I almost wanted to die because of that moment of blooming.
It is said that epiphyllum comes to the world with memories of its previous life. But my mind is still blank. I don’t know the meaning of life, and I live in vain in a numb and silent greenhouse.
Every flower has its unavoidable destiny. As an epiphyllum, I am destined to bloom in the dark night, and then wither rapidly before the stars recede. The flower blooms for a moment, and then withers and rests.
The soul cannot be baptized in the sun after all. With a gray lead shadow, it is hidden in a dark corner of midnight.
Every time the flowering period approaches, layers of fine lines will appear in the depths of my blank mind. I always think that something unforgettable will happen at the moment of blooming. However, along with the great pain, there is still nothingness except nothingness.
The empty flower grafted on memory never appears. And I am always trekking in emptiness and boredom, unable to find the other side of swimming.
My heart appealed to the Buddha. He said, "It's unspeakable. It's unspeakable."
I saw a touch of vague pity in his kind smile. The roc standing in his palm suddenly flapped its wings, and his sharp eyes shocked me.
Forgetting the passage of time, the passage of time is like clouds.
Old age is eroding the nerves inch by inch, and the soul is becoming sluggish little by little. Many times, I always forget to think, and the next second I grow up is just fulfilling the responsibility of life.
Life is a kind of duty, and how pale and powerless is this kind of duty that comes from instinct?
The heavy years should not give too much to flowers. The exile of peonies, the blood stains of cuckoos... beauty is unconsciously controlled by the balance of emotion. As a flower, while embodying the spirit of all things, it is also doomed to its tragedy. .
In the past, every time I thought about this, I felt extremely sad.
I know that this will be the last time I spend with her, and from now on, time and space will be separated.
She will become the most graceful girl, the most gentle woman, the most beautiful bride... and even when she gets old, the most charming wrinkles will bloom on her forehead.
Yesterday I was still thinking about the futility of life, but now I am sighing and reluctant to give up this life.
Some things can never be forgotten. And some promises can never be fulfilled.
I remember the soft light that the sun cast on her hair that day, and the tiny mole under her nose that was about to move and flutter in the morning light...
For a moment, the vision became blurred. After all, Hua'er had no tears. Could that moment of trance really be an illusion caused by the memories of the previous life?
At that moment, I touched the pulse of life so truly and clearly. The chaotic life was torn open by a sudden light, and was instantly filled with honey-like happiness.
I don’t know how much of my shadow will be in her ignorant memory. The torrent of time will dilute her memory of yesterday. The thin haze will be easily washed away without leaving any trace. When she was a girl, during her journey of joy or sadness, would she inadvertently think of the epiphyllum of the past - I should have lost all my youth and passed away in the wind.
That is the only promise I have in this life.
Stay with her until she grows old.
Or maybe, that is not a promise. She will never know my heart - the secret hidden in the heart of a flower. It is like a wish I made to the air, but it has become a lingering part of my life. A hidden secret.
The ordinary days passed by like water. Many times, I thought that my leaves would grow mold due to time. The black hole of the years also pushed me to the edge of death step by step.
The flowers are lonely. Since I saw her, most of the time, loneliness no longer belongs to me. The loneliness caused by her has penetrated into my mind all the time, in the blind and boundless years. It is a faint blue tattoo that will last forever.
It can't be recovered either.
I will never forget the scene of being carefully carried out of the greenhouse by her. Her pupils were pitch black, like the moment when the mist first opened. Her black and white eyes were almost filled with autumn water waves.
She lives in an attic that has been in disrepair for a long time. Every time she moves, she hears the sound of "squeak---". There are restless molecules hidden in the silent air.
In the dusk sky, large swaths of rays of light were burning like fire. As a child, she was completely different from others. Her silence, quietness, and forbearance were very different from ordinary people. When she stood by the window sill for a long time, she would always attract a few pigeons to stop. "
"Pu Ling Leng -" flapped its wings and landed gracefully.
However, I know the richness of her heart. Her innocence and kindness are always displayed unconsciously between her faint smile and white lips and teeth.
When I see her, I feel a kind of warmth flowing rapidly through my body, and my veins relax happily.
And I am, after all, a weak and powerless flower. When the prosperity ends, I begin a life that is forgotten by her. One day, even the vague shadow of the flower will disappear.
I am so happy for her, I want to witness her youthful growth and transformation, and remember her stunning beauty after her dark transformation. I hate that the ruthlessness of the years has brought me into the miserable state of old age and dying.
How can the thought of being cruel to others leave an eternal mark in her life?
Bloom... bloom...
During those last days, there was nothing else in my mind except these two words.
In the middle of winter, which does not belong to me, the most beautiful and dazzling flowers bloom.
The Buddha said, forever and ever, you will no longer be a flower.
I nodded silently. Then I saw the rosary beads in the Buddha's neck. Where they came from and where they went back. I am just a rosary bead he left behind in the mortal world. It was transformed into a flower.
I would rather go back to the dead years and no longer expect the grace of reincarnation. As long as I can fill her green memory with the beauty of the last independence from the world. Every time I recall it, even if the old man passes away, there will still be something in my mind.
I am content with the slightest trace of my wandering.
And the Buddha promised me. The beauty that transcends the seasons, the beauty that transcends the world of mortals, must come with a price. They laugh at me for being stupid and crazy, but who can truly understand the happiness in it?
You can imagine her surprise at that time.
That cruel and extreme beauty will definitely hit her nerves hard.
In a world covered in silver makeup, in the bleak scenery of winter, witnessing a flower bloom that even spring cannot complete - a once-in-a-lifetime flower bloom will definitely leave an indelible trace in her memory.
And I couldn't witness her surprise at that time. Because of the pain, the hallucinations blinded the nerves...
However, I can still clearly feel a drop of warm liquid hitting the petals hard.
The flowering period is over. The soul suddenly disperses.