ps: The patch from the previous chapter...I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that I was so angry that

It is easy to feel guilty, but not to feel responsibility.

The concession of attitude, the release of fists, the softness of temperament, some apologies, some forgiveness, some relief, maybe as the character matures, it will become easier,

But at the beginning of growing up, how much courage and how many pains it takes to make these happen from scratch.

When he was nineteen years old, standing in front of the destiny roulette, Lin Qian once asked, is it necessary for people to grow up to be decayed? His three views were subverted and he was in pain.

Now, it was Tingxian's turn to ask, how many times do you want to touch my reverse scale? His temperament was distorted and he tried his best to resist.

They are all struggles.

The difference is that Lin Qian has already been calm and the wind is still in dire straits.

Say

From prison to camp, Yu Gu Tingxian only changed his imprisonment place, with a unkempt and unwilling face, continuing his sluggishness and confusion, and from time to time he was crying, most of the time he was dull, hushed, and listless.

But it is much better than Hong Hanshu. After all, it is still an individual and can communicate with the outside world. For example, the sentence Gu Tingxian is dead. The abnormality is probably decadent and fragile.

My body improved due to the careful care of Master and Siyu. "There is still hope that I can lift the knife", but my heart disease still requires medicinal treatment. Now that he is so depressed, it is obviously an inner hint that he gives up.

Gu Tingxian, you know clearly,

Admitting mistakes does not mean bowing, bending your knees, cowardly

Giving up on oneself means bowing your head, bowing your knees, and being cowardly.

It is also related to dignity and pride. Now you are willing to give up on yourself, but why didn't you want to admit your mistake at that time?

Just like some people, they are all related to courage. They dare not live anymore, but they are not afraid of even dying...

Say

Say

The reverse scales that I don’t want people to touch are scraped completely by myself.

Yes, it doesn't matter how bad your own self is.

I thought I could not be touched by others in this way, so naive.

If you don't get touched, you can touch it yourself.

Then he rolled around in pain.

If you don’t admit defeat, but you admit defeat, you will actually accept your fate.

I can't wake up completely. I can't sleep hard - because I still have a trace of consciousness, and I can't think that I'm really dead.

The whole thought was that except for the dead, the only one was Master, who was alive and dead together in Lingchi himself.

Countless scenes in the chaos, and the same path was returned to prison on the same day, repeatedly staged, constantly beating, "I would rather have no principles in the world to protect my own selfishness!"

Haha. OK, I really want to hear that a master who doesn’t know him has made such a wrong evaluation of himself. So I would rather say to him, go, lord. So I would rather see him, to me, just like you said, but it was because you said I became like this! So I should let him see the consequences of Gu Tingxian’s suicide fearing the sin and let him kill Gu Tingxian without knowing it and then regret it for life!

I don’t know when years or so. Suddenly, a cold blood flowed violently across his heart, and he felt pain. After realizing it, he finally returned to some normalcy...

How ridiculous, at this time, I actually felt a little enlightened. Is it too late? It's not appropriate

Say

You actually understand Gu Tingxian now. Master’s purpose is to take responsibility, and I want to help you learn to take responsibility

However, it just happened that it was necessary to improve your temperament, abbreviated as apology and admitting mistakes, shaking hands and making peace. That was the only thing he could not help you, but could only push you to do it.

You don't want to. You are arrogant and exhausted and want to deliberately rebel against him, so you don't want to. You completely want to make him mistakenly and then you willful and angry and go against everything in the opposite direction.

He was also furious, and he was so angry that he was not as stupid as Chen Zhao. Don’t blame him, he used your guilt to see how much you absorbed. As a result, not only did he not see the absorbed, but he might not blame him for being confused.

The master's wife advised him to give you this time, but he was afraid that you would become more and more sharp in your brother's footsteps. He said that he would never give up, although he would not want to hurt you than anyone else.

He insists on restoring the scene after you recover physically and mentally - admit your mistakes, improve your sense of responsibility, and bear what you should bear

Physical and mental recovery means being able to stand up independently, willing to come out to meet people, and there is joy and anger on your face, and you will no longer have no desire to be born

Actually, he's giving you another chance

Moreover, what he calls admitting mistakes can be just acknowledging the one you agree with, and it doesn’t even have to say that I’m wrong and the requirements are reduced to the minimum.

Last time, he actually had such low requirements, but he didn't tell you clearly that this time he promised his master's wife to learn from her mistakes, to pay attention to her own performance, and to speak out with a kind look straightforward.

But, would you like it?

Maybe you will do it again. You will not be so normal that you will be so angry that you will be so angry that your master will be so angry that he will not apologize as he wishes. You may choose to remain silent at most, and then be relatively speechless with Shen Zhao and Master...

In fact, the master calmed down and thought about this scene. He also expected this to happen, so he lowered the requirements so low, but even if it was low, it would still happen... Why is this happening?

Why? Because the scene cannot be restored, because when it happens again, you are normal, but what you said in abnormal situations have been spoken, because the established facts cannot be changed, and you are more sorry for your master than at that time. You misunderstood him and hurt him, and you have no shame to say anything you change!

Besides, will you say something you change your words? Changing your words means not only admitting your mistakes, but also rejecting the last time you didn't admit your mistakes. Last time you were so firm that you could reject it. Then, the same goes for countless incidents that you once proudly said no are mostly untrue? When your words become a joke, you will not excuse me for saying that you were not sober last time, then how can you change your words? Gu Tingxian, you won't even admit your mistakes, how can you change your words?!—This "know" refers not only to "possibility" but also to "ability".

Also, you are no longer the Gu Tingxian of that day. After the incident, you have lost all your face and have no desire to live. You are in a state of decline after the serious illness. You are in a state of indifference and you are in great difficulty... You see him looking forward to you so much, what qualifications do you have to make him look forward to you so much?

By then you will definitely be silent, but you will have thousands of words like a thorn in your throat, without qualifications, without shame, and without ability to say it! No sound can come out, and it will be blocked in your heart and lungs.

Maybe in the past you were too proud and didn’t want to admit your mistakes, but now you must be too inferior to admit your mistakes at that time. Pride and inferiority are separated by a thread, both are included.

The master knows you very much. He knows that if you help you up this time, you will avoid letting go after you are willing to fend for yourself, then you will never turn back from pride to inferiority. Your ability to admit your mistakes will become weaker and weaker until you don’t even have a scum. Correspondingly, this weakening will be compensated by the strengthening of stubbornness, and your stubbornness will become stubborn. At the same time, you may also regard evading responsibility as a habit, whether it becomes bad or mediocre. You will be ruined in your life.

So he not only won’t let this matter go to nothing, but he will also pick it up and continue. When admitting mistakes is not only related to the sense of responsibility of being a general but also to the flaws of being a human being. You must admit it this time. Loving you is harmful to you. It is better to have a short pain than long pain.

You know Master unprecedentedly and know that Master will not give up on you, so in addition to helping you up, he will definitely ask you to admit your mistake again. Even if he knows that it is more difficult for you to admit your mistake next time than last time. But as long as you admit your mistake, you will no longer be afraid of admitting or rejecting it. You will know how to admit it. He will fundamentally save you and let you learn this thing that most people know.

But you will be silent at that time. No matter how low he lowers his requirements, no matter how kind he is, no matter how hard he racks his brains to guide you, you may be in a mess until the end. You are very strange. You are not afraid of being afraid, but you are afraid of admitting your mistakes.

Master, he is a person who knows the difficulties and advances. He expects you to be silent, but he would rather have this happen and see you silent before trying to find a way to open your mouth. Instead of not doing this because you are afraid that you will be silent. It is precisely because of your possibility of silence that you will understand that as long as you don’t do this, you will fall into the abyss more and more silently.

However, you are no longer the energetic Gu Tingxian before. You are so unbearable that you can only retreat when you are so difficult.

Although you know that you owe too many people, you should not be responsible for your sins, but you can pay off your debts and atone for your sins. Even if you admit your mistakes, it will be useless because you don’t even know when you can lift the knife again. It’s uncontrollable, so you can only ignore it. There are countless people who want to pay their lives, so you can only close your eyes and stop counting.

Don’t you want to satisfy your master? Fortunately, he has such expectations for you, but you are just willing but have no courage. You think it’s too difficult for you to get out of this step now. You can’t do it. You really don’t dare to think about how you want to admit your mistake.

So you imply that you give up yourself—

Only by maintaining the status quo and degenerate can we avoid admitting our mistakes again after normal times, and we will not watch the Master be disappointed again!

Then why not give up on yourself.

He didn't dare to face the mistake, didn't want to see the master disappointed, and didn't want that scene to happen, so he simply didn't help him up.

At the beginning of his release from prison, he was just angry with his master. It was because his master didn't understand and wanted to commit suicide by giving up on himself. But now, he gave up on himself because he was afraid that his master would be disappointed and deliberately avoided him.

So when you can stand up, you don't stand up, and maintain a dying heart in your healthy body

Death is more terrifying than living. Some people would rather face it because it is easy to die but difficult to live.

Say

Gu Tingxian, why is it harder to admit mistakes than to die

Whether it is arrogant or inferior, it is fundamentally one reason

Or those things you think more than life, your scales

Can't scrape it all, because it is embedded in the soul

Yes, you still care

Saying that you don’t care is actually a miserable person.

But these days, you deliberately look ugly because of your inferiority complexion. You break more faces for yourself, and then you can only be more inferior.

The vicious cycle is stuck in a quagmire. The more you don’t stand, the less you don’t want to stand up, because your legs are really weak.

Say

Of course you don’t know that the master and his wife discussed it all night and thought hard, helping you solve most of the difficulties.

The master is worried that it may be difficult to get the result when you first recover from a serious illness. The smart teacher will strengthen you with great achievements.

Let you do practical things first, correct mistakes and recognize them; let you achieve some results when facing your master, not so down and less inferior, so that you can admit your mistakes happily and lightly, and help you overcome your inner obstacles;

Let you shake hands with Shen Zhao - the sense of responsibility required by the master is not just to shoulder the responsibility in front of you, but the most important thing is to face the sense of responsibility in the long run and face all comrades-in-arms. So coincidental, you are guilty of the Longshan Mountain in Shixiawan and Yuzhong. The first thing to test you is to face Chen Zhao... At the beginning, after the master's wife mentioned it, you really no longer divide Shixiawan and Longshan Mountain in Yuzhong. You try to treat Chen Zhao as your own person, but when it comes to Shixiawan's admitting mistakes, you still insist on the principle of admitting half, so you don't give in to Chen Zhao. You are actually not afraid of taking responsibility, you are afraid of admitting mistakes, because people live in one breath. Chen Zhao or something, you don't have much hostility to him at all.

Master’s wife understands you more. Knowing that it is easier to ask you to do than to say it. She knows that you are just afraid of admitting mistakes, not afraid of correcting mistakes. She believes that you are willing to make peace with Shen Zhao in your heart, and you have faced all your comrades. She told Master that when you have confidence, you can listen to any persuasion. Of course, this time, confidence cannot be achieved by the master’s verbal comfort and support.

The master praised her suggestions and said that he would help you stand up first.

However, after falling into a vicious cycle, you seem to be reluctant to stand up.

Have you ever thought about it? If you don’t stand up, you will still disappoint him?

Is it not that sad to see him disappointed when you fall?

But he is still hurting him. This is his first step to save you. It is not time to admit his mistake in the second step.

And you feel sad because you are pretending to be depraved.

It’s so ironic. When strength is gone, confidence is gone, and self-esteem that kills people is still there.

You once told yourself that you should stick to glory, dignity, and principles. So you proudly refuse to grow up,
To be continued...