When I went out, it was still dark, and Lu Yan didn't even know he was coming back.

When he came back from the hospital yesterday, he hadn't slept yet. There was a faint smell of cigarette smoke in the room. The window was obviously open, but the cold wind didn't completely dissipate the smell. When he saw me coming back, he put out the cigarette in his hand.

, I glanced at the ashtray, and there were already several cigarette butts.

He is also annoyed. Although I don’t understand a little bit.

I got up this morning and set the alarm clock but it didn't wake him up. It seemed that he was really sleepy. I washed myself carefully, changed my clothes and went out.

Aunt Chen and the others hadn't gotten up yet, so I found milk from the cupboard to warm it up, drank some briefly and drove out by myself. I thought my brother hadn't woken up yet, but who knew he was already awake and ready?

He was waiting for me in a wheelchair. When I opened the door and walked in, he was sitting by the window, looking at the still dark sky outside, in a daze.

He didn't respond when I walked in, until I walked up to him and called: "Brother, shall we leave now?"

Then he looked back at me: "Okay, let's go."

The medical staff helped. They carried him into the car and put the wheelchair in place. He sat in the passenger seat, making it easy to buckle his seat belt. I am now familiar with the road to the seaside, and it was still early.

Driving was smooth and no time was wasted on the road.

My brother looked at the scenery outside the side window. Although the grass and trees were withered in the cold winter, there was a different kind of beauty in the early morning in this season. There were already a few old people wearing sportswear coming out to exercise. When passing by the low mountains by the lake, the lake surface

A layer of hazy mist has risen, and at a glance, it looks like a landscape painting.

He suddenly said to me: "It's so beautiful. I've lived for so many years, but I haven't noticed how good our city A is. Today I realize that my life has been in vain."

"It's quite good. I was once taken by Lu Yanhui to climb a mountain in the early morning. I watched the sunrise on the mountain. At that time, I was sitting on the bench at the top of the mountain and looked down at the scenery. Everything was under the gradually changing sunlight.

It slowly became clearer and brighter inside. It was really not there. It's a pity that I forgot to take a photo with my phone, otherwise I could show it to you."

"Really? I've never seen it. I haven't climbed a mountain in a long time."

"What's so difficult about that?" I said while driving: "Next time you want to go, I can take you there at any time. It's all in City A, so it couldn't be more convenient."

He just smiled and said nothing. In fact, if I paid more attention to his expression at that time, I might be able to detect the loneliness on his face. He was already ready to leave this world at that time, so-called

Watching the sunrise, I later thought, could it be a form of saying goodbye to the world?

The sun rises in the east, just like life growing out of the mother's womb. Every morning seems to be a new beginning. What did he think of at that time? Where did he come from, where did he go back, no longer nostalgic for this beautiful world with beautiful scenery.

?

When the car drove to the beach, I was careful and brought a thick scarf to block the cold wind coming from the sea. It was inconvenient for him to get out of the car, so I opened the windows and doors and tied the scarf for him so that he could see clearly.

See the scenery on the sea.

I looked at the time and it should be almost ten minutes later. My brother looked at the sea and said to me: "When I am a hundred years from now, I really want my ashes to be scattered in the sea without leaving them behind.

The sea is good. I can go to many places in the world with the sea. I have gone to too few places in my life. In my memory, I only have every corner of City A. Although I am familiar with this city, I know nothing about the outside world.

Know."

I laughed at him: "How many years will it take? Maybe you will go to more places in the future and you will change your mind."

"No, I won't change my mind. Just throw it into the sea. Sangsang, you are younger than me. I will definitely leave one step earlier than you, so please remember this. And if I leave at that time

Now, you have to take care of yourself, don't be sad, and don't cry, it's a normal thing, people always die."

I stopped him: "Okay, okay, why are you so happy all morning, thinking about all these sad things in the future? Don't worry, I will not be sad if you pass away at that time. After birth, old age, illness and death, I will also be old when you get older."

There is nothing to be sad about when you are old."

"That's good." He looked over there, and suddenly his face became a little more excited. Then he pulled my sleeve and said, "Look, it's out."

Misty morning light. Sunrise on the sea.

The orange light slowly expands from the sea level, and the sea surface in the east is smudged with a faint layer of color. Then as the sun rises, the color gradually deepens and the scope becomes larger and larger. It is sparkling and quite spectacular.

I got out of the car and took my cell phone to take pictures. My brother was sitting in the car looking at the scenery. I turned around and said to him, "I'll take a picture for you too, as a souvenir."

He nodded and smiled at the camera. I walked over to show him, but his eyes were red, and I said, "What's wrong?"

"I'm thinking about my mother. I miss my mother a little bit." He rubbed his eyes: "I'm often sad these days, don't mind."

"I don't mind. Sometimes I think about my mother. She always looks young, sitting next to the old piano at home and playing the piano for us. She is so beautiful."

The sun had completely risen from the sea. My brother said to me, "Let's go. There won't be any sunrise after this."

"Why don't you stay a little longer and get some fresh air?"

"No, I'm tired."

I stopped talking and drove back. He asked me to go back to sleep: "You got up too early. Go back and have a good sleep. Come see me at night. Don't come during the day. I also want to rest. No one else should come."

."

"Okay, I understand. If you feel uncomfortable, just tell the doctor and they will call me at any time."

The nurse took him back to the ward, and I didn't think much about it.

There are many times in life when you don’t have time to think too much. Who knows when it will be goodbye? He waved to me to get in the car, and I really drove away. That was the last look of my brother, sitting in a wheelchair with a little something on his face.

Hu Za, wearing a thick black down jacket, had a little smile on his face.

I was woken up by Lu Yanhui. It seemed that I couldn't get enough sleep during this period. After I went back, I fell asleep again. Lu Yanhui originally went to the company to work, but he came back suddenly and eagerly gave me to me.

Pushing him awake: "He Sang, He Sang, wake up."

I opened my eyes in a daze and saw a heaviness on his face that I had never seen before. I said, "What's wrong?"

"Your brother committed suicide."

…

"What did you say?" I was unwilling to give in and asked again: "What did Lu Yan say back to you? I was a little confused just now and couldn't hear clearly."

"Your brother, when the medical staff were not paying attention, he hid a fruit knife next to him. After the nurse checked his body, he stabbed himself in the heart and covered himself with a quilt tightly, closing his eyes.

No one knew what he did to himself until someone discovered the blood all over the bed..."

I pushed him away and was about to leave before I even had time to put on my shoes. He pulled me back hard, pressed my shoulders to make me sit up, and put on my shoes. I let him help me put on my coat again, thinking in my head

Blank.

When we rushed to the hospital, the place was already crowded with people. Because the incident happened to a patient in the hospital, even the director was waiting for us at the door of the ward with an anxious look on his face. There were also several policemen. I didn’t know what to do anymore.

How can I continue? I just feel like I'm in a crowd. There are many people, many people surrounding me. The sound is obviously very noisy, but it's like I've made a circle around myself, so that these sounds are isolated, and I can hear everything.

not see.

Lu Yanhui was much calmer than me. He explained some matters calmly. I don’t know what they discussed specifically. I only know that when everyone left, he shook me and said, “He Sang, don’t be like this. You have

If you have anything to say, tell me and let me know. Don't refuse to say anything."

I shook my head: "Lu Yan, am I dreaming? You tell me this is a nightmare. My brother is not actually dead. I am not a thing who dreamed of such a scene. Please tell me."

No one answered.

When people are very sad, it is difficult to cry. Just like me now, my heart is obviously cramping, but my eyes are dry and I have not shed any tears. Lu Yanhui asked me to sit in a ward.

They refused to let me out and asked a caregiver to watch me. He said he would handle everything.

Later, when I was taken away by him, I said, "Where is my brother?"

"The forensic doctor is doing the autopsy. We are still waiting for the report. Don't go see him now."

"Where's my brother?"

"He Sang, please calm down, he is already dead."

"Where's my brother?"

"He Sang!"

After seeing the death certificate issued by the medical examiner and the hospital at the same time, and seeing my brother's name, I finally realized that it was all true. Lu Yanhui had indeed arranged everything and invited the funeral people to come. Now they are responsible for such things.

After everything was done with one hand, I looked at him lying in the coffin. He died of heavy bleeding. He was no longer the same as before. His whole body looked shriveled, like a withered leaf.

There is a custom in City A that after death, a person will not be cremated immediately, but will be shaved and put on makeup by the undertaker, but no matter what, he will not look as alive as before. If he stays in bed for two days, he will have no wife and children.

I am the only one who depends on each other for life, and there is nothing more regrettable than this.

In the past two days, guests have been coming and crying everywhere, but I have always felt unreal, as if I had become a wandering soul, with my feet never touching the ground, and separated from the real consciousness of my body.

When he was cremated, there was no memorial service in the strict sense, and not many people came. After he was released from prison, almost all of his former friends were gone. In addition, many people looked down on people who had been in prison, so he was lonely while living.

.

We got a little closer and said our final goodbyes to the corpse one by one. Only then did I really cry. The coffin was about to be pushed away, but I held on to the handle on the side and refused to let go.

Lu Yanhui pulled me away, but at this time someone came again. This person seemed familiar to me, and I thought about it carefully before I remembered who he was. His name was Huang Ting, and he was my brother's former friend and best friend.
Chapter completed!