Both of my knees were knocked to the ground. The fabric I was wearing was very thin and uncomfortable. When I rolled up my clothes, I saw that the skin was all bruised and bleeding.
At one or two o'clock in the morning, the city was still brightly lit, but the crowds and vehicles were almost gone.
I was sitting there, really not knowing what I had just experienced?
Why did he and I end up like this? It seems that I am no longer the only one for him? It seems that I can never have him again?
I seem to be really lost, lost forever.
I thought he could come back sooner or later. If it doesn't work in one year, then two years. If it doesn't work in two years, then three years. Even if it's thirty years?
I thought that even if he got married and had children, he could still come back. I thought that even if he couldn't be my lover, he could still be my uncle?
I thought that when time smoothed away the pain, on a certain day of a certain year, he and I could still walk around under the same roof and eat at the same dining table.
"Wan Ning?" I don't know how long it took, but a car stopped on the roadside. Han Yichen opened the door and got out of the car, asking: "What's going on? Why are you sitting here at night?"
"
"What's wrong with your knee?"
He stepped down to look at me, and I didn’t know what was wrong. I immediately hugged him and said, "I'm sorry, Han Yichen, let's get remarried! Let's get remarried! I'm sorry..."
I couldn't wait to get myself out of this pain and tried to erase this in the shortest possible time.
Han Yichen packed me into the car and took me to the hospital. There was sand on the sidewalk, and many small sands had penetrated into my flesh. I had to use anti-inflammatory water to wake me up, and the nurse made me very painful.
Han Yichen said: "I'll do it!"
He took a cotton ball dipped in anti-inflammatory water and helped me clean up the little sand inside little by little. I didn’t know if it hurt or what was wrong? Tears fell down.
"What happened?"
To be honest, I don’t even know what happened. It’s like someone stabbed me in the face. It makes me terribly uncomfortable.
"pain……"
My knee twitched, and the anti-inflammatory water flowed into the bloody area. A certain chemical reaction occurred, and I felt burning pain.
"Is it because of Rong Bai?"
He guessed it, he guessed it all at once.
"He asked me to remarry you... I'm sorry, Han Yichen, I feel so uncomfortable."
"He called me and said you ran away from home."
I looked up at him and my tears fell even more.
Han Yichen wiped away my tears and said, "Were you so sad when I didn't want you?"
I looked at him with blurred eyes, not knowing how to answer at all?
"Do you really still want me? I'm already like this? I'm not a good mother, I'm not a good wife, I may not be a good woman anymore."
"I know he is very important to you, he has always been important to you..."
I asked Han Yichen: "Why am I always like this? Is there something wrong with me? Why am I always like this?"
Why does my love always end like this?
"It's okay for you. It's my problem and Rong Bai's problem. Don't think about it so much. Many problems are not what you should think about.
Just pretend that Rong Bai really died a few years ago, just pretend that none of this happened, just pretend that this was just a dream."
How could I regard it as a dream when something so real happened?
Those things that have happened in the past are like irons in my heart. How can I regard it as a dream?
I said, "A nightmare."
Regarding the remarriage, I have always said "I'm sorry" to Han Yichen.
Because I felt so uncomfortable at the moment, I said such words to him out of nowhere when I saw him, and I felt very bad about myself.
Han Yichen asked: "Why do you keep apologizing to me?"
"You know, I didn't plan to remarry, otherwise I wouldn't have waited until now. If I came back because of Rong Bai, because he asked me to remarry you, I would remarry you. It would be unfair to you."
"I said, if you don't have a better choice, you choose me."
He carefully wiped my wound, and I asked strangely: "Han Yichen, why are you so nice to me now?"
"You were so kind to me before!"
I shook my head and said: "I don't, I haven't been so nice to you, I just want you, I just want you to love me, just to satisfy myself.
I can't give you anything now. You should find your own happiness and stop wasting time on me. I, I will never love anyone again, never again."
I was so emotional that I wanted to leave him for no reason?
I feel like I have lost the ability to be happy and am not worthy of happiness, let alone the ability to bring happiness to others.
Han Yichen was worried about the wound on my knee. He grabbed my hand that pushed him and said, "Xia Wanning, there is no need to talk about this between us. You can't love others, and I can't love others. Isn't this better?"
Stop telling me to find my own happiness. If happiness could be found, we wouldn't be like this. I understand how you feel at this time.
I seem to have seen myself in the past, but I am a man and cannot shed tears like you. There does not have to be love in marriage. Many men and women have lived their lives like this.
I can do it with you, Rong Bai and Meng Ziqi can do it too, why do you have to put so much burden on yourself?"
Yes, not every wedding is the destination of love, and not every couple in love can enter the palace of marriage.
"Even if it's a business marriage, I don't have the capital anymore. You can still find a better woman. As you said, Tang Ye can do it, and so can you. I'm no longer the Xia Wanning I used to be. I'm not that good now.
That’s a lot of money.”
I should have been richer than Han Yichen in the past, but now I am afraid that I am not even one-tenth as rich as him. If something happens to the Tang family again, I won't be able to help at all?