If time were rewinded before returning this time, Gao Xue might still hesitate.
But after seeing the current situation of Fang Yin and Shen Yan, she no longer had any worries.
She is really far away from them now.
If she wanted to develop something with Song Nan, it was impossible now.
Once one of them has an accident, the pain faced by the other person is unbearable.
She has too many things to do, and he needs to be able to stand by their side.
Gao Xue thought, if others heard this, they would think she was very unrealistic, but she always meant what she said.
She will definitely seize every opportunity to climb up.
It's not too late to wait until that day to think about what happened between her and Song Nan.
If Song Nan also means this to her, then time is just a tool for them to accumulate strength.
If Song Nan already had a girlfriend or got married during this period, then... they were not destined.
After thinking about it clearly, Gao Xue became even more indifferent when facing Song Nan.
She was always holding a breath in her heart.
Now she needs to take care of Shen Yan. After Shen Yan gets better, she has to find a job quickly.
She was very anxious, and she didn't know why she was anxious to catch these things.
Another day, Song Nan came to bring her lunch.
The two of them sat on the stone bench and looked at Gao Xue, who didn't say a word. Song Nan was suffocating in his heart.
She has been behaving like this for a while, and I don't know where he offended her.
"What's wrong with you? Can't you tell me something?"
"Um?"
Gao Xue raised his head and looked at him confused, not knowing why he asked like this.
But after coming into contact with Song Nan's gaze that seemed to penetrate her, Gao Xue quickly lowered his head.
She has always been the one ahead among her peers, and she has always been someone else's child.
Even Gao Xue himself has always considered himself mature.
But in front of Song Nan, she always felt that she had nothing to hide.
All thoughts can be seen through by him.
Therefore, Gao Xue always felt a little scared and panicked when facing Song Nan's gaze.
But now that Song Nan had asked, he made up his mind and would not let Song Nan escape again.
He took the lunch box from Song Nan's hand and squatted in front of her, forcing her to look at him.
"What are you thinking about? Can't you tell me?
If you wanted such a separation when you said separation, then I would never agree to it."
Gao Xue raised her head fiercely, "What do you mean?"
She was shocked by the hidden meaning of his words.
Is Song Nan saying that he still has different feelings for her?
Gao Xue didn't dare to guess, she was afraid that she was just trying to draw water from a bamboo basket but in vain.
She doesn't have anything yet.
She never wanted to place her value entirely on another person's feelings.
Shen Yan is different, that's because she and Fang Yin are in love.
But now Fang Yin has forgotten her, Shen Yan has been in such pain, and she can't bear to let her sister suffer in that way.
But she loved Fang Yin so much, and there was nothing she could do about it.
"Don't you know what I mean?
When you wanted to separate, I gave you the biggest concession, and I agreed.
But this doesn’t mean that I have to face you who is unwilling to speak to me no matter what."
"What do you mean?
Now that we are separated, why do you interfere with me?"
There was something wrong with Gao Xue's voice, and she didn't understand why the separation was all her fault.
If Song Nan really respects her so much, why doesn't he think more about her?
He has always been smart, and everyone knows he is smart, so why can't he be smarter about their relationship?
Does she really want to leave him?
She was afraid, she didn't have the confidence to stand by Song Nan's side.
"I just know that you will definitely be by my side, so I gave you the freedom to leave me now.
Otherwise, do you think I can't tie you to me?
I thought I was giving you time to think things over, but what are you like now, and why have you never been willing to face me?
Also, during this period of time you are always in a panic and lose your mind from time to time, what are you thinking about?"
Gao Xue opened his mouth in shock. He didn't expect that Song Nan's so-called separation was just to give her some time to think clearly that it was the best choice for them to be together.
He did still like her, and it was because of this love that Song Nan made such a decision.
But now he actually regretted his decision, which was something he had never experienced before.
Every time he watched Gao Xue pass by him, he always had the urge to grab her hand and not let go.
But their identities are completely different from how they were able to hold hands before, and Gao Xue always looks so strong on the surface, but isn't she actually just a little girl?
If she acted so rashly, she would definitely be frightened by him. Song Nan didn't want to see her run away from him again.
He had been trying his best to endure himself, but after seeing Gao Xue move away and face his gaze again, he couldn't endure it anymore.
Just like now, Gao Xue lowered his head again, just not wanting to look at him squatting in front of her.
"Are you in a hurry about work?
I can find some caregivers to help you take care of Shen Yan, and you can go to work with peace of mind."
In fact, Song Nan and Gao Xue don't need to worry about this at all.
Fang Yin had already prepared many people who could help Shen Yan, but Gao Xue refused them all.
She thinks that Shen Yan's condition is not stable now, so it would be better for her to be around to take care of him.
But work is indeed part of the reason. She wants to climb up quickly.
She wanted to be able to stand beside Song Nan.
"That's not the case. Don't invite anyone. Shen Yan's condition has not fully recovered yet. I don't want those outsiders to come and disturb her."
"Oh, you only talk more when it comes to Shen Yan. When will you give me half of your eyes?"
Gao Xue's brows frowned slightly.
"Why are you comparing this with her? She is still a patient now."
"Why can't I compare?
You can set your sights on anyone, but what about me?
Every time you see me, you look away in a hurry. Is this face of mine so disgusting to you?"
Gao Xue subconsciously wanted to deny it, but how to explain it?
She couldn't say that she wanted to go to him when she saw him, so she was always in such a hurry.
If he could stay calm when facing Song Nan, then there would be no need for her to be so anxious.
"...I don't know what you are talking about."
But this time Song Nan didn't allow her to turn her face away and look away.
He held half of Gao Xue's face with his hands and turned it back, "Look at me, I want to talk to you."
Damn it!
Gao Xue found that once he came into contact with Song Nan's eyes, he couldn't help but feel aggrieved.
But what did she feel wronged about? She was the one who initiated the separation in the first place.
She, Gao Xue, brought all this on herself. It is really not in line with her character to be miserable like this in front of him.
"When I see your eyes, I know you still like me, right?
If you like me too, then why not give us a chance to have a good try together?
Even now, Fang Yin and Shen Yan have not given up on each other, but we have never even started.
I don't want us to regret it for the rest of our lives.
I don't know about you, but I will definitely regret it. I just want to keep you by my side forever."
Song Nan's eyes were full of seriousness. Gao Xue was the first woman he had courted like this.
But he knew that it was all worth it, because compared to the so-called dignity, losing her was more unbearable for him.
After breaking up with her that time, he never heard from Gao Xue again.
Gao Xue also returned to her place of work. He could only occasionally get a glimpse of Gao Xue's activities from Shen Yan's circle of friends.
But that's far from enough.
He wanted this person to be visible and tangible in front of him.
I can hold her in my arms and smell the fragrance of her hair every day.
After knowing that she was coming to take care of Shen Yan this time, he found that he was so excited for the first time and drove to pick her up before she arrived.
If I hadn't made a lot of mental preparations before, I might have lost my composure the first time I saw Gao Xue.
How could Gao Xue not be moved when faced with Song Nan's confession?
Not to mention that she really likes this man, how could she wish to be by his side.
But the conflict between them has not changed.
Will things get better after we are really together this time?
She didn't want them to end up in such an ugly situation later.
"Do you think there will be a future between the two of us?
Will they love each other as deeply as Fang Yin and Shen Yan?"
This is the most real question deep in Gao Xue's heart. Shen Yan and Fang Yin are already the most loving people she has ever seen around her.
If he could be like them, Gao Xue would still have some confidence in his heart.
"Why do you always mention them?
They are them and we are us.
The two of them are like this now just because Fang Yin forgot about Shen Yan, but didn't you notice?
Fang Yin has also been caring about Shen Yan these days. Some things cannot be changed subconsciously.
His love for Shen Yan has become a habit and an instinct of his body.
I will also become like this, can you give me a little confidence and give us another chance?"
Gao Xue shook his head.
That's not what she wanted to say.
What she wants is not Song Nan's guarantee.
She could believe that the man in front of her said he liked her, but the gap between the two of them could not be ignored.
And he and Shen Yan have different personalities.
"That's not what I care about. I just want to ask you, how can we resolve the gap between us?
Wasn't it because of this incident that we separated before? There is really a big difference between us."
"So your answer is no?"
Song Nan was a little disappointed. He didn't expect that after wasting so much time, Gao Xue would think of asking him this question.
He has the confidence to go together with Gao Xue, and he believes that these will never become an obstacle between the two of them.
"You see, you and I haven't thought about these things clearly, so how can we be together rashly?"
Gao Xue did not expect that he would talk seriously about this matter with this man for the second time.
It’s just that the last time I talked about separation.
"Being apart for so long is not enough, have you thought clearly?
After thinking about it for a long time, I realized that I still want to be with you, so I told you this.
Isn't your love for me enough for you to overcome these difficulties?"
He didn't know how the communication between them could cause such a big problem.
But Song Nan knew that her desire to be with him was true.
"Our communication is not on the same frequency at all.
I'm just saying that if I hadn't made such preparations, we would have only faced a not-so-good ending together.
It's precisely because I like you and value you that I don't want to do this, don't you understand?"
Gao Xue said this as if he was giving up on himself.
She closed her eyes, but she didn't expect that Song Nan didn't speak for a while.
"You...why don't you speak?"
Gao Xue slowly opened his eyes and saw Song Nan in front of him looking lost.
But there was an obvious hint of joy in his eyes.
"...You don't know how happy I am to hear you say I like you."
It took a while before Song Nan said this.
Gao Xue realized that he felt waves of heat on his face.
"Don't change the subject. This is not the point. Did you hear clearly what I just said?"
Song Nan quickly assured, "I heard clearly, I heard everything clearly.
I know what you care about. What I was thinking about was always different from yours.
I thought you didn't like me, that's why you rejected me.
It's just that our two focuses are different.
I think the two of us are together, and those things are unimportant to me.
Today, whether you are Cinderella or a noble princess, I want to be with you.
This is not because of your identity or your status, it's just because you are Gao Xue.
I know everything I say now is vain, but if you are not with me, I won't have this chance to prove myself, right?
I hope you can give me a chance to prove all this."
How could Gao Xue not be moved when seeing Song Nan like this?
"I, but I don't know if I'm worthy of you doing this.
What's more, the gap between the two of us is really big. I'm not sure whether the me standing next to you is still the same me who is so confident every day.
I'm afraid I'll lose myself because of these gaps.
What I’m more afraid of is that because I’ve changed, you won’t like me anymore.”
Song Nan didn't expect Gao Xue to think so much more than him.
Maybe because he has a higher status between the two of them, he has never had these concerns, and he doesn't think the gap between the two of them is a problem.
But Gao Xue was different. She was in a hot mood every day, and she didn't want to completely lose herself just because she fell in love.