Everyone in the world is negligent in everything they do, but there is only one thing that cannot be neglected when serving the royal family, but there are some who are negligent. It’s not that the person doing the work is worthless, nor is it the official’s job that lets the camel go privately. There are many banks.
The money was wrong, the hospital had the wrong baby, the computer was malfunctioning, all these small jobs were wrong. Could it be that the rough guys who care about pigs and sheep are not happy with some mistakes and distractions? Wrong, wrong, wrong! So what if it's wrong?
Since the time has passed so long, I can’t remember which dynasty or generation it was. Anyway, there is such a thing. It is a ridiculous thing and a rare thing. I will tell you for fun.
The boy Pan You'an, it is unknown where he lives. His mother died when he was five years old, and his father died when he was eight years old. He is really a miserable child. After that, he fooled around with relatives and neighbors for two years. When he was ten years old, the royal family came out to summon him.
The eunuch, relatives and neighbors are really unable to support him. I don’t know who came up with a bad idea. It’s better to send him to the royal family to work as an official official. Even though he is purified and looks like a man but not a man, he is still doing the same job. It’s not like this.
A bowl from the East and a meal from the West are several times more powerful. Everyone said it was good, and they immediately went to tear up the imperial list.
Xiao Pan was just a ten-year-old boy. He didn’t know what it meant to be clean, so he just thought he was a good errand. I heard he had food to eat, bright clothes, and the place was crowded and lively. He didn’t need anyone to persuade him, so he happily followed them.
After riding a donkey and riding a car, they bumped and bumped for several days, and finally arrived at a place. Xiao Pan opened his eyes and took a look: Ah! It has high walls, wide doors, magnificent houses, spacious places, and a lot of people and bustling people. It is really a good place.
After the accommodation was assigned, they were given a good meal and drink, and then someone was sent to give them a bath one by one. After washing, each person changed into a new set of clothes according to their size, height, weight, and thickness.
The little brothers and brothers who came with Xiao Pan were all in different situations. Some were one or two years older than him, some were one or two years younger, or they were the same age. In other conveniences, some had better family backgrounds than him, and some had better families than him.
Life is hard. When arriving at a place like this, some are overjoyed and some are crying. Xiao Pan naturally belongs to the happy group. He grew up eating thousands of meals and wearing hundreds of clothes. He didn’t beg for food because he was lucky. When he arrived
In such a good place, what does it look like when some people are not satisfied and cry?
The next morning, a man came who had an aunt who didn't look like an aunt and an uncle who didn't look like an uncle. Everyone called him Eunuch Yang. Xiao Pan only knew that there were rams and ewes in their village, and he was the first to call people "sheep, bull, male".
I heard back.
Eunuch Yang used his drake voice to teach a dozen of them. The first day of class was to carry a urinal. Xiao Pan had done this job before, and he often did it for the relatives and neighbors where he stayed, so he
He is the fastest learner, and he has been praised by Eunuch Yang more than once for this! There is no difference in learning to carry the urinal in class, just with different expressions and postures. Eunuch Yang said, firstly, you cannot frown, secondly, you cannot curl your lips, and thirdly,
You can't cover your nose. These are not difficult tasks, but don't think of urine as urine, think of it as a bowl of fragrant soup or something, and all problems will be solved. The second day is to learn to sweep the floor, the third day is to make the bed and fold the quilt.
Four days, five days... I have been learning for a full fifty days. The friends are tired of learning, and they are trying to change some new tricks every day.
The day for new tricks finally came. The uncle or aunt named Eunuch Yang stood in front of them, with a serious face, and he (she) said:
"Babys, after today, you will be real eunuchs. What is a eunuch? A eunuch is a man with no breasts and no beard. The eunuch's task is to serve the emperor and everyone around him. Do you hear that, little bastard?
Eggs?"
The little kid didn't know what was at stake, so not only did he not answer "yes", but Eunuch Yang's arrogance caused them to burst into childish laughter.
Unexpectedly, Eunuch Yang, who had always been kind, suddenly became furious. He (she) shouted sternly: "Why are you laughing? I am just an old eunuch. I had my vagina cut off when I was your age and I have been a eunuch for fifty years."
The eunuch."
Only then did everyone realize that Eunuch Yang was an old man without a penis.
"It's good to be a eunuch!" Eunuch Yang said, "It's a trivial matter to be popular and drink well, and silk and satin are nothing. The key is that from now on you will live the life of gods. Do you know what a god is, you little bastards?"
?Good times are waiting for you! You can taste the ups and downs in the future by yourselves!"
After Eunuch Yang said this, he didn't know whether he touched a painful spot or an itchy spot, but he let out a series of weird squeaking sounds that didn't sound like crying or laughing.
After Eunuch Yang finished his training, it was time for the little kids to play the game of cutting the penis. Naturally, there were thousands of people with different looks and different attitudes. A bunch of little kids who didn’t understand anything kept pestering Eunuch Yang to ask about how to cut the penis.
Does the penis hurt? Eunuch Yang said it doesn’t hurt. It only scratches the skin a little and it will be fine after a while. The little guys are still worried. Some are worried, some are smiling playfully, some are concerned, some are indifferent, and some are embarrassed.
Some were crying with their mouths open, and some were smiling with their mouths open. When they were carried out, they all looked the same, with a white cloth covering their heads, a black cloth covering their faces, and a small quilt covering their bodies. If they hadn't seen their stomachs occasionally
One after another, I thought they were all little dead people.
When Pan Youan went in, Eunuch Yang also followed him in. He looked up and saw four or five big men, all holding knives and forks in their hands, looking at him fiercely. When he was scared, he turned around and wanted to run out, but was caught.
One of the men snatched it up from his neck, picked it up like a hawk catching a chicken, and pushed him down on the bed. At first, he danced with his arms and legs, and cried at the top of his lungs. After a while, he was unconscious.
.
When Pan Youan woke up, the kind Eunuch Yang was sitting next to him. Eunuch Yang turned his face and told him seriously:
"Kid, remember, from today on, you can't pee standing up, let alone where there are people. Otherwise, your life will be lost, and my old life will be lost. No one can tell you that you have it.
*Did you hear about *?"
Although Xiao Pan didn't quite understand what his father-in-law meant, seeing that he was serious about what he said and that his life was at stake, he nodded vigorously even though he felt a little nervous.
Eunuch Yang told many more things to pay attention to, and Xiao Pan memorized everything he could. As soon as the old eunuch went out, Pan Youan impatiently touched his body: It's strange, his penis is still there?