After dinner, the two of them planned to take a walk along the street to eat, but as soon as they went out, they met an acquaintance - the naughty kid who had just been rolling around in the fast food restaurant.
The old woman was not here at the moment, and he was squatting alone in the corridor playing with a small excavator.
Shi Nian glanced twice, the pupils of his eyes were flickering, and the smile on the corner of his mouth had a sinister flavor.
Ji met the petition and reminded her: "According to Chinese law, child trafficking and child abuse are illegal and criminal acts. Ms. Shi, please exercise restraint."
Shi Nian looked at him angrily: "What are you thinking about? I am a good young man who abides by the law and there is no way I would do such a thing!"
"and you……?"
Shi Nian brushed the curly hair on the side of his face and said, "I'll praise him."
After that, he walked towards the boy with a smile.
That state of claws and teeth is very much like the wolf grandmother wrapped in a red scarf.
As soon as the naughty kid raised his head and saw her, he grabbed the excavator and ran away, but she grabbed him back with quick eyes and hands.
"Kid, don't run away, come here, let your sister praise you."
Praise him?
The naughty kid was stunned, and turned around stupidly and asked:
"Why do you praise me?"
"Because you spilled my sister's ice cream."
"ah?"
"If the old one is knocked over, can't we buy a new one? Because you were here, my sister ate two ice creams by herself. Do you think I should praise her?"
The naughty kid blinked and looked at the small excavator with a wheel missing from his hand, thoughtfully.
"Kid, I wish you a complete childhood."
Shi Nian rubbed his head and offered his sincere blessings.
After watching her series of sexy moves, Ji Yu's soul was shocked:
"You are so skilled in committing crimes, you have done this kind of thing a lot, right?"
Shi Nian smiled innocently: "I once had a naughty child in my family who was lawless and unreasonable. As a sister, I will definitely shoulder the responsibility of educating him without hesitation."
Ji Yu showed a true expression and joked:
"So what's your record?"
"It's just so so. It only destroyed two of Ms. Zheng's vegetable plots, blew up the toilet three times, burned down the kitchen four times, and broke countless bowls."
When I think about it, I hold my little hand behind my back, hiding my merit and fame:
"The last time I bombed the toilet, he finally got beaten. But I didn't escape either. I got beaten even worse than him."
Ji Yu frowned, with a worried look on his face, "Have you been found guilty of instigating a naughty kid to commit a crime?"
"No, because Ms. Zheng happened to be using the toilet when the naughty kid threw the steel cannon into the latrine in her hometown. The feces and water splashed up and exploded all over her. I laughed too loudly next to me... so I was beaten."
After so many years, Shi Nian still couldn't help but laugh wildly when he thought of someone rushing out of the toilet covered in shit:
"Perhaps you should have heard of a word: pooping until it rains on your head and still messing with your poop. That is a perfect portrayal of her."
[Hahahaha...I laughed so hard that my mouth cramped and I couldn't stop.]
[No wonder the big female monkey’s mental state is so explosive. It turns out that she was raised from a young age. It’s disrespectful.]
[No one is curious about who Ms. Zheng is? It feels like the big female monkey has a big grudge against her. 】
[Curiosity 1, and I have a hunch... the big female monkey's childhood seems not to be happy. 】
[Impossible, absolutely impossible! Sister Nian must be the happiest cub in the world!]
Ji Yu accompanies her and laughs on the street. From Ms. Zheng's shit-like smile to Shi Yuanshan's smoky smile, it fully explains a truth: the more painful the enemy is, the happier they are.
The two of them wandered along like this, and accidentally wandered near the Civil Affairs Bureau.
In the small civil affairs bureau, a large group of young couples receiving certificates lined up from the courtyard to the streets.
Shi Nian glanced at it from a distance and was deeply shocked:
"No, what day is it today?"
Ji Yu looked around for a while, and finally spotted the large pink billboard standing at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau:
The 3rd Certification Conference of xx City
Do you love me? If you love me, bring her to get the certificate.
One certificate, for a lifetime.
Shi Nian: "You're already here, why don't you go and have a look?"
Ji Yu: “Do I need to bring my household registration book?”
Ha, man, what you think is quite beautiful.
Shi Nian raised his fist at him and said, "You're thinking shit."
When the two entered the Civil Affairs Bureau, what greeted them was not a loving newlywed couple, but a middle-aged couple who were divorcing.
The staff of the Civil Affairs Bureau negotiated with them while sweating profusely:
"Sir, madam, I'm sorry, we really can't get a divorce today."
"Why?" the short-haired woman asked her: "The public account has pushed the news that the Civil Affairs Bureau is working overtime today, and you didn't say you would only work overtime for marriages, not divorces!"
The reason was very good and the staff was speechless. After asking for instructions from the leader, they reluctantly agreed to her application. After registering the basic information and asking about the reason for the divorce, the situation began to develop in an uncontrollable direction.
Shi Nian guessed the reason was: domestic violence.
Because the lady looked very painful and didn't want to stay with her for a second; the man's face was full of impatience, somewhat speechless and forbearing.
But the real reason is...
Men love pooping so much.
The lady with short hair wiped her tears and cried:
"When I go to the toilet, he urges me to hurry up and he can't hold it in anymore; when I take a shower, he insists on pushing in to poop; when I rush to wash up and go to work in the morning, he still poops!
I'm really fed up with this kind of shit that can only be done half way! What's the difference between marrying such a man and marrying a piece of shit?
Divorce, must divorce!"
The man spread his hands and sighed:
"Can't you understand? I didn't mean it. There are some things that I can't hold back. I really can't hold them back!"
After listening to the two people's accounts, the staff asked cautiously:
"Perhaps you two can get a house with two bathrooms?"
This time it was their turn to sigh at the same time:
"Although, it doesn't cost money to change the house?"
Staff: "...just pretend I didn't ask."
As soon as the couple finished the formalities, another quarrel came from another window.
Shi Nian raised his ears and listened carefully. The couple who were arguing were more explosive than the couple just now.
The reason for their divorce was that every time the two parties turned against each other, the man would transfer 10,000 yuan to the woman.
In this regard, the man's explanation is that doing so can extend his own pleasure and increase the couple's interest.
However, the woman felt that her character had been insulted and filed for divorce after unsuccessful communication.
The two had a huge quarrel at the Civil Affairs Bureau and almost got into a fight. In the end, they were both escorted out by security guards.
Shi Nian, who was watching the whole process, was in a state of confusion. He kept thinking:
"Ah? Ah?? Ah???"
I thought she was already perverted enough, but I didn't expect someone to be more perverted than her.
I am deeply worried about the mental state of contemporary people.
After leaving the Civil Affairs Bureau, Shi Nian patted Ji Yu on the shoulder with mixed emotions and asked:
"May I ask this dear friend, what do you think?"
Ji Yu: "I'm very happy."
"Where to begin?"
"I'm glad I have a healthy digestive system, I'm glad I can afford a house with two bathrooms, and I'm even more fortunate that I don't have any special hobbies."