He had to admit that the conversation he had with the tiger during the day still had an impact on him, and the violent and restless elements in his character were eager to take action.
For a long time after leaving Fang's old house, his character was very dark.
He also realized that something was wrong with him, so he spent most of his time in the company and spent most of his energy on endless work.
That did achieve some results. At least when he was busy, he felt that his mood was stable and he would not go crazy.
The dark side of his heart didn't control him, but once he had some free time, he couldn't help but think about it.
How do you want to take revenge on Fang Zhengting and the others?
Later, when Song Nan and the others were around, I felt something was wrong with me.
I accompanied him to see a psychiatrist and had a careful examination.
Fang Yin didn't know if this was useful or not.
But after that time, he followed the advice of his psychiatrist and went to the boxing gym whenever he had such negative emotions in his heart.
Most of his strength was also vented on it, which was indeed somewhat useful.
Later, there were sandbags in the villa where he usually lived.
As I grew older, this emotion became less and less frequent.
But recently, everything has been piled up together, and that feeling of being out of control has come back.
He was worried, worried that he could not protect Shen Yan, and worried that Ogura would do harm to Shen Yan while he was slacking off.
He was most afraid that even if he was by Shen Yan's side, he still wouldn't be able to protect her, and the promise he made to Shen Yan at that time would become empty words.
When people from the special department took Xiaocang away last time, even though Fang Yin had made preparations in advance for Shen Yan to stay in the lounge and not come out, he still let Shen Yan show up in front of Xiaocang before he was taken away.
.
This is the thing he regrets most.
If he had known that this would happen, he would never have taken Shen Yan out that day.
But now, it’s useless to talk about it anymore.
There was nothing he could do for a long time. All he could do was to protect Shen Yan in all aspects and not let Xiaocang take advantage of the loophole.
He thought of Bai Yuqing again. If she hadn't told him this time, he really wouldn't have known that Ogura had escaped from the special place.
Speaking of which, he wanted to thank her properly.
But it certainly won't be this time.
Fang Yin thought about it again. She didn't know what kind of work she was doing recently, but she could actually find out such news.
What's special is that he was able to contact those people's bosses only after he found the information. Unexpectedly, Bai Yuqing actually heard it from his customers.
I don't know what kind of job she does.
But just wait until the baby is born, and then thank Shen Yan properly.
The two of them can't even be the most ordinary friends now, which was something Fang Yin could not have imagined many years ago.
That's it now.
After Fang Yin stood up, Shen Yan opened his eyes.
She had just mentioned this matter to Fang Yin during the day. She thought he would be able to sleep well tonight, but she didn't expect that he would get up again after she fell asleep.
Looking at Fang Yin's back, Shen Yan felt very distressed. She also knew that all this was because of herself and the child in her belly.
But how can we make him feel a little more at ease?
The weather is not that cold now, but it is still a bit cool in the early morning. Fang Yin stood there for about half an hour.
It seemed that he still had no intention of coming back, so Shen Yan had no choice but to get up.
Fang Yin heard the movement and turned around, "Why are you awake?"
He hurriedly walked a few steps and ran to Shen Yan, gathering her clothes up for her.
"Did I wake you up just now?"
Shen Yan shook his head and touched his cold hand.
"If you can't sleep, can I just talk to you? Anyway, I'm awake now."
Meeting Shen Yan's gaze, Fang Yin could only nod.
He knew that once her character decided something, it could not be changed easily.
The two people simply got up, poured hot water and sat on the small sofa, huddled together and started talking.
"Did you not sleep at all?"
Fang Yin asked Shen Yan that he had been thinking about something in his mind tonight, so he ignored Shen Yan, otherwise he would have been able to tell whether Shen Yan was asleep or not.
Shen Yan nodded as expected.
"I thought that after talking to you during the day, you would feel better tonight, but I didn't expect that you wouldn't be ready to sleep after midnight.
What are you thinking about? Why can't you sleep?"
Fang Yin was struggling in his heart. He didn't know whether he should tell Shen Yan.
What if Shen Yan can't accept it?
But he had long decided that Shen Yan was his lover in this life.
If his closest lover cannot accept it, who else in the world can accept him?
"If the me you know so far is not the complete me, and the real me is hard for you to accept, what will you do?"
Shen Yan opened her eyes slightly, she probably knew what Fang Yin would say next.
It's just that for her, every time she gets to know Fang Yin better, she loves him more.
She was never afraid that she would not be able to accept the real Fang Yin. She was only afraid that she would not be able to understand Fang Yin better.
"Do you think that after we have been together for so long, you understand me as a complete me?"
Fang Yin naturally knew what Shen Yan meant by asking this, and he was a little anxious, "We are different, you are so kind, even if you are not complete, you and I will be different.
But I am different. I have been fighting in the mall for so long and have many things...
Maybe the things you find unacceptable are, in my opinion... very common things, can you understand?"
What Fang Yin said was a little confusing. He was really anxious.
But Shen Yan, who was sitting next to him, still looked at him so tenderly, and gradually his emotions calmed down.
"What's the difference? The day I choose to fall in love with you, I decide to fall in love with all of you.
No, this is not my decision, this is fate.
So, Fang Yin, don’t be afraid.
You have to tell me, and then I will understand you better.
Didn't we already agree that we would have no secrets from each other?
How can I watch you suffer now and I do nothing?"
Fang Yin opened his mouth and said, "I'm not suffering. You don't know what I will say next. You will definitely be frightened."
He was still subconsciously denying his emotions.
Shen Yan frowned slightly, she knew that the things that happened to him in the past had a great impact on him.
But I didn't expect that even after being away from the Fang family for so long, Fang Yin still had some wounds that could not be healed.
“Why define the outcome without even saying it?
Don't you believe me?
Do you not believe me as a person, or do you not believe my love for you?"
Shen Yan's words had already raised their conversation tonight to a higher level, and Fang Yin naturally denied it.
"Of course I believe you, Yanyan.
You know, I have always been grateful for your coming. Meeting you is the luckiest thing in my life.
But Yanyan, I'm not as perfect as you think.
I am just a very ordinary man, and maybe after telling you what follows, you will think that I am not even ordinary, I am a very bad person."
After saying this, Fang Yin lowered his head with some dejection.
Shen Yan couldn't stand his expression the most. She turned slightly to the side, lifted Fang Yin's chin, and asked him to look into her eyes.
"Look at me, Fang Yin.
Do you remember how we first met?
Wasn't it because I was stalking you in the beginning that I developed like this?
If I had the same mentality as you, would it be possible for the two of us to sit together and talk today?"
Fang Yin shook his head.
Although after falling in love with Shen Yan, he realized how brave Shen Yan was.
But as he got along with her, he felt that this person was not only brave but also sincere.
If he was the one who fell in love with Shen Yan first, he might not have the courage to stay by her side.
And he didn't have such a good attitude in the beginning.
"Then why are you still unwilling to have the courage for our relationship now that we both love each other?
Besides fear of losing, what else are you afraid of now?
Even if I am disappointed with you, don’t you know how to redeem yourself?
Or do you just sit back and enjoy the fruits of your life, just waiting for me to take a step towards you, instead of choosing to catch me? "
"Of course not!"
Of course Fang Yin would not be such a cowardly man.
But what Shen Yan said was right, he was afraid of losing Shen Yan.
After having everything, he became helpless, all because he could not bear the life after losing Shen Yan.
"Please give me a moment and let me think about how to tell you."
How to convince your lover to accept your negative side?
If there was such a course, Fang Yin would definitely sign up for it without hesitation, but life is not an exam after all.
There are challenges all the time.
After coming into contact with Shen Yan again, Fang Yin finally plucked up the courage and decided to tell Shen Yan everything about her past.
No matter what Shen Yan's reaction was, at least he had worked hard for himself and her.
He admits that he is not a perfect lover, but he must be a brave lover.
Even if Shen Yan is really disappointed with him, he will bravely hold her hand just like Shen Yan said.