question.
Mo Feiyu couldn't understand Jing Yirong's question for a moment. "What."
Jing Yirong's tone was calm. "Do you still hate Xing Feng and Xing Lie? Even after you have killed them, does that hatred still exist?"
"Hate." Mo Feiyu replied without hesitation. "Although this kind of hatred no longer makes me miserable, it still exists in my heart all the time. This kind of hatred may be for Xing Feng and Xing Lie. Maybe I hate God. I hate why He let me go through all this. Not all emotions will disappear as things are resolved. As a human being, I probably can't do this."
"There is someone who can." Jing Yirong smiled bitterly.
Mo Feiyu was surprised. "Who."
"Qingyi can do it." Jing Yirong looked at Mo Feiyu. "He can always have no resentment or hatred. Apart from tolerance, there is only tenderness. No matter what happened between us. No matter who I forgot when I lost my memory. He didn't do anything to hurt them. As long as I come back to him, he doesn't care about anything. It's like nothing happened. Mo Feiyu, tell me why, why he can be so tolerant."
"I..." Mo Feiyu was speechless.
Jing Yirong stood up and walked to the yard. He said in a cold voice, "I didn't understand feelings before and didn't think there was anything wrong with his tolerance. Now the more I understand, the more doubts I have. A person can treat another person without resentment or hatred. A person has nothing but love. He just doesn't care. For three months, he could hold back all his thoughts and quietly wait for my return. Is this relationship too trusting or not?"
"Young Master Nalan cares about you," Mo Feiyu said eagerly. "Miss Jing, you are worrying too much. Young Master Nalan is looking forward to your return every day. He is just not good at expressing himself."
Jing Yirong looked at Mo Feiyu blankly. After a long time, he laughed again. "A memory loss actually changed my personality. I will stand here to discuss relationship matters with you." Jing Yirong sighed and looked up. In the dark night That bright moon is missing a corner. I don’t know where it is missing.
Inside the room, Nalan Qingyi listened to the conversation between Jing Yirong and Mo Feiyu. A smile covered his gentle face. Nalan Qingyi can be gentle to everyone because he is illusory, so he can forgive everyone. He tolerates all people's mistakes and tolerates all people's faults. All this is because he is not his true self.
Of course he complained. But this resentment did not belong to Nalan Qingyi. It belonged to Ye Xieming. He complained that Jing Yirong lost his memory and forgot everything, which gave him hope. He complained that Jing Yirong recovered again. The memory pushed him to the brink of despair. He still hated that Jing Yirong fell in love with this illusory Nalan Qingyi but turned a blind eye to him. He hated that Jing Yirong had obviously had feelings for Ye Xieming but could forget about it. Er Jin. But these grievances and hatreds cannot be told to Jing Yirong now. It is not the time yet. Even if she told her now, she would still be dismissive of the grievances and hatreds belonging to Ye Xieming.
…………
Early the next morning, Jing Yirong got up. He walked to the dining room and saw Mo Feiyu and Nalan Zhijin putting food in bamboo baskets. "What are you doing?"
"Master." Nalan Zhijin looked at Jing Yirong and did not answer. He tried his best to hide the little resentment he felt towards his master.
Jing Yirong's sharp eyes saw the flash of sadness and complaint in Nalan Zhijin's eyes. Before he could speak, the poisonous lady had already entered the room and put a pile of money on the table. "What are they doing? What can they do? What? They are preparing some food and drinks to see Xiao Yan. Jing Yirong, you won’t forget that you used to have a subordinate named Xiao Yan, right?"
"Poison Lady, please stop talking." Nalan Qingyi, who was following Poison Lady, nervously interrupted Poison Lady's words and looked at Jing Yirong. "Yirong, let the past go."
Jing Yirong's heart suddenly aroused. What came to mind was the indifferent appearance of herself towards Xiao Yan that day. The pain came to her like an overwhelming force that broke the embankment. The pain that penetrated into the bone marrow made Jing Yirong even a little bit nervous. There was no chance to resist. Together with the pain in his back, the tabletop that Jing Yirong was holding on seemed to be about to fall down at any moment with a pale face.
"Master." "Clothes."
Nalan Qingyi and Nalan Zhijin stepped forward to support Jing Yirong, with worried expressions on their faces.
"I'm fine." Jing Yirong smiled and shook his head. He turned to look at Nalan Zhijin. "You blame me, right?"
"I..." Nalan Zhijin lowered his head and did not answer. He did not want to blame the master. The fact that the master could return to their side made him so happy that he could not sleep. So he told himself that he could not blame the master. The master was lost. Yi Cai did not save Sister Xiao Yan. But...
"I'm sorry, Master." Nalan Zhijin shed helpless tears and held Jing Yirong's arm tightly. "I'm really sorry. I worked really hard. I worked so hard that I didn't want to think about the scene when sister Xiao Yan left. .But no matter what I think, I still often dream. I often dream about the scene where the master did not save sister Xiao Yan. I know that I can’t blame the master. I can’t blame the master at all. But. But I..."
Nalan Zhijin could no longer speak. The sound of crying covered up his voice, but it could not cover up the pain and entanglement in his voice. Why did it have to be like this every time? Every time, he wanted to get closer but couldn't. master.
Jing Yirong stared blankly at Nalan Zhijin's trembling and crying back. She really wanted to hold him in her arms, but was afraid of his resistance. She owed them so much that Jing Yirong couldn't do anything anymore. Show your kindness. Why should you be moved? Isn't the cold-blooded and ruthless Jing Yirong in the past better? At least he won't be as helpless as he is now.
"Stop crying." Jing Yirong could only push Nalan Zhijin's hand away and said this calmly.
Nalan Zhijin was afraid that Jing Yirong would be angry. He quickly raised his head and touched the tears on his face randomly. He sobbed and tried hard not to let the tears fall. "Don't cry. I won't cry anymore."
Jing Yirong looked at Nalan Zhijin in front of her, who was trying hard to hold back her tears. Nalan Zhijin, who was only 8 years old but was trying so hard to suppress her sadness. Her heart seemed to be scratched inch by inch by a razor blade. Is she too cruel? Just as he was about to stretch out his hand, Nalan Zhijin was pulled over by the poisonous lady and hugged him into her arms. She comforted him time and time again. "It's okay. It's over. If you're really sad, just cry for a while."
The poisonous lady said and then raised her head to look at Jing Yirong. "Is this how you become a master, Jing Yirong? Don't you see that Nalan Zhijin is in pain? What do you mean, don't cry? He is only 8 years old and you can't Let him be as mature and cold-blooded as you."
Jing Yirong looked confused. Is she cruel? She has never thought about such a problem. She doesn't need to think about it, because she always has her own opinion. Because she knows that the only thing she has to do is to protect everyone. The people she cares about only need to protect them from any harm. But now she is at a loss. After she took Xiao Yan's life with her own hands, she doesn't know what to do to prevent the people she cares from getting hurt.
Nalan Qingyi looked at the helpless expression on Jing Yirong's face with heartache. The expression on Jing Yirong's proud face was like a hard punch to his heart. Nalan Qingyi stepped forward and shook his hand. Lifting Jing Yirong's hand, a gentle voice sounded softly in Jing Yirong's ears. "Don't think about it anymore. Don't show such a helpless expression again. It's not your fault, Yirong."
"What should I do?" Jing Yirong turned around and looked into Nalan Qingyi's eyes. There was a hint of pleading, a touch of helplessness, and a touch of pain. "What should I do so that you won't be in pain."