The moment I stepped into the room and saw the small bulge on the bed, I felt relieved, but a burst of heartache spread again.
I opened the quilt without thinking, and she was lying there quietly, bending her body like an injured kitten. I couldn't help but stretched out my hand, but quickly took it back without touching it.
Afraid, afraid that if I accidentally touch her, she will disappear, just like the flowers in the water or the moon in the mirror; and like the fragile glass, which seems to break when touched.
"Let them go, and let yourself go." She slowly opened her feather fan and slightly opened her chapped lips that were extremely pale.
She was pale and seemed to become transparent, maybe more like a wisp of smoke. I was afraid that she would float away in the blink of an eye. This fear has always been haunting me, especially those days. As time goes by, that feeling becomes more and more...
becomes stronger.
"You can't save me even if you let them go. You are a knot in my life that I can't escape or untie. I even hate myself because of you. You tell me what I should do and what I should do to you.
"I held her in my arms tightly, as if I wanted to rub her into my body. Maybe only in this way can I truly feel that she still exists by my side. Maybe only in this way can I
It can bring some sense of security to my floating and panic-stricken heart.
"If one day, I am no longer here, then forget about me." Her voice was so soft, soft enough to turn into a sharp blade.
It seems that I can hear the sound of a sharp knife piercing my heart, and the pain spreads instantly, "What nonsense." No, I will never allow her to leave me, not even a thought.
I began to feel confused about my previous decision. I suspected that my previous decision to push her out of the chaos was wrong, completely wrong.
She still smiled faintly, "You know, for a long time, I felt that I didn't like you at all, I could even say I hated you, but I didn't know that I had fallen in love with you. That feeling was really complicated.
, I miss you when I can't see you, but I want to escape when I see you." The voice was calm without any waves.
After a pause, something finally changed in her beautiful eyes, "Until that day you told me that no matter what happens to the child after birth, you will protect our mother and child for life. At that time, I was so touched, really touched. So I followed my own wishes
Heart, I told myself that you are the person I am looking for in this life, the person I want to hold hands with until I grow old. Do you still remember those eight words: Hold your hand and grow old together with me."
She took a deep breath, "Sometimes I think how nice it would be if we were just an ordinary couple, just like the Four Emperors and Sister Liu. I know this is just a fantasy and my selfish idea, because you have your own
Dream, and I will gradually become an obstacle to the realization of your dream, an obstacle that will make you painful."
"Let me go." Her light voice came, very light, like spider silk floating in the air, so light that you have to look hard to find it even though it is right in front of you.
Her words made me feel that there was an unbridgeable gap between me and her. We looked at each other from afar, and suddenly she turned away without saying a word, but I could only stand on the other side.
Roaring, but she turned a deaf ear and felt powerless in her heart.