"The winner of the Worst Director Award is...Shao Shuaijun! From "The Night Watcher", first of all, congratulations to Shao Shuaijun. He became the youngest director to win the Worst Director Award in the history of our Golden Raspberry Awards. Shao, you get the Worst Director Award"
Director, we don’t struggle. What we struggle with is that we shouldn’t be called ‘Night Watchman’, but should be called ‘Night Watchman’. Night Watchman sounds inferior just by the name, don’t you think?”
Amid everyone's applause, Shao Shuaijun walked onto the stage with an unlucky look. Snap, the lights in the cinema went out, leaving only a flashlight shining on Shao Shuaijun's face.
"Wow, the night watcher appears, everyone applauds!"
Amid applause, Shao Shuaijun accepted the shabby Golden Raspberry trophy from two comedians. Looking from left to right, it looked like a used film box. The raspberries on it seemed to be shaking and about to fall off.
Moreover, this trophy is different from ordinary trophies. It is very small. It is so small that if the camera is not aligned, you will not know that you are still holding the trophy.
The flashlight was very dazzling, so Shao Shuaijun glared: "I'm not a night watcher, and I don't go out at night. Please turn on the light. Otherwise, do you believe that I will immediately throw this broken box on the ground and crush it?"
The lights were turned on, and Shao Shuaijun nodded with satisfaction.
"Someone just said it was called Night Watch. I plan to call it Night Watch in the sequel."
"Nighthawks is so bad, will there be a sequel?" someone shouted in the audience.
Shao Shuaijun raised his eyelids: "No matter how bad it is, it can't be worse than "Double Suspect", which won five awards. Also, remember to close the doors and windows at night and cover the mirror with a cloth, otherwise you will be waiting for Gyllenhaal
Let’s chat with you. Okay, let’s stop talking nonsense. To be honest, in my four-year directing career, I have directed seven works, five of which were released in the United States. However, I have not won a formal director award. In China,
In the United States, in Cannes, in Berlin, and in Venice, they didn't even give me a nomination. I never expected that the first international award for directing in my life would be a Golden Raspberry Award. Look, how much does this broken box cost?
It’s made. Five dollars is enough to buy a dozen. No wonder no celebrities are willing to participate. You can’t even make up for the fare of one trip, so you’ll lose money every time you come!”
"Haha." The audience burst into laughter.
Shao Shuaijun continued to talk nonsense: "Although it is a shabby broken box, I still want to say my acceptance speech, ahem. First of all, I am very grateful to the judges for awarding this award to me. I am excited, shocked, scared, uneasy, and,
I have a deep urge to roar. Do you think so little of "The Nighthawks"? Okay, I brought gifts to every judge today."
With that said, Shao Shuaijun shouted to the assistant Wang Cuicui in the audience: "Let the workers move the goods, and give one piece to each person. No one can be left behind."
While everyone was confused, the workers who had been waiting opened the cargo box of the truck, took out the stacks of DVDs of "The Night Watcher", then rushed into the cinema and scattered them one by one.
Shao Shuaijun laughed loudly from above: "Previously during the nomination, you said that "The Night Watcher" was a bad movie, so bad that no one watched it. Well, I know there are 700 viewers sitting in the audience today, you
Half of them are judges. You said that no one has watched it. You must have never seen it. You dare to conclude that "The Nighthawks" is not good without watching it. Wow, you have ruined my career as a director. I mean almost.
"
There were constant screams, applause and cheers from below.
Shao Shuaijun continued: "So, I brought a gift to you all, a DVD of "The Nighthawks" for each of you. Oh, there are also a few hardcover versions in it, and a DVD with Gyllen Hill's signed poster. Those are Easter eggs.
.You must watch it carefully when you go back. Don’t just say it’s a bad movie without even watching it. If you finish watching it, especially those who got the Easter eggs, and feel that the movie is not bad after watching it, I will come here again.
Return this broken box to you!"
Wow.
"Ha ha."
There was laughter in the cinema.
Shao Shuaijun was about to step down when he suddenly remembered something: "I was a little surprised. I watched Halle Berry's acceptance speech for a long time at home. I really wish I could be so sincere and excited. But, you saw, I
There is no other way, I gave away all the DVDs, please don’t come to me again in the future, I will continue my career as a director!”
"Finally, Thank-you-very-much!"
Amidst the applause, Shao Shuaijun said the last sentence in an exaggerated and ironic tone, holding the Worst Director Award, and walked back to the stage with an embarrassed face. There will be an award for the Best Picture later, and he will most likely go on stage to walk around again.
However, after Shao Shuaijun, it was the turn of "Double Suspect" to appear.
"The winner for Worst Actress is...Lindsay Lohan, from "Boss," which is unbelievable. This is the sixth award. But I want to say that we are losing money by giving them so many awards."
Shao only took one item and gave us a carload of DVDs. What did Chris give us? What did Lindsay give us? A boring movie or a crazy movie?"
"The ones who won the worst on-screen partnership are...Lindsay Lohan and Lindsay Lohan, from "Boss", the seventh award, really crazy momentum of winning awards. Oh, by the way, did you listen?
Wrong, did I just say two Lindsay Lohans or one? This question is full of unknowns. Even our judges watched the movie to the end and didn't figure out whether Lindsay Lohan played one person or two people.
, or a pair of twins? Maybe we are just as crazy as the director and screenwriter of this movie?"
"The winner for Worst Supporting Actor is...Eddie Murphy, from "Norbit"..."
"The winner for Worst Supporting Actress is...Eddie Murphy, from "Norbit"..."
"The winner of Worst Actor is...Eddie Murphy, from "Norbit"..."
"Wow, this is crazier than Lindsay Lohan. Do you know why the names of the three awards are the same? Obviously, the judges can't get it wrong. You have to ask Eddie about this.
.Murphy, why does he appear in the leading actor, supporting actor and supporting actress? Maybe this is his style, sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes neither male nor female..."
"OK, happy times are always short-lived. It's time for the last award tonight. First, let's ask Shao, what is your mood now?"
The camera turned around and Shao Shuaijun looked at his watch pretending to be impatient: "I'm wondering how long I'm going to have to listen to your nonsense..."
"It seems that Shao can't wait to win the award."
"Well, the climax at the end, the one who got the worst picture is..."
Shao Shuaijun secretly prayed that he had already won the Worst Director, so don't win the Worst Picture again. Otherwise, today would be a completely tragic day.
The award presenter paused for a while, and then shouted: "Congratulations to Chris Shiversant for "Double Man." He won an unprecedented eight awards. He is the biggest winner of the Golden Raspberry Awards tonight! Haha, Shao, are you disappointed that you didn't win the award?"
Shao Shuaijun also laughed: "I want to say that I am very sorry that "The Nighthawks" did not win this award. But I don't feel jealous at all. Really, I sincerely congratulate Chris Shiversent. Director, he deserves to be the focus tonight, congratulations!" (To be continued. Please search Piaotian Literature, the novel will be better and updated faster!)