I wanted to refute what he said, but when the words came to my lips, I didn't know how to refute him.
In my subconscious mind, I actually felt that what he said seemed to be right.
What's wrong with dying alone?
Alone, without any thoughts, the word death sounds more like relief.
But I'm still a little confused.
In other words, when I thought what he said was right, I had some doubts.
Why must a person think of the word death?
"Looking at you, you don't want to die, right?"
Suddenly, he looked at me with a smile.
I hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
"In no mood."
"But have you ever felt?" He looked at the people coming and going in front of him, "We are hated by them even here. Even if we walk a few more steps and go to more places, they will hate me."
"We are in a world without any meaning."
"They may even think we are dirty and disgusting."
"What's the point of living in a day like this?"
"You think so?"
He looked at me.
Then he suddenly stood up and hit the wall beside him.
His decisiveness caught me off guard.
I didn't even have time to stop him, so I just watched him fall in a pool of blood, and watched his body gradually become silent after twitching for a while.
The next moment, the surrounding crowd began to panic.
I don't know who shouted "death", and people began to gather around me. They pointed at me, as if they thought I was the one who killed the person. I wanted to explain, but they didn't give me a chance at all.
I suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness that almost drove me crazy.
I rushed out of the crowd like crazy and ran forward. I didn't know how long I ran. I didn't stop until I couldn't run anymore.
I looked around. I seemed to have left that city. Finally there was no one around except me. I never thought about returning to that city.
I don't know if it's because I'm afraid or because I don't like the feeling of being disgusted, but I just don't want to go back.
This feeling even made me forget. I seemed to have forgotten who I was and why I was here.
I started walking forward aimlessly until I reached a mountain. I walked in and saw a river. The river was strange and black.
When I got close to it, I felt like something was calling me from the river.
That call gave me a strange feeling, making me feel as if I should be inside.
I wanted to jump into the river, but when I got to the river I was afraid.
I'm afraid of death.
Looking at the black river water, I didn't have the courage to walk down. I just stood by the river and hesitated. I don't know how long it took, and it got dark. I suddenly saw a bridge, and there seemed to be a person in front of the bridge.
When I saw her, I subconsciously wanted to leave.
I'm afraid of being rejected and disliked again.
But when I was about to leave, it seemed like a force was attracting me, making me walk towards the bridge uncontrollably.
Soon I came to that person.
It's an old woman.
She stood at the end of the bridge and looked at me with a smile.
"You're here."
she said.
I looked at her and subconsciously asked: "Where is this?"
"Naihe." She pointed to a monument next to the bridge. I looked over and saw two words engraved on the monument, "Naihe."
But I still didn't know where this place was, but she just pointed to the bridge and said, "Go over there and you'll know where this place is."
"Would you like to walk over there?" I looked towards the bridge.
Looking at the end of the bridge, there was darkness at the end. I couldn't see what was beyond the darkness. I couldn't even determine how long the bridge was.
I shook my head.
"I'm not going."
I said and wanted to leave, but she called me again.
"Are you really not going?"
"Do you think the way you are now is what you want?"
She suddenly appeared in front of me and blocked my way.
"The old madman who raised you is dead."
"The beggar you met once is dead."
"But you are still alive alone."
"They are all dead, why do you want to live?"
"Wouldn't it be a relief for you to die?"
"I don't want to die!" I said subconsciously.
"No, you don't want to die, you are afraid of death!" She shook her head, then pointed to the bridge and said, "So you don't have to die."
"If you walk over, they won't come back to life, and you won't have to die by then."
"Will they come back to life?" I looked at the bridge blankly.
"right!"
"They will come back to life!" She said with certainty: "As long as you walk over, they will come to life. You will no longer be alone, and you will no longer be hated."
"So, you have to walk over."
"You have to walk over."
"I want to walk over, I have to walk over?" I was a little confused, but before I knew it, I had already arrived in front of the bridge. Not only that, this time I actually saw two figures on the bridge.
Old madman.
And that beggar.
Especially the moment I saw the old madman, I just felt my nose was sore.
"Old madman!"
I shouted and walked towards the bridge. However, the moment I stepped on the bridge, I suddenly felt like falling into an ice cave. The biting cold made me wake up immediately.
But in front of me, the old madman and the beggar were no longer there.
Some are just pitch black.
But by this time I was already on the bridge.
I also thought about it again.
Birth, old age, illness and death.
I experienced a new life.
I originally thought that death was referring to the death of an old madman.
It doesn't seem to be the case now.
This death is not the death of that beggar.
But my death.
I tried to mobilize the power that belonged to me, but I couldn't do it. I didn't seem to have any power to resist here. Maybe it was also for this reason that my memory would continue to change in forgetfulness and awakening.
After understanding this, I stopped struggling and focused on the Naihe Bridge beside me.
This bridge may not be the real Naihe Bridge.
But here, if I go on, I may actually experience death.
This may be one of the four forces of birth, old age, illness and death mentioned by Lord Taishan.
He still wants to kill me.
I didn't rush to move, but started thinking.
Looking at the current situation, Mr. Taishan wanted me to die, so he used tricks to get me here. He was sure that I was afraid of death, so maybe he also thought that I would struggle.
That's why there was that beggar.
Use that beggar to influence me.
Let me live and die.
But am I really afraid of death?
I'm afraid!
but……
If I really die.
I will also accept it calmly.
I set my sights on the other end of the bridge and walked over.
If you walk over there, you will really die.
Maybe it's also a relief for me.
(I didn’t get home until after nine o’clock after working overtime. I tried my best. Good night)