Yang, if I could, I would trade three years for that season of tenderness. Let me face your sad face again and tell you that I am willing to be your brother in this life. Forever and ever.
But, Yang, we are all gone.
I stood alone in the afternoon of June. The tenderness that had appeared in my life had long since turned into solid ice, ruthlessly shattering our soft hearts in reality and in dreams.
I remember that winter, and everything that happened there is destined to become a scar deep in my heart that will never be able to swim to the other side of light.
The light snow in November was dancing and falling. Perhaps, at that time, I should not have walked into her silver-covered world in such a season, nor should I have written the sigh of snowflakes on BBS.
So, you came. I didn’t know who Huandie Zhanyue was at the time, but when I first heard the name, my heart still hurt slightly. I thought I was calm enough, but what you brought to me
But it is a feeling of lonely fighting in the dark.
Snowflakes are sad. You said that she came to this secular world with a pure white body, waiting for people to praise it, but her life is fleeting.
In my eyes, they wanted to remain innocent, but they were stained with dirt the moment they landed. The fear brought by the 10,000-meter-high altitude was not worth the sorrow caused by the dirt. Otherwise, how could they suddenly suddenly fall to the ground?
Where are the tears?
However, I also believed at that moment that you were just that snowflake that fell into the world, lost in the bizarre world of mortals.
You said that you were an indifferent woman who liked to fight alone in the dark. But you were only a sixteen-year-old child at that time, so how could I believe everything you said about what happened to you.
You said that you like Baby Annie, you like to smoke 520 in the dark like her, and you like to satisfy your soul for a moment of comfort through the destruction of your own body...
And all this, when I face you, I don't believe it even more. How can I believe that there is so much pain hidden behind that clear smile.
But, Yang, you smiled and tried to make me believe that all this was true. Until I saw those twisted scars on your arms, which were the marks mercilessly left by the hot cigarette butts. At that moment, they formed
It turned into a big black net, swallowing me up mercilessly. I wanted to shout, but found that I had lost my language.
Everything about me is naked in front of your dark eyes, which makes me feel unprecedented fear.
I felt like I was trapped in a sea of dark algae, my hair was rising violently, and the oxygen in the air was getting thinner and thinner.
I began to regret vaguely in my heart, regretting that I had brought the virtuality on the Internet into reality. I never thought that I was so cowardly, so afraid of facing the darkness in my bones. I just hope that I can live a normal life.
, everything went on peacefully according to the parents' wishes.
But, Yang, when I experienced that winter - only you sang with me, until now I think back on that dreamy winter, and I never regret it.
That winter that passed by vigorously in my life, how I wish it could be fixed there forever and never be replaced.
You are such a lonely child, how could I leave you alone, even though I was completely wounded by your indifference. Because, I told you, I want to be your brother, in this life.
And Yang, do you still remember these?
On the way back to the dormitory, we left behind traces of fallen ink, drew the cycle of fate on the red plastic runway, and heard the sad sound of wind passing through our ears in the dark night on campus.
And I always speak very few words. I am such a silent child, but I always smile to you. I thought that this way you can listen to the surging voice in my heart and experience my brotherly love for you.
care……
But Yang, when I looked back at the shadow cast by time in that season, I realized that I was so pale and naive at the time.
You and I are actually just two unrelated souls on the Internet, gaining a moment of comfort in the moment of intersection.
But Yang, when I knew this, I felt so sad. Could it be that everything that happened in that winter was an illusion? How could I believe that the words that appeared in your diary were also an illusion.
However, I have really touched them, and I have touched them so really.
But Yang, I never thought that things would develop in another direction in the future.
Maybe, parting can really take away a lot of things, friendship, love...
In fact, the estrangement between us had already begun in that warm spring. However, I never expected that the ending would be so miserable and difficult to end.
How can I tell you, Yang, no matter when or where, as long as you are willing, I will always be your brother.
But when I really discovered the distance between us, I had already left.
It was a summer that exhausted all the pain of my life. Many people had already found their dreams. But I went alone to the remote mountainous area known as the "Land of Dinosaurs" to find my dream again.
So, I became more silent than ever before. I always looked at the mountains in the distance until my eyes were sore. Those bright days always passed through my mind non-stop, until I leaned on the railing and was speechless.
But Yang, I have never forgotten you. I always think of you in the dead of night, and then I have insomnia all night long. I think of the thousand paper cranes I folded for you on New Year's Day, the lyrics on it, and every time
When I gave you a book, there was a warm note between the pages of the book, and there was a clear smile with falling cherry blossoms on your computer...
But, Yang, when I finally dialed your cell phone, my heart felt like it was falling into an abyss of eternity.
I heard your cold voice, as if I was facing a stranger. Do you know how much I wished it wasn't you on the other end of the phone, so that I could vent all my anger and depression.
In those days when even the hurricane couldn't make a single ripple, how much I wished I could hear your voice as clear as water on the phone, but I couldn't even satisfy this wish.
Yang, we have gone too far, we can no longer smell each other's breath.
Finally one day, I can no longer call your cell phone.
It turns out that I am so unimportant. I just want to be your brother. When you are sad, I can share your pain. When you are happy, I can see your smile. In this way, I have no regrets.
Already.
However, these have become extravagant hopes for me now.
Maybe everything that happened that winter was really just an illusion. But, Yang, I just hope you can remember that I am your brother, forever and ever...